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» TMO Talk » The Library » It's Red Nose Day! Are you a **** , or do you care?

   
Author Topic: It's Red Nose Day! Are you a **** , or do you care?
Jimmy Big Nuts
CounterCulture Vex'
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Today I'm going to be

  • Headbutting dogs - £1 a scream
  • forcing broad beans underneath my lower eyelids - 20p a bean
  • starting every sentence with the phrase "Well I never!" - I have to pay 50p every time I forget to do so
  • operating a glory hole in London Bridge station (unrelated)
  • acting like an annoying prick for charidee

Oh, I'm such a curmodgeonly dickhead!
today I did wear t-shirt and jeans, but that was more because Louise got to do so for red nose day, so I thought I will as well, even though nobody cares what I wear. But my 'team' isn't into things like being zany, and I think that the organization as a whole is a bit too serious for red nose day. Which is fine. I'm not really into having fun for a good cause, or any reason.

I was wondering though - any forumites raising any money to fund lenny henry? Anything going down near you that you're trying to avoid? EVER done anything for red nose day? Does ralph know what it is? Why do i have pains in my chest every time I bend over?

[ 16.03.2007, 06:55: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]

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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts:
Does ralph know what it is?

No! But enlighten me, seriously. I have threads just like this one to thank for my love of Morris dancing. I can't wait to see 'em again this coming May!
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Lickapaw#2
TMO Member
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Ralph - Red Nose Day is a national day when you have to have oral sex with a woman who is menstruating.

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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Cherry In Hove
Channel 39
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My company are manning the phones to take donations tonight so I considered helping out with that but then I realised that Tiger Wood 07 is being dleivered tonight so really I have to play that instead.
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ralph

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quote:
Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:
Ralph - Red Nose Day is a national day when you have to have oral sex with a woman who is menstruating.

You Brits have the coolest holidays. I'll have to send the lads in our London office a card or something.

eta: Seriously, what's Red Nose Day? I know I could look it up on the internet, but lately it just seems so cold and impersonal.

[ 16.03.2007, 07:02: Message edited by: ralph ]

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Lickapaw#2
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Why not?

I believe it's descended from an old Pagan ritual.

EDIT: No, really, it is. Will someone else back me up, please?

[ 16.03.2007, 07:03: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby.
We all locked in.
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The very first Red Nose Day I was at college and we did a food race. Basically it was like an obstacle course, against the clock, consisting of things like:

  • eating cold garlicky spaghetti from a big tray with no hands or tools
  • bobbing for apples in lukewarm custard
  • eating bourbon biscuits from a tray of golden syrup, no hands
  • you and your race partner feeding each other crisps (quite erotic at the time, actually)
  • eating/drinking a pint of a disgustingly flavoured angel delight, cunningly textured with yet more crisps
  • eating dry cream crackers

etc etc.

We got covered in food, felt very sick, then went and soothed our heaving stomachs by ingestion of copious amounts of heavily-subsidised beer from the miniscule college bar.

[ 16.03.2007, 07:04: Message edited by: H1ppychick ]

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i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song

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Jimmy Big Nuts
CounterCulture Vex'
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it's a day when people do zany things to get sponsored by their weary chums. There's also a long tv show on The National Broadcasting Channel of Great Britain where washed up comedians reprise dead routines for an audience who've been driven to suicide by the constant images of poverty and misery. In response to the calvacade of horrors, the nation is expected to ring up and divert their "britain's loveliest dancer" and "I want to be a millionaire" TV call-in funds towards something other than infantile gratification and fat headed optimism. And it's THE LAW that every citizen take part else they're named and shamed in The Sun newspaper then next day as greedy ***** who hate black children.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I have purchased and eaten two pieces of chocolate shortbread at a price of 40p per piece. I have been assured that my 80p is going to charidee. I don't really give a stuff, though. Was nice shortbread. And cheap.
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Black Mask

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I'm doing a sponsored carpet-bombing of Eritrea. I hope to raise in excess of seventeen pounds.

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sweet

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Jimmy Big Nuts
CounterCulture Vex'
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quote:
Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:
Ralph - Red Nose Day is a national day when you have to have oral sex with a woman who is menstruating.

I lol'ed, although, that's no mark of quality.
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ralph

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Red Nose Day sounds kinda queer.
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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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I lol'ed at Benway's accurate description of Red Nose Day and that's a gold standard, like the Michelin star, or getting THX put on your amplifier.

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Now that you've called me by name?

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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I lolled at lickapaw too, and mylol is a mark of quality. So, well done Lickapaw. *pats Lickapaw on head in faintly patronising manner*

Actually, is that kind of habit of doing actions in *'s acceptable on TMO? It's quite a bad habit and one I keep falling into. *slaps self on wrist*

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Lickapaw#2
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quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts:
quote:
Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:
Ralph - Red Nose Day is a national day when you have to have oral sex with a woman who is menstruating.

