Clearly everyone is excited by the prospect of Thorn's 7000th post. It's going to be something special, make no mistake. So, while he's sweating over the Post of all Posts, why don't we use this thread to speculate on what it might contain when it arrives. Also, perhaps we could use this thread to remember the best bits of Thorn Davis. I mean his posts, not, for example, his black cock.
I'll be back shortly to add my thoughts to this, a thread for Thorn Davis, possibly TMO's M.V.P.
[ 10.02.2005, 09:37: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Ooh! I wrote this over on the Ikea thread but I shall move it here:
quote: Re: Thorn doing something big for 7000. What could it be? I am wondering what he could pull off that would be of the magnitude of, say, that time Ben said that if he got enough responses on a certain thread he would post a picture of his scanned-in cock... and then DID. What would we like Thorn to do? What is there left for Thorn to do?
Best bits of Thorn. I loved the early Sex Is Pain stuff, when he wondered about making his g/f give him head while he played a computer game, and everyone thought he was a misoggo. That was cool. And the time he inspired Benway to do a graph explaining scientifically the way Thorn's humour works. And the Fun Salad, of course.
Worst bits of Thorn. Wanking on about Robocop.
[ 10.02.2005, 06:42: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I think you have scared him off now. Expectation is too high and everyone is watching. It’s like when Martin tries to make me do Eric Cartman impressions in front of people. I cant do it on demand you see, it has to be spontaneous.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Tell Martin I'll do it. My Cartman impression is so finely honed now that I sometimes burst into it spontaneously: at business meetings, for example, or whilst doing a sex. I like to think it's one of my finer attributes.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I liked the way Thorn introduced himself to the forum - by having some indecipherable argument with SilverGinger5 that seemed to extend over the whole forum, and then when people slagged him off, he just slagged them off back.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Hah, I know what you mean.
A friend of mine recently started humming the theme tune to Thomas the Tank Engine during sex (with his girlfriend). She told everyone - it was great!
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
coming up to 1000 posts there, Abby. Planning anything exciting?
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: A friend of mine recently started humming the theme tune to Thomas the Tank Engine during sex (with his girlfriend). She told everyone - it was great!
Sorry but was she like "It was great" or the fact that she told everyone, was great?
Just trying to get some tips, I am going to a pub for a singles night on saturday. Its a bit dodgey cos its one of those pubs where everyone you look at seems like they should be in bed being tucked up by a loving mummy with a cup of hot cocoa, Kovacs fancy an exclusive paedo-meat? (Finnegans, behind the cinema in Ealing Broadway)
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
If I was shagging somebody, and they hummed anything, then it would be ungreat. Although, NWA seem to think that when a ho is suckin' a young g's dick, they should gently place the balls in the mouth and Hmmmmmmm. Those skanky ass cum buckets always be bitin' it though. Bitches need to learn how to do that shit correct.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
What I like is, not the music, but the sound the train makes in Ivor the Engine. I like it when a man is pounding me from behind and then he starts to make the train noise: 'Pssshhhh-de-couuuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff' [quite hard to do the phonetic noises here - can any of our other readers who grew up in the 70s help me out?] in time with his thrusts, faster and faster, until he comes. Now that's great.
I don't like it when he makes the 'Whoo-wooo!' train whistle when he comes though. That's just SO wrong.
[ 10.02.2005, 07:30: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I meant great that she told everyone. He was kind of standing next to her gently prodding her shoulder going "no baby, no dont tell them...baby please...".
I dont think she got any kind of sexual kick out of it, quite spoiled the moment apparently.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Obviously the best thing about Thorn's posting career has been his progression from frat boy bum chum of SG5 to one of the most consistent posters in the TMO board world. I'm grateful to him for his opening exchanges with SG5 because they prompted me to write the rap music lyric "I ope you got detol coz bad man gonna scratch ya!", which I love.
Since evolving from his putrid pupa stage, the butterfly of Davis is now a creature of wonder, fluttering through the forum raining bile, bitterness and razor sharp analysis.
