I was thinking about my morning routine, and about how tight my game is, and about how those two things are totally symbiotic. The tighter my game, the more locked down I keep my morning routine, and vice versa. As in, the more locked down I keep my morning routine, the tighter my overall game is. Do you see, they feed into each other. They are co-beneficial and co-dependant, which is what I meant by 'symbiotic'. I hope that makes sense.
Anyway I thought it might be fun to share morning routines, you know, to help each other tighten our games up. It might be fun, but of course, chances are swapping information about the most mindlessly mechanical portion of the day could just be a giant bummer, like mikee, and totally lay waste to the thursday thrill that's rumbling like a drag strip in our collective underpants. I don't know man. I'm just flapping the flannel - spilling the shampoo, dig.
my piece of shit morning routine
7.55 alarm - snooze
8.20 get up
- find ipod, put in dock
- turn on computer
either A) boil kettle or B) clean and refill coffee pot and put on stove, turning heat up to '4'.
login to computer
shower (Shampoo, rinse, conditioner, then body wash, then conditioner out)
refresh the podcast view in itunes
either A) re-boil kettle or B) turn off stove
re-sync ipod
turn on iron
Make coffee
retrieve ipod, put in dock in kitchen, start listening to podcast
begin ironing and drinking coffee
once shirt is done, put on clothes
quick look at internet
finish coffee
computer off
9.10 - leave house.
That's how it goes, every morning when I'm going into work. It never changes. It's always in that order.
That's how I keep my shit locked up tight down.
You?
[ 21.08.2008, 11:48: Message edited by: Kanye West ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
how do you iron coffee?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Wake up at 4:45 or so
Turn off alarm which was set for 5:30
Get dressed for work (showered the previous evening)
leave house at 4:55 or so
arrive at work around 6:00 or so
that's a tight game yo
[ 21.08.2008, 11:53: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
ralph, you smell.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: how do you iron coffee?
with great dexterity and skill.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Yes. I smell of roses and kittens. And cigarettes of course.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Yeah, showering the night before is no substitute, especially when you spend the entire night wracked by fearsweats.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
it also means fucked up hair.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
my hair is pretty short now. a quick brushing and it's good to go.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
My game is so tight it turns charcoal to diamonds...
8.05 - finally decide to get up, after snoozing the alarm 8.06 - loo 8.07 to 8.12 - shower, consisting of: [shampoo hair, rinse, condition hair,] wash rest of me, rinse off [conditioner and] soap. Items in brackets occur every other day only. 8.13 to 8.15 - brush teeth 8.16 to 8.20 - cleanse, tone and moisturise 8.20 - turn on iron (if required) [8.21 to 8.23 - blow dry hair] 8.24 to 8.27 - iron any essential work clothes 8.28 to 8.30 - get dressed 8.31 to 8.33 - get bag and security pass etc together 8.35 - leave for office.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
7:05am - Alarm goes off. Press snooze. Keep hold of phone. 7:10 - Alarm goes off again. Press snooze. 7:15 - Alarm goes off again. Press snooze. 7:20 - Alarm goes off again. Turn off and sit on edge of bed staring out of window to determine kind of layering I'll need clothes wise. 7:30 - Run bath, clean teeth, get in bath. 8:00 - Go downstairs and turn on kettle. Make tea. 8:05 - Find clean clothes. 8:10 - Go through tights drawer. Run hand through the tights to check for holes. Do this eight times. Put holey tights back in drawer. 8:25 - Realise I'm going to miss my train if I don't stop plucking my eyebrows. Continue plucking stray hairs between my eyes. 8:35 - Leave house. Power walk up the road and hope to make the 8:39 train. 8:43 - Stand in line at the coffee shop for more tea. Buy newspaper. Sit on platform. 8:49 - Train to London Bridge. 9:10 - Change trains to Charing Cross (I missed the direct one at 8:39, obviously) 9:24 - Arrive at Charing Cross. Walk towards to Covent Garden. 9:30 - Make stop at Tesco to buy bagels. 9:50 - Arrive at office.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
this is good though - this is online collaboration. We're helping ralph. He's tightened his game to the point where shit is no longer locked down- it's overtightened, like a pre-teen. Ralp,h you need to slacken your game. You're one step away from putting on your school uniform before you go to bed, like my bro did back in the 80s, lol.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
lol, I used to go to bed in my rowing gear when I was at uni and had a 6.30a.m. meeting the following morning - in which case it was:
6.15 wake up 6.16 go to loo on way to bike shed 6.18 get on bicycle 6.25 arrive at gate to Christchurch Meadows 6.26 climb gate 6.30 arrive at boathouse.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
My game is perfect. Perfect! Not a single second wasted. I don't even use the loo until I get to the office. I'm not wasting my time when I can waste company time. Out the door at 2-2:30, home by 3-3:30, plenty of daylight hours to spend working on the house or playing with the kids. ralph = tight
[ 21.08.2008, 12:14: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
6AM - Get woken by my partner, and, I'm pleased to say, lover's alarm going off. 6.15AM - Rusty gets out of bed. Goes to shower. I spread my shit right across the double bed and lock it down tight. 6.45AM - Get a goodbye kiss, wakes me up again, think about popping a cap in her ass but let it pass and go back to sleep. 8.00AM - Alarm goes off. Hit snooze repeatedly, idly masturbate until... 8.30AM - Get out of bed, pour a pint of water, drink it, whilst locking my piss down real tight in the toilet bowl. 8.35AM - Get in shower - genitals, pits, face. Wash off. 8.45AM - Dry myself whilst sitting in lounge staring blankly at records. 8.55AM - Make bed, shut window. 9.00AM - Get dressed, put work shirt in Bag, cycling t shirt on. 9.10AM - Leave house, lock the doors down tight, shut the shit.
That's some tight morning shit yo. And a lot less smelly than Ralph.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: And a lot less smelly than Ralph.
Meh. I don't have a lot of face time with actual people during the day.
partner. lol.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
I used to go to bed in my school clothes in the '70's.
'Uncle' Paul made me.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
What exactly is it that you people do while you sleep that makes you stink come morning? Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Do you not have sex with your partner when you're in bed with him at night?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Talking of Brian, how's the house coming along, ralph?
That's, like, a genuine question.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: What exactly is it that you people do while you sleep that makes you stink come morning?
I masturbate in my sleep. Can't help it. Many a night I'm woken by cold, only to discover the duvet blasted onto the floor by a particularly potent shell of he goo and a little tell tale tadpole finger bowl wibbling away in my belly button.
