This is topic In my Wallet in forum Life at TMO Talk.


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Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
I've got
£90
$73
84 Euros
a cheque for £121 from my mum.
This clearly marks me out as an international player, able to drop anything and go and look after business abroad at a moments notice.
It also marks me out as the sort of guy who can afford to pay his mum's phone bill as well as his own, but the sort of guy who ain't lettin' no ho' get one over on him by ensuring she pays him back every quarter yo.
I've also got a Boots loyalty card, which I'm building up and building up without spending because one day I may need that shit and then I'll have Right Guard and Polytar locked down tight despite having no visible means of income. Sweet.

What does your wallet say about you?
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
You wanna get those Boots points spent before they go out of business.

I don't know what my wallet says about me but here is a list of its contents:


[ 23.02.2009, 09:38: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
 
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
 
£18.37
30 Euros
Visa card
Nectar card
Library card
Wellness Health & Fitness card
Benefit VIP customer card
Seven old train tickets to London Terminals
Konaki Greek Restaurant receipt (£62)
Body Shop receipt (£24)
Argos receipt (£92)
De Hems receipt (£17)
Five Oyster top-up receipts (£40 in total)
Topshop receipt (£35)
A business card for someone I don't remember meeting but he works for a print company on Great Portland Street
The Dark Knight cinema ticket stub
GAME receipt (£22)
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
so you've got Euros as well as pounds in your wallet. That marks you out as an international player as well. Well done Lilo.
 
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
 
£5 note
A little note from a young child
Picture of a young child
Nandos Loyalty card with two stamps in
Nationwide Gold Card
MBNA Credit Card
National Insurance Card
Barclays Visa
Barclays Business Visa
Nationwide Visa
Membership card to a skatepark
Receipt from a local pub for £3.45

This is all in a koyono slimmy wallet.

What does this say about me?
Well I'm either a peodo or a father, I have eaten at Nandos twice, I don't carry much money around with me and I think it's perfectly acceptable to buy one drink down the pub with my card. I have too many credit cards, I'm in debt. I'm probably having a mid life crisis.

[ 23.02.2009, 10:02: Message edited by: Tilde ]
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
What on earth are these 'euros' to which you attach so much import? Must be something like an 'oyster' card, I assume.

[ 23.02.2009, 10:02: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
buying ONE drink with a card.

I hate that.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
What on earth are these 'euros' to which you attach so much import? Must be something like an 'oyster' card, I assume.
FOREIGN CURRENCY, IN YOUR WALLET. mARKS YOU OUT AS A PLAYER.
 
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
 
Sooner they abolish cash the better.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
people like you hold up the drinks at the bar, tippy tappying your number into a machine and then waiting for the 'other side' to respond and 'accept' your transaction. Meanwhile decent, hard cash paying players like me, wait thirstily for our turn to be served and fume at the student holding everythin up
"£3.05pee for a pint? Do you accept cheques?"
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by McDirts:
FOREIGN CURRENCY, IN YOUR WALLET. mARKS YOU OUT AS A PLAYER.
I didn't know you trod the boards, McD.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
no dude. A player. Not a player.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
The kind with commitment issues?
 
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
£0.67, Switch card, credit card, gym membership card, oystercard (bent), fake student ID for going snowboarding in Milton Keynes on the cheap, soup-shop loyalty card, scuba-diving qualification ID, pink post-it note with a picture of 'cyril the jump-gerbil' thanking me for attending a party, business card for Phoebee the body-piercer, business card for Graham the microscope engineer from Zeiss, a Jehovah's witness leaflet, train ticket from Innsbruck to Salzburg, train tickets to and from Ely.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
nope. A player on the international business stage. That kind of player. Not a player.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by McDirts:
nope. A player on the international business stage. That kind of player. Not a player.
Our language is woefully inadequate isn't it?

So what business is it that urine?
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
toys mainly.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
As in Я Us? Or the real-feel kind?
 
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
 
I've just started reading PopCo, McDirts. Have you read PopCo? Is your job like PopCo?
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
no, it's not like Popco, which I just wiki'd to find out whether it was like popco.
Mu job involves advertising toys to kids. Although Misc, I have done 'real feel' plushes with that.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
Sick.

Have you heard about *this toy? Apparently it trains kids to use the Force.
 