My Thorn Davis Best Bits would include the day he got drunk and started a love-in thread, rambling about how much he "fuckin' loved" every member of the forum before being told off by his Dad for drinking too much.
His request for someone with the technical skill to turn a recorded telephone conversation to an aged dyslexic who had lost their tabey into an MPEG file to play to the forum. Something I was reminded of only yesterday when I saw a sign "Lost puppy. A family pet much mist."
His There and Back Again: A Thorn's Tale thread, which helped keep the ring of power alive and contributed to the coming of the dark ages and the downfall of the boards.
As for his 7000th post. I hope it will be a hideous tapestry woven from all the little snippets of materiel Thorn thought better of posting over the years.
Oh, have we moved on from this now?
[ 10.02.2005, 07:36: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I don't like it when he makes the 'Whoo-wooo!' train whistle when he comes though. That's just SO wrong.
He could also cover your eyes intermittenly and go "Huuuuuh- HUUUH!", like you're going through a tunnel. Then charge you £4 for a can of warm stella, and lock the toilet.
eta: Sorry Jonesy.
[ 10.02.2005, 07:41: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
'Salright Benway. Pretending to be Ivor the Engine during sex (especially in the episode where a small, red dragon with a shrill voice lives inside Ivor's boiler - which is fucking wicked) isn't a far cry from Thorn playing computer games during oral sex - so it's totally on topic, in a roundabout way.
Also, this belongs in this thread, plus it's quality and deserves repeating.
If Thorn gets to 7000 posts I'll cut my balls off.
[ 10.02.2005, 07:48: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
London, I'm doing the whole Ivor thing in my head here and to me it sounds more like a pssshhhh-t-cum, pssshhhh-t-cum kind of noise.
Favourite Thorn moment since I have been here:- I don't think that there is one in particular. I just love his sunny disposition.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
[RETRO KIDZ TEEVEE MEMORIES] PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal PUFF, And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff.
OH PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail Jackie kept a lookout perched on PUFF's gigantic tail,
Noble kings and princes would bow when'er they came, Pirate ships would lower their flags when PUFF roared out his name
OH, PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
A dragon lives forever but not so little boys Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys. One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more And PUFF that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.
His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain, PUFF no longer went to play along the cherry lane. Without his life-long friend, PUFF could not be brave, So PUFF that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave.
Oh! PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee, PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee. [/RETRO KIDZ TEEVEE MEMORIES]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I don't think I could last all the way through the song. Could give it a go though, if you're up for it.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm getting really excited about thorn's post now.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:From Boy Racer's Bumper Book of Confidently Authoritative Opinions on Every Subject on God's Green Earth: The authentic Ivor the engine noise is psssshhhhhhhh-t-couffff (repeat, speed up, shorten)
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I'm getting really excited about thorn's post now.
What do you think it's going to be about? Will it be shock and awe or something sentimental and reflective? Will he have a new user name? Will it be disgusting or charming? Do you think it will be themed around the number 7000
Posted by George the Robot (Member # 681) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: Also, this belongs in this thread, plus it's quality and deserves repeating.
If Thorn gets to 7000 posts I'll cut my balls off.
Cheers Jonesy! Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by George the Robot:
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: Also, this belongs in this thread, plus it's quality and deserves repeating.
If Thorn gets to 7000 posts I'll cut my balls off.
Cheers Jonesy!
You're welcome.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
I have coffee. I have marshmallows. The fire is on. The curtains are shut. The lights are off. I just cancelled an appointment with the doctor. This had better be worth it.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I expect Thorn will never post again. Just to piss me off. That's the kind of thing he'd do. The bastard.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I'd like a little mpeg. I think he should deliver his post to camera, and post that. That would be nice, like when celebrities beam in their thanks via videolinks when they can't be there themselves. That way, not only could we have the brilliance of his words, but we could get to see him too. It would be like being Octavia or something. That would be excellent.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I think that it's going to be an epic. Grand and sweeping, it'll manage to nail all of the aspects of thr0n that we love. But, better than that, his energy and inventiveness will inject a new vigour into the boards as a whole, ratcheting up the quality, and drawing out the lurkers. It'll be very funny and shocking, but also heart breaking and poignant. It'll touch all the bases needed for a home run, sealing his position as the natural heir to the throne. We'll be textually tossing him on our shoulders as the ticker tape of lols cascades around the thread. We'll hold him aloft for all the internet to see, and proudly cry "Go THORN! GO THORN!", and he'll beam like a death ray, knowing that for his 7000 post, he truly is number one.