I lol'ed, although, that's no mark of quality.
Fair comment.

Though, how do you define quality?

*Rearranges hair messed up by Louche*

Louche, I used to put actions into asterisks all the time. I don't mind if you do it - not sure what everyone else thinks, though.

*Scratches nose*

[ 16.03.2007, 07:12: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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Jimmy Big Nuts
CounterCulture Vex'
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quote:
Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:

Though, how do you define quality?

something that's alright.
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Nathan Bleak
It's all grist to the mill
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No-one's doing fuck all in my office (I mean - for red nose day. I've been ringing round journalists and crying down the phone at them after accidentally sending out some confidential information instead of a press release, lol *sobs*). I didn't even know it was Red Nose day today. Last time I did anything was when they had the Big Hair Day, and I put my hair up in spikes and I was the only cunt in the office that did anything, and looked like a fool as a result. They took a photo of me and sent it round to everyone, to laugh at. Awful. So Fuck the black kids, I'm not humiliating myself for them anymore.

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Now that you've called me by name?

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Lickapaw#2
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quote:
Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts:
quote:
Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:

Though, how do you define quality?

something that's alright.
Are we going to end up with a long thread based on this conversation? You get one chance and then we must move on:

How do you define alright?

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Alright = a post done by Boy Racer

Quality = a post done by Benway

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Lickapaw#2
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quote:
Originally posted by Louche:
Alright = a post done by Boy Racer

Quality = a post done by Benway

Ah.

I haven't done anything for Red Nose Day today, partly because it's just me in the office today and partly because we wouldn't if there were any more of us.

I did buy a Red Nose Day cake the other day, though, cleverly marketed as the above by a half glace cherry. Actually, I feel a bit of a cow, because I took change from the cashier over it.

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Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!

Ringo: Don't tell me what to do.

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Jimmy Big Nuts
CounterCulture Vex'
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Louche is so flirting with me this week. I hope it continues!
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ben

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Walkers Crisps can go fuck themselves - never mind saving starving kids in the 3rd world... how about refraining from giving tubby kids type-2 diabetes in the 1st world you fucks. Fuck all those other companies who think they can give themselves a makeover through their involvement with this charade.

That said: The Apprentice was good last night. The two highlights were:
1. The faces of the women when Alastair Campbell started 'negotiating' with them
2. Alastair Campbell's face when the men's total was dwarfed by that raised by the women - and him team leader and all

Also: when Piers Morgan physically molested Trinny Woodall and when Rupert Everett walked off becaused he couldn't handle cameras being pointed at him [Confused]

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Black Mask

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Piers Morgan needs a fucking good kicking.

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sweet

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Ringo

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I don't do anything for comic relief. I earn my money and I don't see why I should be guilted into handing it over to people who can't be bothered to work for theirs.
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby.
We all locked in.
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some poor saps are queuing up in the 'street' downstairs to get their legs waxed, in front of a crowd of baying females. a girl dressed in red-themed school uniform is waving a collection bucket around in a desultory fashion.

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i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song

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Ringo

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I don't get why women make such a fuss about men having stuff waxed, like it's some kind of unimaginable pain that only women can stand. I had my back waxed last year and it wasn't that bad.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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FUCK STARVING AFRICANS - dig deep for Mart!

[ 16.03.2007, 09:24: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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No-one in our office seems to be doing much. Then again, no-one much seems to have turned in today, the bunch of lazry arses.

Did you know you can't buy a Galileo Thermometer in Manchester for love or money? Even the Museum shop doesn't have them. The Museum of Science and Industry.

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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby.
We all locked in.
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now there's something that should be photoshopped....

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i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Why would anyone want to photoshop me failing to buy a Galileo Thermometer?
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby.
We all locked in.
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curse you with your untimely intervention.

I bought one in a shop called The Natural World, and I just googled to see if there was one in Manchester.

Serve me right for trying to be helpful.

(There isn't. In case you were wondering.)

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i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song

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Carter
Taller than Bandy ?
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quote:
Originally posted by Louche:
Did you know you can't buy a Galileo Thermometer in Manchester for love or money? Even the Museum shop doesn't have them. The Museum of Science and Industry.

I got one from one of those Natural World shops. There must be one in Manchester, if only for clubbers who want pretty lights to mong to.

That's Manchester, isn't it? Monging clubbers?

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Mongy clubbers certainly provide an element of the city's wide and diverse culture, Carter. Is there one of these shops anywhere in the north west? Honestly, people were practically throwing these things at you in the street a couple of years ago. Now not even the Museum of Science and Industry deign to sell them.

Bloody mothers.

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