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
 
I should start using a wallet. I've got a rather elegant Swaine Adeney Brigg one, but don't like using it, or any wallet for that matter, but, equally, I've lost too many notes whilst taking a balled up collection of money and receipts from my pocket.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
I only started using a wallet about 3 years ago after a friend gave me one as a present for being his Best Man.
I love it. It's one of the main things behind me becoming a player.
 
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
 
What kind of wallet is it?
Bet it's not a proper playa' wallet, like mine.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
Brown leather Claiborne. old school, no hatin'.
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
You're not in the game til you have this one.

-
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
Notice I didn't specify which game. This was intentional.
 
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
 
Dirto, I doubt your player credentials.
How many bottles of Cristal have you chillin' in your obnoxiously-large fridge? How many pimped-out rides you got in your garage, mothertrucker?
 
Posted by Lilo (Member # 8247) on :
 
is that a...streaky bacon pattern?
 
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
 
I crave a bacon sandwich, just now. With butter. And ridiculously too much crisply-fried streaky bacon.
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 

that's it
 
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
 
My wallet has been swallowed whole and shat out empty by the Ford CooKey Monster.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
There's a guy at the office who still can't help showing off his Pulp Fiction wallet every time he pays for something.
-

I guess when asseenonscreen first started out it might've seemed sort of 'cool', even if a decade out of date. Then he bought some 'Morpheus' shades, etc...

I like to imagine the wallet was a present from his mum.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Deep Freeze:
these give you a Player Rating of 15% the rest just detracts.
 
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
 

Wow, thats a lot of shit. Do I get international points for the Zambian Kwacha? I did have a 100 billion dollar Zimbabwe bank note but I gave it to a friend to take to Denmark.
 
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 

 
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 

Today I have nothing in my wallet which isn't a card.
 
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
In your wallet?
 
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:

Worst card ever.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
I've got more stuff than I initially said in my wallet, I just concentrated on the stuff that made me a Player.
Friend of the Tate membership doesn't make me a player, nor does a Sunday Times wine Club handy credit card sized vintage guide.
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
So, wallet inventory:


Hmph. Not as exciting as I might have hoped...
 
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by squeegy:
quote:
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
  • Spare duct tape
In your wallet?
Yeah. It's not on a roll or anything. It's just a small square about and inch and a half by two inches.
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 
Why do you carry a small square of duct tape in your wallet? Have you ever needed a small square of duct tape?
 
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
 
You all must be selectively leaving stuff out, right? My wallet is stuffed w/crap:

7 credit cards (three personal, four business)
2 personal ATM cards
1 biz ATM card
driver's license
random receipts
a winning lottery ticket ($2)
the same insurance cards and BJs membership froop has
business cards for:
my landlord, a hairstylist (or two or three), my chiropractor, a cleaning service, and the local police (from when my studio was vandalized)
a handful of doctor's appointment reminder cards (for me and the girls)
my law school alumni card
old overnight postage tracking forms
 
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
I haven't but does that mean people who haven't had a flat tyre should get rid of theirs from the boot of their car?
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
I haven't but does that mean people who haven't had a flat tyre should get rid of theirs from the boot of their car?
No...I was just looking for a McGyveresque story of a time in the past where you needed a small piece of duct tape...
 
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
Sorry, my wallet is a Ducti that I bought about 5 years after Benway bought his. ie: when they were cool, so no spy like duct tape stories.
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
I am quite the trend setter.
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
hang on, it wasn't 'trend setter' was it.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
I've also got my oyster card, drivers license, Gala Casino membership card, mastercard, assorted receipts and various nub ends.
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by rooster:
You all must be selectively leaving stuff out, right?
No, in my case I listed the entire contents. I had a few receipts in there also a few days ago but pulled them out do file expense reports yesterday.

All except one.

-
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
"THANKYOU FOR COMING" eh? LOL, there's a joke there, right? right? eh?
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 
$25 for a lap dance? You were robbed.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
no he wasn't. Fag.
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 
we'll just have to agree to disagree. and no need to bring sexual orientation into the argument.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
How much do you pay the town bike to writhe around on your lap once the much younger wife and kids are in bed then, Ralph?
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 


[ 24.02.2009, 13:48: Message edited by: ralph ]
 
