7.10am: Bobbing nicely down the M67, the sun is shining, the traffic not as heavy as normal and the haunting, infectious voice of Stevie Nicks providing the perfect backdrop to an otherwise stress-free, unobtrusive start to the day. Little did I know that upon passing Junction 22, this was all about to change.
I was driving in the third lane, about two car lengths behind the Audi in front. The Audi had a further five cars in front of him. I was doing a steady 80-85 miles per hour, which I don't consider to be a sluggish pace. Then a little twat in a Vauxhall 'Cavalier' appeared behind me. He edged closer and closer until he was literally a couple of feet from the rear of my car. Why the fuck do people do this? It is fucking obsurd. Could the **** not see that there was a long line of steady-moving traffic in the third lane already? What the fuck was he trying to achieve, other than to appear to want to fuck me aggressively up the arse, then cum on my back? Cause a seven car pile-up perhaps?
Well, I deduced that his mindless ploy was to entice me to close in on the Audi in front in order to, you know, save him a valuable thousandth of a second on his travel time. Obviously I declined to co-operate as I find such drving to be both extremely dangerous and also headsplittingly infuriating. Instead, I opted to 'tap' my brake pedal gently in order to, hopefully, make the retard realise that he'd better withdraw his penis from my arse posthaste and keep his fucking distance. He didn't. He then had the audacity to get annoyed himself and refused to back off, opting instead to edge even closer! I was now in a sweating rage and started tapping harder and for longer periods on my brakes before the fat-headed, inbred gridder decided to accelerate past me and swerve wrecklessly in between me and the Audi in front. I was now laughing at the 'human', who then proceeded to almost crash into the back of the Audi owing to the fact that he was too busy staring me out in his scum-lined mirror. All I could do was shake my head in sheer disbelief at his actions.
This guy could easily have caused a huge disaster on the M67 this morning. When I say he was close to the Audi, I mean he was literally touching it. The force at which he had to brake told the story. Fucking insane.
With relief, I then arrived at my exit and proceeded on to work, still shaking with both anger and utter frustration. I have since calmed down, thanks to a nice brew and a ham sandwich.
Has anybody else witnessed similarly irritating, mindless, pointless and infuriating actions by scumfuckers recently?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: about two car lengths... 80-85 miles per hour
*shiver* Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I was going to say that, Dang, but feared I would again look like a po-faced hag. I even looked up 'safe lengths' on google, to find that at 70mph, the safe stopping distance is 24 car lengths. God knows what it is at 80-85mph. Not that you're likely to come across a stationery car in the outside lane, but still. Two lengths. *soils pants*
As for people being irritating twats, I find they always are.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Okay: Looking out of the window at cars parked outside my office currently, I would say that two car lengths probably wasn't an accurate guide. Bear in mind that I had a rear view of the Audi and as a result, it was fairly difficult to accurately ascertain the exact distance between me and him. However, as far as travelling on a busy motorway goes, it was a safe distance. Probably, upon reflection, a good four average-sized car lengths.
24 car lengths would be ideal, but far from reality in the morning pre rush-hour traffic.
[ 15.06.2006, 08:03: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
drivers over here scare the living daylights out of me
Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
I used to drive lorries back in the States... You know, the 72 foot long, 80,000 pound (weight) jobbies?
Anyway, I was toodling through PA at about 4am one night after driving for 13 hours straight from Minnisota and this toerag behind me decides to get right behind my trailer with high beams on.
Now we are on a 4 lane highway, just me an him, and my truck can only do 70mph thanks to a governor so the opportunity for him to pass was infinite.
Anyway, he didn't for ages and was blinding the hell out of me for about 4 miles until I had enough.
I don't know how different lorries are here, or even if anyone has any experience with their 'workings', but on our trucks there is a seperate brake for the trailer which locks the axels which aide in making sharp turns whilst not effecting the tractor at all. So, with this guy behind me doing 70mph, I locked my trailor tires and thanks to inertia kept a steady speed whilst the tires on the trailer locked.
A plume of smoke to envy the end of the world then flowed from the smoking tires and I couldn't see the lights anymore, let alone the car.. About about 500 yards later I let up on the brake and smoke cleared. The car was about 3 miles behind me now and never got close again.
My sense of triumph was short lived as I started to feel a 'thump thump thump' coming from the trailer. I soon pulled into a petrol station to fuel up and whilst the tanks were filling, I went to check the tires and there was a proper flat spot on all 8 tires where about 1/2 inch of rubber now decortated a PA highway...
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: 24 car lengths would be ideal
What, ideal if you had any sort of wish to stay alive you mean?
It's kind of surprising that more of us don't have some sort of altar set up just inside our front doors so we can kneel and give thanks to [enter name of preferred Supreme Deity] every time we get home in one piece.
Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
quote:Originally posted by Grianagh: drivers over here scare the living daylights out of me
Really? Why, because they drive scarily or because they drive as though they don't know how to?
Since coming here and driving in London, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't want to get out and smack the fuck out of the people around me.
Where the fuck do most of these people learn to drive, on a video game?
Though, it does provide me with hours of entertainment too... Nothing like watching someone in a smart car take 20 minutes to parallel <sp?> park in something you can get a people carrier in...
My next door neighbour asked me to park her car once because she couldn't...
I blame it on all the shit cars that are on the market here... Citroen... Pugeuot... Rover... haha
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by sabian: I went to check the tires and there was a proper flat spot on all 8 tires where about 1/2 inch of rubber now decorated a PA highway...
I get that with shopping trolleys at Tescos. You pick one up from the car park where the ground is all bumpy and it's only when you get to the smooth shop floor that you realise you've got one with a flat spot and it goes *bump* *bump* *bump* all through the shopping.
These flat spots must be caused by idiotic customers locking the one lockable wheel and then the idiotic bloke that collects the trolleys comes along and pushes a whole row of them through the car park, rubbing a chunk out of the wheel.
That's not quite as rugged and manly a story as Sabian's, but it's still relevant to the thread I feel.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by sabian: Why, because they drive scarily or because they drive as though they don't know how to?
a bit of both actually. everyone seems to drive very fast or very slow - in the same lanes at the same time- leading to a lot of anger
as far as not knowing how to drive.... i agree. it's almost as if people forget the rules the moment they are behind the wheel. ive been driving for 16 years. i am sure that when i began driving i wasnt the best driver, but we were forced day upon day to take rules, regulations and practical driving tests... so many that it become automatic. i lamely even turn my indicator on to pull into the driveway.
i haven't had to take a drivers test over here yet- but surely it's required to parallel park, 3 point turn, etc to pass?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: What, ideal if you had any sort of wish to stay alive you mean?
I mean it would be ideal, but as I said in the same sentence:
quote:, but far from reality in the morning pre-rush hour traffic.
Have you ever driven on a busy motorway, or are your driving experiences confined mainly to long, windy country lanes with only yourself and a lone tractor driver as company?
If so, you are one very lucky individual.
[ 15.06.2006, 07:33: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
quote:Originally posted by Grianagh: i haven't had to take a drivers test over here yet- but surely it's required to parallel park, 3 point turn, etc to pass?
I dunno... I still drive on my NY license! Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by sabian: Anyway, he didn't for ages and was blinding the hell out of me for about 4 miles until I had enough.
*shudder*
I had a similar instance last night, but this time I was doing 70 miles per hour, in the middle lane*. This prick in a Subaru Impreza was gaining ground behind me, then turned his fucking foglights on. He then overtook me on the outside lane, then swerved across into the first lane, before taking the next junction. What??
His foglights left a huge, blurry, stained image in my eyes for seemingly minutes.
*The nearest car was approximately 18 car lengths away. It was pitch black, therefore possibly 20 car lengths.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:Originally posted by dang65: What, ideal if you had any sort of wish to stay alive you mean?
I mean it would be ideal, but as I said in the same sentence:
quote:, but far from reality in the morning pre-rush hour traffic.
Listen, I'm not saying to deserve some sort of individual criticism. It's the way people generally drive cars round these parts. But if you don't think it's completely insane to drive like that, however commonplace it may be, then I guess you don't consider your own life to be worth much. There's plenty of other people that think the same, or don't think at all more likely.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I don't think people prioritise very well when they're driving.
Put the following in order:
KILLING MYSELF (AND MY PASSENGERS) KILLING SOME OTHER ANONYMOUS PERSON(S) SMASHING MY CAR UP HAVING A TERRIBLE TRAUMATISING ACCIDENT LOSING MY NO-CLAIMS BONUS SPILLING EVERYTHING OUT OF MY GLOVE COMPARTMENT GETTING TO WHERE I'M GOING DRIVING REALLY QUITE FAST
Okay?
Now, try it while you're driving.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
I've certainly been on rush-hour motorways with hundreds of cars doing 80 plus with no more than two cars distance between. I'd have left more room but some **** would have filled it. Terrified isn't the word.
Excluding the seemingly random application of indicating and right of way rules in London, my favourite British driving lunacy is the motorway habit some seem to have of tail-gating you until you get out of their way, only to slow down again once they pass you.
[ 15.06.2006, 07:57: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: But if you don't think it's completely insane to drive like that, however commonplace it may be, then I guess you don't consider your own life to be worth much.
I consider my life to be worth a great deal, funnily enough and I don't consider the way I drive to be 'insane'. I've been driving for 8 years and have been involved in no accidents to date. I don't expect that to change for the forseeable future. But who knows what's around the corner?
As our motorway systems become increasingly more congested, the probability of suffering an accident inevitably increases in line with this, so I won't hold my breath.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: the traffic not as heavy as normal and the haunting, infectious voice of Stevie Nicks providing the perfect backdrop to an otherwise stress-free, unobtrusive start to the day
It wasn't The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, was it?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: It wasn't The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, was it?
