Ha! If he thinks that academics' lives are 'measly' he's going to be in for a right shock when he gets out of university and gets a real job.
I read that story this morning and it just kind of irritated the fuck out of me. Maybe because I was lucky to have almost uniformly imaginative, witty and helpful lecturers at university (with one exception - the guy who took my screenwriting module in the final term - he was a cretin). But also, it seems like a really unimaginitive schtick - lecturers trying to be 'hip', having bad hygiene etc. For one, I don't think these are more prevalent in academia than anywhere else - I mean the 'hip' thing applies much more to office managers. Academics mostly seem like they couldn't care less about being 'hip'. Peep Show seemed far moer accurate with its portrayal of a snobby, self-aggradising history lecturer. You know what - I think that is what annoys me about those comments. They sound more like what someone thinks they saw, than what they're actually seeing "Academics? Oh yeah - they're out of touch with bad hygiene and hair growing out of their ears". Whereas I reckon if they actually stopped and looked at their lecturers they'd probably realise that that isn't really the case.
[ 26.01.2006, 05:51: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
It makes students sound like the biggest ***** of all time.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
Yeah, it's self important of a bunch of unwashed, lazy students to think that lecturers care about trying to hip up to conect to them on a friendly level.
My lecturers were all fantastic - the subject for half of my degree was the problem, but I loved the lecturers and my tutor was best of all.
[ 26.01.2006, 05:48: Message edited by: Benny the Ball ]
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
The objectionable facial hair is fairly accurate (in Engineering anyway). And I did once do a module that was based primarily around the lecturer's own book. Mostly, academics are totally into their subject and are very enthusiastic about students seeing the light too.
I shall be forwarding the link round, though.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I don't know. I hated all of my teachers up until I went to University, purely because they were asking me to do things. At University, I was able to have a pint with one of my tutors, a dude called Eammon who taught around social psychology and youth culture, but mostly I just slouched at the back of the class, stoned and drunk, only speaking to the teachers to hand in my essays. Classes were filled with idiots. People writing notes using three colours of pen. I was apathetic towards everybody. I don't remember most of the tutors, and I didn't go to lectures. The only really useful part of going to University itself was the library..I quite liked sitting on the higher floors, looking at the sun set across the lake, then taking home a load of books to read during the night. The main experiences of University were drugs and hunger.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: The objectionable facial hair is fairly accurate (in Engineering anyway).
All engineers have facial hair though. Fact. Especially civil engineers.
It's the female ones I feel sorry for.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
They've just taken the amusing and oddball comments out of what might be a useful survey, though, haven't they. Shame really that our most trusted and traditional broadcasting institution can't write a news story about education without reducing it to daft trivia.
Having said that, the whole idea of a survey that asks students to "vent their grievances", and only samples 648 people, is hardly worth talking about anyway.
The best thing about this story is that it confirms my impression that I miss nothing by not reading any form of news journalism.
*takes out compact... trims nose hair*
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I was fairly indifferent to most of my tutors (there was only one I could describe as genuinely inspiring) but they all seemed like fairly normal people. The students being quoted here sound like they are auditioning for Child's Play.
"They never wash and they all smell of wee. Hehehehe.."
"It's like when you are playing Guess Who? and Roger has the silly hair. They all look like that with stupid beards and stuff."
"And, and, and, and they have brown chord jackets and things. With leather elbow pads, like what they have and everything like that."
"They were beneath me, part of a Jewish conspiracy and deserved to die."
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I could have been on Child's Play, but I was ill when they came round to our school. My mate ended up on it, earning alright money apparently. Now he works for Edge magazine. I hate him.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
My ex girlfriend was on there. She had to be 'woopsed' about twenty times. Stupid girl.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
were you going out when she was on it? Like, watching it at home, holding your tiny head in shame?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
What the hell are you talking about? I literally have no idea what you're talking about. What the fuck is Child's Play? Isn't it a film or something?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
No, her mum taped it. She showed it to me about 15 years after it was on the telly. I didn't really watch it; I was just staring at her mother's breasts.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: What the hell are you talking about? I literally have no idea what you're talking about. What the fuck is Child's Play? Isn't it a film or something?
In your lifetime it was repackaged as Children Say the Funniest Things or something like that.
Children are given a word, they have to describe it, the adults have to guess it. Simple really. Child's play in fact.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
That was when ITV was at the height of its light entertainment powers.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Also, I think that thorn is transforming into Mark from Peep Show.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Sorry MNIJ. We broke the thread already.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Child's play was on London Weekend Television, and maybe that wasn't broadcast to The Lizard in Cornwall, where thron and VP are from.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
It was presented, as all the best programmes are, by Michael Aspel. But not Una Stubbs.