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
 
Smile Visa debit card
Amex Blue card, which is transparent and looks coll
Egg Visa card
Citi Platimun Visa card
Driving Licence
Business card from Drayton Tyres and Exhausts
One Day Travelcard dated 04.08.08
AA membership card
Barclaycard Cashback Mastercard
Oyster Card
Nectar Card
NI Card
Business Card from Le Touquet restaurant "Bleu, Blanc, Mer"
Piece of paper with some security codes on it. Cannot recall what they are for.
Assorted receipts from Tesco, Sainsbury's and Waitrose. From the past month or so
Small passport photo of Nightowl
£12.03
15 Danish Kroner
1 completely useless Austrian Schilling

[ 25.02.2009, 05:01: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Samuelnorton:

Piece of paper with some security codes on it. Cannot recall what they are for.
You should post them here. I remember reading that crowdsourcing was once supposed to be one of the great promises of the interweb. Perhaps this is the time to find out.
 
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
 
Yes. Do that.
 
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
 
102552/ZH7HVDWS

Come to think of it I think it might have been a consignment number for a parcel I sent back in 2008 sometime.

Or the deactivation code for that Uzbekistani nuclear warhead that has been sitting like a rather large paperweight at the back of the garden shed.

lol.
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
I'm sure it's just a harmless game code.

-
 
Posted by Keef (Member # 27) on :
 

Hmmm... more than I thought.
 
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
 
For 'wallet', read 'handbag' - I have one of those ones with slots for credit cards and so on so I don't have a separate wallet, I have the following, complete and uncensored, items:

Outer zip pocket:
Two tickets for Ross Noble on Sunday
£10 M&S voucher inexplicably sent by credit card company as some sort of loyalty bonus.
Boots discount voucher
Silver purse with £7.13 in change
Lime & orange Tictacs

Inside flap pocket:
£215 in notes
Hairdresser appointment card
Receipt for watch left with jewellers for new battery

Inside credit card bit:
Lloyds TSB cashpoint card
American Express credit card
Barclaycard Cashback credit card
AA membership card
Boots Advantage card
David Lloyd membership card
Nectar card
Matalan membership card (*shame*)
National Trust membership card (not so much old skool as just old)

In zip pocket:
Sheet of 16 1st class stamps left from Christmas
cards, folded
Ski Club of Great Britain membership card
LiveNation LiveCard membership card
Bristol Library card
Blockbuster membership card
John Lewis card
8Gb USB stick

In flap pocket:
Mirror
Half an emery board

In main section:
Bunch of keys
Small Bodyshop hairbrush
Ventolin inhaler
Lip gloss tube
ExtraIce spearmint mints tin
Vaseline Rose Lip Therapy tin
Avon lip gloss (Rhinestone Rose)
Concealer pot
Gaviscon Cool tablets mini-tub
Pocket tissues pack
Scrap of paper with shopping list for tonight

In concealed zip pocket at back of main section:
2 green Tampax tampons
Strip of 6 ranitidine tables (generic)
Strip with 5 remaining hayfever tablets (generic)
Strip with 8 paracetomol tablets (generic)

all of this is in a handbag approx 16cm x 16cm x 8cm.
 
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
 
Most muggable forumite so far.
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by H1ppychick:
all of this is in a handbag approx 16cm x 16cm x 8cm.
That's one very dense handbag. Does it generate its own gravitational field?
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
I think all matter generates a gravitational field, but a handbag would have to be incredibly dense in order for it to be demonstrable this close to the gravitational pull of Earth itself. In fact, I'm not sure that an object this close to Earth could ever have a gravitational pull of its own.

[ 25.02.2009, 09:46: Message edited by: Deep Freeze ]
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
-

Steve, earlier today
 
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
 
My god, he's fucking huge.
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
I think that the man is standing in front of a picture. In reality nobody is bigger or even the same size as the two largest gas giants.

[ 25.02.2009, 10:01: Message edited by: Deep Freeze ]
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
I mean that would be ridiculous. Jupiter and Saturn are not that close to each other.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
SNorton, why do you carry your NI card around?
 
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
 
Right. Because that would mean he was actually in outer space, which no amount of casual corduroy jacketwear could protect him from.

My mistake.
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
if he was that big, he might have his own protective atmosphere, and yes froopy, his own gravitational field.

[ 25.02.2009, 10:03: Message edited by: Deep Freeze ]
 
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
 
I carry my NI card around as well, but I'm not sure why. I think it's a hangover from carrying my Spanish ID card around everywhere.

I've taken it out now.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
I haven't carried my NI card since I got it. I just memorised it and threw it in a drawer, cos that's how Players roll.
For ID I quite like having my Drivers License card. It's quite useful in banks and that.
 
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
 
I had a lot of hangovers in Spain, you see.
 
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
 
I took my ni card out, in a wallet slimming exercise, but then, found that being self employed I needed it now and again so put it back in.

grate post theyre 2/10
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
I don't carry a wallet. Stuffed into my pockets in the manner of a schoolchild, however, is

Amazon Mastercard
Lloyds Visa card
Telephone
Some keys

That's it. No money, no other membership cards, nothing. Like Jack Reacher I live off The Grid (except for the cards, and the phone).
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Deep Freeze:
if he was that big, he might have his own protective atmosphere, and yes froopy, his own gravitational field.
We could test this theory by dropping objects in Michael Moore's vicinity and observing their trajectories. You know, because's he's rather like a gas giant.
 
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by froopyscot:
quote:
Originally posted by Deep Freeze:
if he was that big, he might have his own protective atmosphere, and yes froopy, his own gravitational field.
We could test this theory by dropping objects in Michael Moore's vicinity and observing their trajectories. You know, because's he's rather like a gas giant.
It's worth bearing in mind that the area around Jupiter is subject to enormous amounts of electromagnetic radiation. Probably more than even a giant, Unicron-sized human being would be able to stand.

It's also highly unlikely that a human would be able to sustain an atmosphere, no matter how large, as the gravitational pull of a human would be much lower than that of a comparably sized planet, or even a much smaller planet with an iron core such as Earth.
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
That's not my minimum load out, mind. Sometimes it's just the Visa card and the keys. Lo-fi stealth, like a ninja. If I'm going to London, I'll add an Oyster card to the mix. It's a versatile system. Each loadout precisely tailored to the missions I'm leaving the house to accomplish.
 
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
 
O noes! My handbag has just collapsed into a black hole!
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
Someone needs to come out with a line of Black Hole™ Handbags.

Even better, as a gimmick you could position sales teams on street corners in major cities. Every salesperson would be seated in a wheelchair, Hawking them.
 
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
 
eyethankewe, we'll be here all week...try the veal...
 
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
 
Thorn is like the very antithesis of Hippy. He is the anti-matter to her gravitationally miraculous bag.

As for me (wallet/purse only):
Coins, including random cents (US and euro)
Boots advantage card
Capital One credit card (zebra pattern)
Lloyds debit card
HSBC debit card
Post-it with telephone number on it
Borders reward card only valid in US. Useful
Curry restaurant reward card
Two BiTE discount cards - 20% off food at railway stations
Cafe Nero reward card
Three Leon reward cards
Clarins reward card
HSBC internet access number thing
Lloyds internet access number thing
Neals Yard acupuncture appointment card from two years ago
Card about a carpet
National Trust membership card
South Bank membership card
 
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by McDirts:
SNorton, why do you carry your NI card around?
Like some others on here, there's no particular reason. When I was working in Zürich there were plenty of forms I had to fill in, some of which required a myriad of otherwise pointless details - NI number, name of the gnome at the end of the garden, etc.

I think the NI card has remained in my wallet since then, along with the Austrian Schilling which became useless in early 2002.
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
So, Thorn, are you out of work again, or what?
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
No, that was lie spewed out of Dr Benway's fat, lying mouth.
 
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
 
Because you'll need your NI number if you're looking for a new job.
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Black Mask:
So, Thorn, are you out of work again, or what?
Oh, good.

That was a bit of a ******* lie to tell, wasn't it? I didn't get a wink, last night.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
CAN NO ONE JUST REMEMBER THEIR ni NUMBER? tHEY'RE GOING TO NEED IT all their lives, best to commit it to memory.
(sorry about the caps lock unpleasantness)
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
Yeah, McDirst, it's too bad TMO doesn't have an 'edit' function. [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 
Or that your keyboard doesn't have a backspace key...
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by McDirts:
CAN NO ONE JUST REMEMBER THEIR ni NUMBER? tHEY'RE GOING TO NEED IT all their lives, best to commit it to memory.
(sorry about the caps lock unpleasantness)
It's like nine digits long, with letters and numbers! Who the hell can remember that?
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
I remember mine. Piece of piss.
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
fucking hell, herbs is hitting the rewards. That's brand motherfucking loyalty right there.
 