It was Rhiannon, actually.
I save The Chain for on the way home. Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
For what it's worth, in my limited sample, I found UK drivers generally to be refreshingly competent when compared with Massholes. The sort of asshole-overtaking story Zygote described initially wouldn't be uncommon to see several times on any given morning on the Massachusetts Turnpike.
I should mention that the American system makes it reasonably easy to identify dangerous drivers at a distance- state-issued license plates. The list of states best avoided is lengthy and includes most of the north-east portion of the country. Especially New Jersey and Rhode Island *shudder*
[ 15.06.2006, 08:28: Message edited by: froopyscot ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: It wasn't The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, was it?
Mart - King of the retmo meme.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Misc, tell the story of when we nearly died. Where we both sat for the fraction of a milisecond expecting a 7 car pile up to kill us both. But it never happened.
Oh I told it. Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
aha! but cruise control is great for those times when you are changing clothes while driving because you are running late on your way to meet up with friends
not that ive done that
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by mart: It wasn't The Chain by Fleetwood Mac, was it?
Mart - King of the retmo meme.
Ralph's mum used to play that song to him when he was a kid.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Aside from mechanical failure, it's hard to think of a reason for motorway accidents, considering all you're doing is driving in a straight line. Some people really do drive like *****, but it's a really bad idea to brake-test them. I simply move over as soon as it's safe to do so. No point in putting yourself in danger over a matter of pride.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I simply move over as soon as it's safe to do so. No point in putting yourself in danger over a matter of pride.
This is a good point. I suppose certain people could remove the anger element out of the equation and simply diffuse an impending situation by moving over. However, I'm very stubborn and refuse to allow dickheads to think they're 'getting the better of me', when I feel that I am completely in the right.
My mindset is such that I would rather refuse the option of changing lanes unnecessarily (and possibly, in the heat of the moment, colliding with traffic in the middle lane) to accommodate a clueless louse who was achieving fuck-all by driving in such a manner.
Admittedly, the 'brake-testing' response to anally-obsessed drivers was introduced to me by my driving instructor.
10 years ago...
I was travelling at 30 miles per hour dead and this woman driver was tail-hugging me, shrieking obsceneties and waving her arms around like a rabid, crack-addicted hooker. He whispered, "Don't tell anybody I've told you to do this" and instructed me to tap the brake pedal a few times to ward off the hysterical woman behind. It worked a fucking treat and we continued our magical journey into the unknown, discovering many fruits and sources of urban pleasure along the way.
In conclusion: I blame the teachers.
[ 15.06.2006, 10:49: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Isn't there some trick you can do with switching the fog lights on, which look like brake lights, so you don't even slow down yourself but the psycho behind slams his anchors on anyway. I can never seem to find the fog light switch on my car quickly enough to do it though.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: However, I'm very stubborn and refuse to allow dickheads to think they're 'getting the better of me', when I feel that I am completely in the right.
With this cock-head attitude, you are probably increasing the sum total of danger on the road. More boringly, you're definitely increasing the sum total of misery and bad manners on the road.
If a female poster posted the above, I guarantee that three quarters of the people reading it would think 'stupid bitch'. Men seem to be able to express such fuckwittery with complete impunity, though, for some reason.
If you're going to be behind the wheel of what is, in this country as in many others, the most lethal weapon there is, I suggest you fucking grow up and cease thinking that the entire world revolves around you and your feelings.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
My ex-girlfriend used to love playing 'up yours fuckface' on the country lanes. Whenever someone in a BMW gets right up behind her she'll floor the car on the straights and slow down to a crawl on the ominous bends. Man, for goths we were pretty humorous.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Cor, despite the recent spell of hot weather, I see a storm brewing up north.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Driving would be so much better without anyone else on the roads. As in Zygote's case: it's so annoying to be speeding too close to the car in front, and for a bellend behind to want to speed and be too close to the car in front instead.
I have fitted bazookas in my boot to blast to buggery anyone who dares come too close to my precious N-reg. They work a treat.
Posted by Pink (Member # 459) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: floor the car on the straights and slow down to a crawl on the ominous bends.
That just sounds like one of the standard pieces of bad country-lane driving. It is almos as bad as Mr 45mpg, whatever the limit this is the speed that he will do, Village with lots of houses and no pavements he will stay at his constant speed, national speed limit? same speed.
As for tailgating, on the rare occasion that it happens, I would much rather have the fool in front of me than behind me.
kisses
[ 15.06.2006, 11:18: Message edited by: Pink ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Pink: That just sounds like one of the standard pieces of bad country-lane driving.
She wore New-Rocks to drive too. Man those were wild times.
Posted by Pink (Member # 459) on :
Well that would make the flooring part a lot easier!
kisses
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Oh......welcome back pink.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Isn't there some trick you can do with switching the fog lights on, which look like brake lights, so you don't even slow down yourself but the psycho behind slams his anchors on anyway. I can never seem to find the fog light switch on my car quickly enough to do it though.
My American driving instructor - an instructor who happened to be American, not an instructor of American driving - taught me that in such situations you can tap the brake pedal with your left foot, whilst continuing to accelerate with the right foot. If you do it very gingerly (depending on the car), it will trigger the brake light without activating the brakes. This tends to confuse the tailgater, as they see the "oh shit, stop" signal at the same time as your car pulls away.
I suppose this method hails from a country where there are usually only two pedals, so it was probably unwise to recommend it to a confused 17 year old in a stick-shift Vauxhall Corsa.
[ 15.06.2006, 11:25: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I find that, no matter how close the person behind gets to your rear bumper, they're quite reluctant to actually crash into you and so long as you maintain a steady speed, they'll eventually just give up and back off when they see you're not phased by it.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: a country where there are usually only two pedals
Our Defender was like that, except the two pedals were gas and clutch. If you took your foot off the gas then it slowed down as if you were braking. This was great for country lane driving actually, with lots of bends, because you wouldn't lose momentum in the same way as you do when braking. I used to be able to out run much faster cars on roads like that. I really miss that thing actually, despite its much-loathed massive 4x4-ness. It's the only car I've ever had which actually had a bit of character, both to look at and to drive.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
B-but how did you stop quickly? As in when a startled faun gambols into your path?
For some reason 'proper' Landrovers aren't as repellent as most 4x4s - probably as they seem to be driven by people who actually need to cross muddy fields, rather than just Fulham Broadway.
I can't understand how BMW 4x4s exist. Surely the multiple elements of wank should cause a vortex of impossibleness?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: I can't understand how BMW 4x4s exist. Surely the multiple elements of wank should cause a vortex of impossibleness?
LOL excellent. How do you feel about the Porsche 4x4, herbs?
It's for people who would like to buy a real Porsche, but need space for plenty of baby seats. Bless 'em.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
for some reason they only reach a 9.9 on the WankVortex, as it's the only Porsche with rear seats. But still... second against the wall.
Posted by Pink (Member # 459) on :
The only thing I have against the Cayenne is that it is one of the ugliest cars in christendom.
kisses
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: it's the only Porsche with rear seats.
Not true! Look at these lovely, comfortable back seats from the 911:
LOL.
Also - Hey Pink
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You know those seats actually cripple peole just by looking. I mean, things like seats should never ever look uncomfortable.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
xx
[ 16.06.2006, 02:26: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by Online Poker (Member # 870) on :
x
[ 16.06.2006, 02:53: Message edited by: Online Poker ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: B-but how did you stop quickly? As in when a startled faun gambols into your path?
Then you apply the e-brake.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
i've only recently learned that most americans never learn how to drive manuals
my uncle gave me driving lessons when i was 14 in a stick shift on gravelled country roads. He would stop the car in the middle of a steep hill,pull the emergency brake, get out of the car and say -"alright, drive - and don't kill it, there might be a car coming over that hill"
fun times
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: With this cock-head attitude, you are probably increasing the sum total of danger on the road.
You should probably keep your retarded, ill-founded allegations to yourself, ben. Unless you can provide hard evidence to justify your comment. You fucking cocksucker*.
quote: More boringly, you're definitely increasing the sum total of misery and bad manners on the road.
Definitely?? Who the fuck do you think you are? Our Almighty Masterful Overlord who knows all and sees all? You have no idea how I drive on a daily basis. I am actually a very considerate driver, you know - giving way, smiling at old people, beeping my horn and shaking my fists at local scallywags. I am a credit to an otherwise vicious, over-competitive, knucklehead-dominated transport system. Scrotum eyes**.
quote:If a female poster posted the above, I guarantee that three quarters of the people reading it would think 'stupid bitch'.
See comment re: Our Almighty Masterful Overlord. Why reverse the scenario sexually? What are you trying to achieve by doing so? The scenario would be the same regardless of gender. In addition, are you implying that three quarters of the people who have read this thread already will have opted to take a different stance if I was female? That's a strange one. That is bordering on prehistoric and definitely presumptious to the extreme. Why do you feel that you decide what other people might think. It's a shabby thought process. Arguably, tattered.
quote:If you're going to be behind the wheel
There are no "ifs" about it. I am. You comment as though you somehow possess the ability to transform other people's actions and thoughts. Have you considered a career in politics? I hear that the BNP are recruiting new councillors. If you're not already involved in a political position, it may be a viable route.
quote: the most lethal weapon there is,
Most lethal fucking weapon? [obvious]There are far more lethal, destructive weapons in this country, however if a motor vehicle is your idea of the most lethal, I suspect that you are one of the fortunate few who do not witness life as it truly is.[/obvious]
quote:cease thinking that the entire world revolves around you and your feelings.
