Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
Living in the exciting world of the ever changing public sector, I get moved around a lot. I’m on my third job and fourth desk this year. At least I get to look out of the window at Rochdale this time, rather than Tameside. I was getting rather bored of Tameside. Very tame, is Tameside.
Anyway, I was settling into my new home. Same old. Post-its on the cupboard that box me in. Large ball of blu-tac for stress release squishing stuck firm to the monitor. Salt and pepper mini grinders (for adding to soup) in desk drawer. So far, so predictable. My mundane office life laid bare.
Anyhoo, I came in the other Monday to discover some bright person in Facilities had had a bit of a move round and there is now a photocopier next to me. This is annoying. It means people photocopy things near me. It is noisy. Also, these people what are photocopying things talk to me. This is just not on. I thoroughly disapprove of being talked to in work. But even more annoyingly, people what photocopy things also leave the lid of the photocopier up. The photocopier is one of those multi-purpose modern all singing all dancing modern contraptions that breaks down on an almost hourly basis. But it is also a printer. That means people use it. To print. And when they do this, and the lid is up, it looks like epileptic-attacking aliens have landed to the left of me. Flashing green lights. I have to actually get up out of my seat and shut the bloody lid. God. Imagine that!
So, I have made a sign and pinned it up. It is a polite sign. It says ‘please close lid after use’. Putting it up gave me a frisson of petty satisfaction. I work in an obsessively petty office, I have added to a profusion of signs (the MARKS AND SPENCERS MILK IN THE FRIDGE IS X TEAM’S. HAVE YOU SWITCHED YOUR HEATER OFF? DO NOT USE THE DISABLED TOILET IF YOU ARE NOT DISABLED etc). I have never stooped to adding my own sign before. I have descended to their level. And in some way it pleases me.
So, TMO, last work petty act perpetrated by you? Or perpetrated around you which brought you pleasure or satisfaction or made you seethe at the pettiness of others?Posts: 5776
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posted
In my small office of eight, using notes to communicate would be somewhat petty indeed. But I may have to resort to such a thing for reasons of delicacy. The lavvy (or 'cludgy', as colleague calls it) is very near my desk, and if someone produces a smell the draft wafts round double pronto. This would be solved if only the offender would close the door. A note to such effect may become necessary. It can join the post-it on the air-freshener which says 'I am the work of Satan'.
posted
Someone I know got left a bullying phone message which left me seething the other day - so I sent a text to the mutual bully that just said 'Hmmmmmm.' and then ignored his calls and replies for several days. Made me feel better for about an hour.
You should add a note that says "Photocopier is NOT for personal use" or something, and just shrug when people look at it, or roll your eyes. Or just move the thing, I hate them. I used to work as a photocopier and had to do low level maintenance on it all the time - fucking toner everywhere and people bothering you because it's run out of paper every five minutes.
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2740
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posted
Hah, excellent. I have been quietly grumbling to myself for a while and this gives me a perfect opportunity to vent! One of my colleagues is very conscientious – everything must be done the ‘correct’ way, even if this serves no valid purpose at all. If this is not done or is prevented through lack of equipment or whatever she agitates about it…on and on and on…
The other day we were going into a particular area of the labs which is kept super clean. You have to wear overalls, face masks, shoe protectors etc and you can’t go in there within 24h of being in a designated ‘dirty’ area. Any stuff you take with you should be sprayed down with ethanol on the way in.
…so she wanted to take some bits of paper we were working from in with her, but insisted on putting them in a plastic envelop so it could be sprayed with the ethanol. I pointed out that we would still be taking the ‘dirty’ paper with us and removing it from its protective covering once inside. But no…the rules are that spraying with ethanol must be done, and that done it was all above board. Spazz.
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posted
I had a jar of jam in the fridge at work - good jam, not your supermarket brand sugary nonsense. One day it disappeared, so I bought a new jar and printed out a huge wrap-around label with the words HANDS OFF in tall, bold letters.
After a few days I forgot about the jam, but a good few months later I found it was still on the 'fridge shelf where I'd left it. Presumably my notice had scared anyone off chucking it out despite the noticable growth within the jar.
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posted
I have to be petty regarding expense claim forms, as I have to authorise them before they go off to Finance. I hate having to ask people which taxi receipt is for which journey and asking them to explain themselves, especially over piddly amounts. If I don't, those fuckers in Finance start harrassing me though.
The photocopier is in my office, and I discourage idle chit-chat. Also, sometimes they (engineers) ask me how to do certain functions! As if I know or care!
I'm scared of getting another job, in case I have to ask someone for stationery, instead of ordering what I fancy from the catalogue and guarding the key to the cupbard.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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posted
Perfect thread for this morning's annoyances.
I have a particular customer (a local office) who just don't seem to know what they're doing. They can't seem to be bothered to train their staff and try to scapegoat us whenever they can after things go wrong. That happened again this morning.
I had a call from Vicki to book something that I was quite sure was already booked but couldn't find it at a moment's notice, so booked it in anyway. Strange, because usually this office email me these things, but okay. She's new and all that.
She then asks me to call the tenant and let him know I've booked it. Wondering what Vicki's on about I agree to do so. Usually they do the calling.
