Is everyone off making babies or something?
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
Chance would be a fine thing...
Well whilst most of you are no doubt waking up from the almighty hangovers of a three day weekend, some of us were working yesterday. And some of us are still at it today (although last nights thunderstorm was horrific here so didn't sleep too well - thunder so close and loud that it woke even me up!)
How are you Miss Amp/ Big today tomorrow eh?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I'm lurking, as always. Bit bored at work, made the what-seemed-at-the-time monumental effort to cycle to work for the first time in 2009, showered, changed and got to my desk, only to remember that my boss is working from home today, as is the secondary project manager, and that I have no meetings that couldn't be dealt with by phone. Therefore I don't have much work coming through and I've missed an excellent opportunity to loaf around at home.
No babies to report.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I have got a mere seven days left at work before maternity leave, which is being spent in a mixture of skiving, looking at baby websites, etc, and panicking about how much I've got left to do. Though mainly I couldn't give a toss.
I feel my brain is operating like a ZX80, down from the previous G4, and I haven't got much to contribute to any discussion, online or otherwise. Though some might say nothing new there...
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
What about that Kim Jong-Il then?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
He's a naughty tinker. There must be a vacancy coming up soon as his successor - worth getting the CV in now, I'd say.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I am, yet again, stalking Hoibs. Alright Hoibs? Once I get my arse into gear, I should have another parcel to send to you soon.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Herbs, can I have your job? The day has finally come to start applying for work again (yawn, yet also - yay!) but if you just give me yours then I don't need to hit save on the CV update I just made which is good as my hand is getting tired.
Waynster I'm ok thanks. Can't say I'm particularly overexcited about the big day tomorrow though. One step closer to 40. And death.
[ 26.05.2009, 08:03: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: There must be a vacancy coming up soon as his successor - worth getting the CV in now, I'd say.
I think his youngest son Kim Jong-chul already has it in the bag...
[ 26.05.2009, 08:20: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I'm sort of around. I can't contribute much to threads about babies. I suppose this is what girls feel like when every thread is about action films and computer games.
I'm currently focusing my attentions on rasing money for a new car.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I suppose this is what girls feel like when every thread is about action films and computer games.
Girls play computer games too, you know?!
Sims 3 is out soon.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm alright. Just at work you know. Doing a printer audit and trying to get my colleagues to help. Frustrating yet I'm not getting as much shit as I use to. I'll be in central London next week working in Holborn. Arguing whether to add a web link to Remedy or not. My colleague says no. I reckon yes. Exciting stuff.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Sidney! Hello there. I was just lovingly putting your previous parcel contents into drawers last night. Sorting babygros and t-shirts by age brings it all home rather that soon there'll be an infant to occupy them.
London! Sadly, I can't offer you my job, as I've already recruited someone to do it. Well, not mine, as that's being covered by juniors acting up, but a lowlier version. Handy for you though - it's in Docklands.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Bugger! Yeah, that's what I want, a nice tidy lucrative job in Docklands so I can walk to work and nip to the nursery school to breastfeed the little one at lunchtimes.
(TMI?)
Isn't Sims 3 out already? Was hoping to get it as a birthday present.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Isn't Sims 3 out already? Was hoping to get it as a birthday present.
It's out already on thepiratebay but not in shops.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: (TMI?)
Listen to you being coy. You had a wank in the disableds ffs.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Quiet and busy at the same time, well busy at work anyway - I fucking hate having a proper job now and not being able to piss my life away making photoshops and talking crap online....
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: nice tidy lucrative job in Docklands
It's best you didn't get your hopes up. Tidy... no. Lucrative... no. Docklands... yes.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by London: (TMI?)
Listen to you being coy. You had a wank in the disableds ffs.
But that was when I was young and crazy! I am A Mother now. :halo emoticon:
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove:
quote:Originally posted by London: Isn't Sims 3 out already? Was hoping to get it as a birthday present.
It's out already on thepiratebay but not in shops.
That's quite handy because stealing things from the internet is one of my boyfriend's specialities. Buying things in shops? Not so much. (Total money fail.)
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Here is the way some guy on reddit describes how he tortured his sims.
quote: Here was my method:
Junior goes for a swim while mom hangs out upstairs, with a clear view to the pool. Dad has everything he needs in the house, and he chills out playing some video games.
I delete the staircase, isolating mom from the rest of the house, with nothing more than an espresso machine in a tiny, plain room.
Simultaneously, I delete the ladder to the pool.
Junior starts swimming around aimlessly, like a lost puppy. Mom doesn't particularly feel like having an espresso, but when you're locked in an escape-proof room with only one thing in it, I suppose you're bound to use that thing.
Junior starts to get fatigued, apparently unable to stand in or climb out of the pool. Meanwhile, mom is getting increasingly strung out due to the caffeine overdose, and can no longer hold her urine which is now being produced at an incredible rate. She looks on hopelessly as her son dies of drowning, apparently lacking the willpower to burst through the 2nd story window to attempt a heroic rescue.
Dad gets up to find his dead son, and seems confused about his wife's whereabouts. Dad calls up his hot neighbor, they talk about the tragic loss and she ends up giving him an epic pity-fuck.
Meanwhile, lacking any restroom facilities, mom is eventually forced to sleep in a puddle of her own waste. After a few days alone with her sorrow, urine, humiliation, and espresso, she develops severe bipolar tendencies; sometimes she tells herself jokes, but mostly she just weeps in-between taking sips of espresso. Ultimately she perishes, huddled in a corner, clutching detached tufts of her own hair.
The stairwell is then reinstalled. Over the course of his wife's demise, dad has been fucking his new mistress several times daily. Dad finds the body of his wife, and calls his girlfriend up to see the atrocious scene.
The stairwell is once again deleted, trapping the couple upstairs with the dead wife. Dad is now continuously reminded that while he was fucking his new girlfriend, he probably could've been searching a bit harder for his missing wife.
Despite the utterly macabre scene of the upstairs tomb, the dad and the hot neighbor have only espresso and sex to pass the time, and they indeed make use of both outlets. The husband occasionally waits for the neighbor to pass out in the now ankle-deep human excrement before stroking his dead wife's putrid flesh and maggot-infested hair.