Apologies. I was unaware that this forum was - actually - the entire world. If that isn't what you meant, then please refer back to my comments re: your presumptions on my thoughts and intentions. Which are based on a solid foundation of steaming dog shit and backed up with no evidence whatsoever, other than a post regarding a rather irritating journey on the way to work.
quote:I suggest you fucking grow up
I suggest you never try saying that to my face if we were ever to meet at some point later in life. Having said that, it would be barely worth wasting any physical effort on somebody who's idea of an offensive gesture is to say, "fucking grow up", but it would 'probably' be fucking fun anyway and, owing to the fact that I'm nothing more than a fucking 'cock-head***', it would do be doing my perceived character no injustice whatsoever anyway.
Now go home and get your fucking shine-box.
*Obligatory, ill-founded allegation. **2nd obligatory, ill-founded allegation. ***Last heard 23 years ago in a nursery, up North.
[ 16.06.2006, 06:37: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:I suggest you fucking grow up
I suggest you never try saying that to my face if we were ever to meet at some point later in life. You would not walk away.
R...Roy?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
b...ben?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:Originally posted by ben: [qb]the most lethal weapon there is,
Most lethal fucking weapon? [obvious]There are far more lethal, destructive weapons in this country, however if a motor vehicle is your idea of the most lethal, I suspect that you are one of the fortunate few who do not witness life as it truly is.[/obvious]
It's true that there are more lethal weapons in existence. Thing is though, they are kept locked away, with complex procedures to be negotiated before carefully selected personnel are allowed to activate them.
Cars, on the other hand, have people like you driving them. It's really not very reassuring.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Cars, on the other hand, have people like you
Please elaborate on the "like you" element of your Daily Mail-esque, tedious re-iteration of what ben said.
quote:Thing is though, they are kept locked away, with complex procedures to be negotiated before carefully selected personnel are allowed to activate them.
That's one way of describing drug usage, dang65. I think you'll find that they're not locked away and the 'personnel' are not carefully selected.
[ 16.06.2006, 05:31: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Please elaborate on the "like you" element of your Daily Mail-esque, tedious re-iteration of what ben said.
A coiled spring of rage. Nothing you haven't said yourself like.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: still shaking with both anger and utter frustration.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I've been driving for 8 years and have been involved in no accidents to date.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I suggest you never try saying that to my face if we were ever to meet at some point later in life. You would not walk away.
That sort of stuff. Again, I'm not singling you out for personal criticism, just saying that cars are driven by people like you, and me for that matter, which makes them more commonplace dangerous than anything else on the planet.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I was really enjoying zygoye's dressing down of ben, there... until... the threat bit. Threats of physical harm on the internet are just silly.
If I ever get my hands on you zygote you're fucking d-dead! I'll kick your fucking t-teeth in! I'll punch you in the crackers, you c-**** !
See?
Silly.
You fucked it.
I'm dejected now.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: A coiled spring of rage. Nothing you haven't said yourself like.
Oh. Right. That's okay then. I thought you was going to call me a "cock-head" or some such throwaway pseudo-offensive term.
I don't know a single person who doesn't possess an element of rage. It's a basic human trait. If somebody/something annoys you, then it's completely natural to feel somewhat unhappy about it. My initial post was rageful in that the rage led to my tapping my brake pedal. It's not as though I chased the guy to his destination, jumped out of my car and ordered him to 'put his mouth on the fucking kerb', is it?
The rage contained in my response to ben's hilarious post was I felt was justified as he merely attempted to point his finger at me (in a fashion not dissimilar to a geeky, spot-ridden primary school prefect) and try to damn my actions via a screen of crass, presumptive comments that harboured very little thought on his part.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
'Fucking grow up' was the icing on the Patronising Cake though wasn't it?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Who is the hardest person on TMO, these days, though? I suppose back in the day it was easily LowLevel, with his bizarre stories of specialist military training and the like. Then there's this Roy thing, which I missed, but he's not here these days. So who's left? Who could really fucking fuck someone the fuck up?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Threats of physical harm on the internet are just silly.
As was ben's, "just fucking grow up" comment. I am, however regretting 'fighting fire with fire' with a similarly silly comment. I have stooped to ben's level.
And for that I am truly sorry.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
If someone could come up with a means of harnessing Zygote's rage we could power TMO off it for the afternoon and give the poor donkey a break. Take it off to a field somewhere and let it chill and talk to the bunnies and eat carrots. That would be nice, wouldn't it?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Who could really fucking fuck someone the fuck up?
Are we allowed to use cars?
Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Who could really fucking fuck someone the fuck up?
I think the only non-pussies left are me and Physic...
Wanna test me? Ponce!
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
No cars. Just rolled up sleeves, bare fists. Kicking, biting and pulling hair allowed. Possible use of tag-team partner if both parties agree.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: If someone could come up with a means of harnessing Zygote's rage we could power TMO off it for the afternoon and give the poor donkey a break. Take it off to a field somewhere and let it chill and talk to the bunnies and eat carrots. That would be nice, wouldn't it?
He has a name you freak!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I don't know a single person who doesn't possess an element of rage. It's a basic human trait.
Yeah, but when we evolved that instinctive, adrenaline rush, fight or flight reflex we weren't regularly traveling at 85mph in a steel cage just a few feet from the person in front. We'd probably have evolved a special "chill-out and slow down you idiot, it's not worth dying for" reflex instead if that had been our natural environment.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Who is the hardest person on TMO, these days, though? I suppose back in the day it was easily LowLevel, with his bizarre stories of specialist military training and the like. Then there's this Roy thing, which I missed, but he's not here these days. So who's left? Who could really fucking fuck someone the fuck up?
that must be some motivational speaker you are being subjected to today
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Possible use of tag-team partner if both parties agree.
I'd put my money on Uber Trick.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Seriously though, road rage is ridiculous. I mean, look at what actually happened. Z was being tailgated and he felt threatened by that. The instinctive response, one completely different to the one that most rational people would display in any other situation of conflict, was to try and antagonise the tailgater. A rational response it simply to move out of the way and let the guy go about his business pissing off other motorists, knowing that you’ve got yourself out of harm’s way, but instead the reaction actually creates an even more dangerous situation because once behind the wheel of a car, most people feel absolutely invincible. Ego plays a massive part in this, I used to get wound up something chronic by anyone wanting to overtake me. I quickly learnt that there was no point in getting into these games in rush hour traffic because you’re creating a dangerous situation, and far from being in the right, you’re acting just as dangerously as the person behind you.
Life is far less stressful when you realise that about 3 seconds after the guy has passed you, he’s forgotten all about you. He’s not sitting in his car thinking “ha harr! That weak willed piece of road furniture got totally SERVED! I am WIN!” he’s just sitting behind the wheel gnashing his teeth in fury at anything that seems to obstruct his path. It’s not personal, he’s just a prick, but if you refuse to get out of the way then unfortunately you’re being just as big a prick by endangering yourself and other road users because of the illusion of a bruised ego.
When you get into these games with tailgaters, you arrive at your destination absolutely furious and it plays on your mind for hours afterwards. If you move over, you’ve forgotten about it within 5 minutes and it ceases to bother you.
I know some people may see some irony in my saying these things because I’ll freely admit that I am a fast driver, but there are certain things I do to make sure that I do so as safely as possible, which includes never getting too close to cars which I think are driving unpredictably, leaving a reasonable gap to allow me to slow down and stop in case of an emergency, and giving plenty of notice to other road users when I’m going to change lanes and overtake. If you drive like this, you will get to your destination faster and calmer than if you’re sat up someone’s arse chewing on your steering wheel in frustration.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Possible use of tag-team partner if both parties agree.
Ralph, I think you should find a partner and take on Team Girlsex.
Oh Misc, we are so predictable.
[ 16.06.2006, 06:03: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I'd like to see Thorn fight the donkey.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: the donkey.
For. Fucks. Sake Louche! Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by Grianagh: that must be some motivational speaker you are being subjected to today
Yeah, and he hasn't even arrived yet! Whattaguy. Funnily enough his talk is going to be about running a business like a military operation, apparently.
I find it hard to believe I endured all those years of self-employment and being my own boss when I could have been discovering the delights of corporate life and motivational speakers. Brilliant.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I'm sorry, NWOD, I can't be arsed looking up the donkey's name. If you tell me what it is, I will use it. Honest.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I'd like to see Thorn fight the donkey.
Is that a euphemism?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I'm sorry, NWOD, I can't be arsed looking up the donkey's name. If you tell me what it is, I will use it. Honest.
Look, just because you are jocking the TMO part-time shift, doesn't mean I am gonna cover for you when the boss comes around.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I presume that this thread isn't going to be put on the front page of the site.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I don't know how people can justifiably say there's a negative vibe to the forum nowadays.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I think there should be a picture of the donkey on the front page. Lovely donkey. I think I might be getting unhealthily obsessed with the donkey.
And I can't help being part time, Mikee. At least three quarters of my cerebral cortex is currently occupied with thinking about shoes. that leaves an eighth keeping me breathing/ moving etc and a sixteenth remembering how to use a PC, leaving only one final last sixteenth for TMO. It's a parlous state of affairs, but there you go.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
LOL at Ringo, Zygote, y'know I might front page it as it has people talking, I just can't do it during the CMS update I'm currently reading through and getting ready to run..
Maybe Monday..
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Psst, Louche! It's "Neville" Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Also, where is VP? I have an Orlando Bloom story for her.
I would contribute to the rage converstation under discussion but I can't drive.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Uber Trick: saving friumites from social faux pas since 2002.