New TMO record - from original subject to shit in 19 posts..
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
*shrugs*
you know. Whatever. I thought that maybe The Ghost of George the Robot was going to turn things around with some blisteringly innappropriate Roy Whiting / George Best humour, but that never happened. He probably couldn't be bothered.
Posted by Ghost of George (Member # 860) on :
KIDS SAY THE FUNNIEST THINGS...
And then she said "Please stop, you're hurting me!" Ha ha ha
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
sorry, TMO.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
One of the courses I took at uni was taught by Hermione Lee. She was loathsome and humourless and put me off Virginia Woolf so comprehensively I get a skin crawling sweat on if I even see a copy of To the Lighthouse.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
I quite like Ghost of George. Is he a fish troll?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm assuming it's a vehicle for another forumite.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
hello kovacs
Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
On a related (vaguely) note, apparently more than half of the UK population don't accept evolution theory! Yet another BBC link.
What do TMOers think?
Posted by Toilet Duck (Member # 801) on :
I do surveys for Opinionpoll sometimes, and they didn't ask me what I think of my lecturers. Presumably because they knew I'd say that they're hard-working, human, and not bad people to be around. That survey was pants.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by My Name Is Joe: On a related (vaguely) note, apparently more than half of the UK population don't accept evolution theory! Yet another BBC link.
What do TMOers think?
Last night I was drinking with a friend who was trying to convince me that it was fine to believe something to be true purely because it's what you want. She then went on to cite her belief in fairies as an example. So, I'm like *whatever* about this new evolution revelation. As long as people persist in believing in some kind of paternal omnipotent power, following religions, and just making shit up, then really, what do you expect. People on the whole are fucking idiots.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
i want to believe in fairies. i want to believe in... anything.
people suck. people should be killed.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
I've started going to 'mass', twice now in two weeks, and I must admit I'm quite enjoying it.
There's quite a sense of community about the place, lots of young families, old people and so on, and the whole ritual is comforting in a way. The priest talks about poverty in Africa, or the evils of violence – all sensible, decent stuff I can relate to.
That said, I honestly can’t say I actually believe in any of the supernatural stuff associated with religion, so when I hear people mouthing off about intelligent design or how the bible is literal truth, I can’t help thinking they’re being wilfully stupid.
I suppose that makes me a hypocrite.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: On a related (vaguely) note, apparently more than half of the UK population don't accept evolution theory!
I don't accept the public.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Who saw that Richard Dawkins series about the fact that religion is evil and those who believe in it retarded? It ruled.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
people who believe in religion are not retarded.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I hope that Mr. Dawkins used the word 'retarded'.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
when I was little, I loved George Michael's Careless Whisper. I used to believe that the line "guilty feet have got no rhythm" meant that you could find a criminal by making him dance, and if he couldn't dance, he was guilty. Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
People who believe in religion sing more than those who do not. FACT.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Some of those music ones are totally shit.
In the song 'Not Your Bottle' by the Dandy Warhols, when the singer says, "Passing out hits of LSD." I thought he said, "It's my LSD." To my embarrassment when I sang that out loud!
Mmm. Embarrassing.
[ 26.01.2006, 09:58: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I quite like these, as there's an appealing logic to them:
quote: used to believe that if you had a big enough magnet, you could reverse the rotation of the Earth and time would go backwards.
quote: When I was quite young I believed that if you left glass in the sun long enough, that it would turn into diamonds and crystals (depending on the colour of the glass obviously). I had quite a collection of glass sitting on my bedroom windowsill until one day, my mum threw them all out and told me the horrible truth. I believed for years after that, that they had finally 'turned' and she had taken them for herself and every time she 'bought' new diamond earrings or a sapphire necklace I'd look at them suspiciously.
I also like this one:
quote: My friend told her daughter that the icecream truck only played music when they were out of icecream. Another one told her kids that it was the music truck - driving around, just playing nice music for everyone.
I imagine telling shit like this is about the only fun thing about being a parent.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Have they got one on there about... hang on, was it that if you leave lemonade out long enough it turns to cream soda? Or if you leave milk out long enough it turns to cream soda?
I think it was the former that I was told in 1974, and believed for years -- though the lemonade always got tidied up before the hypothesis could be proven.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
They also used to say that if you shake milk in a jar for long enough, you get not a milkshake, but cheese.
And if you put seeds on some blotting paper, "mustard and cress" will grow.