Eventually the now-significantly-less-hot neighbor expires; it is unclear whether due to disease or starvation.
Now the man is all alone in a pit of despair, surrounded completely by rotting flesh, piss, shit, semen, flies, maggots, and vomit. He poses the decomposing bodies of his two lovers suggestively around the espresso machine. He is now so completely batshit insane that he finds the resolve to fuck the corpses, probably unaware that they are even dead.
I don't know what happens to the husband after that... this is where I saved the game. I have the save file if anyone is interested... it's called thearistocrats.sav
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
Send that man an invite to TMO - that is aces!
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I'm hoping that Misc will get some ideas from that and we'll have TMO Sims EXTREME this year.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Seems that the new create-a-sim system gives you a bit more control over the look. Still a maximum of eight sims per lot.
Send recent pictures to [my TMO name]@gmail.com for possible inclusion.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Still a maximum of eight sims per lot.
LOL, should be plenty!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I don't really have many recent photos of me. I'll see what I can dig out though
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
are there even 8 people on this website nowadays? Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Maybe we could post up to date photos of ourselves on here. That used to be fun didn't it?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Unfortunately I think Benway was 75% of the posters so with him gone it has obviously quietened down a bit.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
another 15% were Thorn and he's off being babyish, so that just leaves we plucky 10% standing.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
Happy birthday, Miss London!!! I was going to post that on your wall on FB, but you don't have it turned on?
I am around, lurking mostly, as the husband and I are in the process of moving to a new, much better apartment. I hate moving. We have so much to do, and we're getting nothing done. Probably because we're both sitting on our arses, wishing it was next Thursday already (when we both get our unemployment checks!)
Needless to say, we should be getting out of the new apt and back over to the old to do what needs to be done.
Tonight we're going to watch Taken (the movie, not the series) and continue moving stuff over. I just want to be finished and it to be next week already!!!
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
I'm still around...just...
Living on the other side of the world from most of the posters here means that I tend to get here just as everyone else is leaving, so I'm completely out of sync with it all.
That sims thing was brilliant though.
Happy Birthday London!
Er...
Quiet here....
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
My intention to drop by here once a month has been ground to dust, and I feel I might have moved beyond posting on bulletin boards.
Which is sad.
No babies for us, a statement I put the rubber stamp on when I bought a two-seater car. Been very busy with work, though - you would never have known that there's this thing called a recession.
Off to France tomorrow night, still awaiting feedback in print from Mail on Sunday hack.
Bye.
Um, oh. Happy birthday Londres!
[ 28.05.2009, 09:43: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I mostly pop over here when TMT is down.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Things just aren't the same with all the babies, see. But! Herbs! Best of luck etc etc. Hope it all goes well.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
I only ever posted during school holidays anyway. Been busy having a nose operation and a grandson.
I'm popping in occasionally to see if herbs has had her baby. I want to congratulate you herbs and then that'll be pretty much it.
Someone once described tmo as a soap opera and there is that slightly depressing air of a richer, nostalgic soap past to the place.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i still lurk, obviously. im only posting because my sister's having her 14 week scan today, but i dont know if she's told our other sister that shes puppin' yet, so i cant be all up in twitter and facebook and shit going 'WORD WORD WORD ALICE IS AUNTIE!!!' because it would cause bere ruuuuuuuuuuuctions. i am very amused by how excited i am about my incipient auntiehood, mostly because it reminds me of when boy racer's nephew was born and he was walking around as if he had invented oxygen, and everyone was like, 'dude, youre hyperventilating, find a cushion and a paperbag and chillax for a while'. including me a little bit. OK, quite a lot. and now im all like 'ALICE IS AUNTIE! MY YOUNGER SIBLING IS BREEDING SOON AND THE WORLD IS A LIGHTER, SHINIER PLACE. RELEASE THE HELIUM BALLOONS! UNCORK THE BOTTLES! TELL THE DANCING GIRLS TO PULL UP THEIR STOCKINGS AND STRAIGHTEN THEIR HEADDRESSES, FOR THE CARNIVAL OF UNDESERVED SELF- CONGRATULATION IS ABOUT TO BEGIN!'
yeah. being an expectant auntie is pretty cool.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I know people got all amaze-o about nephews and nieces and babies and relatives and all that, but I've just never had it in me. My nephew is about 5 or 6 now, or something, and I feel like a really crap uncle, because I don't have any real emotional investment in his wellbeing. I wish him well, and look forward to drinking with him when he's a bit older, but that's about it. For the moment, he's just a slightly annoying spoilt child who sometimes produces beautiful little moments of childness, like all children do, because that's what they do. He's no different to any of the others in that regard, except that he's my nephew.
I did take an ace photo of him once, though, but more generally I think it's a very very good thing that I won't be having any children.
What with not wanting them, an' that.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
yeah, i totally want a massive brood of jamfaced wretches you see but am totally failing to get off the launching pad with the whole you know, adult relationship thing. so its total wish fulfilment you see. i get to practise on someone else's, do the buying of tiny socks and the spitty kisses, without having to worry about catchment areas or lice or cabbage leaves or inevitable experimentation with drugs i wont have heard of let alone have taken.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
That is an ace photo.
I'm very similar about my niece. I'm useless at being an uncle and forgot her birthday this year.
I took this photo of her with my cheapo camera that I was really pleased with.
[ 29.05.2009, 09:03: Message edited by: Cherry In Hove ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
oh that's a great photo
I missed my nephew's birthday once as well, which completely vindicated everyone else's opinion about me in the family.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
SG5 you have awful, awful plates.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: SG5 you have awful, awful plates.
Yes, but do you like his phallic butternut squash thing. Actually, is it even phallic or have I got a weird one on me this afternoon?
My neices make me cry. The eldest one is currently going through the assorted, awful, awful processes of family counselling and has been referred to the local CAMS team because she's having some kind of delayed reaction to the whole previous divorce thing and it utterly wrenches something inside me just to think about it, really.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i was going to write something really really teaky then, so id like to thank cherry in hove, for owning plates so bizarrely awful that they have completely excised all thoughts of teakiness from my mind, and mart, for bringing my attention to them JUST IN TIME.