Neville's a shit name for a donkey, though.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I didn't name it. Who did name it?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
And is it named for Aaron Neville or Neville Chamberlain?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Hey, perhaps you guys should make your own thread where you can play your little donkey game?
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
i once had a mule named mandy not that that helps or anything
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Grianagh: i once had a mule named mandy
Sounds like a rejected Johnny Cash song title.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Okay, back on the road rage topic (to make Ringo happy): So what's the fix then? We can't expect people to not be jackasses, because let's face it, it's pretty central to the whole human experience. Just the same, we can't expect people to not get pissed off when confronted by a jackass (see also: how well that whole 'turn the other cheek' approach has worked historically). And given that we're not likely to cut the number of cars on the road absent a tripling or quadrupling of fuel costs (please don't let anyone from the Bush administration or oil industry read this, they might get an idea), what's to be done?
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: Sounds like a rejected Johnny Cash song title.
actually, it sounds like the perfect johnny cash song
[no disrespect to jc] in his version of u2's 'one' he sounds like mr. ed- all it needs is a 'wilburrrrrr' at the end.[/no disrespect to jc]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I once ran over a cycle courier with my mobile library. He was less than chuffed.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
i ran over a dog when i was 12- in my parents car i saw it crossing the road and accidentally pushed the fuel instead of the brake
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
You drivers are so touchy.
Uber- does the Orlando Bloom story involve the pretty-faced one needing somewhere to stay in SW19 this weekend? Anything else will probably just depress me further.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I once had a mule named Mandy, Purdiest mule you ever did see. And maybe she was a little bandy, But Mandy meant the world to me.
Mandy wandered down to the honky-tonk Took up with some good ol' boys. Drinkin' liquor, dancin' and a cussin' Paintin' her tail and makin' noise.
"Mandy, why d'you leave me?" Answer came there none. Now Mandy's lyin' in the Texas dust I done shot her with my gun...
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Taken down, due to the danger of door salesman, rapists and stalkers
[ 16.06.2006, 07:39: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Well done, Mikee.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Why the sad face?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Because I am actually a ball of tears underneath an otherwise jovial exterior. If I were a song. I'd be Radiohead's 'Creep'
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
You didn't need to edit, twas a genuinely meant well done. D'you know I'm getting the tone so wrong these days I may as well just give up.
Today, if I were a song I would be something terribly chirpy yet utterly disposible. Probably that horrible New Radicals one from a while back. You know the one I mean, played for a whole summer in 2002 or something.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You've got the music in you?
'Well done' is the ultimate all time sarcastic put-down of the world. My favourite extension of this is 'What else did you get for christmas?' e.g. when someone displays their fists in a brawl as if they have just torn the wrapping off and can't wait to use them for the first time. Like when someone beeps the horn, you say 'well done' unless Zygote is driving, because he might drive the car under your ribcage, shattering your heart, permanently destroying every happy thought you ever had.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: And given that we're not likely to cut the number of cars on the road absent a tripling or quadrupling of fuel costs (please don't let anyone from the Bush administration or oil industry read this, they might get an idea), what's to be done?
Not a great deal can be done really. Ringo's post earlier probably sums it up well. It's just very hard to keep your temper in line when:
a. It's very early in the morning and you're still half asleep (I'm a rotten morning person) and
b. It was nice and relaxing one minute, before some prick intrudes into your personal space and single-handedly shatters your little bubble of tranquility.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: unless Zygote is driving, because he might drive the car under your ribcage, shattering your heart, permanently destroying every happy thought you ever had.
*sniff* Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
When man wields the deadliest of weapons, he feels no remorse.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: ... still half asleep (I'm a rotten morning person)
*shudder*
[edited to preserve Zygote's record as not being an Indian]
[ 16.06.2006, 09:31: Message edited by: herbs ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs:
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: ... I still half asleep
*shudder*
I didn't put that herbs! I said, "when you're half asleep". At least edit my quotes to make sense please! The above quote makes me look like an Indian.
"Me is Bongo. Me Injun. Umm. I still half asleep." Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Racist Indian slur, ...fuck you up herbs, in my car
Posted by Pink (Member # 459) on :
On the flip side of all of this, a message to the dickhead on the BMW estate. 70 mph is not an acceptable speed to be doing in lane 3 of a free flowing M4. If you want to go slow do it in the lane to the left of you that as nobody in it. I suggest looking in your rear view mirror more often.
kisses
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Uber- does the Orlando Bloom story involve the pretty-faced one needing somewhere to stay in SW19 this weekend? Anything else will probably just depress me further.
(Sorry Ringo) Almost... I was having dinner with my friend Keda last night and she was telling me about last Sunday when she was out in Crouch End with her boyfriend. Her friend invited her to his garden party and they decided to pop in on their way to the restaurant they were going to that evening. Keda was sitting at the end of the garden chatting to her friend when this boy sits down next to her and says "Hello, what's your name?" "Keda" she replies "I'm Orlando" he says and then starts chatting away to her. Apparently he had his dog with him.
Needless to say she made frantic signals to her boyfriend to phone the restaurant and make the booking later. She said that she was able to say very little after that but he was very nice and friendly. Her friend was his art teacher or something and they stayed in touch.
So there you go, always accept those party invitations because you never know who you could meet!
(Sorry Ringo. Sorry Zygote. I'll stop talking over your thread now.)
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Pink: On the flip side of all of this, a message to the dickhead on the BMW estate. 70 mph is not an acceptable speed to be doing in lane 3 of a free flowing M4.
Erm, 70mph is the most speed you should do in lane 3 of the M4.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
If you're quick Zygote, you could take swift advantage of this.
Posted by Pink (Member # 459) on :
That maybe the law but the reality of motorway driving is very different. So here we have mr 'im safe because im doing the speed limit' having no idea that behind him is a queue of cars. When the right thing to do was to move into the nearly empty lane 2. This is the sort of driving that encourages undertaking.
kisses
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote:Erm, 70mph is the most speed you should do in lane 3 of the M4.
I was going to mention that...I went in a car yesterday, on a motorway, it was fucking terrifying.
I love how car conversations make everyone so mentalist...
speed bumps! cyclists! speed limits!
...watch them go...!
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Rules are there to be broken. The only rule is: there are no rules. Unless, of course you elect to break the latter 'rule', leading to a reversal of the former statement.
"Soon the world will be mine. Anarchy will hit the streets. The Government will be tossed asunder and its constituents left to rot. Anarchists will feed off their decaying carcasses. It will be the perfect irony. An iron-like display. A vulgar display of power."
[ 16.06.2006, 09:01: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: [i]speed bumps!
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
quote:Originally posted by Pink: This is the sort of driving that encourages undertaking.
kisses
what, walking down the motorway in front of your car looking sombre and carrying a big black top hat?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
my sister was on this morning this morning arguing with carole malone about cycling! did anyone see it? i would like to know the answer to these questions:
1. did my sister look elfin and pretty?
2. did her hair look nice?
3. did she poke malone in the eye either with her finger or, mataphorically, with the force and passion of her rhetoric?
4. was my sister a credit both to her gentical family and to The International Family of Cyclists?
[ 16.06.2006, 09:15: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
That's a rubbish acronym. They should call themselves the Cycling Nations Unity Team.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Oh, that's a pity, I'd've liked to have seen that. Maybe telling us before the programme was on would've got a better response?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
oh pshaw, noone ever reads my posts nowadays dang!
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
So your friend has a boyfriend AND got to meet Orlando Bloom? Fucking hell I hate the world. Everything on Peep Show is so true: "there's only so much happiness in the world and you're (the rest of the world) is hoarding it."
I was lured out the other night with the promise there would be TWO "fit, single" men there, one of whom liked horseracing. Lies!
It's getting hot again. I don't think I should get out of bed when it's too hot.
Oh, back on topic: I saw someone in car, once, driving too fast/slow/near me. Terrible it was.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Yeah, I know. Also my friend is 6ft and blonde. If only she wasn't so nice I would hate her!
On topic: My Dad was a famous racing driver. He drives fast but he's the only person in the world I feel safe driving in a car with and even he scares me at times. Down with driving!
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: My Dad was a famous racing driver.
Is this him? Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: On topic: My Dad was a famous racing driver.
Oooh! Who was/is he? Go on, tell me. It is Friday after all. Just give me a clue.
ETA: It's worth an ice cold Gaymers to you.
[ 16.06.2006, 09:53: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
hint: her surname is Payne... Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Nice carp. Looks like a lower double to me.
ETA: Actually, looking at it again, I'd have to say it would weigh around the 8/9lb mark.
[ 16.06.2006, 10:43: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Hah hah, in my attempt to find 'I thought your dad was the great god cthulu' pics, i found a Hello Kitty Cthulu. Rad:
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Strangely enough, that's the second time I've seen that hello kitty graphic today. Which might go some way toward illustrating what a strange day it's been so far, and it's not even lunchtime yet.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Everyone's gone home Froop.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Haven't they.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
No.
I have, however, just been head-hunted for another job! Buses, etc. Don't think I want it, too PR-y, but it's lovely to be asked. I would have been an 'assistant director'!
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
crikey herbs. soon you will rule the world!
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Congrats! Must be flattering to get the offer.
On a related side note: is anyone else here on LinkedIn? Who might want to join my network? To help me get a better job? Hmm?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: my sister was on this morning this morning arguing with carole malone about cycling! did anyone see it? i would like to know the answer to these questions:
1. did my sister look elfin and pretty?
2. did her hair look nice?
3. did she poke malone in the eye either with her finger or, mataphorically, with the force and passion of her rhetoric?