I put the phone down and check where this booking previously was (if anywhere) and, lo and behold, it's already booked.
I call her office manager to ask which day this booking should be for, and confusion ensues. Eventually he figures out that the tenant wants the second booking.
Okay, so I call and tell him that his booking is for this time on this day, and he lets out the mother of all sighs. He's got a removal van booked for that day and wants 9am, not 5pm! I tell him I can't book it for then because our inspectors are in a completely different town. Not a happy customer. I offer half way through the day, but he doesn't want that. He wants the day before, which would be before his contract begins.
I ring the office again. They say he can have his check in the day before but we have to keep the keys so he can't have access after the appointment. The little Hayley sitting on my shoulder whispers to me that this customer isn't going to like this, and I quietly agree.
Call customer again. Tell him I can book him in for the previous day morning, but he can't keep the keys. Customer has stopped ranting and started being sulky by now. I feel like I'm dangling a Bonio over a dog's head and taunting it.
Confirm with office.
Soon after, office manager contacts me to ask if I can rebook this check in for that afternoon. Hayley-on-Shoulder and I look at eachother in shock, but offer 1pm.
About an hour later, office manager calls again to say he's booked it for then.
That's only one of the things that happened today. Other problems with that office include the usual offering of phone numbers that I call to try to contact tenants but about 50% of them are wrong, to which Maria in the office states "isn't that strange?" which I think will - or should at least - be carved on her gravestone. Or perhaps on her forehead if she's not careful.
I'm not even going to go into the deal about the check out that wasn't/was booked, because I think you'd get bored of reading this.
posted
Could I have a Pettiness Advisory Rating on the following please:
1. Sending junkmail back to the company (in a stampless envelope so they have to pay) with a note stating "no junkmail" MEANS NO FUCKING JUNKMAIL. I made the effort to find the right number and phone up the Council to get one of those official letterbox stickers, you see.
2. Leaving a "this is my parking space, find yer own" note on a car repeatedly parked in my designated parking space. I don't own a car, but they could at least ask if they want to use it.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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posted
Parking in someone else's private space just because they don't use it all the time is a bit cheeky, like sitting in a stranger's living room and watching their TV while protesting "Well... You were in the shower. What did you care?"
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: 2. Leaving a "this is my parking space, find yer own" note on a car repeatedly parked in my designated parking space.
At my previous house, my next-door neighbours decided to buy a third car and use my designated driving space for this additional vehicle. This angered me greatly. If only I'd possessed the patience that you have exhibited by leaving a nice, polite notice on the car in question. I did, in fact, leave them a card on the windscreen stating: "Fuck off - you cheeky twats." but I had to resort to more extreme methods when this plan failed.
I never did get on with those God-bothering Irish cunts.
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quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Parking in someone else's private space just because they don't use it all the time is a bit cheeky, like sitting in a stranger's living room and watching their TV while protesting "Well... You were in the shower. What did you care?"
Surely this analogy only works if a company parking space is the same or equivalent to a living room, in terms of ownership, privacy, intrusion, inconvenience, law, and I suppose, personal space. If you don't even own a car, why care?
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quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Well I don't own a boat, but if someone allocated me a spot at the boating club and someone put their boat there, I'd be narked too.
Oh yeah, well, you know, boating club, that's a different matter isn't it.
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a) my parents plan on visiting London a lot more now they can park in Zone 3 for free and will want to use it,
b) someone's getting something they're not entitled to for free. And they're driving in London so must automatically be a cnut,
c) it's polite to ask, surely?
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: 1. Sending junkmail back to the company (in a stampless envelope so they have to pay) with a note stating "no junkmail" MEANS NO FUCKING JUNKMAIL. I made the effort to find the right number and phone up the Council to get one of those official letterbox stickers, you see.
One of the biggest sender of junk mail to the Uk is a small office building on an industrial estate in Amsterdam. They'll send anything, anywhere - Watchdog tried to tell them the error of their ways, but they're Dutch - What do they care..
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
posted
oh sorry, I thought you meant a work parking space. Your actual one, that does kind of suck if you're having visitors. Sweet that you got one though.
[ 21.03.2007, 08:38: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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posted
I've been blackballed from the national boating club association after a prank during spring break at Portsmouth Boating Club got way out of hand. I can't go into details, but lets just say that old man mahoney won't keep loaded harpoon guns over the bar of The Nineteenth Shoal again. And I doubt St. Catherine's Catholic School for Girls will be holding the senior year boating tuition scheme there again!
[ 21.03.2007, 08:39: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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posted
I don't know... I just... parking spaces seems like something not worth caring about if you don't have a car. I thought this thread was about work... Look, I've got it all wrong, okay? I've come in here, charged in, slagged off parking, slagged off boat club, made myself look like a dick, and for what? No reason. I kept it shut about junk mail, and I should have done the same about parking. I'll keep it buttoned in the future when it comes to parking.
[ 21.03.2007, 08:48: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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posted
that was all good natured fun. This thread is a bit dark for that.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
Leave a polite note under the windscreen wiper. Be organised and waterproof it. Threaten them with, er, a stern look or something.
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