[ 29.05.2009, 09:16: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
teaky?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i cant remember what my original definition of teaky was. children with learning disabilities doing ballet routines is pretty much the archetype of teaky. its things that you kind of want to laugh at but then you feel bad because laughing at them makes you a terrible human being because theyre also sort of beautiful. so actually, what i was about to write wasnt even teaky. it was just pathetic.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: SG5 you have awful, awful plates.
I liked them for approximately one meal and then regretted my purchase.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
cherry in hoves plates- not teaky. you want to laugh at them, but that wouldnt make you a bad person, because theyre not beautiful.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Can't you send the plates to an Old Plates Home and get some new ones?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
they do match though. none of my plates match. and one of my mugs says something about bums on it. 'crunchy bum' or 'slushy bum' or something, something irritatingly nonsensical. it has cartoon characters on it, you know those ones off greeting cards. so i cant really talk.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
We've got matching mugs to those plates and they're the most ridiculous mugs in the world. They are square mugs which sounds like a "clever" and "edgy" idea or something, but it is almost impossible to drink from them.
I don't have a square mouth so I require round cups.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Can't you send the plates to an Old Plates Home and get some new ones?
I do want to get some new plates, but at the moment I'm trying to be cautious with money and these plates do work as plates so it seems a bit ridiculous to replace them with plates that work in exactly the same way but that will look better in photos.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
SG5's horrible plates remind me of an advert for a steering wheel I wrote on another forum:
quote:The time has come to part company with what may well be the greatest steering wheel ever made.
Let's take a look at the basics:
Type - Steering wheel Colour - White and chrome Size - a bit bigger than a dinner plate. A regular dinner plate, mind, not like those real big dinner plates that fatties use. And definitely not those stupid square ones which people buy because they think they're cool to show off at dinner parties where all their dead-eyed guest are all "Oh I do love your square plates, they're so different!" while secretly imagining what you'd look like with a pick-axe stuck in your skull.
Advanced Features: Bi-directional rotation - wheel can be used in both clockwise and anti-clockwise directions, enabling a complete range of steering angles both left and right. Don't be caught out by cheap steering wheels which only allow you to steer left. This is the real deal and goes both ways.
Circular shape construction - A circle is the most efficient shape for a steering wheel, due to its circulous movement. A circular steering wheel will move freely through the hands, where other shapes such as triangles, star shapes, and dodecahedrons, can tend to cause Palmular Chafing Syndrome. Horn Push - Horn-push feature ensures that your horn is ready for action whenever you need it. This easy-to-operate feature is controlled by a circular pad in the centre of the wheel which, when pushed, emits a loud hornlike sound, demonstrating to other road users your awesomeness and superiority.
Extreme JDM-tyteness - Can, in some cases, cause prolonged periods of extreme awesome, increasing your drift skills by a factor of 14.57. Can also improve your sex life. Cures the Seven Signs of Ageing.
Possible bad points
There is a small but noticeable chip in the paint at the bottom of the middle spoke, about 8mm in length. May be touch-uppable, or you can do what I did and just ignore it until you no longer notice it.
Paint is slightly scratched in places. Nothing bad but tends to pick up dirt from your hands and may require occasional cleaning with a cotton-bud or similar.
It sold within ten minutes of being advertised...
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
When I bought square plates I sensibly just bought two square plates, to see how I got on with the concept of square plates generally. They're black square plates. They're like something Patrick Bateman would own. And eat salad off. Or perhaps store a kidney on, in his fridge.
I don't really like them much.
I have holiday cottage plates now. They're cheap, chipped and too small for anything other than frugal portions.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
He's going to hate you for that photo one day, until he becomes very old and then he will treasure it.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: SG5's horrible plates remind me of an advert for a steering wheel I wrote on another forum:
quote:The time has come to part company with what may well be the greatest steering wheel ever made.
Let's take a look at the basics:
Type - Steering wheel Colour - White and chrome Size - a bit bigger than a dinner plate. A regular dinner plate, mind, not like those real big dinner plates that fatties use. And definitely not those stupid square ones which people buy because they think they're cool to show off at dinner parties where all their dead-eyed guest are all "Oh I do love your square plates, they're so different!" while secretly imagining what you'd look like with a pick-axe stuck in your skull.
Advanced Features: Bi-directional rotation - wheel can be used in both clockwise and anti-clockwise directions, enabling a complete range of steering angles both left and right. Don't be caught out by cheap steering wheels which only allow you to steer left. This is the real deal and goes both ways.
Circular shape construction - A circle is the most efficient shape for a steering wheel, due to its circulous movement. A circular steering wheel will move freely through the hands, where other shapes such as triangles, star shapes, and dodecahedrons, can tend to cause Palmular Chafing Syndrome. Horn Push - Horn-push feature ensures that your horn is ready for action whenever you need it. This easy-to-operate feature is controlled by a circular pad in the centre of the wheel which, when pushed, emits a loud hornlike sound, demonstrating to other road users your awesomeness and superiority.
Extreme JDM-tyteness - Can, in some cases, cause prolonged periods of extreme awesome, increasing your drift skills by a factor of 14.57. Can also improve your sex life. Cures the Seven Signs of Ageing.
Possible bad points
There is a small but noticeable chip in the paint at the bottom of the middle spoke, about 8mm in length. May be touch-uppable, or you can do what I did and just ignore it until you no longer notice it.
Paint is slightly scratched in places. Nothing bad but tends to pick up dirt from your hands and may require occasional cleaning with a cotton-bud or similar.
It sold within ten minutes of being advertised...
This is a work of art.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Who's going to hate who for which photo? And why?
[ 29.05.2009, 09:45: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
While we're all chatting, does anyone have anything good to say about Birmingham? My girlfriend is living there for a few weeks, in Edgbaston, and I keep going down to see her, and the overriding feeling we both get is that the city is, pretty much, awful.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I've only really ever seen the inside of the NEC. Which doesn't really give much of an idea about the place. Driftworks are based in Birmingham so that's one plus point I guess. Isn't someone on here from Birmingham? CiH or someone?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Sidderknee used to be from Birmingham, didn't she.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Who's going to hate who for which photo? And why?
Your photo of your nephew. It is a very beautiful photo and it makes him look beautiful. Small boys rarely find being made to look beautiful and gamin cool. But I had a flight of fancy and imagined him old and wrinkled and looking at the picture with true nostalgia and envy for his former beauty in it.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Last time I was in Birmingham, it was the seventies. The bike broke down and some coppers helped us fix it. I think times have changed since then.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I've been to Birmingham a couple of times, and from my limited experience I can say that its name seems phonetically correct.
Brrr Ming Hmmm
[ 29.05.2009, 10:03: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Oh well it's only for a few weeks, then off to Nottingham, which I have much more of a handle on, then back to London.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
My sister lived in Wolverhampton for a bit.
It were shit. Also, I once got lost in Wednesbury.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
sam - gamin - good word
also - how is your nose
[ 29.05.2009, 10:19: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Birmingham is so shit even Mike Skinner pretends not to be from there
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Also, new street station has shit rules for smoking outside.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
It's just not happening for Birmingham, is it.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
It's only plus point is that it's got Sidney in it. And I think she's moved recently.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Actually, considering that it's the UK's second-biggest city, isn't it amazing how few people you meet who are from Birmingham. I reckon they all get kind of shitted in to the shitness of the place, and it just never occurs to them to go anywhere else, where things are a lot less shit.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
People from Birmingham don't travel well. Is the accent, see. They get righteously mocked when beyond the warm confines of Dudley, and so scuttle back to it for security whenever possible.
This is the diametric opposite of scousers, who have a similarly shit accent, but no qualms about attempting to repopulate the world with their shitness. Scousers=the shit.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Who would you rather listen to, then -- a scouser or a Brum?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Although irritating after a while, at least scouse is a bit more upbeat than the resigned dirge of brummie. My vote goes to scouse.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
yes that's true
brumfail
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Scouse is just irritating, though. At least you can laugh at a Brummy. I mean just how do they manage to sound quite so goshdarned thick?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Thinking back, I once paid actual coin to hear a scouser do some talking.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
What the fuck did you do that for, you fucking freak?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Ey, c'mon, calm down....
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Ackcherloi, hang on chaps, I'm of Brummidge descent, you want to watch what you're saying, I've all sorts of relatives that wouldn't like that, awroight?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: What the fuck did you do that for, you fucking freak?
His name was Roger and he was a poet.
And I *really* fancied this girl at school who was going...
[ 29.05.2009, 10:45: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
maybe we need some kind of list of UK accents put in order of shitness.
Brum Scouse Yorkshire Wiltshire Devon
etc etc
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Kwality, mart, kwality. I've just made you my friend on Flickr by the way.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Don't forget Nawfuck.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
fucksake ringo, what did I ever do to you? I tick your boxes for family from brum, living in wiltshire-lite "bristol" and bornandbredin devon. my accent must be totally rubbish.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Actually, Yorkshire might be worse than scouse.
I'll have to get back to you on that one.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Leeds accent is pretty shit too, really. If we're honest.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: fucksake ringo, what did I ever do to you? I tick your boxes for family from brum, living in wiltshire-lite "bristol" and bornandbredin devon. my accent must be totally rubbish.
You've got the Caramel Bunny's voice though, haven't you?
Manc accents are quite gay, really, too. Let's put them on the list.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Everyone talks like a nob, basically.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
apart from people from Northern Ireland. They're cool. I quite like Geordie accents sometimes too. If the person talking is Ross Noble.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: You've got the Caramel Bunny's voice though, haven't you?
Phwoar, really?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Worst thing about a yorkshire accent is that most yorkshirites are really proud of talking like twats. It's not just an accent either, there's also the fact half of them insist on still speaking in Middle English.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: sam - gamin - good word
also - how is your nose
Thanks for asking. It's bloody sore. They took the septum out from the bottom up, shaved it a bit, straightened it a bit and stitched it back in. At least I think that's what they told me. I was still coming round. Still bleeding a bit, wearing glasses is a pain - literally - and I don't understand why anyone has a cosmetic nose job more than once.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by Louche: You've got the Caramel Bunny's voice though, haven't you?
Phwoar, really?
Yeah that's totally true actually. Hippy's voice is like having honey poured on your cochlea. Which is ironic really because in theory she's the worst kind of vocal mongrel.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
The accents along the M4 seems to blend pretty smoothly from one town to the next.
Brissle - Swind'n - Noobree - Reddin - Lahndan
The old folk round here have some great accents. They all sound like fucking morons, but lovable morons at least.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
have you had some sort of nose trouble, then, sam, or is it a vanity thing? or what.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
My girlfriend has a lovely lilting Trinidadian accent. She's totally tropical.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
My girlfriend has a Geordie accent. Friends mock Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: My girlfriend has a lovely lilting Trinidadian accent. She's totally tropical.
[ 29.05.2009, 11:06: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I get told off (with teeth kissing included) for sounding Jamaican when I try to imitate her.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: have you had some sort of nose trouble, then, sam, or is it a vanity thing? or what.
Couldn't breathe properly. Septum blocked one nostril completely and it was aggravating my asthma. I went for that and also ended up having an MRI for a brain tumour and being given a hearing aid. The NH is wonderful.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: My girlfriend has a Geordie accent. Friends mock
When my daughter moved back to the Midlands, lads thought she was a tramp because she had a Geordie accent, and that made her 'easy', apparently. Meanwhile, my son was treated like a time bomb that could go off because Geordie men like fighting, apparently. Neither were either.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Worst thing about a yorkshire accent is that most yorkshirites are really proud of talking like twats. It's not just an accent either, there's also the fact half of them insist on still speaking in Middle English.
LOL Cheers.
You've just described my dad.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: the warm confines of Dudley,
Lennie Henry makes coming from Dudley almost cool. He could talk all day for me.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Have a good weekend everyone. It was a sunny chat today. Nice one.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Although irritating after a while, at least scouse is a bit more upbeat than the resigned dirge of brummie.