Most mornings, I wake up humming and crispy as an overdone kipper.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I sleep with my cat.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I shower on Tuesdays.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Talking of Brian, how's the house coming along, ralph?
That's, like, a genuine question.
Not used to genuine questions. Kinda freaked me out, but thanks for asking. No major changes to speak of -- all I'm trying to do at this point is get the second floor winter-proof (insulated) so this winter we'll be able to use the entire house. But stay tuned for an update to the The house that ralph built thread -- I hope to post something there in the next few weeks that will surely be good for the boards, if not opening myself up to more of the usual ridicule.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Great stuff. Opening yourself up to ridicule is good for the boards.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Cats are dirty bastards.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
They'll do anything.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Four legged miniature whores with S&M tongues and no scruples.
Plus they're made of fur. Like little sex bears.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
What, anything?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
They won't do dogs but that's about it.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Cats. Fucking bitches. Don't ever trust them.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: I used to go to bed in my rowing gear when I was at uni
You had special clothes for having arguments in?
Sometimes I really regret not going to "uni".
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
you people get up late..
5.45 alarm 5.45.2 hit snooze 6.00 alarm 6.02 get up 6.05 make tea 6.06 take tea to living room 6.07 turn on news 6.08 - 7.08 watch news, shit, drink tea, get dressed and that, watch early morning porn, more teas, a half arsed wank... 7.15 leave for work..
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm a slice of cunted right now, so morning thing:
7.30 - Pia's alarm goes off
8.00 - I ask her to turn off alarm
8.02 - We get up and I type this
8.03 - About to have a hangover poo while Pia runs a bath
To be continued......
Posted by MKandy (Member # 790) on :
Just by typing my routine this morning is a clear indication of just how not locked down my shit actually is, but i'm going to Wales today, so my routine is not mandatory.
Anyway, here's the routine if you want to be seriously in the zone, like me:
07.29 - Pre-emptive alarm deactivation
07.35 - Turn on TV, usually watch news, but at the moment, Olympics.
07.45 - Make tea and breakfast, then retreat back to bed
08.00 - Shit, Shower, trim fashionable face hair, brush teeth and if i'm feeling daring, floss.
08.20 - Get dressed
08.30 - Try to find security pass, and phones
08.35 - Make bed
08.40 - Finally leave for work
08.50 - Get to work, make tea.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by MKandy:
08.35 - Make bed
I hope everyone appreciates just exactly how locked the fuck down MKandy's morning routine is. Everyone else is just faking compared to this shizzle.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I tried to make 'strip tease' music while Pia got in the bath but she told me off. You know 'dad dah dah dah da da dadad dad da (I love you baby)' and the like but she just stood there in her jimmy jams looking really unconvincingly stern.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
7.45 – alarm. Hit snooze. Promise self to never stay up late/drink/other ever again. Wonder what I have to do this morning. 7.55 – alarm again. 8.05 – alarm again. Get up, open blind to assess weather and make bed. To bathroom…wee, brush teeth and wash face. Or shower if not done before bed (no sleep filth accumulates). 8.15 – Dress, look at hair, poke hair…give up. 8.15-8.30 – Wander around house faffing/tidying/grumbling. Possibly pick up packed lunch if made. Have pita bread if hungover. Get cycling gear on. 8.30 – leave.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by MKandy:
08.35 - Make bed
I hope everyone appreciates just exactly how locked the fuck down MKandy's morning routine is. Everyone else is just faking compared to this shizzle.
Yeah that's some tight shit.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
I had my bed making shit locked down tight before MKandy even turned a duvet.
What I can't get my head around is the number of people who watch TV in the morning or log on. I can't even put the radio in the morning yo. I've got to have silence first thing, it's the only way my shit won't do a houdini on me.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
7:00 - alarm goes off 7:04 - get out of bed 7:05 - deodorise 7:05 - get dressed 7:06 - shave 7:07 - encourage cat away from sink 7:07 - wash face 7:08 - aftershave 7:09 - brush teeth 7:12 - mouthwash 7:13 - put jizzwax in hair 7:14 - try to make hair be reasonable 7:37 - give up 7:38 - stroke cat 7:40 - say goodbye to Kellifer 7:41 - stroke cat 7:42 - leave flat 7:44 - get to train station 7:45 - get on train 8:10 - get off train 8:11 - smoke cigarette 8:15 - get to work 8:16 - purge bladder and bowel
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
0745: Hit snooze on mobile 'phone alarm. Rest it on stomach. 0750: Hit snooze on mobile 'phone alarm. Lightly clench it. 0755: Hit 'Off' on mobile 'phone alarm. Toss on to floor. 0805: Hit snooze on cheap Argos £1-99 alarm. 'Accidentally' knock on to floor. 0810: Hit snooze on third alarm whilst groping around under the bed for the cheap alarm which is still fucking bleeping... 0815: Attempt to convince myself that getting out of bed would be a good idea. 0820: Wake up in a state of panic. Leap out of bed, switching on stereo en-route to the bathroom. Brush teeth whilst sitting on the toilet, pissing and striving to have a shit. 0825: Realise that the shit isn't going to happen and wash hair and face, sticking two crumpets in the toaster beforehand. 0830: Eat crumpets whilst hopping around the bedroom grabbing at clothes left in convenient locations the night before. 0835: Scrape hair back and drink a pint of orange cordial. 0840: Half-jog to car with packed lunch, cursing myself for being such a pathetic, lazy **** . 0841: Run back to flat to switch off stereo. 0842: Drive to work. 0905: Arrive at work and blame the traffic/'new' roadworks for making my journey to work a complete and utter nightmare.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: 0820: ...Brush teeth... 0830: Eat crumpets... 0835: ...drink a pint of orange cordial.
This needs a re-think, Zyg.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
10.31 - Sulk that BM makes an olympics thread that everyones bumming each other to post on
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Your thread invited everyone to slate the olympics, but nobody wants to because the Olympics this year have been genuinely exciting and entertaining. You would know this if you even watched them Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: You would know this if you even watched them
But how can he watch teh lympics if he doesn't even have a television?
[ 22.08.2008, 05:37: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: 0820: ...Brush teeth... 0830: Eat crumpets... 0835: ...drink a pint of orange cordial.
This needs a re-think, Zyg.
