Here's a good thread if you once read a post by a poster on here and have a question you want to have answered about said post.
Jonesy: Once you made a post about how when you went into PC World to buy a computer and the guy was trying to sell you a computer and you were like "is this one good" and he was like "Yeh it's got blah blah mega blah" and you were like "I'll take it" because... you said
The Taxman is paying for it
Now, what I would like to know is: Is there actually a way of making the tax man pay for your computer? Because as I understand it he gives 100% tax relief for business expenses which means he give you relief on the tax that you would have paid if you hadn't have bought a computer.
to try and clear that up here's an example: You make £1000 profit Tax due on that = 20% (approx) = £200 You buy computer for £1000 You get 100% tax relief so taxman effectively loses £200
No, that's no clearer is it.
Still, reason I ask is that I went and bought a computer on the strength of that statement and then found out later that the Taxman is apparently not paying for it, just paying the tax I would have paid... oh for fucksake... you know what I mean?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I was about to launch into an explanation then thought "curses, Thorn was right about me after all".
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
It's ok HC I think I understand it now, even though I have trouble explaining it clearly. The point though is - Did Jonesy actually get a computer where the "Taxman paid for it". Maybe he got a rebate or something. I dunno, I think about it all the time though.
[ 09.03.2006, 11:08: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I think he was exaggerating for effect. Bearing in mind that I can think about finances for about 30 seconds before everything goes misty before my eyes and I have to lie down, I believe what happens is that as a self-employed person you can deduct (or 'minus') the cost of anything you need for work from your profits, and you are only taxed on the remainder.
I don't know, tho. I leave it to my accountant. (not hippy)
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Oh I don't fucking know.
I'm self-employed.
It isn't a case of just deducting the cost of a computer from your profits. In your tax return, computers fall under plant and machinery ('capital allowances' something like that) and they are actually part of your business or some such shit, meaning if your tax bill is going to be, say, 15 grand, and you claim £1000 for computer equipment bought during that tax year, your final tax bill is actually only going to be 14 grand. I could be making this shit up. I could look it up and explain more clearly but I'd rather die.
I think it changed last year anyway, so you can't knock the entire amount off one tax bill, you have to stretch it across three years - claiming (in the £1000 example) £334 off this year's tax and £333 off the subsequent two years.
Something like that. I get an accountant to do it all now. I'm sure Hippy or Benway could clarify.
[ 09.03.2006, 11:29: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
That's what I meant. Or did I. Surely if you take the cost of the capital object off the tax bill, the tax man really is paying for it, which surely is in the realms of fantasy.
Tell you what I never understood, posting-wise: the origin, and meaning, of 'goatse' , and the origin of the money thing, ie lolGroat. Wassa'awbaat?
[ 09.03.2006, 11:41: Message edited by: herbs ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Yeah it's easy! Like, my lunch is tax-deductible, and I can claim £15 per working day for lunch.
If I don't claim my lunch for that day, I will earn that day's pay minus my tax.
If I claim for my lunch, I earn that day's pay minus my tax, but my tax if fifteen pounds smaller becuase I claimed, and my pay is fifteen pounds bigger.
So if I claim for my lunch for every day of the month, I will pay approx £300 less tax that month.
If I do loads of expenses, I barely have to pay any tax at all that month.
If I am lazy, and do none, I have to pay like half my wages to the taxman.
Moral of story - do your expenses.
ps - goatse was a man pulling his ass really really really disgustingly wide (a picture of it, i mean), and the moneything was just elvis pissing around one time.
pPs - you don't actually have to spend £15/ day on lunch. You can bring sandwiches. Then the taxman really is giving you £15 for nothing! Yay taxman!!!!
[ 09.03.2006, 11:44: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
So... Jonesy told the tax man he ate a computer for lunch??
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
The word "goatse" is derived from the domain where the infamous image was hosted - goatse.cx - which itself is thought to be a corruption of "goat sex". Another rumour suggests that GOATSE is an acronym for Guy Opens Ass To Show Everyone.
Phew. I almost broke 8,000 with a goatse post.
[ 09.03.2006, 11:50: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Light bulbs are coming on all over my mind.
but... how come you can claim for lunch? You'd have lunch if you were a self-employed high-flying groovester, or an unemployed doley scum. It isn't really an expense of working...
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: So... Jonesy told the tax man he ate a computer for lunch??
Lunch is tax-deductible. Computer equipment is tax-dedictible. If you don't claim for it it's not free, but if you do claim for it, you get to pay a bit less tax, therefore, effectively, 'the taxman is paying for it'. Eventually.
Am I right, Hippy?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Man, this thread is dry.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Hippy's going to put some sexy spin on capital allowances in a minute and moisten the whole thing up like a dirty houswife at a lido.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: but... how come you can claim for lunch? You'd have lunch if you were a self-employed high-flying groovester, or an unemployed doley scum. It isn't really an expense of working...
I dunno! It's something to do with being an 'independent contractor' who works out of home for more than 10 hours per day or something and employs an 'umbrella company' to deal with her tax and stuff. It's just a thing, you know? A thing. A free thing. Never look a free thing in the mouth, Herbs. It might bite you.
edit: er, ok, I think I am a 'self-employed high-flying groovester', to use your parlance.
[ 09.03.2006, 12:12: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
You're not quite right there London - if only you got all your expenses back, god it'd be brilliant.
If you have a £15 allowance for lunch, you set that off against your fees then pay tax on the balance. If you're a higher rate tax payer and actually spend £15 cash money on lunch, you will make a tax saving of £6 against what you would have had to pay in tax if you didn't offset the expenses.
It's slightly different with equipment like computers, you do indeed get capital allowances where you can charge as an expense (again as a deduction from your income), part of the cost of the equipment each year - for computers I think jonesy's right with his three years. So a computer which you paid £1000 cash for, you'd offset as an expense against income £333 in year 1 (saving tax at 40% of £133) and the same in years 2 and 3.
Mainly you actually need to have spent the money and have receipts - I think you can sometimes get away with subsistency things like lunch and unreceipted parking, and the best thing is mileage allowance instead of petrol receipts. But generally, you have to spend the money to save tax, and it has to be "wholly and necessarily incurred" in the course of your work. So unfortunately there's no claiming for things like your work clothes unless they're a uniform etc, and if you wear a uniform you're unlikely to be self-employed anyway and this whole blurb is irrelevant. Somebody stop me, please.
h.h....hello? is anyone awake?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote: ...if you wear a uniform...