Anyway I saw Just Like Heaven, which is good if you like (i) San Francisco and/or (ii) 13 Going on 30.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote: When I was young, around 7, my Dad warned me that if I played with my penis it would eventually turn black and fall off. Well, he was a recently-retired nurse, and I had absolutely no reason to disbeleive him - he'd given me tons of information on the human body already. Of course this was completely and totally untrue. However, I beleived it for a long time, and didn't really discover masturbation until I was thirteen, after I managed to convince myself that it was a lie. Actually, in his mind, he wasn't lying to me - I asked my Dad about it and he said he really beleived it, as a kid and still today.
He's 70 years old. For his entire life, ALL SEVENTY YEARS OF IT, he truly and totally beleived that masturbation would cause penises to turn black and fall off. He's probably never masturbated in his life.
The thing is, though, it was probably because he was raised in a family that were very likely prudes. I guess we can't really blame him. Still funny, though!
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: Have they got one on there about... hang on, was it that if you leave lemonade out long enough it turns to cream soda? Or if you leave milk out long enough it turns to cream soda?
I think it was the former that I was told in 1974, and believed for years -- though the lemonade always got tidied up before the hypothesis could be proven.
I was convinced that if you left a Milky Bar (surely the name was an indication?) out in the sun it would melt into milk. I even sacraficed half a bar in the name of science, until my mum threw the resulting gloop away- despite my protestations that the experiment wasn't finished yet.
Cress seeds just need fibrous paper and water to grow.
What's cream soda?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: What's cream soda?
Why don't you know what cream soda is? Was it only around in the 1970s, like... Cresta, "It's Frothy, Man", or Kvetchkins?
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Bilco used to bring Cream Soda around on their van.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: Why don't you know what cream soda is? Was it only around in the 1970s, like... Cresta, "It's Frothy, Man", or Kvetchkins?
Rubbish. I drank Cresta in the '90s. It was the cheapest lemonade in the shop at just 20p for two fizzy litres. For some reason, one of my friends decided that she got high when she drank it so we had a look at the ingredients. On the label, we found a phone number "Any comments or questions? Call us on 0800...". We called and asked if sodium citrate was hallucinogenic. The woman on the other end of the phone said "Er. Not as far as I'm aware." Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Oh my...
quote: I used to believe that everyone else in the world had an alternative existence as Dragon's and the only time they turned into humans was when I looked at them. They all knew I was the only one that wasn't really a dragon, but no one was allowed to tell me - not even my Mum. To be fair it could be true...
Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
When I was very young, 5 or 6, I believed all TV was live, so if it was daytime on TV but nightime outside, they had to be filming in Australia.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
When I was young, I used to believe that black people were faking it. I remember trying to prove it to my dad - "Look dad - the bottom of his hands are white!"
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Cresta was just an example of something else VP might not have heard of. Oi... *chuckles nostalgically* who remembers Space Dust? Oh my word what were them puppets called, used to be on TV... I thought it was only me remembered it, what was it, Bagpuss and the Clangers? Fucking hell if you watch that now, the people who done it were definitely on LSD they were tripping their nuts off! There's one mouse called Charlie who's always sniffing, and a teddy bear called Big Nob!
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I genuinely did believe that "guerrillas" were a race of evolved simians, like the ones I'd seen in Tarzan cartoons.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Do you remember Captain Pugwash, Kovacs?
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Misc! nobody else I know remembers Captain Pugwash! That programme was insane, it was full of dirty jokes you never got at the time... the evil pirate was called Blow-Me Down, and the first mate's name was Peter Phile! NO LIE!
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I also genuinely believed that swedes (the foodstuff) were called "Grandma's Golden Vegetable".
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote: i used to believe that babies were dumb because their heads were only filled with hair. as they grew hair it made more room for things to be learned, and by the time they got to be old people and balding, it was because they had finally pushed all the hair out by totally filling thier heads with things learned.
Now that's inspired.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Sometimes I heart you, Professor.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Lol @ hair.
I used to think that it was the trees waving that made the wind. Perfectly logical at the time.
Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: I genuinely did believe that "guerrillas" were a race of evolved simians, like the ones I'd seen in Tarzan cartoons.
I'm not sure if it was quite this sophisticated, but I definitely remember thinking that guerillas were apes, fighting to overthrow humans.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: "And, and, and, and they have brown chord jackets and things. With leather elbow pads, like what they have and everything like that."
Lol. Kids say the darndest things.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote: My father is an avid republican. When I was in preschool, we'd watch the news together, and whenever a picture of Bill Clinton came up, he'd point and say "That's the wicked wizard of the East. He kidnaps children."