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 
Wallet fans will be excited to learn that I've just done a bit more investigating and I've discovered some petrol receipts in a seldom-used compartment of my wallet. Both dated August 2008
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by froopyscot:
Yeah, McDirst, it's too bad TMO doesn't have an 'edit' function. [Roll Eyes]
I can't be bothered to edit. Players don't roll like that.
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by McDirts:
Players don't roll like that.
I don't think they refer to themselves as players either...
 
Posted by Deep Freeze (Member # 841) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Black Mask:
quote:
Originally posted by Black Mask:
So, Thorn, are you out of work again, or what?
Oh, good.

That was a bit of a ******* lie to tell, wasn't it? I didn't get a wink, last night.
hey, blame Cherry. He told me.
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Deep Freeze:
fucking hell, herbs is hitting the rewards. That's brand motherfucking loyalty right there.
Back in 2003 Deep Freeze went to see Michael Moore giving a sermon, and chopped up his Nectar card and put it in a bin bag that a helper was carrying round and he shouted 'I am not loyal to BT, I am loyal to me'. Most TMO posters have probably only ever seen Michael Moore in the cinema or - even worse - on TV. Deep Freeze went to see him in person.
 
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
 
I feel that by having so many reward/loyalty cards it shows that I am in fact loyal to no one company, but take advantage of The Man for myself. Cunning, eh.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
*Bags for life
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
There's something really queasy about the details that are left out of that story.

quote:
He appealed for the mother to come forward so that she could receive appropriate medical attention.

"We may be looking at heavy blood loss and the sooner we can locate her the sooner she can get medical help," he said.

Exactly what is it about the situation that makes them think the mother's bleeding? And then it just creates a horrible series of imaginings that led to the baby being abandoned while its dying mother disappears somewhere, somehow.

[ 25.02.2009, 12:55: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
 
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
Exactly what is it about the situation that makes them think the mother's bleeding? And then it just creates a horrible series of imaginings that led to the baby being abandoned while its dying mother disappears somewhere, somehow.
Octavia, if Thorn is going to be present at the birth you might want to warn him there's going to be some things that will make him queasy.
 
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
Right, my 'joke' seems to have backfired into a magnificent Stevie. Sorry Thorn.
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
Don't be fooled. When babies are born, it's a sterile environment, absolutely clean, like a spring morning. You should probably dress all in white, just to complete the effect.
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
Women in labour make a fantastic noise when you lash them.
 
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
 
Don't listen to froopy, Thorn. It's a bloody mess. If I know you (and I think I do) you'll pass out long before the placenta comes along...
 
Posted by Kanye West (Member # 837) on :
 
I once went to a Michael Moore thing that ended with him cutting up loyalty cards on stage. It was a bit chilling.
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
Octavia, if Thorn is going to be present at the birth you might want to warn him there's going to be some things that will make him queasy.
Right. Now I'm with you. I didn't really read the BBC link, only the Yahoo! edition of the story which didn't mention that the baby was only a day old. I'd assumed the baby had been delivered in a hospital, taken home, nursed for a bit, and then some horrible series of events had taken place that involved the mother being wounded, trying to get her baby out of harm's way to the best she could, before being hauled off to her death. That kind of thing does happen. Like with Moses for example, and... er... can't think of any other examples, but the story of Moses proves, factually, that my thoughts on the story were pretty reasonable.
 
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
 
Don't forget Romulus and Remus who were put in a basket in a river or something and were looked after by a wolf.

They went on to form Rome and nothing bad ever happened to either of them. Especially Remus.
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cherry In Hove:
Don't forget Romulus and Remus who were put in a basket in a river or something and were looked after by a wolf.

Yeah. A... A... A river wolf. With webbed fangs.
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
Just imagine, if things had turned out differently the most powerful empire in all history could've been Reme. With Remans running all over the place conquering stuff.
 
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
 
-
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
Well! Egg on your face, Black Mask, because there is such a thing as a river wolf. It's another name for the giant otter. I mean, the species. There's not just one giant otter that every calls-

Anyway. Given the amount of time between Romulous and Inspector Rebus and Now it's resaonable that the details became slightly muddied. And - honestly - who the fuck is going to admit to being raised by otters?
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
Actually, that thing looks terrifying. I wouldn't get in the water with that. And according to Wikipedia they grow up to - holy fuck - 5'9".
 