*Ka-Buff!*
The flash of the photographers bulb, the moment captured forever. Applause and whopping as we fade to black.
[ 10.02.2005, 08:28: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fionnula the Cooler: I just cancelled an appointment with the doctor.
Not again, fionnula.
[ 10.02.2005, 08:32: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I'd like a little mpeg. I think he should deliver his post to camera, and post that. That would be nice, like when celebrities beam in their thanks via videolinks when they can't be there themselves. That way, not only could we have the brilliance of his words, but we could get to see him too. It would be like being Octavia or something. That would be excellent.
Especially if he did it whilst playing a video game and receiving fellatio at the same time, to show his multiskilling...erm...skills.
[ 10.02.2005, 08:29: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
And pretending to be Ivor the Engine. That's vitally important.
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
So natural train-esque noises are cool whoops aint, how about if I went somewhere down the middle and went for in the jungle?
ah wimbawet, ah wimbawet. O Wumbawet, o wumbawet. OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH OOOOOOHHHHHHHH WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH Zawibambambaweeeehh
any takers?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Actually, scrub that. I want the mpeg of the speech while Thorn is receiving head and playing a video game etc, but while this is going on, BEN, his dad, is behind him being Ivor the Engine, intermittently putting his hand over Thorn's eyes and taking it away again, and then saying 'Huuuur-HUURRR!' like going through a tunnel from time to time, like Benway said. That's what I'd like.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
dear....god..
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I know. It's almost more than I can bear.
[ 10.02.2005, 08:38: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Remember when he got to 5,000 posts? Single line. Don't fucking touch me. Then he disappeared, to resurface only when TMO had started to bemoan his absence with waling and gnashing of teeth and shredding of garments etc. (I think London asked where he was).
I best he posts a single profanity, then disappears, traceless into the void of the internet.
Also, does anyone still have the picture of ben's cock?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I don't think Thorn Davis is alive anymore.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
It's like when somebody is going down on you, and you're so close but it....just....isn't.....happening. I'm getting sweaty and angry now.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: It's like when somebody is going down on you, and you're so close but it....just....isn't.....happening. I'm getting sweaty and angry now.
lol
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
NO! Wait! Fuck.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Oh Thorn Davis, oh Thorn Davis, how lovely is your post count? You’re one away from seven grand. So take a bow, have a big hand. Oh Thorn Davis, oh Thorn Davis...
Oh.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
In its own way, it was kind of beautiful. Simple, warm, of and about laughter. I liked it.
[ 10.02.2005, 09:26: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Thanks for all the good times, Thorn.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
6996, 6997, 6998,
*reload*
6999, 7000, 7001...
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
It would be cool if we could view all of the uploaded tmo image files in a gallery. I bet there's some good ones there.
[ 10.02.2005, 09:35: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Yeah, Misc once told me there are about five thousand TMO pics on his server.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: It would be cool if we could view all of the uploaded tmo image files in a gallery. I bet there's some good ones there.
That would RAWWWWWWWXXXXXKKK!!1!!!11116
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I'll do a few of these tonight. My shopping skills are pretty poor but favourite subjects include Jonesy and Kovacs. Oh, and Jonesy.
Posted by George the Robot (Member # 681) on :
*sigh* Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
lol.
@Robot balls.
Now I do.
[ 10.02.2005, 09:49: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I don't. Can you explain, Jonesy?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
..and so we said to ourselves, y'know what? Wouldn't it be really cool if we could actually browse through all of the TMO pictures that have been uploaded onto the server? So, we went to our drawing boards at the campus in Redmond, and came up with something that we really think our users are going to love. Rather than having to randomly type in words to see if any pictures come up, users can now browse the images from their desktops, using what we call 'thumbnails', which are tiny representaions of the images.