I proceeded to go to my preschool class and warn all my friends about this evil wizard.
quote: When we were very young, my sister and I wrote letters to President Reagan. My sister asked him to "change the rules" so that we would be allowed to run while we were playing around the swimming pool.
quote: My cousin told me there was a button in London which only the Queen could press and it would blow up the world. I prayed for a very long time that the queen would not get angry!!
quote: I used to hear adults using the phrase "sectarian violence" in relation to Northern Ireland and think it had something to do with garden secateurs. I also thought the "Cod War" between Britain and Iceland in the 70s was some sort of battle being fought by the fish themselves.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I think I should wise up if I can't spell "guerillas".
although, LOL! if you type it into Google, look what you get!
quote:See results for: gorillas
maybe I was right all along -- I was much more clever as a four year-old than I've ever been since.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I also genuinely thought "Blue Suede Shoes" was "Bruce Wayne Shoes", but when I realised my mistake, I genuinely (and successfully) said to my brother, in front of my mum, "remember when you thought the Elvis song was Bruce Wayne Shoes," and because it was so charming and plausible, my mum bought it, thinking my brother's (actually valid & honest) denials were just born of embarrassment.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
i regularly order vodka with cream soda. it's the nicest!
tonight was shit. but anyway, cream soda is almost as nice as vanilla vodka
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
and now i'm watching joey. i should just kill myself!
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
cut myself on the grater. life sucks
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
jesus, vikram
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
i wish jesus would save me. i need saving!
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
Today's Joey featured Christina Ricci. It was almost funny! I also watched the Andy Ritcher repeats. That were almost funny too.
My favourite thing today was having a go at my housemate (there's Lily who is lovely, and Joshua who really fucks me off). I hope to have a proper argument sometime. With luck he'll leave and Benway can move in.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I guess cream soda never made it to our house as although I have a sweet tooth and like cream and evaporated milk, I've never liked rich creamy drinks, inc milkshakes and liqueurs. I had to drink a shot of Baileys the other night though, at the horseracing chat board meat, as a mad, barely conscious, drunk Glaswegian bought me one insisting, "you're a girl, this is what girls drink."
I remember my belief in fairies was bolstered by some pretty solid evidenc when I was about 7. I got a Crystal Barbie for Christmas, which until my best mate Helen got Dreamglow Barbie for her birthday in May, was the best Barbie to have.
Barbie slept on my bed one night (I think the toys were in rotation for this special privilege), and I carefully removed her glittery shoes, earrings and necklace and put them on the floor next to my bed. In the morning they were gone. They couldn't have slipped down any floorboards; there was absolutely nowhere for them to have gone. So obviously the fairies took them to wear. I never ever found those accessories, and have yet to hear a convincing explanation for their loss.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I think the final lines of your post were also lost, VP!
quote:But on some nights, when the moon is just a sliver in the sky like the last curl of butter on your knife, and I am in that strange and special place beween wakefulness and sleep... I hear a patter on the floorboards of the bedroom where I now sleep, and half-opening one eye, catch the glint of tiny silver shoes, the wink of little jewels, as the fairies show off the treasures they stole.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by vikram: and now i'm watching joey. i should just kill myself!
At least five have filled that awkward post-Home and Away slot with something better than Family Affairs. Also is it just me, or is Joey's little brother, cousin, housemate, whatevs... the reincarnation of Jerry Seinfeld?
Not dead? Oh right.
[ 27.01.2006, 04:14: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by zebraboy (Member # 196) on :
I used to think that Wales was a glistering metropolis of sheer crystal towers ?
I also wanted to find and make a point of avoiding the monstrous gannet drain that was cheekily depriving my dad of his weekly wage.
[ 27.01.2006, 04:15: Message edited by: zebraboy ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by vikram: With luck he'll leave and Benway can move in.
Let me know, brother!I stil maintain that we'd make a great pair, like Maverick and Goose.
benway and vikram blame each other for another poorly thought out guest list Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
quote:Originally posted by vikram: i wish jesus would save me. i need saving!
ETA: I like your tux
[ 27.01.2006, 05:34: Message edited by: Bandy ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Let me know, brother!I stil maintain that we'd make a great pair, like Maverick and Goose.
Goose dies.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 27.01.2006, 06:08: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
but we could be like maverick and goose before goose dies. Cruising bars wearing tight fitting naval uniforms, having $20 competitions to get carnal knowledge of chicks, doing duets, having each other's backs, trusting each other with our lives. The kind of relationship that real men should have with each other. Real men don't pansy around sending love letters to each over the internet. Real men go two's up with inhebriated women, and high five for the camera.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Like the Will Young video...