The Cheshire accent will have to go to the top of the hate list here I think. It's basically the irritatingness of the Scouse accent blended with the resigned dirge of Brummie. Just imagine a really, really depressed Scouser (if you can).
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Just imagine a really, really depressed Scouser (if you can).
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
I think all this chit chat about accents is amusing. When I came over, Sky told me that I sounded like one of the girls from Friends. But, I don't think I sound anything like them.
Southerners, say from Alabama...sound moronic. Texans pronounce the word oil like all, but slightly off. Hawaiians, not all, but quite a few, speak pidgin. I could go on...Americans have quite a range of accents, although I prefer neutral accents. Not too Southern, not to Jersey-ish, etc.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
hullo, yes, i once lived in birmingham. i don't now, which is all you need to know. i haven't been to birmingham for quite a while and would say that i'm in no rush to visit it any time soon. edgbaston is a bit rough though, to be fair - dodgy bedsit land.
i live in the peak district now. i like it and i don't even mind the local accent.
[ 30.05.2009, 16:00: Message edited by: Sidney ]
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
dp action
[ 30.05.2009, 16:01: Message edited by: Sidney ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Thanks for birthday wishes people. It was a pretty dim birthday really, what with being Old and with my birthday completely overshadowed with MY! SON'S! FIRST! BIRTHDAY! coming up soon. I can see a trend forming here. I might as well kiss my birthday goodbye and give us joint parties from now on. Jelly and cake forever. No more drugs and fun. That's kind of how it is anyway when you have kids, so no problem there really.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: No more drugs and fun. That's kind of how it is anyway when you have kids, so no problem there really.
It's just a different kind of fun. kills self Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Worst thing about a yorkshire accent is that most yorkshirites are really proud of talking like twats. It's not just an accent either, there's also the fact half of them insist on still speaking in Middle English.
Sumer is icumen in, Lhude sing cuccu! Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Hello Ben..
Belated birthday wishes London, jelly and ice cream sounds good though. And happy upcoming 1st Jimbob, may you never have nappy rash and may all your burps surpise you !
It is quiet isn't it ? If we did a twitter it would be more of a twat these days..
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
London - when is Jimmy's birthday? Sounds like it could be near Fonzbert's due date...
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
Is there a list somewhere of birthdays and offspring birthdays? Happy upcoming, Jimbob!
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
My birthday is in August, if anyone cares.
Herbs, when is Fonzbert expected to make an appearance?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Fonzbert is due on 28 June. Naturally, he won't arrive then. I don't want him to be early, as I am in no way psychologically prepared, and I don't want him to be late as he'll then be all big and will tear my bottom.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
See? So many reasons to NOT have kids. *sigh*
I can't watch people giving birth...I find the whole idea as kind of sick & twisted. Probably has something to do with me being 10 and seeing my mom in the recovery room after giving birth to my brother. Her sheet moved and it was like a gory, hellish scene from a movie. No effing way. And that same year our health class showed us the film where a woman gives birth...ugh.
If we ever have a child it will have to be a C-Section...with loads of drugs. No natural births for this lady.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: See? So many reasons to NOT have kids. *sigh*
I can't watch people giving birth...I find the whole idea as kind of sick & twisted. Probably has something to do with me being 10 and seeing my mom in the recovery room after giving birth to my brother. Her sheet moved and it was like a gory, hellish scene from a movie. No effing way. And that same year our health class showed us the film where a woman gives birth...ugh.
If we ever have a child it will have to be a C-Section...with loads of drugs. No natural births for this lady.
I'd suggest you skip it, altogether.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
Thanks for the input, Masky...
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
It's really not that bad. I've seen two births and honestly can't figure out what people get so worked up over.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Not that bad? I've been present at four births now and each time I'm fucking blown away by the experience. Miracle of fucking birth yo. Fucking miracle.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I've been present at four births now and each time I'm fucking blown away by the experience.
Image of ralph hanging about at the local maternity ward, looking for unaccompanied women.
"Don't worry sugar, ralphie's here..." Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Jimmy's birthday is June 12. So closer to the early end of the D-Day spectrum, Herbs. Let's hope yours doesn't do what Jimmy did and wait an extra 2 weeks before getting forced out. He wasn't that big though - 7lb 7oz. My perinium was perfectly intact, you'll be pleased to hear.
I'm going to be doing some voluntary work helping women have babies at Homerton Hospital. So hopefully I should get to be present at a birth quite soon! :overexcited emoticon:
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
OMG. I'm having Fonzbert at the Homerton! Maybe you'll have the opportunity to come and tell me when it is I'm supposed to pant, etc. I seem to remember the NCT teacher telling us to open our mouths at some important juncture, but I can't remember when it was.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
We're intending to have ours at home I think. I need to get my xbox fixed so I have something to do while she's pushing.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: I need to get my xbox fixed so I have something to do while she's pushing.
trust me...your hands will be quite busy covering your ears to lessen the screams. god...the screaming.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
It's OK, we're scientologists so she's banned from making any noise or using pain relief as it would make the childs entrance into the world stressful
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
sweet. I wish we had converted prior to the four births I attended. enjoy the gayming!
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: It's OK, we're scientologists so she's banned from making any noise or using pain relief as it would make the childs entrance into the world stressful
A friend of mine gave birth in Spain, and apparently the hospital was big on the Catholic thing - give birth in pain and all that. No drugs and she got told off for screaming.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
In Portugal if you scream in childbirth they brand you on the forehead with a 'P'.
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
Lol. I screamed blue murder. It briefly occurred to me that it probably wasn't all that much fun to listen to for the other women in the midwifery unit, but there was no way of stopping.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
People always say later "oh, giving birth didn't hurt...its no big deal," etc. But, my one sister in law told me it hurts something fierce...so my question is: why do people say it doesn't?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Amy, have you recently had a head injury?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: People always say later "oh, giving birth didn't hurt...its no big deal," etc.
I don't think I've ever heard anyone say anything remotely like that. It's generally the exact opposite.
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: so my question is: why do people say it doesn't?