4. was my sister a credit both to her gentical family and to The International Family of Cyclists?
Hey, DM, I've read a couple of cycling forum threads about this programme. Although they don't seem to mention nice hair or elfin prettiness, there has been praise for the "very knowledgeable pro-cylist campaigner".
Unfortunately, most of the threads are simply an endless rant against the anti-cycling campaigner.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:Originally posted by ben: With this cock-head attitude, you are probably increasing the sum total of danger on the road.
You should probably keep your retarded, ill-founded allegations to yourself, ben. Unless you can provide hard evidence to justify your comment. You fucking cocksucker*.
quote: More boringly, you're definitely increasing the sum total of misery and bad manners on the road.
Definitely?? Who the fuck do you think you are? Our Almighty Masterful Overlord who knows all and sees all? You have no idea how I drive on a daily basis. I am actually a very considerate driver, you know - giving way, smiling at old people, beeping my horn and shaking my fists at local scallywags. I am a credit to an otherwise vicious, over-competitive, knucklehead-dominated transport system. Scrotum eyes**.
quote:If a female poster posted the above, I guarantee that three quarters of the people reading it would think 'stupid bitch'.
See comment re: Our Almighty Masterful Overlord. Why reverse the scenario sexually? What are you trying to achieve by doing so? The scenario would be the same regardless of gender. In addition, are you implying that three quarters of the people who have read this thread already will have opted to take a different stance if I was female? That's a strange one. That is bordering on prehistoric and definitely presumptious to the extreme. Why do you feel that you decide what other people might think. It's a shabby thought process. Arguably, tattered.
quote:If you're going to be behind the wheel
There are no "ifs" about it. I am. You comment as though you somehow possess the ability to transform other people's actions and thoughts. Have you considered a career in politics? I hear that the BNP are recruiting new councillors. If you're not already involved in a political position, it may be a viable route.
quote: the most lethal weapon there is,
Most lethal fucking weapon? [obvious]There are far more lethal, destructive weapons in this country, however if a motor vehicle is your idea of the most lethal, I suspect that you are one of the fortunate few who do not witness life as it truly is.[/obvious]
quote:cease thinking that the entire world revolves around you and your feelings.
Apologies. I was unaware that this forum was - actually - the entire world. If that isn't what you meant, then please refer back to my comments re: your presumptions on my thoughts and intentions. Which are based on a solid foundation of steaming dog shit and backed up with no evidence whatsoever, other than a post regarding a rather irritating journey on the way to work.
quote:I suggest you fucking grow up
I suggest you never try saying that to my face if we were ever to meet at some point later in life. Having said that, it would be barely worth wasting any physical effort on somebody who's idea of an offensive gesture is to say, "fucking grow up", but it would 'probably' be fucking fun anyway and, owing to the fact that I'm nothing more than a fucking 'cock-head***', it would do be doing my perceived character no injustice whatsoever anyway.
Now go home and get your fucking shine-box.
*Obligatory, ill-founded allegation. **2nd obligatory, ill-founded allegation. ***Last heard 23 years ago in a nursery, up North.
Your use of World Wide Web ultimate flaming techniques (for Windows 98) leaves me in a state of quivering awe and nostalgia. I never thought I'd ever again encounter the old 'you don't even know me' gambit in a non-old-people's-home context, so thanks for making me - for a brief moment - feel young once more.
Of course, the better part (arf!) of your post can be dismissed with a condescending smile, but I feel compelled to respond to this yelp:
quote:Most lethal fucking weapon? [obvious]There are far more lethal, destructive weapons in this country, however if a motor vehicle is your idea of the most lethal, I suspect that you are one of the fortunate few who do not witness life as it truly is.[/obvious]
About 3,500 road deaths occur annually in the UK - I realise that the concept of 'most lethal' might be a slippery one for you to grasp, but can you name any other device that is implicated in more deaths than this. Knives and guns don't come anywhere near in terms of numbers killed.
I don't know, maybe you can provide a shattering protrait of 'life as it really is' which will totally rock my world and make a nonsense of my perceptions.
[ 19.06.2006, 06:55: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Hooray! Come on zygote, don't be feeble.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
That's quite a high figure actually. A whopping 1.5k more than people who die of skin cancer every year. *
[ 19.06.2006, 07:15: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
What's green, has six legs and if it fell on you out of a tree it would kill you?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
zygote driving a snooker table?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
To get ben's shine box?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: I don't know, maybe you can provide a shattering protrait of 'life
I must confess to not fully understanding the word 'protrait', however when you referred to cars being the "most lethal weapon there is", I immediately thought of class A drug usage (namely heroin), which results in a far greater figure than 3500 and ultimately increases dramatically the overall UK crime rate. The knock-on effect of this is obvious.
However, simply quoting the current UK car crash-related death figure has nothing whatsoever to do with my initial post, therefore I cannot see the relevance this fact poses. I repeat: I have yet to cause/have suffered a car-related accident in my life.
Your reply comes as a grave disappointment to be perfectly honest. All you do is continue your **** -headedness and offer nil in the form of a fresh, honest response. Your pre-supposed superiority is lazy, nauseating and overwhelmingly short-sighted.
[ 19.06.2006, 07:46: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I think it's the term 'weapon' which is causing confusion. Generally weapons are instruments used to kill or injure third parties. Cars do this, though mostly by accident. I'm not aware of many cases of third parties being killed by being stabbed in the arm with a loaded syringe.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Hey, DM, I've read a couple of cycling forum threads about this programme. Although they don't seem to mention nice hair or elfin prettiness, there has been praise for the "very knowledgeable pro-cylist campaigner".
woot! my sister is teh rule. i will pass that information on, thankyou.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
zygote seems quite explosive under pressure.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: I think it's the term 'weapon' which is causing confusion. Generally weapons are instruments used to kill or injure third parties. Cars do this, though mostly by accident. I'm not aware of many cases of third parties being killed by being stabbed in the arm with a loaded syringe.
Well let's be honest, you can't really consider cars or heroin to be weapons can you? How about the third party being someone who shares an infected syringe? As neither of them are weapons in any traditional sense of the word, it's fair to say you can quote any number of figures, ranging from people who trip over and smash their nose in the high street, or particularly, if you are a snotty little bastard, harness the power of the sun.
Ok, I'll give that, in the situation someone might run someone over in a car to kill them or you know inject someones eyeball with poison, but this simply doesn't count.
[ 19.06.2006, 08:05: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I have yet to cause/have suffered a car-related accident in my life.
I was a driver for 18 years before I had my first ever prang. Very low speed, no injuries, split-second error on my part. Always thought I was Mr. Immaculate-Driver up till that point. Now I know I'm just as likely to cause a high-speed multiple pile-up as the next idiot. Just takes that split-second.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Eight years isn't really that long as a proportion of driving life of, what, 50?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: I think it's the term 'weapon' which is causing confusion. Generally weapons are instruments used to kill or injure third parties. Cars do this, though mostly by accident. I'm not aware of many cases of third parties being killed by being stabbed in the arm with a loaded syringe.
·The Sun Sentinel reported on February 11, 2001, that a six-year-old from Glade View, Florida, stabbed five children with a discarded syringe.
·The New York Times reported on February 2, 2001, that a nine-year-old from the Bronx stabbed four children with a discarded needle.
·The Frankson and Hastings Independent, an Australian newspaper, reported on February 13, 2001, that a syringe left at a bus station stuck a four-year old boy. Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
What's wrong with these kids?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I agree that there aren't many cases, however there are also not many deliberate car-related murders.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: The Sun Sentinel reported on February 11, 2001, that a six-year-old from Glade View, Florida, stabbed five children with a discarded syringe.
·The New York Times reported on February 2, 2001, that a nine-year-old from the Bronx stabbed four children with a discarded needle.
·The Frankson and Hastings Independent, an Australian newspaper, reported on February 13, 2001, that a syringe left at a bus station stuck a four-year old boy.
I make that ten deaths. Only another 3,490 to find...
ETA: Actually it doesn't even say they died. Lame...
[ 19.06.2006, 08:20: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Only another 3,490 to find...
3490? So the previously-quoted 3500 figure was comprised entirely of deliberate 'car murders'?
Doubtful.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Only another 3,490 to find...
3490? So the previously-quoted 3500 figure was comprised entirely of deliberate 'car murders'?
Yes - these were all deaths from deliberate car murders, provoked by either tailgating or annoying cyclists.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I bet smoking kills more people than cars.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Let's see some googled results Louche.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Oooh... It is estimated that between 1950 and 2000 six million Britons, 60 million people worldwide, would have died from tobacco-related diseases.
See, that's better than your paltry 3,500 or whatever, innit. Cigarettes are weapons too.
[ 19.06.2006, 09:11: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
So that's:
Fags Cars Sunshine Heroin
Would anyone else like to add their alternative weapons to the list?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:Originally posted by ben: I don't know, maybe you can provide a shattering protrait of 'life
I must confess to not fully understanding the word 'protrait',
Pulling people up for obvious typos is pretty weak - especially when yourself labouring under the misapprehension that "presumptious" is a real word.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: however when you referred to cars being the "most lethal weapon there is", I immediately thought of class A drug usage (namely heroin), which results in a far greater figure than 3500 and ultimately increases dramatically the overall UK crime rate. The knock-on effect of this is obvious.
As others have pointed out, the only person who is likely to suffer from you being reckless with a syringe full of heroin is you - the chances of you killing others through reckless, dangerous or careless driving - ie. the kind of thing you described in your original post - is infinitely higher.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I repeat: I have yet to cause/have suffered a car-related accident in my life.