...but, then again, too few to mention.
[ 09.03.2006, 12:57: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
does anyone want to know about VAT?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Will you be explaining it in uniform?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
If not, nah thanks. I'll just go back to imagining Caruso turning up at Dang's house and blowing his Jimmy Page theory out of the water.
Oh really?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I may have my old netball skirt somewhere.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Yeah, that'll probably do it. Let's start with the bits of VAT theory that make you giggle.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Mr. Dang -
- you claim that this once belonged to Jimmy Page
- and I was ready to believe you
- but you see
- he have procedure here, Mr. Dang, so I sent it to the lab
- do you know what the tests told us?
- the tests produced some very.... interesting results.
- here's what I think happened, Mr. Dang
- I think that you kidnapped the girl to try and extort your old employer-
- And this 'Jimmy Page' was just a cover up
- But what I can't figure out-
- Is how it came to be in your posession.
-but we will find out, Mr. Dang. We will find out.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
H1ppy's voice is raw sex. She should just record her posts about accountancy and host the wavs.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: You're not quite right there London - if only you got all your expenses back, god it'd be brilliant.
If you have a £15 allowance for lunch, you set that off against your fees then pay tax on the balance. If you're a higher rate tax payer and actually spend £15 cash money on lunch, you will make a tax saving of £6 against what you would have had to pay in tax if you didn't offset the expenses.
Oh god oh god oh god oh god.
I've actually just had to smooth my hand across my brow. It's a habit I picked up a few years ago, when I thought that Botox might one day not be a joke or a cuss but a necessity. I have just smoothed my face back into place because your post made me do a SCRUMPLE. It's not as extreme as doing a cry or anything, it just makes your face kind of... fold in on itself, like one of those kittens from that page Mikee linked to. I was so happy about the free lunch thing, you know? 'No such thing as a free lunch..., hahaha FUCKERZ, yes there IS!' i laughed to self. And now, no. Tears prick at corners of eyes. Face smoothed down by desperate hand. No such thing as free lunch. No such thing as free lunch. No. Such. Nosuchthing.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i am feeling sad because noone will ever suggest that i make wavs of myself talking about sitting around flirting with chicks on bispace and eating cheesy chips. not even if i made my voice reaaaaally posh and talked about wiping cheesegrease off my chin before it, you know. now i wish i had a career, i really do.
london there is such a thing as a free lunch! all you have to do to get it is work in catering. that one time in the summer i got fed lobster and oysters and champagne! but mostly it is ginsters sausages rolls.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Oafer Fax ake. I would totally tell you your voice was hot if you:
1.) Bought a mic set 2.) Downloaded Skype 3.) Chatted nonsense to us on said Skype.
Highlights of comedy include:
H1ppy accidentally saying 'runny babbits'
Ringo buying a 'home gym'
Felix coming home shaved of hair and wearing ladies underwear and being forced....ashamed to show strangers on cam
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Alice. You have amazing tits. If I asked you to clap them together and do a recording of it - I'd even hold my iPod up towards them, Belkin device at the ready, green record light on - would you do that? Would ya? Would ya?
God I want a cigarette. I haven't had one for like four entire days or something, but I want one mmmm so much. Should I have one? Alice?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Felix coming home shaved of hair and wearing ladies underwear and being forced....ashamed to show strangers on cam
Head hair or area hair? Also do you have any recent pictures of Felix, preferably blond. Thanks. Money's in the Paypal.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
Yeah so I am working at Royal Brompton Hospital, which is lungs and hearts. I'm not so hot for cigarettes right now. Don't worry, come the third glass of wine, it'll pass.
I am totally going healthy as of Monday morning. Have trashy intergalactic party to go-go to this saturday, but after, yeah after i am cleaning up.
join me in healthy living, anne marie!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Areahair. He was so out of it he pissed all over the floor and got his pants, so he was given a pair of scanty pink ones with a white band, pink stars. Nice.
quote:Originally posted by London: Also do you have any recent pictures of Felix, preferably blond.
Is the one from our website not good enough?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Alice. You have amazing tits. If I asked you to clap them together and do a recording of it - I'd even hold my iPod up towards them, Belkin device at the ready, green record light on - would you do that? Would ya? Would ya?
:hurt and outraged: my tits do not fwap, if that is what you are suggesting.
have a bloody cigarette for gods sake woman. youve got to die of something havent you.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
poor boy looks sad
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Oh god oh god oh god oh god.
I'm so sorry....I feel so guilty now....and not in a nice dirty way....*sob*
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Thoughts on reading recent comments on this thread:
1) Use of name 'Anne-Marie' produces peculiar jolt: real life words in virtual space. Closer than 'AMP', which I can just about tolerate hearing on here. Strange; warm.
2) Felix man! Not to be um but. OMG so pointy, I have to show to K8, she dies for pointy-nosed blondes. But in real life, he did not look like that from the front. Also, I heard he had dyed the hair black now, to unsatisfactory end? But this I cannot believe.
3) Fwapping. I mean. I don't want to be indiscreet on here but if you wanted to, you could. I can! Anyone above a c-cup can, if they want... and we all know they are the best kind.
4) Don't remember about a four.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
is there any particular reason Feliz (aka 'Happy') has a polo mint in his ear?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
4) Oh yeah 4. 'Have a cigarette, you've got to die of something'. I wish I could only have one. It's the other nine I have to buy to get to that one that are the problem, you know what I mean? I have not had a cigarette for like four entire days or so. Am I to throw that away on a whim? Could I be so weak? (y)
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
also (for no reason): when I logged off my work pc at approx 6.15, I did a little happy dance in my chair and the guy sitting behind me clocked me and pissed himself laughing *embarrassed*. shame he's not hott.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
yeah but making your own tits fwap is surely not unlike trying to punch yourself really hard in the face, like, as hard as someone else could punch you. youre not going to get the right sort of momentum happening. its just not going to work.
i would be happy to try- for you, and only you- but you are not to put the results on the internet. although if it were to be my profile track on bispace, that would be quite rule.
[ 09.03.2006, 14:16: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
im going home to watch crufts now! why does that even make me happy.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Dude, it's easy! It's so easy. Just fucking try it. You won't be disappointed.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Shitz. I was looking at Faerietits. Felix is all black haired but he still looks teh hot. Although, although recently I have been trying to make him stop the burning of both ends which is making him rocket to oldest looking member of the band. Even though Misc and I are half a decade older.
Recently I was told "Felix has a pretty face. He's not my type. He should wash" All of these are true. Also, favourite follow on quote: "he should actually use the shower instead of spraying himself" Man I love him. He's all kooked up at the moment. Nose = not as pointy as that.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
yes, but why the polo mint? it's an existential dilemma that must be addressed.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
You look so much like Seth Green.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: yes, but why the polo mint? it's an existential dilemma that must be addressed.
It's called a tunnel. You should know this H1ppy, you are hip and trend. They are known for making ears look like dogs bottoms when they come out.
quote:Originally posted by London: You look so much like Seth Green.
That's kind London, but you are just saying this to be kind. Who is that I am supposed to look like, cross pollinating question shazza?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
He also looks like Ben Foster.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Don't have the cigarette.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
What does a cross-pollinating question Shazza look like? I am all confused. I said it because that is what I thought / think. I am rarely kind.
(I am often kind.)
edit (what am i talking about)
[ 09.03.2006, 14:50: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: What does a cross-pollinating question Shazza look like?
Let's drop it as she's been trying to keep her real name secret for years.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I didn't want a name. A picture would be fine.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
ixnay on the haronshay.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Well you shouldn't have mentioned it then. Top tip: if you don't want something known, don't talk about it online. Ever.
Talk about something else!
Please. Here is space to talk about something else:
_____________________
Ok. I go do a review now.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
fuxxake. it's my name. it's a shit name, but it's my name. not a big deal really and i haven't really been trying to keep it a secret (various people know it) - i was just teasing mikee. feel free to mock at your leisure.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Are we having a drunk friday night thread early? That woud be col.
Does anyone know where I put my decongesting nose crack?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
It is so massively not my fault! Here I am, working HARD from home, but then, my friend turns up on the messenger thing, the gmail thing, and it's half past five, and she is like, let's have some wine, lololol!!! So I say, ok!!!! But then, I had like LOADS of wine, and smoked a cigarette, and now it is like 8.30, and I have still not finished the boring work, and not even started the fun work, and I have to go to Stockholm tomorrow morning, and Hippy is called Sharon, and it's all just not ok. Wargh!!!!
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Cross pollinating question Shazza says: yay!
Also, this is who I think mikee looks a bit like: Ben Foster Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
aaarrgh
[ 09.03.2006, 15:39: Message edited by: H1ppychick ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Is that Misc in the picture as well? He is quite hot.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
grrr
[ 09.03.2006, 15:39: Message edited by: H1ppychick ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick:
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: i was yaying Abby's nosecrack, not London's Wargh, by the way. that would be just cruel.
this post would have looked so much sharper if i hadn't had to edit Yargh to Wargh.
OH FUCKING HELL I'M A SPAZ AND A HALF
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Oh my god, you just said an autistic person was hot. That's like basically rape, you know.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Oh noes...is anyone watching the gritty new school drama where the bloke just went back to his fiance after the fiance's best mate told him to sling it?
Brrr.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Oh! They got married!
It is ok - I am abnormally non-autistic (8) which is practically a disability as well.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
beer good. like beer.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I'm attempting to review... Does anyone know anything about Delta Five?
[ 09.03.2006, 15:45: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I don't even know what that means. Is it hipster music?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Way to edit and make me look like a mong. Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Don't all go away, or I will have to go back to watching Buffy, and it is a sad bit.
You don't want me to be here at home on my own crying at Buffy do you?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Don't all go away, or I will have to go back to watching Buffy, and it is a sad bit.
You don't want me to be here at home on my own crying at Buffy do you?
I AM HERE IAM HERE! Do not cry.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
AAARRRGGHH! The gritty school kids just got hit by a truck and the bride was pregnant!!!
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Don't all go away, or I will have to go back to watching Buffy, and it is a sad bit.
You don't want me to be here at home on my own crying at Buffy do you?
i'm here too. i have Buffy box sets. Oh god all my dark secrets are coming out tonight.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
It's a very respected new wave art punk band from the past that I am supposed to review. I'm going to review it live online. Except right now I am making out with my hand imagining how fun it would be to have someone else here.
here is my review! i wrote it in style of vikram in bangkok:
Ok, so it’s realy hard to review th is olike OLD IMPORATANT STUFF. The bvesty thing to do is.
When you are drunk, you are ab it more honest. So I can maybe forget the weight of history, and ujust see if it actually works in the real world the resl world is
Laoding the dishwasher while drunk to this stuff
So there is a teaspoon with some stuff on it, what is is – sloe jelly from the countryside…. I Am Lodcing the dishwasher, here ist he knife, my favoure iknife
And I ma spending a happy five mintues to ‘now that you[‘ve gone’ banging them together
I have lost the press release
This means nothing to me n miny life
Just the rhythinmms
Oh lol. Who likes sex but only on Sundays? Who keeps me out when I wanna go hom you you you you. This is acez. I found out about I found out about I found out about you you you oyuouuoouuoououou
Who took me to the wimpy for a big night out you yhou you you YOU YOU!!!
This song rules
I roune ou agojka Bi FOUnd ogu about I found out about I found out about YOU YOU YOU?@@!@@@ 1!!!
[ 09.03.2006, 16:16: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Dear god...now a documentary about homeless great danes, and one is deaf and they are teaching it sign language.
The pathos. Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Oh god oh god oh god oh god.
Easy figures for getting head round:
If you earn a 1000 pounds you pay 400 pounds tax, right.
If you buy a 500 pound plane ticket to get to work then you can deduct that from the 1000 pounds you earned and only pay tax on the remaining 500 pounds.
So you only pay 200 pounds tax.
Which does help by saving you 200 pounds which you would of had to pay to the taxman. But it's still a much more actual saving to not buy the plane ticket in the first place.
The real advantage comes in claiming for stuff you never actually paid for. But that's illegal, and if there's one crime you are guaranteed to be caught for then it's tax fraud. Might be worth the risk though, if you happen to find one of Black Mask's restaurant receipts lying around or something.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: i'm here too. i have Buffy box sets.
I don't know if I've told this tale, but my friend use to be a massive film buff. We had managed to watch practically all his films so it got to the point where he would ask 'would you like to watch a film tonight?' and upon answering positively his arm would cra-eak towards a buffy boxset (you'd be thinking 'that isn't a film') he would smoothly slide one out, and he would sla-ide a cassette into the player and the music would kick in. No matter how much you enjoyed buffy, you'd still groan like it was bible time during assembly.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
er. that's what i said. but i obviously don't have the dangermouse touch of comedy gold™ :sadeness:
eta@dangnotmikeeyoufuckingINTERLOPER!!!!
[ 09.03.2006, 16:07: Message edited by: H1ppychick ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Abbyworld sounds mental doesn't it? I can never be sure if she's telling the truth or not. I mean, I'm suppose to believe they teach deaf dogs sign language when if I ask someone to repeat what they said they glare at me. Could someone create a deaf great dane on myspace and make it add me please?
[ 09.03.2006, 16:10: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
But 1 Buffy doesn't last as long as a film, so you dont get bored and wander off half way through.
Maybe I have ADHD instead of autism?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Is true! There was a little bit in the Crufts coverage. Ask Disco. Then it went back to that posh blond chap who maybe came from reality TV?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
mikee: did you see what i did there?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: er. that's what i said.
Oh yeah, I know. But for most of us the example figures have to be clear as crystal or it's a lost cause trying to explain it. No normal person can comprehend what the relationship between £15 and £6 actually is. Only people that are paid lots of money to understand it can do that. Or autists.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I nearly called up your department just to ask for you the other day Abby. I was going to say in a serious voice: hello Abigail, this is Keith from laundry...
...are you panties dirty?
then hang up.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
i is not an autist. and i do get paid lots of money (embarrassingly so) but yes i take your point. damn.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Busy tonight, aint it?
[ 09.03.2006, 16:20: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
*tumbleweed*
jonesy killed the drunken buzz with excellent, damn his eyes
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Jonesy...
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Vikramlol.
You dont work at my hospital do you NWOD? If you called my phone you would speak to me, or Valerie the most boring woman in the world or Cheng the quietest man in the world (who has a secret stash of mint Viscounts in his draw).
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
jonesy you wanker
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Sorry, I'm scarred because London smoked a cigarette.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Don't delete good stuff! My computer is being shonky and I keep missing stuff!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: You dont work at my hospital do you NWOD?
Sometimes I think you just don't care what I say. I work for the same trust as you and have done for over 10 months. I brought up your name on email last week and licked the glass like I was riding shotgun in the Variety Club sunshine bus.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Abby, he's crying brokenly into my headset over Skype. You've broken him
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I don't really understand about Trusts and stuff. I work for Imperial College, so the hospital admin side of things kind of passes me by. I know you work for a hospital.
DONT CRY
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
did you see the bit about the special dogs for special people oh man. teak of the week. by the time they got to the muscular distrophy kid and his little labrador trotting along beside him in his wheelchair, sitting in the kids lap whilst he surfed the internet, helping him press the push- buttons on the wheelchair compatible doors in his house... and the dog's face, it was like 'oh man, this kid is so sad... and i know im doing him good and all, but its kinda dragging me down, the pressure of it all. i mean, theres just so much love, its like a cloud, its suffocating me. sometimes i just wanna go out, sniff some butts, chase a frisbee or two, piss on a prize rosebush... and all the time hes there, needing buttons pushing and his hands on me all the time. and you know i love the guy but... i just need some space. i mean, thats bad right?'... and then the kid was like, 'before i got yogi, I JUST WANTED TO DIE and theres yogi lying there going 'yeahhh...you see, this is what im talking about.' this is the definition of teak: when youre laughing, and youre crying, and it could be that youre crying because youre laughing so much, or it could be because youre sad, or it could be because you are ashamed of the laughter. after that deaf great danes was like, yeah, w'evs.
[ 09.03.2006, 16:33: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: DONT CRY
It's too late. I got to the scene where Tara and Willow cry and it was like dominoes, except with tears.
I thought you were at Hammersmith Hospital.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: Sorry, I'm scarred because London smoked a cigarette.
*gasp*!!!!
has to gasp becuase smoked cigarette
Dude! It wasn't a massive like I HAVE STOPPED!!!! And it wasn't a massive like I HAVE STARTED!!!!
I am in flux anyway, becuase me and my therapist are supposed to 'work on my smoking', but then I had to work 5 days a week to actually 'work on my work', which means no time for therapy, which means giving up is in FLUX! And so am I.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
disco come and drink beer with me!!!! oh no, you don't anymore, do you Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
oh disco. Fucking Lolza Mcroffles and the quest for the golden chortle Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I am at Hammersmith, just in the Imperial research bit, not the bit with sick pikeys shuffling about in backless gowns smoking Mayfairs.
Everyone is crying in Buffy now. It is The End (season 6).
Except Spike (No T-shirt) who has got HIS SOUL!!!!111!!!11
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: this is the definition of teak: when youre laughing, and youre crying, and it could be that youre crying because youre laughing so much, or it could be because youre sad, or it could be because you are ashamed of the laughter. after that deaf great danes was like, yeah, w'evs.
But at least you're feeling, Alice!!!!!
I do not say this for myself. I am the tsunami of feeling. I say this for people I know. Like this one person watched me log on to B*mL*v*s myspace, and see all about the i*cL*nD*c girl MOVING IN AFTER LIKE yeah and. He was jealous becuase I was having an emotion, even a horrible one that made me want to CRY. He was coveting the emotion that was scouring my insides.
Pervert.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
oh god i'm about to talk buffy.
that season finale sucked ass. xander saves the world? fuck off.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Wait, don't spoil seven. I know it's crap, but I have to watch it with my old best friend from school for all these reasons, and... you know.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
S'poignant though, innit.
It is the power of love.
Though I expect a few sign language profficient disabledogs would have been handy.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
excellent i'm not alone in my club of lameness. we all live here too. perhaps it's because we're not autists, we're well-adjusted social people who don't WATCH TOO MUCH FUCKING TV
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
hippychick I remember you from the oooold days. There were these threads like 'STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT IF YOU THINK BUFFY SUCKS' 'STICK YOUR TONGUE OUT IF YOU THINK BUFFY R00LZ' do you remember? They were ironic, naturally - this was 2000/2001 after all but still... remember?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: *gasp*!!!!
It’s alright. I haven’t had one since November, but I’ve been really struggling over the last couple of weeks. I’m feeling sentimental (and drunk) so I just arbitrarily decided I was going to invest all kinds of misplaced emotion and romance in you not having a cigarette, as if the air in your lungs represented hope.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
There is no real point in leaving one glass of wine is there?
I cant find my sleeping crack or my decongesting nose crack. MedicateMedicate Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
i do, london, i do. those were the days, eh, pet?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
go on Abby. Do it!!!
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
ok.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999:
quote:Originally posted by London: *gasp*!!!!
It’s alright. I haven’t had one since November, but I’ve been really struggling over the last couple of weeks. I’m feeling sentimental (and drunk) so I just arbitrarily decided I was going to invest all kinds of misplaced emotion and romance in you not having a cigarette, as if the air in your lungs represented hope.
Um it does shut up.
This is not my last chance!
I am just having a minibreak!
I know how to be mature. I own my own home and everythi
[ 09.03.2006, 17:01: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Im going to bed. So.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
ohhhhh Abby.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
In a minute...
So, NWOD, do you actually work at the Hammersmith, or do Trusts have more then one hospital in them? If you do work here ('there', I am at home now!), how do I not know this? Apart from being callous and uncaring and not reading what you say. Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
hungry
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
needing to pee
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: So, NWOD, do you actually work at the Hammersmith, or do Trusts have more then one hospital in them?
There are four to my knowledge of which I remember three of: Ravenscourt Park Hospital Charing Cross Hospital Hammersmith Hospital
quote:If you do work here ('there', I am at home now!), how do I not know this? Apart from being callous and uncaring and not reading what you say.
Because my job is relatively unimportant. I'm either working for education (where?) or medical records (what do they do?)
Little cogs make the big wheels et cet..
[ 09.03.2006, 18:26: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Do normal, 'good' people go to bed at 10.20pm then? Not a cuss, I want to be like this, am just doing field research.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I think Abby works with chemicals. It's not like when my brothers would go into the attic, mix Salters Science components together in a test-tube, shake them up and hide behind bin bags when they exploded.
Well maybe it is.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
no i usually go to bed between 12 and 1 but have just put my pjs on
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
i don't possess pyjamas. maybe i will still hospital pjs. they have hospital pjs, right?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
iron filings and magnets and microscopes that never worked
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
stal, not still. fffs.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
STEAL Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
vikramlol
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
the worse thing is, I'M NOT EVEN DRUNK.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
No but this distinction does not exist for me. I work from home. I have been existing in a Brakes t-shirt, Superlovers hoodie, and some kind of LASport gym trouser things for like 2 days now. And earning stupid money while doing so!!! So putting on pjs is redundant concept. Help!
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
sounds way better than my usual.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
If no-one is going to post I'm going for a poo.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
have fun then. go crazy.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Is it just me an you then?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
i think so. we can talk about your poo if you like.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
I'm here to, but busy looking at pics of fairies in lingerie
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
no sniggering at the back
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
[teflon]*snigger*[/teflon]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I had the afternoon off today to send her away on the plane. Then I drank a pint on my own like a goon. I am currently vibrating with excitement about my first gig, while no doubt Felix and Misc are gonna be like 10,000% cool. Bracer is too ill to film anything, which means he misses out on the littlest poontang (theres a voice, keeps on calling me...)
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
aaah shame. poor braceur. no 16-yr old hotties trying to rebel by wearing minimal clothing and jumping up and down to electropunk for him, then.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
My favourite quote of last week: "My parents were kind of hippyish man, so the only thing I could rebel against them with was my diet. 'NO! I won't eat that tasty steak' I found out that vegans were rubbish though. They listen to shit music and hate other human beings'
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
yay mikee, we win! no-one else left standing. i like the way the hippy parents were forcing steak on their hapless mainstream-rebel offspring. seems a bit counterintuitive.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
We do win! It was like that time noob poster Kuang thought he had won against kovacs, simply because he stopped posting to make himself a sandwich.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
I'm here, listening to Kerrang's '25 metal anthems you must own' thanks to the wonder of Limewire (purely for evaluation purposes your honor).
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
three-way! pileon!!! Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
BUNDLES!
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: three-way! pileon!!!
"Ooh, matron!!" Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
*boing*
oh dear. premature exclamation from physic there, leaves my boing stranded with nary a sweaty muddy men crossover.
don't i feel foolish.
[ 09.03.2006, 19:22: Message edited by: H1ppychick ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I say I say I say, what do you call someone who finds a kilo of jam?
[ 09.03.2006, 19:28: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Jammy git Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
damn dude, she looks even hotter in that picture than in the previous ones, and I wouldn't have figured that to be possible. You utter, utter bastard Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
yeah i expressed surprise and disbelief also
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: yeah i expressed surprise and disbelief also
I see and raise your also with a 'me too'
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Have the scuff marks from your tongue hitting the tarmac healed yet?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
night boys. have fun playing with your posts together.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Sweet dreams
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Right, I drank all my booze, time for a really nice sleep. The usual procedure is that no matter when I arrange to meet Misc before practice I always show up in my underwear. Hopefully I can get some trousers on before I see him tomorrow
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
10.20 is a very early bedtime, but I was super tired and had to get up super early this morning. Plus I had run out of wine and Buffy, and I don't think getting maudlin on the internet has any redeeming features.
Oh...except maybe that it helps you get up in the morining because you have to jump up and delete whatever you wrote?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I say I say I say, what do you call someone who finds a kilo of jam?
I expect the picture that was here last night to be emailed to me NO QUESTIONS ASKED, as I missed that bit from my semi-lurking standpoint and would like to see how much 'jam' you have.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
*rubs eyes* I was right about a financial matter? How singular.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I am currently vibrating with excitement about my first gig, while no doubt Felix and Misc are gonna be like 10,000% cool. Bracer is too ill to film anything, which means he misses out on the littlest poontang (theres a voice, keeps on calling me...)
Break a leg, boys, and get well Bracer.
[ 10.03.2006, 12:37: Message edited by: H1ppychick ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
It's not really the right thread but it will do. Ladies, I want the name of a fancy shoe shop, where you could spend several hundred pounds on a pay of ladies shoes. Does such a place exist? I expect it does, Would you be able to give it a name?
Any takers?
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Birkenhead Shoemarket.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Good effort but it needs to be in London.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
I think there is some kind of shoe market in Tooting. However, Scrawny tells me it falls well short of the high standard set by its Birkenhead namesake.
Nonsense. Try Jimmy Choo shoes. Bond Street?
[ 14.03.2006, 11:48: Message edited by: Bandy ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Poste Mistress.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Christian Louboutin.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
why not go to selfridges or harrods? That way you can splurge out on a nice shirt or pair of trousers for yourself after you've done shopping for the lucky lady.
[ 14.03.2006, 11:52: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Thank you London and Bandy. And Benway. Although I suspect you were being sarcastic. I'm not actually buying any shoes, though.
[ 14.03.2006, 11:58: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
I bought some new shoes from Poste the other week. Today was their first outing and my feet are fucking killing me. Stupid pointy manshoes.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
How pointy are they? Are you sure they're not womanshoes?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Plus, don't you buy all your clothes from High and Mighty?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Bandy make a photo of yourself in your hot new shoes come on the internet!!!!!!! Look pained, but not homosexual.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
No, although some fucking chav assistant in Croydon USC suggested I go to High & Mighty when I asked if they had any Diesel or G-Star jeans with an extra long leg.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
lolol, it's funny because you're so tall!
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
ETA: Although tall, I never actually considered myself freakishly tall. Until recently. Buying any type of trouser-ware (jeans, suits, other) is proving to be a fucking nightmare.
[ 14.03.2006, 12:09: Message edited by: Bandy ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Have you ever been to High and Mighty? I've always thought it would be excellent. I like to think they employ dwarf salesmen to make the customers look even higher and mightier. I'd love to see the little men scurrying around with their ladders and tape measure that are ten times as big as they are. It must be a truly wondrous place.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Good old shopping in Croydon. A shop assistant in Debenhams arbitrarily knocked a shirt down to half price for me on Thursday. Astonished, and foolishly looking a gift horse in it's mouth, I asked why. The assistant shrugged and said "Some of the over stuff over there is in a sale. So... you know." I mean that's incredible. I was already willing to pay twice as much. Croydon is the town of the future.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Fucking hell, I've just noticed Thorn is going to hit 10,000 posts soon. Has that ever been done?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: Fucking hell, I've just noticed Thorn is going to hit 10,000 posts soon. Has that ever been done?
Not on TMO. Only Kovacs can catch him now.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Only Kovacs can catch him now.
Technically we could all catch him now. But it wouldn't be pretty.
ETA: One closer to the big 10,000.
[ 14.03.2006, 12:27: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
sitc innit
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
.
[ 13.04.2006, 06:21: Message edited by: Honeybaby ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
That Bull Durham quote is making me want to take an axe to my PC.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
are you anywhere near central london, honeybaby? anello and david are probably your best bet i reckon.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
it's no worse that 'honeybaby' as a user name. What's that all about, honeybaby?
eta: If it refers to dead babies suspended in honey then it's okay, BTW.
[ 15.03.2006, 06:46: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
stop it you two. i am trying to be helpful. Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm being irreverent.
[ 15.03.2006, 06:57: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i dont care. noone notices that theres niceness- jam in their sandwich if its served on bastard bread.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
So you don't like disagree with their points, you just don't want them to criticise honey so she'll notice you being nice?
[ 15.03.2006, 07:10: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
sorry honeybaby. I liked your thread about ear worms.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Sorry to be bastard bread, Honeybaby. I am the crust of hate and I apologise.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Synchronised shame. Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
But it is a bit of a lame username.
Though admittedly I am saying this from the perspective of having lame usernames all over the interweb.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: I am the crust of hate and I apologise.
Apology of the week.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
while we're having a go at (and subsequently apologising for attacking) people's usernames - what the fuck is Purple Monkey Dishwasher?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
It's a phrase used when Chinese Whispers get fucked up as they travel down the line, isn't it? It cropped up in The Simpsons.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: while we're having a go at (and subsequently apologising for attacking) people's usernames - what the fuck is Purple Monkey Dishwasher?
Sounds like it came out of one of those crazy Random Username Generators
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Wikipedia Trivia
Purple monkey dishwasher Bart: [walking up to a crowd of striking teachers] Now for Operation Strike-Make-Go-Longer. [speaking to teacher] You know, I heard Skinner say the teachers will crack any minute. The teachers whisper it forward through the line. Teacher: [speaking to Edna] "Skinner said the teachers will crack any minute, purple monkey dishwasher." Edna Krabappel: "Well! We'll show him, especially for that 'purple monkey dishwasher' remark!"
This is most likely a reference to the telephone game, where a story or phrase passed sequentially from one member of a group to another is often grossly distorted once it reaches the intended recipient. The remark itself has achieved a notable amount of pop culture recognition as an inside joke between Simpsons fans. A Purple Monkey Dishwasher zine (Modbury North, S.A. : Purple Monkey Dishwasher, 1996-1999) was even published for a short time.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
thanks for that.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: thanks for that.
TMO, it's not just for the nasty things in life.
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: are you anywhere near central london, honeybaby? anello and david are probably your best bet i reckon.
Ta, I'll try and check them out. I don't need proper expensive ones, I'm unlikely to wear them often.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: while we're having a go at (and subsequently apologising for attacking) people's usernames - what the fuck is Purple Monkey Dishwasher?
Sounds like it came out of one of those crazy Random Username Generators
The Simpsons ref is just a coincidence. The current name is what she agreed to go by after I complained to Darryn about her original 'Purple Monkey Asscrack' handle.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: But it is a bit of a lame username.
Though admittedly I am saying this from the perspective of having lame usernames all over the interweb.
What are you talking about lame usernames for?? Look at what I landed myself with!
Edit: I answered Louche before reading the rest of the thread. Yep, it's from The Simpsons. I typed that in on a whim, now I hate it.
Does anyone want to rename me?
[ 15.03.2006, 09:31: Message edited by: Purple Monkey Dishwasher ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
For all that Purple Monkey Dishwasher is a bit lame and makes you sound a like a teenager trying desperately hard to be cool but failing to grasp the coolness nettle by the skin of their milky white teeth, it remains intrinsically less lame than Honeybaby.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Purple Monkey Dishwasher... remains intrinsically less lame than Honeybaby.
Nah.
[ 15.03.2006, 09:38: Message edited by: Purple Monkey Dishwasher ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Purple Monkey Hamtoucher.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Purple Monkey Hamtoucher.
Perhaps you'd wish to explain, Lovely.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Purple Monkey Hamtoucher.
Says 'Ben'
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Roy: Says 'Ben'
Says Roy Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by Roy: Says 'Ben'
Says Roy
Says ralph
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Stop it right the fuck there.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Sorry. I could have flogged that one for days. Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Why are you called ralph, ralph?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
At least you're not called Sharon.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Sorry. I could have flogged that one for days.
That might have helped your bid for 10,000, too.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Sharon?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
"At least you're not called Sharon." Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
Oh, actually...
With the Sharon fruit, how are you meant to pronounce that? Is it Sharon as in Stone, or as in Ariel (sp?)?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Roy: Why are you called ralph, ralph?
It's quite a long, boring story actually. I'll spare you the gory details for the time being. Suffice it to say that I was looking for a very bland name so I might more easily blend in.
Why are you called Roy, Roy?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Apparently Sharon means "princess of exotic beauty" in Hebrew, heh.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: Apparently Sharon means "princess of exotic beauty" in Hebrew, heh.
Same in Essex.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
But which pronounciation?
Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
Why is Misc called Miscellaneous files? Why is Boy Racer called Boy Racer? Why is Ubertrick called Ubertrick? I want to know it all...
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Is Ariel Sharon dead yet? It's turning out to be a good year for evil politicians. *c'mon Thatcher*
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by turbo: Why is Misc called Miscellaneous files? Why is Boy Racer called Boy Racer? Why is Ubertrick called Ubertrick? I want to know it all...
Why turbo, turbo?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
quote:Why turbo, turbo?
Fancy.
We held off for 4 minutes.
Edit: Oh, for fuck's sake...
[ 15.03.2006, 10:09: Message edited by: Purple Monkey Dishwasher ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by turbo: Why is Ubertrick called Ubertrick? I want to know it all...
*ahem* Uber Trick - It's tricky... Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I still think that honeybaby owes the internet an explanation.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I'll spare you the gory details for the time being. Suffice it to say that I was looking for a very bland name so I might more easily blend in.
Why are you called Roy, Roy?
Same reason, really. I once told Kira that I was a big Roy Castle fan and that I named myself after him. I think she believed me.
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
I never did!
eta
unneccessary caps lock...
[ 15.03.2006, 10:21: Message edited by: Kira ]
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kira: I NEVER DID!
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
Fuck me, it's a one-eared cat.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Why me Bracer?
Shortly before introducing me to the ‘MO, and following my purchase of a super flash Kenwood car stereo DD mockingly said I’d make a good Boy Racer.
Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Why turbo, turbo?
It's all linked to nationality, tits and porn. Ask Louche.
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I still think that honeybaby owes the internet an explanation.
Sorry, I didn't think you were really that interested. Are you?
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Oh, yes.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
yes
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
Mmm, hmm.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by turbo: Ask Louche.
Yeah. Right.
[ 15.03.2006, 10:38: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
ralph means "Yes, Honeybaby. Very"
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Fuck yeah.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Roy: ralph means "Yes, Honeybaby. Very"
Not really, but don't let that stop you. I'm more interested in PMD. She seems oddly familiar to me, like I know her from somewhere...
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
?
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Is she an old flame?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Not familiar like that, Roy. I just feel like I know her from some other online forum. Or something.
[ 15.03.2006, 10:51: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
is she your mum?
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
I hope it's not a combination of both.
ETA as the page has flipped: I said 'an old flame?' and DM said 'His mum?'
Funny, eh?
[ 15.03.2006, 10:52: Message edited by: Roy ]
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
It's the same name I use on all the forums I visit - so it's about five or six years old. It was a term of endearment my ex used to use when he was taking the piss, I suppose I could think up something more *edgy* and *down with the kids* but I'm not really so there didn't seem much point in pretending.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: is she your mum?
lol. I should post a pic of my mom so you can all share a good laugh at the thought of her being on the internet. lol.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Roy: I hope it's not a combination of both.
Well done, Roy. Well done. Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
hey honeybaby - is this you? if so, you know. You're nice looking.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Yikes.
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
Nope, it isn't me at all but I'll suck up the compliments anyway.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
I bet Honeybaby never got controversy about whether she was male or female.
Everyone thought I was a big hairy man with big balls and a cock and everything when I first started posting here.
I should have picked something slinkier. And shorter.
[ 15.03.2006, 11:01: Message edited by: Purple Monkey Dishwasher ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
honeybaby, your namesake seems to party pretty hard. People still go clubbing then.
eta: quite a rack too.
[ 15.03.2006, 11:01: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher: I bet Honeybaby never got controversy about whether she was male or female.
Everyone with a non-gender specific username gets this. I swear it took Benway a year of me posting here to believe I was of the girl variety.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
If we're asking questions, WHY Bull Durham ??
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Or it might have been Bandy. It was someone beginning with a B anyway.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Has anyone asked Honeybaby about anal yet?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
sorry Louche. I think that the whole lucid/louche thing crossed over for me, seeing as you're both from north.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by Roy: Has anyone asked Honeybaby about anal yet?
Honeybaby has been here since 2003, roy.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
And no-one asked about anal? This place is going to the dogs.
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
Oh no, we talked about anal at great length (snigger) but then everyone else said don't tell Roy and edited their posts.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
honeybaby - you?
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
quote:Originally posted by Honeybaby: ...but then everyone else said don't tell Roy and edited their posts.
Bastards. They are always doing that.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
Just getting back to the name thing, why 'not...'?
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Why not what?
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: honeybaby - you?
Wow. You found me.
No. I did have a look for a photo but the only one I have here is my work ID and I'm not sure how to post it.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
quote:Originally posted by Roy: Why not what?
Why is not... called not...? But as you mention it, why not call not... not...?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Why is not... called not...? But as you mention it, why not call not... not...?
Please don't encourage him.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
He was called 'I am not..' I think, but then things changed.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
What changed? What isn't he?
[ 15.03.2006, 11:22: Message edited by: Purple Monkey Dishwasher ]
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
This is the question, isn't it? What is not not? Why did not not want to be I am not and instead just be not? I do not know why not is not called I am not and I pretty sure that not does not know either.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
He is not Dr. Benway. It stems from an old incident in which Seethru sex machine Tav registered under 'I am not tav'. Or somebody else might have. It was part of a wave of username swapping.