It possibly passes you by if you're unconscious, but other than that I don't think anyone pretends it doesn't hurt. I mean, childbirth is surely famously incredibly painful.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: I mean, childbirth is surely famously incredibly painful.
I've heard it's almost as painful as the headaches we men suffer from when we get flu, but I rather doubt it.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Women only say childbirth's so painful because they've never been kicked in the balls.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
Black Mask, no I haven't suffered a head injury.
Maybe women in the UK don't say it doesn't hurt, but they sure do over here! I had A's sisters debating it. One was saying it didn't hurt and it was the most beautiful thing ever, while the other one was saying "don't lie to her!"
Plus, both my mom and mother in law said it didn't hurt. My mom didn't have an epidural with either myself or my brother.
So, people are always telling me child birth doesn't hurt, but it freaks me out. Perhaps I'm a freak of nature. :shrugging emoticon: I can't help it.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Amy, it sounds to me like a lot of people want you to experience vast amounts of barely tolerable pain.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Maybe it's like when people get tattoos and say 'ah it didn't hurt' which is just the biggest most pathetic schoolboy lie you can come up with, because tattooing is having a needle jabbed into your skin for hours, repeatedly. I mean, you're not going to die or anything but you don't enjoy it much either.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
Actually, Mikee, I really enjoy the feeling of getting tattooed! I think it feels good...it relaxes my muscles. The only time getting tattooed ever bothered me was the very last star on my lower spine. The back of my neck and the rest of my spine didn't hurt at all though.
Black Mask, I think you may be right...out to get me, they are Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: both my mom and mother in law said it didn't hurt. My mom didn't have an epidural with either myself or my brother.
They may not have had epidurals but they must have been absolutely off their faces on something to claim it was pain-free.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: Actually, Mikee, I really enjoy the feeling of getting tattooed! I think it feels good...it relaxes my muscles. The only time getting tattooed ever bothered me was the very last star on my lower spine. The back of my neck and the rest of my spine didn't hurt at all though.
Funny that, I am seriously considering going into town in a bit and getting my first Tat in donkeys years done - I am thinking about getting 'Noli nothis permittere te terere' done on my inner arm in a nice gothic font
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
'Noli nothis permittere te terere'
and in English that means:
'NO, Never penetrate me with a potato'
I wanted to get a H2G2 tat to celebrate my 42nd birthday next week but can't find anything I like or anyone good to do it that's affordable..
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: Actually, Mikee, I really enjoy the feeling of getting tattooed! I think it feels good...it relaxes my muscles.
Well, your family are all just nails then. My mate, some barrel chested 6 foot 5-er nearly died when having his down on his bicep. He went white as a sheet as was muttering like a pirate with scurvy on driftwood.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: 'Noli nothis permittere te terere'
and in English that means:
'NO, Never penetrate me with a potato'
I wanted to get a H2G2 tat to celebrate my 42nd birthday next week but can't find anything I like or anyone good to do it that's affordable..
Well I can help with half the problem - there is a damn good and affordable Tattooist near the Westermarkt - He did a couple of mates of mine from Nico's - one had a large indian done on his inner forearm (and the guy has big forearms) - astounding quality and it was only 250 Eurosponds. Another one had a BCFC tattoo done as well which again was very well done, though I never found out the price. Seriously thinking about going down there in a bit and getting some ink - wanna come along? There could be beer after
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
It's a possibility - I'm mooching about next weekend so it could be a done deal Saturday maybe..
Don't suppose you know the name of it do you ?
Website ?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I've had a lovely day, so far. Liz and I both took the day off work because we'd agreed to take some of the Masketeers' class to our allotment. Cheap day trip, eh? Still the kids all had a good time for an hour or so, until it started to rain. We marched them all back to school, and then Liz took me for lunch at the Herne. I had roasted marrow bones, then lemon sole, a couple of pints of Addlestones and finished off with a double espresso and a Maker's Mark. Liz had an excellent crab salad and pappardelle with broad beans. Then we walked back across the Rye. And now I'm here, with the whole weekend ahead of me.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I've had a lovely day, so far. Liz and I both took the day off work because we'd agreed to take some of the Masketeers' class to our allotment. Cheap day trip, eh? Still the kids all had a good time for an hour or so, until it started to rain. We marched them all back to school, and then Liz took me for lunch at the Herne. I had roasted marrow bones, then lemon sole, a couple of pints of Addlestones and finished off with a double espresso and a Maker's Mark. Liz had an excellent crab salad and pappardelle with broad beans. Then we walked back across the Rye. And now I'm here, with the whole weekend ahead of me.
:ONVY:
That sounds fucking ACE.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I want Black Masque's dinner.
It's raining and I nearly fell off a fell earlier.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
I think I might know what I want..
DNA N47°16´ E11°23´ Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Presumably, they have towels?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
one would hope so
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
I am really chuffed with this:
...although Darryn I was sent to the wrong tattooist, though I am still very happy with this - cost €120 which isn't bad for Amsterdam. Maybe Saturday we can go check out the other one - I've got the bug back
What is the relevance of the location in your design?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Nice... Did they do other fonts ?
I want a 'normal' font - probably Frutiger.
DNA N47°16´ E11°23´
As I'm 42 it's a Douglas Adams reference
DNA being 'Douglas Noel Adams' and N47°16´ E11°23´being the location of the field in Innsbruck where he got the idea for the Hitch-hikers Guide to the Galaxy.
[ 06.06.2009, 08:00: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Nice... Did they do other fonts ?
Oh yeah - what the guy does is type is photoshop, gets it how it should look, prints it off, then puts it through this oojamaflip with carbon paper and thats what he uses as the template for the tat. All very clever stuff...
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
It wasn't the screaming so much as the roaring when you have to push it out. My boyfriend says he will never forget that sound. And he was behind two sets of double doors because I chucked everyone out of the delivery room except me and the midwives!
Amy, it is like being trapped in a horrible world of pain. Upside, it only lasts a day or so which sounds long but isn't compared to, say, your whole life. As soon as it was over and the baby was on my chest I looked up at the midwife and said 'That was awful... awful' in tones of shock and horror. (And I had an epidural!) She said 'I know, but you soon forget'. And it's true, you can't remember pain.
But I know that there was pain, massive unending pain that reduces you to the cognitive level of a racoon with its leg caught in a trap. But mainly because having a baby is awesome it seems like, not a fair swap exactly, but fair enough that you* have to go through something that terrible to get something that incredible.
*Of course, the man doesn't go through anything and he still gets the wonderful baby. But that's life, isn't it. Women draw the biological short straw.
[ 08.06.2009, 06:11: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
<gibber>
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Sometimes it goes quite smoothly though.
[ 08.06.2009, 11:17: Message edited by: dang65 ]
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
what london said, which is why i've got four now.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
You've got four?
Oh, hang on, you mean kids, right? Phew.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
That Dang.....he still hasn't got it.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
London instead of posting on long lost forums please send me twisted sisters volume 1. It's her birthday soon and she can be ferocious
Plus we watched crumb the other night and want more.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
sorry JohnJ I totally forgot. Will get on that this week.
Has Herbs had her baby yet? I stalked* her on Mumsnet to find out but she didn't have the mega-stalkable-option (e.g. view recent posts) switched on, so my search was fruitless.
*randomly found, then stalked
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Yo! *jumps out of bush*
I have not yet had baby. He's due a week today, and frankly I'm bricking it. Waves of terror pass through me on a regular basis.
I'm totally shagged, but can't sleep (hence posting at 7am on a Sunday), due to a combination of said terror and discomfort of having mobile medicine ball sewn into abdomen.
I haven't posted on mumsnet of late, as don't have much to contribute, other than 'HELP ME'.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Wow, Herbs has been posting on Mumsnet, and I'll wager she hasn't been trolling them with "I'm thinking of giving birth at 20,000 feet, strapped to a midwife, during a tandem parachute jump. Anyone got any experience of this?" posts.
Times change.
Good luck with the birth Herbie . Careful they cut the right chord; a reserve chute probably won't be strong enough to land midwife, chile and Mummy.
[ 21.06.2009, 03:29: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Yo! *jumps out of bush*
I have not yet had baby. He's due a week today, and frankly I'm bricking it. Waves of terror pass through me on a regular basis.
Ok. Must remember this. Not even due yet. Jimmy was two weeks overdue by the end and I was so sick of people on the internet demanding to know where he was. As if I would have the baby and then somehow fail to mention it on the internet, just to piss people off. I promise I will not ask again, as it was so annoying I wanted to crawl through the screen and crush people to death with my bump.
I wish I could reassure you that there is nothing to be frightened of. Like someone said to me, it is the most awful pain you will ever have in your life, but then it doesn't last forever, and then you will have a BABY, which is the best toy you will ever have. And you forget what you went through in about three days, seriously.
And maybe you will be one of those women who it doesn't even hurt and who has a Birth Orgasm ha ha ha yeah right! At first my contractions didn't hurt. I was wired up to this machine and the machine was saying I was having a contraction and I felt nothing, and I was like, OH MY GOD, I KNEW IT!!! I KNEW I WAS ONE OF THOSE WOMEN!!! I LEAD A CHARMED LIFE!!!!
And then... *mimes being hit by enormous fist made of pain*.
And now... I have this!!!!
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I am indeed trying to remember that however dreadful the pain, it is finite, and there'll be Fonzbert at the end of it all. Though that is just as scary. Will I like him? What if he doesn't like me?
I think I'm in the grip of hormonal madness...
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Worry not, no matter what you do your child will love and hate you in equal amounts, it's the way they work.
One minute telling you they hate you because there's no marmite next hugging and kissing you and telling you how great you are because you've opened a door for them or wiped their bottom.
And there will be times, many, many times you'll want quiet, peace and some alone time away from the mewling brat but when you do get that time you'll have no idea what to do with it and the silence will destroy you.
Almost, welcome to the club Herbie - You'll never sleeps again.
[ 21.06.2009, 09:45: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Though that is just as scary. Will I like him? What if he doesn't like me?
I had that worry, and to be honest for the first three days I didn't really feel much - I was so knackered and just focused on coping with feeds, quieting etc, and occasionally having a shower and getting in clean pyjamas. But then about day four it hit me. I think you can't not like your baby. And it is just as exciting finally meeting the person who's been kicking hell out of you for months as everyone says it is.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: I have not yet had baby. He's due a week today
...9 days later.
*suspense*
What news? Hand me a list of today's victories.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Gnn. He's still within, with no sign of coming out. He seems to be taking after me, rather than his father, on the punctuality front.
I shall be eating pineapple and curry today, and drinking raspberry leaf tea. Though frankly can't be arsed with doing sex, another supposed way of 'ripening the cervix' (ew...)
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Ah well, two days late is nothing is it. Thinking of you anyway. (Hmm, does that sound too much like, "my thoughts and prayers are with the family"? *barf*)
quote:Originally posted by herbs: frankly can't be arsed with doing sex, another supposed way of 'ripening the cervix' (ew...)
That is fairly unappetising terminology isn't it. It's like thinking of fruit as "a ripened ovary". Which it is, technically. Kind of puts you off apples a bit that. Not much though.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Two days late is indeed a mere bagatelle, but I'm now panicking about having to be induced, and him being gargantutan, and my entire downstairs area having to be rebuilt after he's hauled out via heavy lifting equipment.
Also, just imagine how hot the hospital is going to be. They're about 80deg during the winter... Oof.
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
If he was going to be absolutely enormous they'd probably have mentioned it at one of your antenatal checks after having a feel - I don't think there's any way anyone can squeeze an 11 lb baby out of their ladygarden.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Good luck, Herbs, I hope it all goes as, er, well as these things can be expected to and all.
My sister pushed a 10lb 7oz baby out of her ladygarden without damage to ladygarden or baby, for the record. I am not sure if this is helpful or not.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Thanks guyz. Louche, that does help actually. I think my mind is coloured by my sister's experience with her first baby - two weeks late, induced, after five hours of agony he got stuck, she had to have an emergency C-section, and it turned out he was 11lb 3, and would never had got through her pelvis, though no-one spotted this before birth.
