Okay, I'm not sure how well this thread will go, probably not well at all, but sod it, here goes anyway. Anything to moisten the pussy of Life:
Darkness.
...Vaguelly aware of shape of body. 2 long arms. 2 longer legs. Lumpy bit at top, chunky bit in middle. Laying in bed, but also...
...Busy in the office. So much stuff to do, emails to answer, calls to make, appointments to book in, reports to type. Busy busy busy. Suddenly the phone rings. Pick it up, open it, put it to ear. Just as I'm listening for a reply...
...Blaring, repetitive noise. The alarm clock!...
..."Shut up, I'm on the phone!"...
...Hang on! I'm not at work. Nyah, time to get up...
Question:
What was the first thing that came into your head when you woke this morning?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
If I wake up before the alarm clock my first thought always centres around trying to establish the time without opening my eyes or moving. So I'll lie there and think "Is the boiler running?" If I can hear that the heating's on, then I know it must be after about 5.30-6.00. The next question is - is the shower fan on? If no then I know bit's on the earlier side - probably before 6.30, and well worth going back to sleep. If I can hear the shower running, I know VP's up, and it's between 6.30 and seven. If I can hear her clattering around in the kitchen, I know it's nearly 7.00 and I get gripped by a queasy panic in my gut as I lie there, eyes tight shut, waiting in terror for the alarm to go off.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
"The stick isn't long enough. The stoat is going to get in!"
Odd nightmare.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Can I speak yet?
Sadly for me, fortuitously probably for the rest of the world, it transpired that I couldn't. *squeak*
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
Oh, dear God! Jonesy, you've just reminded me of something!
Had a dream earlier in the night that I posted on here and LowLevel answered that he really, really didn't like me.
Have I been posting too much?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
We could do with a few more people posting too much at the moment.
Not that you are.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
I'm trying, I'm trying! Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
Oh.
I just did a poo.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
My first thought is invariably TIME. If I wake up at 6.30, I've won as I can just doze for 10 mins or so. Unfortunately, I've been waking up and seeing that it's 4.50 or something, and then knowing I won't be able to get back to sleep.
Since my recent sordid encounter, I've been having some pleasing thoughts in bed related to boys and too much champagne.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
My first thought was "Oh, God. I've got to go to Thamesmead today."
Then I went there. I did the survey, came back to my van and realised that, after asking numerous people for directions, I had left the passenger window wound down whilst I was on site. Nobody robbed my van or anything, which was odd for Thamesmead.
Exciting, huh?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
yeah I think the first thought was 'what time is it', and then I could here banging and shouting, and the room was still warm from the morning heating. I just went back to sleep, and finally rose around 11 o'clock when I was worrying that it was 2 or 3 in the afternoon.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
Since my recent sordid encounter, I've been having some pleasing thoughts in bed related to boys and too much champagne.
Ach, typical! I've been outclassed again.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, ouch, fuck me why am I so cold, jesus I'm freezing and my feet are still numb, it's like I've been sleeping in a fridge...
Christ I hurt all over, oh man I can't even move enough to get back onto the pillows in a comfy way..
Jesus I'd like to drink that cup of tea, if only I could move my arms..
Oh man, why do my feet hurt so much ?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Generally I'm waking up kind of smug that I've had 12 hours sleep, and then depressed because I'm running out of money.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I was initially thinking how surprising it was that I had dyed my hair black. Then gradually realised I hadn't. Now I’m wondering whether I should consider dying my hair black...maybe with some reddish bits as well….
Then I tried to work out what time it was without looking at the clock. This is easy because the water from upstairs shower starts dripping through into the bedroom at 7.05 am, so I can fairly precisely determine if it is 'early' or 'nearly' time.
Even when, as this morning, I had nothing to drink the night before, went to bed early and slept well, I find waking and getting up so deeply traumatic that the first part of every day is characterised by a shroud of existential bleakness. I wish I could stop that.
[ 14.02.2006, 08:05: Message edited by: Abby ]
Posted by George the Robot (Member # 681) on :
Grrr. Arrrgh.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
You had the stoat dream as well, eh George?
Posted by George the Robot (Member # 681) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: You had the stoat dream as well, eh George?
Beaver, actually.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by George the Robot: Beaver, actually.
I actually had to swerve my car to avoid running over a beaver this morning, about 1/2 mile from my house. Not that anyone cares.
[ 14.02.2006, 08:38: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by George the Robot (Member # 681) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I actually had to swerve my car to avoid running over a beaver this morning, about 1/2 mile from my house. Not that anyone cares.
Was that your first thought when you woke up? 'AAAH! DRIVING!' 'AAAARRGH BEAVER!!!'
[ 14.02.2006, 08:42: Message edited by: George the Robot ]
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
I heard a story that somewhere, in America, a man got his nipple bitten off by a beaver.
Apparently, he was driving with his wife down a road, knocked over a beaver, stopped, and got out of the car to see how it was.
He went over to the animal and picked it up by the tail. Although unconscious, it was still in fine shape, so he called over to his wife,
"Look at this! It's not cut up or nuthin'!"