I see your point, however this order of events is deliberate. If I brushed my teeth after eating, then there would probably still be a lingering whiff of alcohol on my breath. I've found that far less people accuse me of stinking of alcohol when I eat something after brushing. At least that's the way I see it. Pretty sad when you think about it... Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Your thread invited everyone to slate the olympics, but nobody wants to because the Olympics this year have been genuinely exciting and entertaining. You would know this if you even watched them
I wanted to slag of the Chinese actually. You would know this if you even read the thread Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
They're an industrious, hard working nation with a rich cultural history and a single-minded determination to be the very best at whatever they turn their hand to. We should admire the Chinese you idiot! Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I hope your kit car doesn't come from Hong Kong or you've got blood on your hands, Ringo.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Yeah, I think the Chinese put on a bloody good lympics. I actually wanted them to win at everything (at least beat Team USA). I was gutted when their basketball team was knocked out.
But then late one night, I lay dozing in front of the Games on the Red Button. It was the bit between games where they show a live shot of the lympic flame. Now I may have dreamt this, but I'm sure I remember seeing a group of Chinese officials climbing the staircase around the edge of the cauldron, carrying a large yellow bundle. As they struggled to hoist this seemingly heavy load over the edge, some of the golden fabric unravelled, revealing the body of a what looked like a Tibetan monk!
So now I don't know how to feel.
[ 22.08.2008, 06:06: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Am I the only one who thinks China's attitude towards it's own people is fucking shocking then?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
No, but then as a Socialist state their approach to their own people is always going to contrast starkly with our own isn't it.
But the whole Tibet thing is a bit of an issue.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I don’t think secret executions, censorship, genocide and torture are Socialist ideals, dude.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Yeah you say that, but they probably look at Big Brother, and think that we're equally ridiculous.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
look, they're different to us, they're used to it, different mindset see? And if you think that's racist, it isn't.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I don’t think secret executions,
Also... are you baying for public executions now? What sort of sick wierdo are you?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
In China it's probably a great honour to be tortured by the state. It's a whole different world. I've read some Haruki Murakami books, so I know what I'm talking about.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I don’t think secret executions, censorship, genocide and torture are Socialist ideals, dude.
Oh yeah, now you get all serious. Presumably you thought the best way to highlight China's horrendous human rights record was with a tread asking for suggestions for comedy Olympic events?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Protest can come in all forms, Ringo. Even in a side splitting comedy thread.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Incidentally, all the models I'm using are made in Japan, as far as I can tell. And as we all know, the Nips are good guys
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
A properly, er, executed TMO thread would make it difficult for China to show its face on the world stage ever again.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Incidentally, all the models I'm using are made in Japan, as far as I can tell. And as we all know, the Nips are good guys
Try telling that to the Nanking Tourist board.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I bet TMO is banned in China.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
But surely one in five TMO posters is Chinese?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
eg Benway.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
My girlfriend said that I looked chinese in the following picture, taken on a recent night out. I don't agree with her. Viewers may be interested to know that the angry looking guy on the right is my brother.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I think I look far more chinese in this one.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
You need a better stereo.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Preferably one not made in China.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
There's nothing wrong with that stereo, you cheeky man.
[Harley]By the way,[/Harley] I was only living in that house for a short period of time before anybody else starts.
[ 22.08.2008, 07:44: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I wouldn't have said Chinese. More, big gay bear.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Was that directed at me?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Me, I think. I'm fairly sure, but my head is in disarray due to lack of sleep and a hangover, so I might be wrong. I'm pretty sure I'm not though. Though.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
The bear comment made me think it was me, but you do look bear-like in your photos, so I'm thinking he's talking to you. The 'gay' part is the clincher.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
fag
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
This coming from a dude who won't post his picture cause he's afraid. Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
why the fucking fuck would I want to post a picture of myself on an internet message board? Why? I'm happy enough to offer facebook friendship thus allowing people to gasp at my physog as and when they need a fix, but you know what? Look at Zygote, that's me, look at Benway, that's me. A chunky bloke with dark hair and a beard. It's not going to win any wars or make china leave tibet should another chunky bloke with a beard posts a picture of himself online.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I meant that Zygote looks like a gay bear. I put the word gay in to distinguish.
Bear
Gay Bears
lolol. Look at those gay bears. I want to chuck their cheeks and say 'come on, off you go and do some bumming, you cheeky scamps' then rub them on the bonces and shake my head.
[ 22.08.2008, 08:19: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
heh. mcdirts is fat. lol.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
fuck off. At least I'm not an alcoholic woodsman.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
no. you're just a fat alcoholic. sad. very sad.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Can you pretend you don't know me here please? So this doesn't descend into being the same as every single other thread I've ever ended up in with you?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Maybe you should take your own advice and not post shit like this you fucking fat alcoholic piece of crap.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: heh. mcdirts is fat. lol.
There's a pretty narrow window of acceptable body shapes in the RalphMind, isn't there?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Misc why isn't your image hosting working?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Not at all. But I don't mince words. Chunky? What the hell is chunky? Let's call a spade a spade for christs sake.
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
You two are, like, so in love with each other.
Mornings at Chez Babb
7:15 - Alarm. Hit snooze 7:25 - Alarm. Hit snooze 7:35 - Alarm. Drag self out of bed 7:40 - First fag of the day 7:45 - Glass of water 7:50 - Shower 8:05 - Dry hair, moisturise face, throw on clothes 8:25 - Second fag of the day and a cup of coffee 8:35 - Pack bag and gym stuff 8:45 - Leave for work
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Misc why isn't your image hosting working?
Looks like the server's down. It's probably Ralph's fault.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Babb: You two are, like, so in love with each other.
It's true. If only we weren't separated by 3,000 miles and an ocean.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: It's probably Ralph's fault.
lol. Fuck off, slim.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Let's call a spade a spade for christs sake.
I thought you were supposed to call them people of colour these days.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: why the fucking fuck would I want to post a picture of myself on an internet message board? Why?
Why not? Is it such a big fucking deal? It's been fairly common practice on TMO over the years and I genuinely cannot understand your anger and exasperation towards doing so. I'm feeling a bit too 'fuzzy' to muster up much of a response here but you appear to be over-reacting somewhat. If you don't like something, try scrolling past it. Not too difficult.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
What I don't understand is that he posts pics of himself on Facebook. If he was so concerned about his identity he would realize that someone could easily lift a copy and post them wherever the fuck they pleased.
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by Babb: You two are, like, so in love with each other.
It's true. If only we weren't separated by 3,000 miles and an ocean.
Love will over come those hurdles, Roland. Hang on in there. He will be yours.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by Babb: 7:40 - First fag of the day
Ergh. I don't have a fag until I'm five minutes away from my office. I have to have been awake for at least an hour and a half or I feel well sick.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: why the fucking fuck would I want to post a picture of myself on an internet message board? Why?