Good for you. I'd been driving more than ten years before my first serious prang. May fortune continue to smile on you.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Your reply comes as a grave disappointment to be perfectly honest. All you do is continue your **** -headedness and offer nil in the form of a fresh, honest response. Your pre-supposed superiority is lazy, nauseating and overwhelmingly short-sighted.
You'll be disappointed to hear that your response didn't disappoint me in the slightest, such were my expectations of you. You seem to consider further finessing of an argument, with referenced figures in support, as a waste of time - which is why you fail to do it yourself and why you completely disregard where I've done it. That being so, I'm struggling to see where freshness or honesty come into your own posts.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: So that's:
Fags Cars Sunshine Heroin
Would anyone else like to add their alternative weapons to the list?
Dancefloors that aren't flush with the rest of the space around them.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: So that's:
Fags Cars Sunshine Heroin
Would anyone else like to add their alternative weapons to the list?
Batleths
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: As for your "much higher" figure on Class A drugs, a cursory Google reveals that you're talking out of your arse.
Table 1. Drug-related deaths in England and Wales 1997 to 2002
If we also include alcohol and tobacco deaths (which are obviously drugs too) then your "most lethal weapon there is" argument collapses on its shattered, well-lubricated arse, as no matter how hard you look at it, drugs are a far more notorious killer than cars.
I would, therefore, be intruiged to hear your views on this concrete fact.
ETA: Data copied from the link you provided, ben.
[ 19.06.2006, 09:50: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm going to argue about just how dangerous a battyleth is though as this page makes out that Batleths aren't all that tough. For instance
quote:The First Thing to remember when starting Batleth competition is to HAVE FUN!...
All the combat must be in a FUN sense you must fight and play for the enjoyment. Everything that Yoda taught you about giving in to the Dark Side really fits here. Never give in to anger or hate. It ruins the FUN for the others.
Physical Contact: The fighting takes place reminiscent of Dune whereby you struggle hard to defeat the opponent's weapon, but slowly make the body contact.
This sounds a bit more like it:
quote: The object is to have FUN, but there will be pain and the occasional injury.
First Blood and most bloods are from the scratches that hands receive.
If we also include alcohol and tobacco deaths (which are obviously drugs too) then your "most lethal weapon there is" argument collapses on its shattered, well-lubricated arse, as no matter how hard you look at it, drugs are a far more notorious killer than cars.
I would, therefore, be intruiged to hear your views on this concrete fact.
ETA: Data copied from the link you provided, ben.
Alcohol and tobacco are not class A drugs. Neither can they conceivably regarded as "weapons".
If you are reckless with a cigarette, you get either unsightly burns down the front of your hoody or lung cancer. If you are reckless behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, you could conceivably wipe out an entire family in a matter of moments.
Your opening post described how you turned a routine encounter on a busy motorway into a potentially very dangerous 'battle of wits' - if you can't grasp how that might be a matter of concern to other people on the road, you're a bigger danger (certainly a bigger wankstain) than even that opening post indicates.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: no matter how hard you look at it, drugs are a far more notorious killer than cars.
More notorious, sure. That's the big problem really. I mean drug taking is, usually, done for thrills. Drugs are taken with a known risk. Drop some bad acid and you could fuck your head up forever; take too much heroin and you drop dead; drink too much booze and you could choke to death on your own puke; smoke 40 a day for 30 years and your lungs will pack up etc etc. Many drugs are heavily regulated/illegal.
Driving a car? Who even thinks of it as a risk? We will drive 50 miles down a busy motorway at 80mph in order to get to a theme park where we can scream our heads off on a roller coaster going at thrilling speeds of about 30mph.
Cars are suicidal, but we not only cheerfully accept the risks but don't even think twice about it. Even worse, when we do think about it for a minute, like on this thread, we actually think we'll be fine because we ourselves are very careful and sensible drivers. That's putting a hell of a lot of blind trust in everyone else on the road. Especially the ones that are on drugs.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Think Ghislaine, only gayer. Middle-aged pork-beasts and callow Trenchcoat Mafia rejects duking it out with big foam scythes in a flurry of wincing and grazed knuckles.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
"choke to death on your own puke" is a strange phrase, isn't it. I mean, it's not like you're going to choke on someone else's. Probably.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: We will drive 50 miles down a busy motorway at 80mph in order to get to a theme park where we can scream our heads off on a roller coaster going at thrilling speeds of about 30mph.
Do I need to remind you that the limit is 70mph Dang?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: "choke to death on your own puke" is a strange phrase, isn't it. I mean, it's not like you're going to choke on someone else's. Probably.
Well, I think they just assume it's yours. You can't dust for vomit, apparently. I heard that on a documentary somewhere.
Posted by Pink (Member # 459) on :
Talking of cars, is great to so that they have arrested this moron.
kisses
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben-t bastard: Alcohol and tobacco are not class A drugs.
If you had bothered to read this thread properly, you will see that I have already commented on the "drug" argument, so I'm not going to bother re-iterating previous comments solely for your benefit, ben. In addition, I believe that cigarettes and alcohol are considered to be weapons by the companies who exploit their addictive properties on a global scale. Factus maximus.
quote:Originally posted by sweetcorn fisherman: If you are reckless behind the wheel of a motor vehicle, you could conceivably wipe out an entire family in a matter of moments.
quote:Originally posted by Anal **** : Your opening post described how you turned a routine encounter on a busy motorway into a potentially very dangerous 'battle of wits'
By my reckoning, my post was an expression of gross dissatisfaction at a tailgater that I encountered on my drive to work. How on earth you can compare tapping my brakes in an effort to 'ward off' an irritating driver, to wiping out an entire family is beyond me. It is pretty fucking sick.
quote:Originally posted by Holier Than Thou Do-Gooder Motherfucker: wankstain
Your originality knows no bounds. Next you'll be calling me 'bum face' or something.
ben: Are you telling me that you've never cranked up You Could Be Mine, by Guns 'N Roses and allowed your rebellious foot to ease your speed to above 70 miles per hour? Ever?
Probably not, come to think of it. It must just be cock-headed wankstains who do naughty things like that. Tsk, tsk...
[ 19.06.2006, 10:41: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:A motorist who said he drove for 60 miles at speeds of up to 130mph after the accelerator on his BMW car jammed has been arrested.
Well that's clearly rubbish
quote:www.parkers.co.uk Engine Size: 1995 cc Cylinders: 4 0-60 mph: 10.9 s Power Output: 115 bhp Valves: 16 Torque: 280 Nm Torque: 207 lb/ft Top Speed: 124 mph
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Do I need to remind you that the limit is 70mph Dang?
I was talking about motorways. You're thinking of built-up areas.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I think I've worked it out. Zygote is Amy.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Hmpf!
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I think I've worked it out. Zygote is Amy.
*loosens bra strap*
"Well, hi there Doctor! Where would you like me?"
*Pulls g-string from between soft, tender arse cheeks*
[ 19.06.2006, 10:59: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Surely he's snorton?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Amy never flirted with me Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Surely he's snorton?
I think it's obvious he isn't.
This whole sort of "oh it's bound to be XXX he's arguing with ben" kind of exasperates me. It's only real purpose is that, if by fluke (and it's always fluke because the guesses are so often wide of the mark it reveals that most posters have no real ability in identifying others' style) someone happens to get it right, they can be all "Ha! I knew it!" If they're wrong fuck it, no-one will remember.
But surely Snorton would never flirt with Benway by referring to taking his thong from his arse cheeks. That's far to gay for a homophobic nazi to post, even in disguise. If you must play this guessing game at least try and apply some thought to it.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: In addition, I believe that cigarettes and alcohol are considered to be weapons by the companies who exploit their addictive properties on a global scale. Factus maximus.
Hmmm. I suppose this is what a driver asleep at the wheel looks like.
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: By my reckoning, my post was an expression of gross dissatisfaction at a tailgater that I encountered on my drive to work. How on earth you can compare tapping my brakes in an effort to 'ward off' an irritating driver, to wiping out an entire family is beyond me. It is pretty fucking sick.
This is fairly grim. It's almost as if trolling was the same as porn acting - and after a certain point the star of the show just can't get wood any more, so they grunt and roar twice as loud and whang their softening meat into the face of whoever's in front of them, as though that will stop anyone noticing that they've gone flaccid.
It's happened to all of us, I guess, at some point, so you shouldn't let it bother you too much.
I don't think it's Snorton but whoever it is isn't really too much better.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Omikin?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Fifichan?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Nomad.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Thorn.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
It could be Kovacs, actually. That guy always loved fucking with people's heads!
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
ben is the closest so far, i reckon.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Steelgate Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Thorn, you wang. I didn't guess 'snorton' just because he was arguing with ben. It was because his argument with everyone was ill-thought-out and his reactions over the top and his obtuse-ness taken to new heights, that by saying it was snorton I was insulting snorton.
Do you see? Pretty sophisticated, I thought.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Phill?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
you guys just arent thinking clearly enough. put your minds to it and it will all become crystal clear.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Minge?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: you guys just arent thinking clearly enough. put your minds to it and it will all become crystal clear.
If you know who it is can you just fucking say? Nobody likes it when people gloat over working out who the noob is.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Hmmm. I suppose this is what a driver asleep at the wheel looks like.
What on earth are you talking about now?
quote:This is fairly grim. It's almost as if trolling was the same as porn acting - and after a certain point the star of the show just can't get wood any more, so they grunt and roar twice as loud and whang their softening meat into the face of whoever's in front of them, as though that will stop anyone noticing that they've gone flaccid.