When I've asked the midwives if they can tell how big Fonzbert is, they just look at me indulgently and say something like 'oh it's fine'.
Posted by Damon's Off (Member # 3) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Though frankly can't be arsed with doing sex, another supposed way of 'ripening the cervix' (ew...)
You could always have a wank. Not that I would know anything about these things. Honest. But it helps things along quite merrily.
So I've heard.
Yeah, okay, I should probably stick to lurking.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: When I've asked the midwives if they can tell how big Fonzbert is, they just look at me indulgently and say something like 'oh it's fine'.
I guess they don't want to worry you with the science part. I guess, the less you know, the more positive your outlook will be. Midwives don't go around boasting how they shit this one lady up real good. It will be fine. You should probably go have a wank though. If you don't, I will.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
That was alright. How do you feel?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I feel a bit soiled. I wish you'd turned your webcam off.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I suppose really I could have stopped watching but then I wouldn't have known how it ended.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
It's just you and Tilde than need to accept me on the eggs bock now.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I did it last night.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I would have done it sooner but I have to stretch my cables across the lounge to plug the xbox into my router to connect to xbox live and it makes me remember how Benway used to berate me for my poor networking and I shed a tear for poor dead Benway.
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
Dang will like the fact that you mixed up "that" and "than".
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: Dang will like the fact that you mixed up "that" and "than".
I've never done that before in my life.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Has anyone added me yet on exbox?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I was going to yesterday, but remembered only having signed into Xbox live and to do that I'd had to unplug the computer so couldn't find out what your name was.
I remembered it being something to do with a cat...
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Has anyone added me yet on exbox?
What am I? Chopped liver?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Thanks guyz. Louche, that does help actually. I think my mind is coloured by my sister's experience with her first baby - two weeks late, induced, after five hours of agony he got stuck, she had to have an emergency C-section, and it turned out he was 11lb 3, and would never had got through her pelvis, though no-one spotted this before birth.
Yowch! 11lb 3 is very big for a first baby. Mind, it's not the weight, it's the proportions, as far as I can make it. Both my sister's kids weighed in at 9+lb but both were long babies, rather than big babies, if that makes sense? Maybe you are having a long baby, that will just schwwooosh out. If you've not had it yet, of course. I would like news when it happens, is someone deputised to post when you birth?
Posted by Cherry In Hove (Member # 49) on :
I don't think this place is quite as streamlined as other places for birth announcements I'm afraid Louche.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
But someone will know! And I want to.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
herbs' avatar is creeping me out...
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: herbs' avatar is creeping me out...
Yeah, maybe Fonzbert came into the world as Mollie Sugden went out.
[ 02.07.2009, 05:52: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: But someone will know! And I want to.
Try repeatedly sending her text messages, emails, and facebook messages asking whether the baby has arrived yet. Pregnant women love this. The really appreciate the interest, and it's probably not something anyone else has thought to do.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I've stalked Herbs on Facebook. Well, either that or I've sent a message to a bizarre bearded lady yelling 'hello! It's Louche here'. Which could lead to a whole new dimension in my internet career.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: herbs' avatar is creeping me out...
Yeah, maybe Fonzbert came into the world as Mollie Sugden went out.
Either way, there was pussy involved.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
From beyond the grave...
Fonzbert still within, and showing no sign of emergence. Have an induction booked for next week. Boo.
Apparently his head is right down, but his arse is still right in my ribs, leading me to believe that he is long and thin and will eventually slip out like a greased ferret.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Apparently his head is right down, but his arse is still right in my ribs, leading me to believe that he is long and thin and will eventually slip out like a greased ferret.
Optimum solution all round. Being pregnant in this weather must cocking suck, though. My mother has never quite forgiven me for not emerging until August in 1976. Apparently she lived in the bath with the shower on cold on her head for a month.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Fonzbert still within, and showing no sign of emergence. Have an induction booked for next week. Boo.
I had to have one of those, in weather conditions similar to these. Initially I was being all 'natural birth' about it, and wanted to leave him in till he was ready. But by the end of it I was just like 'drag the fucker out, I don't care any more.' So that's what they did.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Anyone know if the Fonz turned up over the weekend ?
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
No facebookery from Herbs over the weekend, so here's fingers crossed..
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Naoooooo......
Lots of odd twinges yesterday - with him grooving about whenever the Wimbledon crowd cheered - but no dice. Looks like he'll be dragged out on Wednesday. Unless my acupuncture later today has the desired effect.
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
Stretch and sweep! It got Alice going properly.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I had one of those last week. Hideously painful, as 'cervix unfavourable'. Sob.
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
Oh dear! This bit does fade into memory very rapidly - like waiting ages for a bus, you forget about it as soon as the thing arrives.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I've heard really good things about the use of acupuncture Hoibs so fingers crossed for you. If not, don't worry - C & E were both induced. Email me if you want to find out more about the process and how it went etc.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Herbs, try and have it when I'm getting shown round the Homerton's maternity ward so I can say "Hi!" while you're in labour. I'm sure you'll have time for a fun chat inbetween agonising contractions, right?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Are you up the duff again then London?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Yesterday, I saw a woman get off the train and walk through town wearing a short cropped shirt and a pair of tights as if they were leggings - sans skirt or shorts. Is this a new fashion up in that London, or do you think she was just a bit of an exhibitionist/nutter?
Gusset-chic FTL!
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Maybe the trouser-thieves had gotten to her? They are a big problem at the moment.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Maybe the trouser-thieves had gotten to her? They are a big problem at the moment.
Do they look like Benny Hill?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Yes, but you cant tell usually because they are tiny - like in dang's film.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Talking of films, is it true that Johnny Depp will play the white half of Michael Jackson in the inevitable biopic?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Hasn't he done that once already?
?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Wasn't today the day they were pulling the Fonz out of Herbs ?
I hope it went OK....
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Yep. I keep checking in for news. I mean, I'm sure she's not busy or anything. Tsk.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: Yep. I keep checking in for news. I mean, I'm sure she's not busy or anything. Tsk.
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Nice one.
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