Which was when it regained consciousness and bit off his nipple.
I don't know if he ever got it back.
[ 14.02.2006, 08:42: Message edited by: Purple Monkey Dishwasher ]
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
In order... [7.15]oh shit, the alarm didn't go off! [7.16]I didn't set the alarm, why didn't I set the alarm, can I possibly get showered and out of the house in 13 minutes in order to make the bus? No. I'm going to be late for work. Oh well. [7.17]...calm... [7.18]...snoozearoo... [7.19] brrring brrring "Hello this is your best friend calling from Australia! I'm pregnant and I'm never coming home!" [7.27] post phone call, burst into tears.
I think that's a bit much for a Tuesday morning, frankly.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
"If I reach out with my big toe, I might be able to switch off that annoying **** Chris Moyles without leaving the protection of the duvet.
Ow! Cramp!"
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by George the Robot: Beaver, actually.
I actually had to swerve my car to avoid running over a beaver this morning, about 1/2 mile from my house. Not that anyone cares.
I care, ralph. I know that beaver. His family are eternally grateful and have named you "Wudfiter" which in beaver language means "Preserver Of Life"
Posted by Good Fairy (Member # 479) on :
AAAH! I'veoverslept! I'veoverslept! Oh, its only 5am. Time for a little cuddle, come 'ere handsome!
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
Do you mean this morning when I woke at 12:30am (thought: shit, already?), 4:30am (thought: that was a decent stretch), or 6:15am (thought: jumble, ugh, scott up, don't fall down stairs)?
Morning isn't over yet, perhaps I'll get a nap and get to have another go at thinking something meaningful.
Posted by LowLevel (Member # 30) on :
quote:Originally posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher: LowLevel answered that he really, really didn't like me.
[Bela Lugosi]Hi luff haul ov may chiltrun de sayum[/Bela Lugosi]
No, like, seriously, you're up there in the blue folder on top of my desk that used to have 'posters that have unbelievably large heads when viewed through nightvision specs' written on it... But I've scribbled over that in thick black CD marker pen and written 'Posters who are odd enough to intrigue but not wEIrd enough to bite'
Which is on top of the grey file marked 'Posters whose home addresses are freely available on t'Internet'
Balanced precariously on top of the buff one marked 'Posters whose homes are clearly visible on Google Earth'
This one is moving slowly around my in-tray at the moment as I have sewn it to a badger...
My first thought this morning was...
Have I got time to Lvl-up on World of Warcraft before having a shower...
The answer was no as it happens
**Edited for schoolboy spelling error and suddenly realising P.M.D. is a lumpy-jumper**
[ 14.02.2006, 10:16: Message edited by: LowLevel ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Can't breathe. Am I dying? What will I leave behind? Archaeopteryx or coal? Strata. Death. Pillow. Fuck I'm full of cold. Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
If I creep out now and not wake her, I could probably get to the shops and back with some flowers or something...if she wakes up I'll just say I'm getting the paper, or just give her the sex, yes, that's it, the sex, always go with the sex, it's a gift in it's own right...yeah, I'll just quietly burn a mix cd now, and I'l get away with it, ha!
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
lol
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
"Fucking Tuesday..." Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by LowLevel: Have I got time to Lvl-up on World of Warcraft before having a shower...
[Chate]What level are you now? I haven't played it in about 3 weeks for one reason or another, currently level 39 and one decent session from 40[/Chate]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher:
Question:
What was the first thing that came into your head when you woke this morning?
"I'm going to do a £100 shit!"
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
why does the fucking cat have to wake me up precisely one hour before the alarm goes off? no matter what time the alarm goes off he always starts fucking around an hour before this?
little fucking bastard.
aww, now he's purring.
still gonna kill him though.
did i remember to pack the repaired virgin mary?
i did.
Posted by LowLevel (Member # 30) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic: What level are you now?
I'm on the cusp of lvl 22 - See.. Tha's what happens when you play the game... and don't let the game play you.. You level up sloooooooowly ooooooohhhhh sooooooooo slooooooooowly
Gaymers indeed... Whomsoever hear of such a thing
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by LowLevel: Gaymers indeed... Whomsoever hear of such a thing
Lol, I can quite understand that actually given the amount of crap that fills the General chat channel, I've seen plenty of cases of male teen players harrassing female players, christ knows what they come out with if they know someone's gay.
The juvenile nature of many of the players on there puts me off a bit at times I must admit, part of the reason why I'm not overly keen on teaming up for dungeons..
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
What is all that moisture? My neck has dissolved into my body. My mouth is beyond husk and why won't my tongue lay back in its mouth bed, seperated from the loving clasp of the roof of my mouth? There are a hundered razors in my throat, each one slicing, slicing, slicing. Where is my water? I must have water! I wish I could move without setting off my head-throbs. Must wake him up. He'll be late for work. What is that wheezing, rasping sound coming out of my mouth? Oh no, it's what's left of my voice. Fucking hell, I hate colds.
[ 14.02.2006, 13:27: Message edited by: Sidney ]
Posted by Toilet Duck (Member # 801) on :
![[Wink]](wink.gif)