You must watch some pretty shite porn, ben. That kind of thing doesn't happen in any of mine. None of mine is of the homosexual variety, however, so forgive me for thinking that the above doesn't actually occur.
quote:star of the show
Star of the show? Are you fucked up in the head? My initial post was to share a frustrating incident on the motorway. You then step in and level personal abuse towards me and expect me to simply read your drivel and post nothing in response. Now: you're resorting to changing the subject matter altogether and talking about trolls with floppy cocks or something.
Were you abused as a child dear ben? If so, I sympathise deeply.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: *Pulls g-string from between soft, tender arse cheeks*
This sounds like London.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
im not gloating. i am usually remarkably stupid about this sort of thing. i am being self- congratulatory.
its lucid.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Is it?
Are you sure?
Can I have my Aphex Twin CD back then please?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Can I have my Aphex Twin CD back then please?
lol!
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
is it? Lolol. Maybe now, the truth about that night will come out.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
And is it true about the, you know, swing?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I thought it was a 'special chair'.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
It's not Lucid.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I thought it was a 'special chair'.
One night in Mongcock?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
OH NO! what kind of flapjack am i. maybe its not. i hate you louche, i was feeling so proud of myself. now i feel empty inside.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: It's not Lucid.
M..m...memes?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Well, I am basing this simply on my own arrogant presumption that I am right, but I'm 100% convinced it isn't Lucid. It ain't Kovacs, either, as I reckon Kovacs would consider researching the M67 and pretending to be from Manchester too much like hard work.
I have too much time on my hands.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
this is a bit like what it must feel like to be on countdown, and to be sitting there thinking '469! how clever am i! i am tthe winner! i am Teh Multiplior' while the clocks going 'bing budingbadingbingbadingbading' and then when it comes down to it youre showing carol your workings and she grinds to a halt and says 'youve used a number twice there havent you?'.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: OH NO! what kind of flapjack am i. maybe its not. i hate you louche, i was feeling so proud of myself. now i feel empty inside.
I was going to start chanting 'you're not singing any more!' and then thought of you all sort of sad that you were really proud and reduced to guesshame. I tried to stuff this further for another comedy bout of wahwahwah and an image of you, glass eyed, tears welling as if you would cry your eyes out of the sockets *pop a pop pop* and I felt shit. Don't ever do this again!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Does it really matter who it is? Whoever it is clearly has their own reasons for wanting to remain anonymous, and for the purposes of discussion, it’s not really important who it is if you are to simply take what they’re saying at face value. One would assume that whoever it is, will have dropped anything that might have given away their identity, such as little catchphrases, and may even be doing other things to hide their identity. Speculation is counter productive.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: It ain't Kovacs, either, as I reckon Kovacs would consider researching the M67 and pretending to be from Manchester too much like hard work.
I don't know - he might have encountered that info serendipitously and chucked it in to cover his scent, as it were. He's the only person I can think of who would deliberately risk being so scrupulously unfunny, just to create a convicing voice.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Ringo and Ben have spoiled the fun.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Not for the first time, and certainly not the last.
Sorry everyone, carry on with the fun.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I can't really get back into it now.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
yeah, lets talk about something else. doctor who? wasnt it great. i especially liked the reference to chaka demus n pliers.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Bamba
evidence: anger, rage, fury, swearing, lapses into Scottish
quote:Shite
ETA: 2999!!!
[ 20.06.2006, 06:43: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by Niffer (Member # 266) on :
is it turtle?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: Bamba
evidence: anger, rage, fury, swearing, lapses into Scottish
Yes, but let's consider all the available evidence:
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: *Pulls g-string from between soft, tender arse cheeks*
So I suppose what we need here is someone who can assess whether the cheeks in question are Bamba's. Soft, tender, and attached to a ball of fury.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: yeah, lets talk about something else. doctor who? wasnt it great. i especially liked the reference to chaka demus n pliers.
Go for it Miss Blue Sky Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Niffer: is it turtle?
No.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Zygote's gone very quiet. Has he been unmasked? Shame. I was rather enjoying the argument.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Zygote's gone very quiet. Has he been unmasked? Shame. I was rather enjoying the argument.
I've not been 'unmasked'. The argument has subsided. Neither party rose victorious. ben ignored my final comment and instead opted to discuss who the 'troll' really was. So now the only matter of discussion is "who Zygote previously posted as." Which, I'm sure you'll agree is an extremely mundane subject matter.
This is the calm after the storm. The waves crashing gently into the rocks, emitting a beautiful, transcendent backdrop to an otherwise unobtrusive, sunny Tuesday. The world keeps turning.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Oh, Flowerpot. Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Encountered another tailgater this morning. This time some 'bling, bling' Asian geek in a diabolically colour-schemed Honda Civic. My foot hovered above the brake pedal as he inevitably homed in on my rear end, however this time I simply did nothing. I pretended that he wasn't even there. I breathed deeply and maintained an orderly manner. Breathing in swiftly through my nostrils, then slowly out through my mouth.
Moments later, I reached my destination. I feel dirty. I feel like the Asian chap has been tearing chunks out of my anus, cackling insanely to "Here Comes the Hotstepper", whilst employing extreme strangulation techniques in order to further heighten his sadomasochistic needs. Before ejaculating on my back.
I need to shower. I am feeling vengeful, yet somewhat weakened by the ordeal.
[ 21.06.2006, 04:38: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
As much as I hate to agree with Ben, the above post does make you sound like one hell of a prick.
Perhaps you should think about going on a defensive driving course, because I genuinely think your road rage might become dangerous if you don't get a handle on it soon.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I had a bout of WalkRage yesterday, and am considering therapy. Walking through a tube station a girl overtook me in a very bag-banging kind of way, then walked slowly in front of me. I walked as close behind her as I could, then overtook her on the escalator. Which was big and clever, I think you'll agree.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
How about DeskRage? I just slammed my phone down so hard that two plastic bits broke off.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Perhaps you should think about going on a defensive driving course, because I genuinely think your road rage might become dangerous if you don't get a handle on it soon.
Ahem, I didn't demonstrate any act(s) of road rage this morning. As I said, I simply ignored the ogre. Before anyone says, "why didn't you move across into the middle lane" - I couldn't. Therefore, I concentrated fully on the drive ahead and blotted out the impending danger the prick behind was presenting.
ETA: The rageful thoughts that followed were once I'd vacated my car, thus cannot be attributed to any 'road rage'.
[ 21.06.2006, 04:59: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: How about DeskRage? I just slammed my phone down so hard that two plastic bits broke off.
Another reason not to get a boob job.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: How about DeskRage? I just slammed my phone down so hard that two plastic bits broke off.
deskrage and phonerage are the best sorts i've thrown phones thru windows, against walls, across rooms etc. it felt great. uhmm until i began to feel guilty. not that i have a temper or anything.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I spend most of my time on the underground gently boiling with undisclosed rage at people who walk about gawping at things like they've just come fresh from a lobotomy.
Last week this elderly chinese couple stood next to each other on the escalators, so that I couldn't walk down. I stood right behind the chinese woman and whispered 'if you don't move your bony **** out of my way I'm going to kick you all the way onto the fucking tracks you fucking chinese whore'. Obviously, being chinese, she couldn't understand me, so I had to shove her out the way. It way funny. She was holding her husband's hand, and she was so light that she kind swung out my way like a saloon door, but then dragged her bird-like hubby down with her. They both tumbled to the bottom of the steps with their luggage, and lay there, being scraped by the stairs at the bottom lip of the escalator. I got a couple of years worth of rage out there.
[ 21.06.2006, 05:03: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Ahem, I didn't demonstrate any act(s) of road rage this morning. As I said, I simply ignored the ogre. Before anyone says, "why didn't you move across into the middle lane" - I couldn't. Therefore, I concentrated fully on the drive ahead and blotted out the impending danger the prick behind was presenting.
ETA: The rageful thoughts that followed were once I'd vacated my car, thus cannot be attributed to any 'road rage'.
You showed some restraint which is admirable I suppose, but I don’t think you can reasonably say you actually ignored the chap behind you, because it’s clearly wound you up something chronic. Obviously you do suffer from acute road rage and while you managed to keep it under control this time, how long is it until you do something stupid and end up doing something regrettable?
Seriously, there are ways of approaching the situation which will help ease the stress of driving. You clearly have a bit of a problem and I think you should address it before it gets out of hand.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: You clearly have a bit of a problem and I think you should address it before it gets out of hand.
I'd prefer to commute by train, to be honest. I used to love chilling out, reading a book, listening to some decent music and generally enjoying a completely stress-free start to a usually hectic day at work. Unfortunately this isn't an option for where I work currently, so I have to endure tiring stretches of busy motorway driving. It's not long before such a routine and experiencing the same selfish attitudes day-in, day-out, leads to one becoming extremely fed up and pessimistic about the whole process. However, upon reflection, I have become those drivers that I initially fucking hated.
I do agree that I probably ought to consider other methods of stifling these feelings of rage. A passenger punch bag could be a winner. Or perhaps a nice, early morning toke on a Turkish peace pipe could prove to be a fruitful option. Think I've run out of apricot tobacco cubes though.
[ 21.06.2006, 05:45: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
Just saying, I am not Zygote, and Zygote isn't me.
I have argued about motorway speed limits before, and have on occasion tailgated the witless moron who might be doing sixty on the outside lane of an empty motorway. I do get a little bit annoyed when I an on the inside lane and find myself moving across the entire width of the motorway and back again to overtake a middle lane crawler - it is doubly irritating when you have some dingbat tootling along on the third lane on one of the four-lane sections of the M25, for instance.
FWIW I truly believe that people need to be given lessons and an official examination on motorway driving rather than just being thrown out there after they pass their test.