And, we got to thinking just how useful this would be. It means that now users can access their TMO image files when they're on the move, for example from a cellphone powered by Windows CE. Or your kids can access them from the PCs that we supply to schools across the country.
In the future, we're confident that using thumbnails of TMO image files will become common place, like making that cup of coffee in the morning, or turning on the TV when you get home from work. More and more devices will be capable of storing and reading uploaded TMO image files, and this will all be managed from servers within our own homes. They will be seamlessly intergrated with our music collections, our movies - even our shopping lists! And the amazing thing is, we're not talking about ten, or even five years in the future. Our developers at the Redmond campus are working on ways to intergrate uploaded TMO image files right now - we can't see Steve Jobs doing this with his piece of shit ipod - and we think our users can't see this either.
[ 10.02.2005, 09:58: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I think Ben is going to photoshop some images or something. Maybe.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
[ 10.02.2005, 10:05: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
neville and louise, with their heads swapped?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: neville and louise, with their heads swapped?
Actually no. That's the real Ne-vile and Louise. Here they are with swapped heads: Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
jesus.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I need a lie down
[ 10.02.2005, 10:26: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Those blonde bunches actually suit him.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
nevile body lousie face looks a bit like my sex offender roommate.
Posted by fish (Member # 22) on :
No, forum, no cry; No, forum, no cry; No, forum, no cry; No, forum, no cry.
'Cause - 'cause - 'cause I remember when a I used to sit An’ talk about girls, games and wanking, Oba - obaserving the 'ypocrites - yeah! - Mingle with the good people at meats, yeah! Girlfriends I’ve had, oh, girlfriends I’ve lost Along the way, yeah! I’ve hit seven thousan’, and I can't but help to post; So dry your tears, I seh. Yeah!
No, forum, no cry; No, forum, no cry. Eh, yeah! A little darlin', don't shed no tears: No, forum, no cry. Eh!
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
lololol - none of my reject 'shops are remotely as good as that.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
toplol
Posted by fish (Member # 22) on :
I'm a bit rusty as I haven't opened photoshop in months. This one is still one of my favourites:
Or for a bit of nostalgia:
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Those are excellent, Fish. Hang on.....does the Thatch have a robot hand or some sort of electronic claw like grabbing device instead of a left hand?
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
[ 10.02.2005, 16:36: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
Captions anyone?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Posted by fish (Member # 22) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: Hang on.....does the Thatch have a robot hand or some sort of electronic claw like grabbing device instead of a left hand?
I hadn't noticed the claw before - the body (and hand?) belongs to Dame Thora Hurd. Perhaps she is Mrs Darth Vader?
Oh no! How could I forget this one???
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
die laughing (Im gonna die anyway) Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Jumbo guilty-lol @ wheelchair Jonesy, a couple of real old-school ones for you:
Steely goes Hollywood
Bandy's childhood fantasy Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster:
Captions anyone?
No-one cared that Misc had dropped a soho steamer in his pants. They were even proud.
[ 10.02.2005, 19:07: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster:
Captions anyone?
Physic: Guess where *this* just was!
Posted by fish (Member # 22) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster:
Captions anyone?
Smell my finger!?
[ 10.02.2005, 19:20: Message edited by: fish ]
Posted by fish (Member # 22) on :
Doh! 60 seconds too late!
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Yeah, mine was funnier.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Come on misc, write a script to display all of the uploaded images. Please?
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster:
Captions anyone?
"WELCOME TO CANNIBALS ANNONYMOUS"
Girl white shirt: This guy on the left looks tasty. Dude grey blue shit: Not as tasty as the one behind the camera. Physick: I'm so hungry I'm considering self mutilation.
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
I like Tom Boy.
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: I like Tom Boy.
*blush* Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster:
Captions anyone?
kellifer and misc exchanged concerned glances as the young ming the merciless began to get lairy
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :