posted
Page One: "Congratulations on buying your copy of The Artist's Way. Now, please close the book and do not read it, or anything else. Bye then. Close it, I said. Go on..."
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Yeah I know.
She's doing The Artists Way, I don't think it runs to train timetables or roadsigns, just stuff like books, the paper, magazines, and the interweb.
Oh, right. Well that's ridiculous. I feel cheated now because I could never do 'The Artists Way' because I'd lose my job. Gah! Another obstacle to my self-actualisation.
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: She's doing The Artists Way,
quote:through this book you will discover what your soul needs
quote:It is very naive, relevant to writing as much as gardening, is and offering creativity tips such as "post a letter to yourself!" It supposedly frees the creator within and could be helpful if you suffer from low self-esteem. Don't expect any writing tips, though.
This has got to be the gayest gay thing that has every gayed up a bookshelf.
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posted
Those doing shit jobs often end up "creative!" and famous though:
Quentin Tarantino: video store clerk
JK Rowling: washed up ex-EFL teacher (like myself)
Jesus & Harrison Ford: carpenter
And only Jesus used a self help book (Old Testament).
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: shit jobs: video store clerk carpenter
Not sure I agree that either of these are "shit jobs". Although the former pays very badly it's hardly shit; not really physically demanding, can watch videos all day, get free rental, talk about movies with customers, etc. And what's shit about carpentry? It's creative, you get to build stuff, I hear some ladies' like a man in a tool belt, if you're any good the money's just fine; true it's possibly not as well renumerated as movie megastardom but what is?
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posted
Duh! They are shit jobs because they don't involve sleb-interviewing, media-shmoozing, information architecting creative shiznit with other artistes.
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: And what's shit about carpentry? It's creative, you get to build stuff, I hear some ladies' like a man in a tool belt, if you're any good the money's just fine
lol (five pouns) = my dad is a carpenter and would struggle to see what's so creative about spending twenty years doing shopfitting.
Maybe if he was Lord Linley, he could wax lyrical about exquisitely carved ottomans or something.
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posted
I agree with Roy re: carpentry, but working in a video store is horris. There is no way round this.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Surely being a washed up EFL teacher is better than either carpentry or video store clerkage?
Video store clerk has to interact with video renting public. Interaction with the public is always arese. A lot of them smell. Most of them are boring. You will get creeps, freaks, geeks and wierdos by the million in a video shop.
Carpentry gives you blisters. I know, I assembled some shelves from Argos at the weekend. Also, has potential for dropping heavy objects on one foot and then having to do a comedy hop round house, squealing like a pig. So, carpentry sucks cock.
However, as washed up EFL teacher you can get comfortable if poorly paid job in office, brag about your life of international travel and fool yourself you will one day do something of such wondrous creativity your head will fall off. This is alright until fine day of reckoning/dawning dawns and you realise you are still a washed up ex-EFL teacher. But then you can kill yourself with despair and upset all your friends.
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quote:Originally posted by Louche: However, as washed up EFL teacher you can get comfortable if poorly paid job in office, brag about your life of international travel and fool yourself you will one day do something of such wondrous creativity your head will fall off. This is alright until fine day of reckoning/dawning dawns and you realise you are still a washed up ex-EFL teacher. But then you can kill yourself with despair and upset all your friends.
You missed out the bit where you write billion-selling books about teenage wizards and then burn copies of Upper Intermediate Matters on a bonfire of £50 notes.
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posted
I do take your point, but carpenter does not necessarily mean shopfitter does it?
I still think working with wood and tools is better than photocopying, data entry, phone sales etc.
My neighbour Jim (who is 60 odd and about as far from a Lord as you can get, a total old school bloke) is a chippy who has worked in various fields in his life, including theatrical set building. While I know he always saw it as a job, I doubt he'd have thought Carpentry was a particularly shit one.
[ 20.07.2004, 09:03: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
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posted
I'm not allowed to go into video shops any more so I can't really comment. Although none of the staff of any blockbuster video i've ever visited looked particularly happy to be there.
Edit: I suppose that might have been becuase i'd sullied their shop with my mere presence.
Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: You missed out the bit where you write billion-selling books about teenage wizards and then burn copies of Upper Intermediate Matters on a bonfire of £50 notes.
Yeah but if every washed up ex-EFL teacher did that there'd be a glut of rather silly underedited children's books on the market. Also, there would result a UK-wide dearth of fifty pound notes meaning that fat, oleagenous site workers would be unable to clutch them in their greasy palms whilst leering at bar staff and insinuating that their handful of pink notes (pink!) ought to guarantee them a blowjob.
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posted
Hmmm, well for most people, it kind of does. See, as far as carpentry skills are concerned, I would imagine that there are many more job opportunities available in the world of shopfitting than there are in the world of theatrical set building. Particularly if you don't live in London.
[ 20.07.2004, 09:03: Message edited by: Sidney ]
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: I do take your point, but carpenter does not necessarily mean shopfitter does it?
I still think working with wood and tools is better than photocopying, data entry, phone sales etc.
My neighbour Jim (who is 60 odd and about as far from a Lord as you can get, a total old school bloke) is a chippy who has worked in various fields in his life, including theatrical set building. While I know he aslways saw it as a job, I doubt he'd have thought Carpentry was a particularly shit one.
You should have a fight with Jim! He's 60, so you'd probably win. Then you could steal some of his money, and ram some wood up his ass.
quote:Originally posted by London: Yeah. Probably better just to sit around doing a shit job and complaining your whole life.
Eh, what? So now the only two life options are doing a shit job and complaining, or doing a shit job and reading self help books? Actually, is that's the case I think it probably is better to go with the former.
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: You missed out the bit where you write billion-selling books about teenage wizards and then burn copies of Upper Intermediate Matters on a bonfire of £50 notes.
Yeah but if every washed up ex-EFL teacher did that there'd be a glut of rather silly underedited children's books on the market. Also, there would result a UK-wide dearth of fifty pound notes meaning that fat, oleagenous site workers would be unable to clutch them in their greasy palms whilst leering at bar staff and insinuating that their handful of pink notes (pink!) ought to guarantee them a blowjob.
Ahaha! Maybe I'll write billion-selling books about teenage ponyriders and make a bonfire of builders instead.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Eh, what? So now the only two life options are doing a shit job and complaining, or doing a shit job and reading self help books? Actually, if that's the case I think it probably is better to go with the former.
I thought you made that decision a long time ago, m8.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Do girls still do the denial-of-puberty-feelings-and-transference-of-desires-to-horses thing? [from distance of unfashionable age] Isn't it all bling and bonking these days [/from distance of unfashionable age].
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posted
i have broken down! i am supposed to be transcribing interview tapes from tuesday and my inner critic is SCREAMING AT ME< LISTEN TO YOURSELF YOU POINTLESS **** WHAT KIND OF QUESTION WAS THAT? how much MORE FUCKING INCOMPETENT DID YOU WANT TO MAKE YOURSELF LOOK THAT AFTERNOON>. listening to my stupid posh ******* stuttering voice on this tape, asking these incredibly intelligent, creative people questions so fucking banal and devoid of insight into what they were doing that my earballs are practically melting off my head dali-esque with the embarrassment of it...
god this is awful. i have overreached myself. leap and the net will appear she said. i leapt before the net was finished and now ive got to transcribe an hours worth of clever people talking to a **** .
please someone a) stroke my forehead and b) tell me to get off the internet and start trying to pull this disaster together. i want to cry- there is no net, its all a lie, i have been so utterly possessed by IC that my head is about to start spinning on my shoulders and i advise you all to lock up your crucifixes. (does linda blair wank with a crcuifix in the exoricst? or is that just the devils?)
posted
I'm going to come round to yours, rip the wires out of your intermesh and bash you round the head with The Artist's Gay if you don't get on and do it RIGHT NOW! Why not have a mini-break and write some morning pages, or have a wank or something, then come back to it?
posted
DD, I think what you describe is a perfectly natural reaction to hearing oneself conduct an interview. I have boxes full of tapes of myself from my time in radio, and I find it immensely painful to listen to any of it because it's so painfully horribly awful.
It's probably also an instance of being a bit too self-critical... what sounds horrible to you probably sounds just fine or even gasp! normal to everyone else.
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Why not have a mini-break and write some morning pages, or have a wank or something, then come back to it?
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