However.
This does not mean that you act like an arsehole. If someone tailgates you, there is only one solution: move inside and let the vehicle pass. (That said, you should have by now moved back inside anyway - I cannot fail to notice the lack of motorway discipline here as opposed to that on the continent). If there is no available gap, wait until there is one - if the guy keeps his nose to your tail, he is a bigger arsehole than you thought he was initially. One should never do anything as silly as tap on the brake - this sort of action just makes the brake-tapper a bigger arsehole than the tailgater, and carries a high risk of causing an accident.
I say this as a member of the IAM - and someone who in almost twenty years on the road has only had one prang - at 5mph when some prat decided to suddenly brake to turn right on a congested road. Conversely I am also a member of the ABD - a rather Clarksonesque pressure group. I think everyone should take the advanced driving test, btw.
I am really, really squirming right now, but have to say that I agree with Ben. Zygote is a cock-head.
ETA I said 'arsehole' three times in one paragraph. Arse.
[ 23.06.2006, 10:02: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: If someone tailgates you, there is only one solution: move inside and let the vehicle pass.
I disagree. If I'm doing the speed limit, and someone is tailgating me, I'm certainly not going to move over so he can continue to break the law with his reckless speeding. When this happens, the driver behind me receives a ralph special, at which time I jam my brakes hard for about three seconds in the hope that he hits me ever so slightly. Then I sue him and his insurance company for the whiplash I undoubtedly received due to his disregard for the law. Then it's life on easy street for me and mine.
Posted by Pink (Member # 459) on :
Surely the deliberate and malicious causation of an accident is about as reckless as one can get?
kisses
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
But aren't motorway conventions different in the states - ie, you can drive in whichever lane you like, whereas here you are supposed to use the outside lane only for overtaking, and thus shouldn't be sat in it anyway if your speed is that of the middle lane?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Just saying, I am not Zygote, and Zygote isn't me.
Thank fuck. I was clutching for the Mach 3 blades for a minute.
quote:If someone tailgates you, there is only one solution: move inside and let the vehicle pass.
And what, pray, does one do when there are vehicles travelling in the middle lane, mein fuhrer?
quote:I am really, really squirming right now, but have to say that I agree with Ben. Zygote is a cock-head.
Rather a "cock-head" than a Nazi. Any fucking day.
Oh: I saw a picture of you (Rick, is it?) on an earlier thread in Sex and Relationships. What the fuck is going on with your hair? Is that Bertollini olive oil you use in your hair or was I just seeing things? Then again, suppose it may have been the huge cock on my head dangling in front of my eyes, blurring my vision.
No. Just checked again. It was really your hair.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
lol
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Indeed.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: But aren't motorway conventions different in the states - ie, you can drive in whichever lane you like, whereas here you are supposed to use the outside lane only for overtaking, and thus shouldn't be sat in it anyway if your speed is that of the middle lane?
Ah, a case where practice and law are not even closely related. According to the law, you are expected to move left to pass, and move right to travel, but most people don't adhere to that rule. Particularly not in the northeast, where people will commonly enter the highway and cross several lanes of traffic in one motion only to travel in the far left lane with a phone pressed to their ear.
It's something of a culture shock when I have the occasion to drive in another area of the country, and people actually do move over to let faster traffic pass, rather than automatically blocking them, whether the blocking comes from sheer spite or from oblivious incompetence.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Gracious. I drove around Arizona, Nevada and California for two weeks, the whole time thinking you could drive in whatever lane you liked. Pants were soiled, especially in LA.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: Particularly not in the northeast, where people will commonly enter the highway and cross several lanes of traffic in one motion only to travel in the far left lane with a phone pressed to their ear.
Have you been stalking me? Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I disagree. If I'm doing the speed limit, and someone is tailgating me, I'm certainly not going to move over so he can continue to break the law with his reckless speeding.
When this happens, the driver behind me receives a ralph special, at which time I jam my brakes hard for about three seconds in the hope that he hits me ever so slightly. Then I sue him and his insurance company for the whiplash I undoubtedly received due to his disregard for the law. Then it's life on easy street for me and mine.
The point is that while the tailgater may not be necessarily reckless, by hitting the brakes you would be.
And a fat lot of good your insurance claim idea would be if the tailgater was, in fact, a mentalist prepared to cave your skull in with a tyre iron.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: The point is that while the tailgater may not be necessarily reckless, by hitting the brakes you would be.
And a fat lot of good your insurance claim idea would be if the tailgater was, in fact, a mentalist prepared to cave your skull in with a tyre iron.
I understood your point. I was just kidding. *sheesh*
Funny you should mention a mentalist with a tire iron though. I was considering starting a thread about road rage, but thought the better of it as my story, though it happened decades ago, portrays the ralph of that era as a tire iron wielding madman.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: And what, pray, does one do when there are vehicles travelling in the middle lane, mein fuhrer?
You didn't read my post properly, clearly. I said that if there was no gap in the middle lane traffic flow you should just wait until one appeared. Alternatively, just switch on your left indicator - this would probably make the tailgater lay off, and you'd more than likely find someone on the inside willing to create a space for you. I have never found a problem in doing this.
quote:Rather a "cock-head" than a Nazi. Any fucking day.
Whatever you wish, but my alleged political affiliations have nothing to do with this thread, while your cockheadedness clearly does.
quote:Oh: ... [irrelevant bullshit removed]
Your point? Oh, there isn't one.
I cannot see why I am wasting my two of my five TMO monthly posts on some witless moron who cannot even read a post properly. At least Ben - and even Thorn ffs - have a certain panache when doling out the abuse. They can even make me laugh - you don't.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I understood your point. I was just kidding. *sheesh*
Fair enough. It is difficult to tell how someone is saying something on this medium, though.
quote:Funny you should mention a mentalist with a tire iron though. I was considering starting a thread about road rage, but thought the better of it as my story, though it happened decades ago, portrays the ralph of that era as a tire iron wielding madman.
I don't think I would try to take on a large American with a bushy beard who lives in a car wielding a tyre iron. No sirree.
You should tell us the story, though.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: You should tell us the story, though.
I agree. It might just stop me from stalking you.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Your point? Oh, there isn't one.
The point: how can someone with such a ridiculous head of hair and possible use of olive oil (hence my genuine question as to which brand you use) with which to style it, claim that somebody is a "fucking cock-head"? This puzzles me greatly.
quote:I cannot see why I am wasting my two of my five TMO monthly posts
I cannot see why either. We agree on something, at least.
Your post made you appear like a panting dog, frantically humping ben's leg in a desperate attempt to somehow please its Master. Pathetic. Thus, I simply cannot see what you were striving to achieve.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
Being accused of grovelling to Ben is clearly the biggest insult I have received during the six or so years I have been post on Seethru/TMO.
I commend you.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Not too long ago my mate was giving me a lift home when the fella behind started tail-gating him. Cue my mate touching his brakes a few times. Cue the fella making wanky hand gestures. Cue my mate making wiggly pinky gestures. At the next traffic lights fella gets in front and immediately slows down as the road becomes single lane again, touching his brakes a few times. Cue more wanky hand wiggly finger stuff. The road goes into two lanes again as it splits off to the left and instead of waiting a moment or two until it was two clear roads, my mate immediately speeds up and swerves to the left of the fella to get alongside him. I understand their penis size was involved by now so no doubt my mate wanted to make sure the fella got the message about how big my mate's was but he didn't get to make the gesture because the other fella promptly swerved to the left too, to block my mate's car. My mate pulled the wheel harder to the left to avoid fella's car and we mounted the pavement at speed.
My mate recovered and got us back onto the road before we got to a lamppost and I finished the rest of the journey in absolute silence, my mind replaying the pedestrians I'd seen on the pavement on the journey, wondering how in God's heaven the pavement had been empty at that particular stretch. My mate just ranted how it was all the other bloke's fault.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
drivers with testes: neither big nor clever Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
Has anyone ever driven in Maine? I found that most people there don't turn their turn signal on, until they are actually turning. It's very frustrating.
Personally I think most people drive like crazy people. A and I were driving back from Fredricksburg, Virginia...got stuck in traffic in what is known as the 'mixing bowl' (insanity). Well, I look out the passenger window (which is of course on the RIGHT side) and lo and behold there is a tractor trailer driver reading. While driving. No really.
I've also seen women putting makeup on while driving (I can see adding a little lippy while at a red light, but not while driving)
Men looking over their work clipboards. Again, while driving.
Saw a guy with a donut in one hand, coffee in the other, while chatting on his hands free.
Yeah, people are effing nuts.
Edit- I wass just driving my little (who's not so little anymore) brother home, as he was unable to, due to being inebriated, when this MASSIVE pickup started to tailgate us. And I don't just mean sort of tailgate, he was totally up our arse. I gently tapped the brakes to no avail. I decided to pull over, let him pass and then I LAID ON THE EFFING HORN. Fuckhead.
[ 27.06.2006, 00:59: Message edited by: Amy ]
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
i've driven in maine...but all i remember was endless interstate construction with lack of rest areas, then small roads and small towns. basially my main memory of maine is of being in back to back traffic having to leave the car to go wee in the woods off the side of the road. classy.
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
If ya gotta go...ya gotta go.
At least it was in the woods and not an alley in Philly, like my one friend used to do (and she wasn't a boy!)
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by Amy: ..... and not an alley in Philly
i can't say this strikes me as one of the top ten safest places to take a wee
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I've urinated in alleys all over Philadelphia without incident.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I've urinated in alleys all over Philadelphia without incident.
is that so you can find your way home?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
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