Why not? Is it such a big fucking deal? It's been fairly common practice on TMO over the years and I genuinely cannot understand your anger and exasperation towards doing so. I'm feeling a bit too 'fuzzy' to muster up much of a response here but you appear to be over-reacting somewhat. If you don't like something, try scrolling past it. Not too difficult.
I was over reacting for the sake of it, like using 'fucking fuck' I wouldn't use 'fucking fuck' if I was being serious about something. Obviously the fact that its all written down and I don't really know you guys doesn't really help my cause. Ralph understands. I don't mind looking at pictures of you, or indeed other people. Just don't see the need to put up pictures of myself. Sorry if I called you chunky.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: Ralph understands.
Not really. But whatever, chubby.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
and anyway, the only people who could lift my picture on facebook would be those I'd admitted to the inner circle and I'd soon find out who'd broke the rules and I'd unleash a world of hell on their sorry asses.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I didn't mean to imply that I'd do such a thing. I respect your privacy. I just don't understand it.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: Sorry if I called you chunky.
Well there are clearly no "ifs" about it, because it's there for all to see. Which is fine. And true. And part of the risk involved in posting images of yourself on an internet forum. On the plus side, I have now been given all the encouragement I need to start playing squash again, and for that, I thank thee!
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: I don't have a fag until I'm five minutes away from my office. I have to have been awake for at least an hour and a half or I feel well sick.
I have two before I leave the house. I'm a dirt bag.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Babb: I'm a dirt bag.
lol. yeah Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
Stop LOLing, Roland. I've warned you about that before.
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
quote:If only we weren't separated by 3,000 miles and an ocean.
Yes, but, just think, a short airplane ride and McDirts could be balls deep in your hairy ass by tommorrow.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Babb: I have two before I leave the house. I'm a dirt bag.
First thing I do when I get out of bed is put on my dressing gown and go and have a fag in the garden. I was going to post my routine but every time I start people come and talk to me and I have to minimise and I lose my flow.
I bet ralph has failed at giving up smoking again.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: I bet ralph has failed at giving up smoking again.
Yeah. I'll probably get the cancer someday, but at least I don't own (or wear) a dressing gown.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: First thing I do when I get out of bed is put on my dressing gown and go and have a fag in the garden.
Someone buy this man a smoking jacket, ffs.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
My dressing gown is fucking cool. I've had it since i was 15 and it's been washed so much that it's really worn through so the neighbours probably get a nice view of my penis in the morning.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Go on...
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: I bet ralph has failed at giving up smoking again.
Yeah. I'll probably get the cancer someday, but at least I don't own (or wear) a dressing gown.
You don't own a dressing gown? Everyone owns a dressing gown!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: My dressing gown is fucking cool.
Dear. Lord.
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
I don't.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: You don't own a dressing gown? Everyone owns a dressing gown!
I don't know one man who owns a dressing gown. Must be a British (ghey) thing.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I own a dressing gown. I wear it whilst cooking a lot of the time, therefore it now has little spittles of olive oil on it, which is a shame really.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Imagine my surprise. Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I have one but I wore it once while cutting my hair and now it's a bit too itchy to wear. I've tried washing it several times but it hasn't sorted it out.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Is it paisly, Cherry?
Your dressing gown, not your penis, obvly.
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: You don't own a dressing gown? Everyone owns a dressing gown!
I don't know one man who owns a dressing gown. Must be a British (ghey) thing.
My boyfriend has a dressing gown. I like wearing it because it's about 50 sizes too big for me. I might steal it.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I bet if Prince had a penis it would be paisley.
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
I wear a cape in the morning before I've gotten dressed. Capas are fantastic.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I've got a dressing gown that billows. I like billowing.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Is it paisly, Cherry?
Your dressing gown, not your penis, obvly.
It's striped with vertical Red, Yellow, Green and Blue stripes.
Oddly enough the yellow stripes are the ones that have worn away and are almost completely threadbare while the other ones have maintained their penis covering integrity.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
My penis is so big that I can't get far enough away from it to discern exactly what colour it is.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I am quite thrilled by the thought of that striped dressing gown. How fabulous. I envy it slightly.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I'll take a photo of it later and put it on the internet.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: I'll take a photo of it later and put it on the internet.
Your penis is so big it has its own account on Facebook. It 'added me as a friend' last week.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Oh, yes, do! You could drape it over that tree you keep talking about.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Oh, yes, do! You could drape it over that tree you keep talking about.
I don't remember ever talking about a tree Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by Suckmonster: I wear a cape in the morning before I've gotten dressed. Capas are fantastic.
I want a cape.
My dressing gown is leopard print. It was a Christmas present from my mum years ago, and at first I only kept it because it was a present from my mum but now I love it and never ever want to be without it. Even though it is leopard print.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
My dressing gown has a towelling lining so I can put it on straight out of the shower and it makes me nice and dry.
It's not towelling on the outside, though, that'd be chavvy.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove:
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Oh, yes, do! You could drape it over that tree you keep talking about.
I don't remember ever talking about a tree
It might be a juniper bush?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I would love a leopard print dressing gown. Do they do them for men? They've got to as I'm sure that Rock Stars wear leopard print dressing gowns.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I think we should all take photos of our dressing gowns tonight and post them here.
I am particularly excited by Lilo's leopard print one.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: It might be a juniper bush?
Oh. Perhaps my bay tree? That wouldn't support the weight of a dressing gown.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: It's not towelling on the outside, though, that'd be chavvy.
Mine is 100% towelling material. I'm proud of it, even if H1ppy thinks I'm a chav.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Fucking hell. UK Dressing gown = US robe. Yeah...that's fine then. As you were...
[ 22.08.2008, 11:19: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: Perhaps my bay tree? That wouldn't support the weight of a dressing gown.
Bay tree! That's the thing. You should drape yourseld, in your dressing gown, prvocatively over your bay tree. probably a good idea to conceal the cock before posting the picture, though.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'd like a beautiful white waffle type one, but it would only end up getting ruined. A white dressing gown is probably a terrible idea, like white underpants, but still.
Anyway now I like to prance around in my jockeys, showing off my ink.
[ 22.08.2008, 11:23: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I guess £15 isn't too much
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I am particularly excited by Lilo's leopard print one.
It is really manky. There are mysterious crusty bits all over it. I don't wash it very often. And sometimes I wipe my eye make up off with the belt.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: Anyway now I like to prance around in my jockeys, showing off my ink.
How's that working out BTW?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo:
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I am particularly excited by Lilo's leopard print one.
It is really manky. There are mysterious crusty bits all over it. I don't wash it very often. And sometimes I wipe my eye make up off with the belt.
