That, having bought my breakfast sandwich, I went to get a magazine to gawp at and went through the following strangely rational process...
Walk into newsagent, look at magazine racks, determine that they don't have a copy of EDGE. Look at mens magazine shelf, see large enveloped copy of ice, see ladies with tops off, think about buying on basis of this, see aby titmouse on cover, think god I hate her, but tits. think don't buy shit mag just for tits buy porn instead. look at porn shelves. no just girls. but Masyfair summer special 17 stunners (yeah I wondered too) take to counter, Asian shop keepers handle porn like toxic waste, conceal in n iceland carrier bag. walk out of shop followed by trails of boozeness odour.
My brothr in law owes me bigtime.
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Awesome stunners names include Breeanne and Sandra. Lucy is pullingthe best comedy faces, although Petra is giving her a run for her money and has an almost completely pointles trimmed to virtual non-existence rectangle.
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I used to really like Mayfair, and probably still would if I still bought porn mags. It always seemed to have real sounding girls with proper bodies, not pumped up and covered with some sort of vegetable oil. And they'd keep their legs together for the most part, which was far more pleasant.
At the same time, Mayfair's letters page and 'Quest' feature always seemed to try that little bit harder to be imaginitive and not simply involve a milkman and a bored housewife.
Once you'd wanked yourself into exhaustion they even supplied a couple of quite interesting articles about planes or motorbikes to browse through while you recovered. I've never been quite clear how the more modern men's magazines can provide even a hint of this kind of quality service.
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For some reason I thought I should go to work Ben.
Dang. Mayfair is no longer quite so polite, but it's still more reserved than most top selfers. It's something of a family tradition aswell, when I was about 12 my Dad gave me his old dunlop sports bag (large yellow leather semi circular thing, fucking awesome) and i found a vintage Mayfair in the flat pocket at the bottom.
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: (large yellow leather semi circular thing, fucking awesome) and i found a vintage Mayfair in the flat pocket at the bottom.
No wonder you cut yourself when you see The Simpsons!
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Thank you, thank you, I'm very grateful for this award and I'd like to thank all of the people that made it possible, and I'd especiallly like to say FUCK OFF BANDY YOU POINTLESSLY CHURLISH TWAT!
[ 30.07.2004, 05:59: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
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quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: It's something of a family tradition as well, when I was about 12 ... i found a vintage Mayfair
Me too. My dad had a couple of copies 'lying around'. I read them so many times I could probably recognise the girls in a nude ID parade even now, even if they would be about 50. Maybe this could be arranged.
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i find walking out into the middle of the girls playground, trousers round my ankles, cock slick with baby oil shouting "come and get it you diry little whores" tends to solve that problem.
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quote:Originally posted by damo: i find walking out into the middle of the girls playground, trousers round my ankles, cock slick with baby oil shouting "come and get it you diry little whores" tends to solve that problem.
quote:Originally posted by disco: youre looking at porn at work? dude, you work in a girls' school! thats so wrong!
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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