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I do not know this thing "Will Young Video"
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Barbie slept on my bed one night (I think the toys were in rotation for this special privilege), and I carefully removed her glittery shoes, earrings and necklace and put them on the floor next to my bed. In the morning they were gone. They couldn't have slipped down any floorboards; there was absolutely nowhere for them to have gone. So obviously the fairies took them to wear. I never ever found those accessories, and have yet to hear a convincing explanation for their loss.
I used to get this all the time. Now I'm told it's dyspraxia. I prefer the fairies explanation.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Right class, assignment for this weekend is some of your standard Vikram & Benway slash.
Scenarios I want you to think about include: Vikram and Benway have a long night in, watch internet pornography together, Vikram punishes Benway for getting excited watching 'The MILF and the Fury'; Benway jumped by gang of hoodied kids, Vikram comforts him; Vikram stood up by Chloe Sevigny and Kate Moss, Benway angry at first (jealousy, rejection), then comforts him. Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
not chloe sevigny. i'd like zooey deschanel, if that's okay.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:41: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
hurrah!
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:42: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:50: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Vikram-sex = early Amis meets Andy Warhol.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:43: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
That's excellent, Vikram. Why have you never done it before?
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:50: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Stop writing, please... you are uncomfortably good.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
So this is what Vikram is for.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:50: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'll jump on a bus now, fella.
Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
I think you should move right out of London Ben Wei San. It's totally shit and all claustrophoic and everything. Me and the Mrs visited an old friend of mine a few months ago, in Temple Mills, Stratford, East London. Nice area, described by Thompson's Holidays as 'the bunghole of the world'. I hadn't visited for many a year and it seems that HM Gov have been placing all ugly, poor people into one place and forcing them to breed. We were departing this foul drudge as fast as we could and stopping only to shout helpful fashion advice to a man who was wearing primark jeans in public, we discovered we were being followed by a .. what is the collective noun for Hoodies? ..crows are described as a 'building' aren't they? Well this lot looked like crows, deadpan, drooling, vulture-like expressions of people who would only be described as 'special' in a lowered voice when dishing out educational achievements. Anyway, this squat of hoodies had obviously taken afront at our lovely dress sense and the shine of earned wealth dripping from our pores. They were looking for my wallet I'd say, and perhaps a feel-up of the impressively fronted Mrs VOP while they were about it. Now, I'm an equal opportunities puncher, I care not for the vagaries of race nor gender when I'm threatened and I reckoned I could take the two big ones, plant a happy-slap on the vaguely female looking one and the others would back off. So I told m'beyatch to head off towards the nearest pub and I'd meet her there in five. Good plan I thought, me birds safe and therefore a bit grateful so maybe amenable to the botty-sex we'd discussed earlier, and, I get to look a bit bloody sexy and all S.A.S. for the first time in fucking ages. But oh no, Mrs VOP says that this was not the time for expressions of manhood, lets instead do a runner. 'Right', says I, pausing only to grab her necklace and birkin bag and lob them at the malodorous hooded ones, 'lets be off'. I was already parked at the bar and half-way through my first pint when she charges like a bull with a chilli up it's arse through the pub door and acosts me with threats and swearing and all sorts of loud hullaballoo. In short, she dumped me. I mean .. wimmen.. what the fuck do you want from us?
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:51: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
that's fine, I'm going to use the new Banksy installation 'high street death slide' to SAS in through one of your windows. Zooey's mate (the one who recently changed his name to '$?') is going to film it with his mind for a psychic screening at the Foundry next week.
And, I used to work in Stratford, and it is indeed a grim place. Swampland filled with gravel and pieces of railway track, empty kareoke pubs and flyovers piled on top of each other. I worked at a data sweatshop there, earning money by clicking a mouse. The only thing keeping me sane was Xfm, even though the only two tracks being played were "long time coming" by The Delays and the second half of "take me out" by F.Ferdinand. Dossing round herbs' place, popping painkillers to keep myself emerged in a literal fog.
Stratford is due to be transformed with the coming of the Olympic Games though, right? There's going to be some hardcore hilarity when motherfuckers roll up to ye olde london only to be faced with a suburban landfill of lost hope.
[ 31.01.2006, 08:49: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 01.02.2006, 16:51: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
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Misc! nobody else I know remembers Captain Pugwash! That programme was insane, it was full of dirty jokes you never got at the time... the evil pirate was called Blow-Me Down, and the first mate's name was Peter Phile! NO LIE!
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