:dryheave:
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: Anyway now I like to prance around in my jockeys, showing off my ink.
How's that working out BTW?
working out great, I've been bestowed with magical powers.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
My dressing gown is a white waffle one.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: working out great, I've been bestowed with magical powers.
What like?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: It is really manky. There are mysterious crusty bits all over it. I don't wash it very often. And sometimes I wipe my eye make up off with the belt.
I am disappointed and distraught to hear that you have been using your leopard print dressing gown as a target for your crows. It's just not on, Lilo.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: working out great, I've been bestowed with magical powers.
What like?
magic +10
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
On a percentage, how much harder would you say you feel?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
sadly that was at a cost of HP - 3, but what are you going to do?
edit: less hard, with my reduced HP.
[ 22.08.2008, 11:36: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I have booked a squash court for 13-45 tomorrow, and it's all thanks to McDirts.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
He's a good guy, if only you'd all give him a fair go.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
[ 22.08.2008, 11:43: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Well get this for fucking hilarious. My colleagues are all really into getting fit and shit, so they wanted to all do 'the spartan workout' - the same workout that they did for the toned bodies in 300 and do a calendar. I signed up for this and they might have free gym and a personal trainer. So in three months, I might be looking so buff that even dudes asses will quiver near me and Ringo will look like Zygote in comparison.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
what the hell is that?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You should know, ralph you've got a basement full of that sort of thing.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I am disappointed and distraught to hear that you have been using your leopard print dressing gown as a target for your crows. It's just not on, Lilo.
But, that said, I would still like to see a picture of it.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
What? A basement full of pale flabby arms? Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
I was only playing.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: 'the spartan workout'
- 25 pull-ups
- 50 deadlifts at 135 pounds
- 50 push-ups
- 50 box jumps with a 24-inch box
- 50 “floor wipers” (a core and shoulder exercise at 135 pounds)
- 50 “clean and press” at 36-pounds
- 25 more pull-ups
good luck with that one, mickey.
[ 22.08.2008, 11:49: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
hubba hubba Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: 50 deadlifts at 135 pounds
nobody can be expected to deadlift twice their weight 50 times...
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: good luck with that one, mickey.
Yeah, obviously I'd be expected to use less weights, but this is going to result in death, I can tell you.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
even if you skipped the weights, that's a crazy bitch. How many push ups can you do right now?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I reckon I could do 50 push ups.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: even if you skipped the weights, that's a crazy bitch. How many push ups can you do right now?
About 30 and then my arms would drop off. So what....triple how many I can do now?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
ralph - what did you think a dressing gown was that resulted in such scorn?
I have a black toweling one for the cold, a black shiny fabric one with flowers on, which wont stay done up because it is slithery, for when I am feeling slutty. And a jelbab which I got from marrakech for when I am being metrosexual and sophisticated.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
This is my beloved dressing gown
and this is a headless me sporting it (you cannot see my head today, my dog died and it's wrecked havoc on my eyes and nose) - this is a shitty photo anyway because of the light/flash situation.
One of the best things about my dressing gown is how big it is. I can properly wrap myself up in it. Oversized dressing gowns are the only dressing gowns worth having.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Hang on... are you wearing pearls with pyjama bottoms? Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Hang on... are you wearing pearls with pyjama bottoms?
Yes.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Decadent.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
So what was the idea behind that? "Hmm these pyjama bottoms worn at 3 in the afternoon make me look a bit slovenly. I still remember the odd trick or two though! These pearls will give me the formal touch I need to get away with wearing jim-jams to the office".
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Next Week: Using a tiara to give your jogging outfit a touch of class.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Girlfriend giving you grief about slobbing around the house in your vest and pants? Just add a tie for that 'making an effort' effect.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: So what was the idea behind that? "Hmm these pyjama bottoms worn at 3 in the afternoon make me look a bit slovenly. I still remember the odd trick or two though! These pearls will give me the formal touch I need to get away with wearing jim-jams to the office".
My dog died this morning. I was dressed in work clothes at the time. When I came back home, I was a bit of an emotional wreck and managed to drop a glass of juice on my skirt. I went upstairs and put on my jim jam bottoms on as they were the first thing I came across. I couldn't be bothered to take my tshirt, cardigan or necklace off.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Keep getting caught hanging around in the house in your jockeys? Some sock suspenders will give you the sophisticated look you desire.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
ooof, you're fucking cold, Thorn.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Yeah, Thorn. How dare you not know by the power of mind alone that my dog died this morning. You insensitive mong.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: I have a black toweling one for the cold...
I also own a black towelling DeeGee, but I'm thinking of moving upmarket now I've found out it's chavvy. It's also covered in white cat fur, which isn't a terribly good look, I admit. Still, I suppose I only wear it if I'm ill.
ETA: Sorry about your dog, lilo.
[ 22.08.2008, 12:27: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You did mention it before Thorn went all China on your Tibetan ass.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
What?! Chavvy! It is from fucking John Lewis I'll have you know.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: You did mention it before Thorn went all China on your Tibetan ass.
Well, yeah, but he wasn't to know the exact reasons why I had my top half 'work' and bottom half 'unemployed', was he?
Plus, how can you expect a man who leaves dogs on the motorway to care about my poor dead dog, anyway?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: Yeah, Thorn. How dare you not know by the power of mind alone that my dog died this morning. You insensitive mong.
I did think that the pearls / pj thing was probably because of this.
[ 22.08.2008, 12:33: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: You did mention it before Thorn went all China on your Tibetan ass.
Well look at you being all... 'Hey I'll ride the coat-tails of Thorn's joke and... oh... oh Thorn you evil bastard.'
Very sorry to hear about your dog Lilo. FWIW I thought pearls and pyjamas was quite a good look in a 'demented woman at the supermarket' kind of way.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: I did think that the pearls / pj thing was probably because of this.
Right. I see how this is working. This is why you were emailing those comments saying 'Here, post this one up. And this one. Here, and this one' instead of doing it yourself.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I think pearls and pyjamas is about the sexiest look I've ever seen.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'm just trying to score points. I'm that sleazy, turtle neck wearing villain in a romcom who comforts the love interest after the main character accidentally upsets them when a well meaning plan goes horribly wrong. Later on, I'll end up driving my shiny MG into a lake, and then some secretly recorded rant will be played at a public gathering, both exposing me for the evil bastard I am, and revealing just how generous, loving, and warm hearted you really are. In fact, it will be revealed that I'm just trying to get my hands on lilo's money so I can pay my gambling debts, and that actually, I can't stand her or her family or her kookie friend who never liked me anyway.
[ 22.08.2008, 12:40: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Has anyone else just caught themselves trying to work out how attractive Lilo might be, based on a photo of her wearing a leopard skin dressing gown over her work clothes and pyjama bottoms, with her head cut off from the neck up? I'm having difficulty getting a frame of reference.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Yes Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: What?! Chavvy! It is from fucking John Lewis I'll have you know.
Blame H1ppy:
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: My dressing gown has a towelling lining so I can put it on straight out of the shower and it makes me nice and dry.
It's not towelling on the outside, though, that'd be chavvy.
See?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Can you shut up please Thorn.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: ralph - what did you think a dressing gown was that resulted in such scorn?
I assumed it was a cross between a dress and an even fancier dress.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: Can you shut up please Thorn.
Good luck with that.
Again, sorry about your dog. It wasn't Jack, was it?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
No, Ralph. It wasn't Jack. Jack's still alive. But he's very confused by the lack of Angel. He keeps searching the house, then flopping down in front of me, then searching the garden, then flopping down again and repeat repeat repeat.
SAD FACE.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: I assumed it was a cross between a dress and an even fancier dress.
Oh yeah. That would be wierd.
Misc...I thought you meant that black toweling in particular was chavvy. Whereas we all know that it belies a darkly complex character.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
How're you holding up, Lilo?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Sorry to hear about your dog, Lilo..
The dressing gown is astounding!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: You did mention it before Thorn went all China on your Tibetan ass.
Well look at you being all... 'Hey I'll ride the coat-tails of Thorn's joke and... oh... oh Thorn you evil bastard.'
Did it show?
Sorry about your dog, Lilo.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Thanks everyone. We can stop talking about it now, though. It's not a very interesting topic for you all. And wine is making me feel better. Lovely lovely red wine.
So yeah, dressing gowns, eh?
[ 22.08.2008, 16:45: Message edited by: Lilo ]
Posted by MKandy (Member # 790) on :
I'm not a fan of dressing gowns really, the only time i recall wearing one was at a posh hotel i stayed at for a christmas do. Me and a collegue made use of the hotel ones, refraining from wearing any sort of underpants. It was mildly liberating.
At home, i just use a towel should i need to parade around without getting dressed, or my new pyjama pants which are fully ace. They have 'Kapow', 'Blam' and other such words printed all over them.
[ 26.08.2008, 07:18: Message edited by: MKandy ]
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I don't have pyjamas. When I was at university, I used to be quite jealous of my housemate's crisp grey M&S jammies, complete with a red trim and a crest on the pocket. In the midst of that hell, striding confidently downstairs in clean, ironed pj's was the equivalent of sipping malt whiskey and reading wordsworth while your imperial jungle settlement was being overrun and destroyed by drug crazed natives. Defiantly retaining dignity and Britishness as the chaos swallows all.
[ 26.08.2008, 08:32: Message edited by: Kanye West ]
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I'd mentioned that before haven't I.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
sorry
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You should read the 'Band Gary Gliter from uk!' group on Facebook. It's the virtual equivalent of a howling mob.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: You should read the 'Band Gary Gliter from uk!' group on Facebook. It's the virtual equivalent of a howling mob.
This is harsh. Sure Leader of the Gang wasn't the best song ever, but if Paul McCartney can be forgiven for Mull of Kintyre, I don't see any problem with Glitter coming back.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I don't know if I should read that.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I lied a bit there, it's only got a few posts, but the suggestions so far are that someone would bite off his nose and put the bloodied tip into his bottom and another suggests we should forcefully tattoo him with the info that he's a paedophile and that he's inviting us to kill him because of it.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kanye West: I don't know if I should read that.
Why not?
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
It doesn't sound very entertaining. It sounds like it I would scroll through it, sigh, and feel sad about the world.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
Although that's not stopping me now.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
hey I had a shave! look Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I thought you might like it or something.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kanye West: hey I had a shave! look
nice
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I don't know. It doesn't sound like the kind of thing I like.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Has anyone else just caught themselves trying to work out how attractive Lilo might be, based on a photo of her wearing a leopard skin dressing gown over her work clothes and pyjama bottoms, with her head cut off from the neck up? I'm having difficulty getting a frame of reference.
she's following my lead by keeping an air of sexy mystery.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kanye West: hey I had a shave! look
I scrolled through it, sighed, and felt sad about the world.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
that's the spirit.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Ever thought about growing a beard, Benway?
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
that was taken outside of frightfest. I didn't go to the event, but I was in the area yesterday because I was going to see a film at the Prince Charles. The film was My Winnipeg. It was good.
Shortly after that picture was taken, I saw Derren Brown AND Kim Newman at the same time, although not with each other. I once talked to Derren Brown. We shook hands, I gave him a thing. He didn't try any funny business. Kim Newman though I seem to see at least once a month. He lives the same life as me I think, as he's always there. Seen him in pubs, on buses, and at events.
[ 26.08.2008, 09:45: Message edited by: Kanye West ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
lol
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Hey ralph. You'd be really interested in the link I'm about to post, apart from the fact you're not able to view it at work so if you're still on dial-up at home it might be no interest at all.
Anyway. here is some guys Youtube page where he's put together shit loads of videos of Kansas live. Some of them are really good.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Cheers meight. I can see these at work. Thanks!
eta: A bunch of those are from an MTV concert they did back in '82. Man. 1982. Before Ringo was even born...
[ 26.08.2008, 09:54: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
But not before I was concieved..
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
maybe you were conceived during that performance...
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
time to go and get a sandwich.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: maybe you were conceived during that performance...
Not if it was performed in 1982, dude
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Being as his birthday's the 26th of August and all.
Unless he was very premature (cue jokes here).
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I guess I don't know how old Ringo is then. Ha ha. Let's mock ralph.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I never got that sandwich, guys.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
You must be feeling a bit peckish now. You won't be productive if you don't eat lunch.
Although, I was really productive before lunch, then I had a ham and mushroom slice and a prawn cocktail ciabatta from Forfars and have been really unproductive since and really just wanted a nap.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
I've eaten some grapes and two bananas.
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
but still, I'm hungry, and the danger is if I do decide to go to the cinema, that I'll end up eating a burger or something on the way.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I'm considering bunking off home. I had a brief spurt of productivity this morning and I'm thinking enough is enough.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I'm flicking the occasional cranberry and yoghurt-coated-cranberry into my mouth. Then I'm chewing, swallowing and digesting them. It's been a reasonably enjoyable process so far.
After performing some elementary testing, I've found the best mix to be four non-coated cranberries to each coated one.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Did yoghurt always taste this much like white chocolate, or does the humble cranberry hide a miracle fruit like secret power?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
I'm not being very productive today. And I've had lunch. I had bagels with seeds and houmous. I'm cock watching. I can see into the rooms on the third floor of the Covent Garden Hotel from my office, you see. This time last year, when I started here, there was a guest we christened Cock Man because he liked to walk around his room naked with the blinds up, fondling his tackle. And he's back! Exactly one year later! Walking around his hotel room naked! Fondling his tackle! So yeah, I'm not being very productive today.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
That explains your facebook status. I wasn't sure I wanted to know...
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
I've missed Cock Man.
The best bit last year was when he was having a particularly heated telephone conversation, naked, and he got so angry he started hitting a chair. It was mesmerizing.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: The best bit last year was when he was having a particularly heated telephone conversation, naked, and he got so angry he started hitting a chair. It was mesmerizing.
Awesome! Did little cock man get 'angry' too?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
There was some semi action...
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
he should get himself a good dressing gown
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: he should get himself a good dressing gown
He has one! He just doesn't do it up. On the odd occasion he wears it, that is. Mostly he's just naked.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
he's so jazz
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
It's like a porno version of a spy film. Jumping Jack Gash.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
James Wand
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
x
[ 26.08.2008, 11:51: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Ralph what did you say?
Here's a photo of him in his dressing gown. It isn't a very good photo because a) he's wearing a dressing gown and b) I was trying to be sly so he didn't see me taking a photo of him and c) I don't want to be arrested for being a peeping tom, or something.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
nothing
You are a peeping tom, lilo. You sicken me.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
is that benway?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I reckon.
Probably on the phone to Jonesy.
[ 26.08.2008, 11:59: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Jonesy saying "she's seen you - it's on TMO now. This is worse than the 'I am not...' debacle."
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: You are a peeping tom, lilo. You sicken me.
He's putting himself in the public domain! I'm pretty sure I'm doing nothing wrong here.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I'm pretty sure you are.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: You are a peeping tom, lilo. You sicken me.
He's putting himself in the public domain!
Actually, Lilo, you're putting him in the public domain. You filthy cockwatcher you.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart:
Is it a winkie?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:He's putting himself in the public domain!
Actually, Lilo, you're putting him in the public domain. You filthy cockwatcher you. [/QB]
Pfft. It's his own fault for being such an exhibitionist.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
So you don't mind if I make a facebook group: 'The dude in this hotel opposite of someone online is naked like that skit in friends'
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lilo: Pfft. It's his own fault for being such an exhibitionist.
Maybe. And I could understand if you took a glance or two and left it at that. But you're stalking the guy and posting his picture on the internet. Why can't you see that it's wrong?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
We need to be encouraging Lilo, really.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Shut up, Ralph.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Just kidding Lilo. You should totally have a few drinks with the guy. I bet he'd get a kick out of all this.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I thought you'd be pro stalking, ralph.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
What's that supposed to mean, DoWNs?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I bet he'd get a kick out of all this.
I have never been flashed by any other guest. And I see plenty of other guests. If he doesn't want his cock being seen by people he shouldn't wave it about in windows. And anyway, I purposely didn't post a photo of his cock.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: What's that supposed to mean, DoWNs?
I think you'd get a kick out of stalking people.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I don't think he cares if you see his cock or not.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: What's that supposed to mean, DoWNs?
I think you'd get a kick out of stalking people.
Why do you think that? What have I ever posted that would give you that impression? As if I even have that much free time anymore...
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Because I was told you've stalked people.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Lies.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Why would anyone lie about that?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I don't know their motivation.
Why would someone tell me you were gay?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Wishful thinking.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
You have experimented with Stalking in the past though, haven't you? I mean we've all done a bit of minor stalking in the past haven't we? If we hadn't we'd probably also not be the sort who sit posting on internet message boards day in, day out.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
.
[ 27.08.2008, 08:46: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
stop stalking me, weirdo.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
.
[ 27.08.2008, 08:46: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Have you been watching me? Through my monitor? brrr. This is getting a bit weird now Ralph. If, indeed that actually is your real name. I've got my suspicions.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
.
[ 27.08.2008, 08:46: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
No. This site is my chance to turn a new corner. It's not going to be another place where I swap useless bits of shit banter with you. Kindly walk away and let some of the other posters make some reasoned and lucid comments about keeping their shit locked down tight yo.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
.
[ 27.08.2008, 08:45: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
that's a cheap stunt, you fag loser.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
.
[ 27.08.2008, 08:55: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
WHERE BOBO?
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
ah yeah, this is the meat right here. This is the real shit. This is what I signed up for, the cut and thrust of insightful comment and fresh debate.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
If you like Barbelith so much, why don't you go live there?
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
where Barbelith?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
[ 27.08.2008, 12:24: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Jesus Christ.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
just when I'm on the vinegar strokes you have to bring HIM into it.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: No. This site is my chance to turn a new corner.
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: just when I'm on the vinegar strokes you have to bring HIM into it.
:shakehead
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: just when I'm on the vinegar strokes you have to bring HIM into it.
Vinegar strokes?
[ 29.08.2008, 09:34: Message edited by: Babb ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Urban Dictionary: the pre-orgasmal point of no return for men during the sexual act, where failing to blurt your mess will result in blue balls
lol
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
I'd like to be a man for a day. Needless to say I'd do nothing but wank.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
yeah. because that's all we do. Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote:Urban Dictionary: the pre-orgasmal point of no return for men during the sexual act, where failing to blurt your mess will result in blue balls
I thought is was just after you have come, and are just squeezing the last bit out, while pulling a strange face (as if drinking vinegar)?
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: yeah. because that's all we do.
No, because that's what I would do. Because I've never had a man-wank, so I'd want to try it lots.
You need to ditch the persecution complex, Roy.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I misunderstood you. I'm sorry. Yeah, if I could be a woman for one day I'd probably be a bit of a whore.
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
[Roy] Are you implying all women are whores?[/Roy]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
In the same way you were implying that men are nothing but wank-machines.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
In the way that Roy clearly wants to know what it feels like to be penetrated, the massive Hom.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: No. This site is my chance to turn a new corner. It's not going to be another place where I swap useless bits of shit banter with you. Kindly walk away and let some of the other posters make some reasoned and lucid comments about keeping their shit locked down tight yo.
idiot
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
hey, you were the one who said if he was a woman he'd be a bit of a whore. What other conclusions are there to be drawn? You want it up you, nothing wrong with that if that's what does the job for ol' Ralphy over there.
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
Who are you talking to?
And why do you keep adding 'yo' on to the end of your sentences?
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
I'm talking to Ralph yo. He wants his shit packed up tight.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
He was talking to me. Yet he keeps making snide remarks wherever I go. I think he might be stalking me. No idea why he keeps saying yo. I think he's trying (and failing) to endear himself to the good people here at tmo. Weak.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
Hi team. Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I think if there was a vote between who should stay out of ralph and McDirts, McDirts would win by a landslide so he's doing alrigh.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
In your face Ralph, you stupidhead. You're lame here, you're lame there. See? Sucking ass doesn't work, you've got to keep shit real yo. Motherfuckers can tell if your shits not for real.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I like McDirts and Lilo. Also, according to Facebook, Babb is a hott chick, which is fine by me also.
By contrast, Ralph is a middle aged man with a beard who lives in the woods. I don't think our lives are really comparable.
Sorry Ralph, them's the breaks.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
PWND!!11!!! OMFG!!111!!!! FOLR!!!11!!
RALPH U R SO FCKNG LAME. TRUE.!!11
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Poor Ralph.
But yay me!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm going to vote we keep McDirts because 'shit packed up tight' made me lol in an open office of 40 plus people.
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
AND THAT'S FO SHIZZLE YO.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I never suggested that McDirts should leave. Hell, I invited him here. I'm a little hurt by the anti-ralph sentiment though.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: I think if there was a vote between who should stay out of ralph and McDirts, McDirts would win by a landslide so he's doing alrigh.
Is there, in your opinion CiH, anyone that I would defeat in a similar vote?
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
At least you still have your 'day', eh Ralph?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
heh. No. It was only celebrated once. And by celebrated I mean not celebrated.
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
That's not what you say on the other place.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I know. I lied to make McDirts jealous. Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
Oh dear, Ralph.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
This was the only good thing to come out of ralph day. Thanks, Misc.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
You should see what I'm planning for next RalphDay!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
You missed it. It was in January, 2008. But nobody cared. Posted by MKandy (Member # 790) on :
What was this thread about? I forget.
Incidentally, I believe most men are wank machines, though not taking an opportunity to wank purely because they're thinking of sex, but because wanking relieves boredom for a bit.
Maybe i'm wrong though, and i should stop wanking so much... starting now .
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby:
quote:Urban Dictionary: the pre-orgasmal point of no return for men during the sexual act, where failing to blurt your mess will result in blue balls
I thought is was just after you have come, and are just squeezing the last bit out, while pulling a strange face (as if drinking vinegar)?
I thought it was because douching with vinegar used to be a method of contraception in Ye Olden Days?
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
I'm going with the first definition, but whatever it is, hey, it sounds good when dropped in conversation.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I think we need to reach some kind of consensus. Using this phrase inappropriately could prove highly embarrassing. Vote now!
Also here is a fun riddle...
...if my laptop is running really slowly, and it is not full, it does not need defragmenting and there are no overt signs of virus, what is it?
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
You need a new laptop?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: I think we need to reach some kind of consensus. Using this phrase inappropriately could prove highly embarrassing. Vote now!
Also here is a fun riddle...
...if my laptop is running really slowly, and it is not full, it does not need defragmenting and there are no overt signs of virus, what is it?
Vinegar Strokes is exactly that, the last strokes where orgasm produces faces akin to drinking vinegar. See also Jester's Shoes: the point of orgasm where the toes curl up.
2nd: could be any fucking thing.
Posted by MKandy (Member # 790) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Also here is a fun riddle...
...if my laptop is running really slowly, and it is not full, it does not need defragmenting and there are no overt signs of virus, what is it?
ctrl + alt + delete, open task manager, go to 'processes' and have a look at what processes are using your cpu the most
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Also, according to Facebook, Babb is a hott chick, which is fine by me also.
Really? Where on earth on Facebook does it say that?
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by MKandy: What was this thread about? I forget.
Incidentally, I believe most men are wank machines, though not taking an opportunity to wank purely because they're thinking of sex, but because wanking relieves boredom for a bit.
Maybe i'm wrong though, and i should stop wanking so much... starting now .
Girls wank out of boredom too, you know. And to get to sleep.
[ 01.09.2008, 09:39: Message edited by: Babb ]
Posted by MKandy (Member # 790) on :
For some reason I don't associate wanking with women, probably because the hand gesture used to single out a wanker doesn't really fit with how women masturbate, unless i'm really mistaken, in which case i might have to try it that way some day.
However, if i'm right, I think women frig themselves to get to sleep.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by Babb:
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Also, according to Facebook, Babb is a hott chick, which is fine by me also.
Really? Where on earth on Facebook does it say that?
I couldn't possibly qualify this statement without sounding like some kind of Ralphesque stalker. So I won't.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I couldn't possibly qualify this statement without sounding like some kind of Ralphesque stalker. So I won't.
But... From ralph's list of friends, it was fairly obvious who Babb was. And there is a photo.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
That's not Babb! That's Elizabeth Babbin, who I used to work with in New York City. Babb is no longer in my Facebook friends list. She culled me some time ago. Or I culled her. I can't remember anymore.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: That's Elizabeth Babbin, who I used to work with in New York City.
Fuck her? Any good?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
No. I didn't have sexual relations with that woman.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
That's a very deliberately phrased response. What happened?
Posted by Babb (Member # 8266) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: She culled me some time ago. Or I culled her. I can't remember anymore.
I culled you. You re-added me. You culled me. You begged me to take you back. I refused to take you back. You begged me some more. I ignored you.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Sorry to reopen old wounds there.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: That's a very deliberately phrased response. What happened?
I was quoting Bill Clinton actually. Nothing happened. I never saw her as anything more than a co-worker.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Babb:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: She culled me some time ago. Or I culled her. I can't remember anymore.
I culled you. You re-added me. You culled me. You begged me to take you back. I refused to take you back. You begged me some more. I ignored you.
Yeah...that sounds about right. Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Sorry to reopen old wounds there.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Just kidding of course, Ringo. And sorry to hear you were ill. Hope you're better now.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I'm ok today, better than I was. I've spent the past two days in bed with some kind of horrendous virus or something. I'm still not in work today but at least I'm out of bed and able to do something other than alternate between MTV and LEGO Indiana Jones.
The worst thing is that my parents are away so I've been ill all by myself with nobody to make me food or drinks or anything. Horrible.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
It's tough living alone. Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
You're living with your parents still..? What are you, Italian or something?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
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