[ 15.03.2006, 11:27: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Honeybaby is tall. Maybe as tall as Bandy. We could fight them?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Or breeds thems into a race of giant super people who will rule us with an iron rod.
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
Am I? I'm 5'6. Is this site made up of dwarves? I'm hard pushed to think of any other reason I would appear freakishly tall.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
The profile linked to by Benway claimed you were 6 foot add.
Why Bull Durham ??????
[ 15.03.2006, 11:32: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
It's not a lifelong admiration for Bill Durham, just a desire to be kissed for three days.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Yuk, you've seen what happens to your hands after you've been in the bath for an hour, imagine that but 10 times worse and with your tongue....
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
Surely that's only if you stay in the same spot for the three days. I reckon if you work each body area on a rota basis it would be fine.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
quote:Originally posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Just getting back to the name thing, why 'not...'?
I explained this in 2002. I can't be arsed to do it again
Well, When I was a Bulletin board virgin, yes, once upon a time I was! Anyway I was on this board called Seethru. I registered with a username which I don't want to mention now because it's dead to me. Anyhow basically after the initial thrill of posting and people replying, this new communication I had discovered, this euphoric new world. I became slightly depressed. I then posted about how I was depressed.
I felt different about my username then. It seemed to be tarnished with my sadness. It had baggage.
Then there was a ruckus on the board. Long Time Poster "ben" commited BB suicide. He posted up his password. Then others did the same. Suddenly no one was sure who was controlling the usernames, it was quite excellent actually.
A short while after that "Sheik Daddy" made a username called "I am not Tav". (Tav was a popular poster of that time).
I was bored so I created a username called "I am not Dr Benway" and posted on a thread Dr Benway was on, for a joke. It wan't that funny but suddenly I found that I had reinvented myself. There was no depressing baggage wih this username and I continued to post under this guise.
Well, after a while I felt a bit guilty about it. You see, I was really clinging on to Dr Benways coat tails so to speak. Imagine a n00b calling himself "I am not Kovacs"... you can see how it would be an easy way to get attention yes?
So then Seethru went down, we moved to TMO. I used the oportunity to change my Username to "I am not..." dropping the Dr Benway and thereby losing the guilt.
I posted for many years like that and people kept abbreviating my username to IAN
I didn't like it. For starters I don't like the name and because it's an acronym but also makes a name it seems like people were always shouting it in caps. Like LONDON or PURPLE MONKEY DISHWASHER etc... you see
So then I got Darryn to change it to "not..."
and here we are.
be careful what you ask for huh?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
you'd probably get sensory fatigue and diminishing returns, what an anticlimax that'd be.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I don't think bandy fights lesbians. I'm sure he told me that. We were at Red Star in Brixton. We were mixing it up with some H5-2 crystals after smoking some Binknuts. His DJ mate Flash Harry was spinning some some malaysian tribal techfunk, and we were spazzled. Anyway, I fucking chuck my guts up in the bogs after necking a quart of grey goose, and he drags me out of the bogs by the cord on the bottom of my utility trousers. I was all fucked and shit, black inky crap all over my new ShoeStar trainers, wailing like a million ninjas. I told him that this Dreadnick chick had been bitching my grip (which she had), and that's why I'd told Flash Harry that the tunes were fucking 'Starsky sans Hutch' Bandy was fucking micking out at this, shouting over the telephonic hypernoise that he was gonna fuckin 'grip the bitch like no bitch had been gripped before'. Fucking halfdoubles across the rinse room, grabs the dreadnick by her plastic hurks, but she's clearly a you know, you know, so he just wrecks space over to me (I'm a nonce by now) and just as his ears blow out in two crimson explosions, he fucking screams into my nutsack eyes that he "won't tussle with diana".
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Imagine all the fuff you could work out of each others belly buttons.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
sorry
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
well done not, you killed it with your boring story.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Lol.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
hey jonesy, look at this.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote: Dr. Benway
posted 01 May 2001 12:14 PM -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- I sit in an office, on my own, all day. I speak to nobody, apart from people who come in and 'want' something. I have no problems regarding seethru in this respect. I have been slacking on my work quite seriously now though, and have a mountain to get through.
Maybe I should leave it for a while
ho ho, how things have changed.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I like this little exchange:
quote:Doc When
I want to be an artist.
It constantly frustrates me that there's no money in it until you're dead, so I have to do a dull office job to get money.
I'd love to pack it all in and be bohemian. I really need to win the Lottery. Must buy a ticket...
quote:Infinite Jones
Well, doc, go to Bohemia then. I am sure Richard could give you some pointers. Although I wouldnt know what you would do with hunting dogs, unless you the hunting kinda doc, of course. For in Bohemia they still have bears. Shoot these at the first go though, because if you miss, you will get a sore bummy. Or, if you meant like Bohemia as a figure of speech, you can always go and be fireguard on Desolation Peak and write about it. Hey !!! Watch out !!! Behind you !!!
quote:Doc When
This is why I didn't capitalise: "bohemian", rather than "Bohemian". See - there is method in my madness (that's madness as in "insanity" rather than Madness the band).
[ 15.03.2006, 12:28: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Five years, guys. Five years.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
oh my me. when will you people LET IT GO.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I was just going to point that out. You should all be very ashamed of yourselves. Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i mean, i love sitting vacantly in front of a screen so familiar i could close my eyes and recite passages from it word- for- word and wondering for the nth time why my life vacillates between the twin states of stasis and freefall as much as the next forite... but you know, im gonna have to start pleading soon. no more. please stop linking to it. i mean, why? what does it achieve? nothing. nothing. nothing tralala. i mean, how can you not be sick to retching death of your seethru selves?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Yeah, Benway.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm sorry
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
Gosh. I'm off to Bohemia in a couple of weeks, too (well, close: Prague).
I hope I don't get bumraped by IJ's bears.
EDIT: Ooh - I found this:
quote:Me, ages ago, talking about SeeThru merchandise: How about: [T-shirt] on the front, and... [/T-shirt] on the back.
Or is that too sad?
Now there's something I might resurrect!
[ 16.03.2006, 06:35: Message edited by: Doctor Agamemnon When ]
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