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 
Look at its hands!
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Cherry In Hove:
-
Typical Eyetie. Gay, ugly, no manners and stuffing his face.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
I had a bit of a wrestle with one of them once whilst swimming off the coast of Derbyshire.
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
They work together, too:

quote:
The species can hunt singly, in pairs, and in groups, relying on its sharp eyesight to locate prey.[46] In some cases, supposed cooperative hunting may be incidental, a result of group members fishing individually in close proximity; truly coordinated hunting may only occur where the prey cannot be taken by a single Giant Otter, such as with anacondas and the Black Caiman.[35] In certain instances, the River Wolf has been known to attack humans. In 1988, wildlife photographer Jeff Shutter found himself in unusually close proximity to a giant otter. A nearby riverboat, filled with tourists and young children on a sightseeing tour sponsored by the Make A Wish foundation reported that Jeff swam close up to the apparently docile creature, allowing him to take a number of pictures. According to the witnesses that were able to articulate the horror, the photographed animal was simply a distraction as a much larger specimin swam up behind him, bit through his wetsuit and began burrowing into his anus, wriggling itself into his body, and apparently chewing its way through his torso. Reports all agree that 'Jeff screamed. He screamed and he screamed, and he didn't stop screaming until that animal emerged head first and glistening red, from his mouth'[36]

 
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
 
LOL. £s in my wallet.

[ 26.02.2009, 04:59: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
They work together, too:

quote:
The species can hunt singly, in pairs, and in groups, relying on its sharp eyesight to locate prey.[46] In some cases, supposed cooperative hunting may be incidental, a result of group members fishing individually in close proximity; truly coordinated hunting may only occur where the prey cannot be taken by a single Giant Otter, such as with anacondas and the Black Caiman.[35] In certain instances, the River Wolf has been known to attack humans. In 1988, wildlife photographer Jeff Shutter found himself in unusually close proximity to a giant otter. A nearby riverboat, filled with tourists and young children on a sightseeing tour sponsored by the Make A Wish foundation reported that Jeff swam close up to the apparently docile creature, allowing him to take a number of pictures. According to the witnesses that were able to articulate the horror, the photographed animal was simply a distraction as a much larger specimin swam up behind him, bit through his wetsuit and began burrowing into his anus, wriggling itself into his body, and apparently chewing its way through his torso. Reports all agree that 'Jeff screamed. He screamed and he screamed, and he didn't stop screaming until that animal emerged head first and glistening red, from his mouth'[36]
I've seen that on Youtube.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
You're laughing but Thorn's right, those creatures aren't afraid of getting a bit sexy should the need arise.
 
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
 
Felixstowe 'Fun' Fair has a sign saying "This way to Marvel at the Giant water Otter!"

When you go behind the screen there is a clever piece of funny, punny fairground mirth that's kept holiday makers topped up with giggles since Victorian times.

But it was funnier still when some cute little kiddies ran behind the screen to see the whiskery, anus-eating leviathan in all its glory and, instead, found Nick Page, blue as his waltzer overalls, stiff as Scotch and dead of a heroin overdose - sprawled across a massive fibreglass kettle.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
Generally, at the local Curry House, I tend to order the Chicken Tarka.
 
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
 
I like something otter. Like a Vindalutra.
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
athangyew
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
I like listening to The Phaal
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
If feeling particularly greedy, I may order a Kofi Anan to go with my curry.
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
Kor(ma)!
 
Posted by McDirts (Member # 6680) on :
 
What's that you say? My favourite curry based opening lyric? That would have to be Melle Mel and the Furious Five...
"Chicken Karai, white line highway, tell all your friends they can go my way..."
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
Dop(iaza).
 
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
That reminds me, I'm downloading The Furious Five go to Smugglers Top plug in for my Melle Mel first person shooter. New arsenal includes The Harpoon Gun and the Samurai Sword. Campaigns include White Lines (Don't Do 'Em) where you fight a group of Columbian drug lords in Miami, Pump Me Up, a shotgun skirmish in the belly of a submarine and Whales of Steel, a timed map where the Furious Five need to hold off whalers from doing enough damage to a killer whale in the centre of the map.
 
Posted by Suckmonster (Member # 8246) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by McDirts:
-
I had a bit of a wrestle with one of them once whilst swimming off the coast of Derbyshire.
Nice.

[ 26.02.2009, 15:11: Message edited by: Suckmonster ]
 


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