So. I go to the hospital for a routine "nuchal fold" scan. At nearly 13 weeks pregnant I'm out of the miscarriage woods, supposedly, (only 3% fail after seeing a heartbeat at 10 weeks, a statistic I'd been clinging to) and into a whole new set of numbers (1:300 risk for downs syndrome my best chance).
It's exciting. It's the first time R's seen our baby. Soon we can decide on a name. But there's no movement. There's no heartbeat. The man must be doing it wrong. He must have the measurements wrong. The nice lady leading me out of the room hasn't understood. He's made a mistake. All these people booking me in for an operation have got it all wrong too.
I still can't believe it, a few days later.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Oh Herbs. I'm so sorry.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I'm really sorry to hear that herbs.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Fucking hell. I can't imagine how upsetting that must have been. Words aren't enough obviously but for what it's worth really really sorry to hear that.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I'm so sorry. I don't think there is anything consoling to say. It's just fucking shit, a horrible bereavement, a horrible death, and there isn't really anything to do but cry and then wait for stuff to feel better. And ask about getting some therapy for free. Seriously. You might as well.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Fuck.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Can't see that there's anything to say other than that sincere thoughts are with you.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I'm so sorry, Herbs. My heart goes out to you. I wish there was something I could do or say that would make this better for you.
Thinking of you and sending you all my love.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
My heart bleeds for you, it really does.
If there's anything, anytime..
XXX
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
That is utterly terrible news Herbs - All I can say is my thoughts are with you. I just wish I could say something to make it at least a bit better, but there are no words that I can find.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
That's it, isn't it. If there was something anyone could say to make it better, I'd had have them at gunpoint, repeating it over and over.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
My thoughts are with you both herbs.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Oh herbs. I'm so, so sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how it must feel. Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
I had to break my ten-post quota for this. I really don't know what to say.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
I am really sorry herbs. I am not a regular so we don't have a history, but my sorrow for you is heartfelt.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
i don't know what to say. it's awful, herbs. you have my heartfelt sympathy. take good care of yourself x
[ 25.09.2006, 15:23: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
I'm so sorry to hear the news. I really wish there was something anyone could do, but-
rooster and I both will have you in our thoughts- this is one of those occasions where words just seem so feeble. I can't even give a hug to console, as I can't quite reach the 3000 miles required to do so. But you certainly have our sympathy- hang in there.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
So sorry herbs - our thoughts are with you.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
I haven't the faintest idea what to say in a situation like this, but suffice you say you have my deepest, heartfelt sympathy.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
I'm completely useless at this, but my deepest sympathy Herb.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
There are no words I can say, or no amount of empathy I can try to express that will ever really come close to helping you in this situation Herbs, but I feel a deep and genuine sympathy for you both. I know you’ll get through this in whatever way you can, but don’t suffer in silence when there are people who can help take away some of the pain.
Love and sympathy to you both.
Chris
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Herbs, this is such a distressing and unfair thing to happen. Like everyone else has said, words are pretty futile at the moment so it will be little consolation to say that they can do amazing things these days to avoid this happening to you again. Carry on, soldier.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
Herbs I am so sorry...
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I can only echo what others have said. Truly devastating. Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I'm sorry to lay this heavy scene on you all, but it seems such an overwhelming and life-altering happening, I can't not tell my 'friends from the internet'. And this kind of stuff is so often swept under carpets, and shouldn't be. It happens to lots of people. Though I seem to have bucked most statistics on the matter - less than 3% go wrong after a heartbeat at 10 weeks, only 1% die and stay inside undetected for OVER TWO WEEKS at this stage, only 1% of couples have recurrent miscarriage. Lies, damn lies, etc...
The only thing keeping me going is the thought that there are, indeed, tests that can be done, nice men that can give me injections next time, etc. But in the meantime there's now, and this particular baby, to be dealing with. There are loads of support boards, but most of them are full of pink twinkly atavars, talk of 'angels' etc, which even in my state I can't stomach.
R went back to work today, so I'm feeling a bit lonely. But I'll try not to go on and on.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Well you know this is a fantastic place to vent, so don't feel like you need to hold back on our account. Nobody's going to complain if you want to get it off your chest, I'm sure everyone would understand.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Don't be lonely Herbs. You have us freaks.
Here is some banality from the outside world.
I've just dropped two light bulbs in B and Q. This might, to anyone of my age, sound like I'm about to start buzzing from the some lively recreational narcotic and that I'm posting from a disused aircraft hanger full of ravers or something but, alas, no, I really did drop two light bulbs on the floor of a DIY store. They popped like miniature explosives and cast a shimmering puddle of mirrored fallout across the floor. I shouted "bollocks!", so loudly I surprised myself. It all came about because a jolly middle-aged woman dropped a pound coin which rolled away across the floor. I controlled the wheeling quid with the instep of my foot and bent down to pick it up. Turned, as it was, momentarily upside down, my box of light bulbs opened and a few seconds after I'd handed Jolly back her coin (and received a chuckling thank you in return) my two shiny doodlebugs fell to the floor. When I shouted bollocks the woman said sorry – she knew the entire debacle was the fault of her and her pound coin. There is no karma I thought to myself as the woman apologized a second time. I didn't even say "It's alright. It was an accident.", as I should have done. I simply frowned at her. Such a horrid boy. Anyway, the girl behind the counter (Mabel, unless she was wearing someone else's orange overalls) swept up the debris and let me have another box of lightbulbs, no charge. Good old Mabel.
[ 26.09.2006, 05:58: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote: some banality from the outside world.
About an hour or so ago, the girl to my left was trying to attract the attention of my boss, and I think she stumbled over deciding whether to say "Can I bother you for a moment" and "can I bug you," and it came out as "Can I bugger you for a moment?" But she said it so innocuously no-one seemed to pick up on it except me, choking back laughter in painful body-wracking sobs.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I've been watching the Jeremy Kyle Show and Trisha. Christ. Things aren't so bad after all.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Oh herbs, how utterly grim. Is there any kind of pleasent retreat you can flee to for a bit - feed ducks, walk in the countryside kind of thing?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Trisha is also pretty grim...my timing was a bit off there.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I didn't realise Jeremy Kyle was real. I thought he was a character played by someone else on the radio.
In other news, I'm making a boiled egg. I've decided to use this method I just got off the internet:
1. Place the egg in a saucepan.
2. Run cold water into the saucepan until the water is 1 inch above the egg. (Image 1)
3. Place the saucepan on a stove and cook over medium heat until the water begins to boil.
4. Reduce the heat to low.
5. Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes for soft-boiled eggs or 10 to 15 minutes for hard-boiled eggs. (Image 2)
6. Remove the egg with a spoon or ladle and let it cool slowly, or run cold water over it to cool it more quickly. (Image 3)
It's going to go wrong, isn't it? I bet there's a huge TMO debate just waiting to happen about how to make the perfect boiled egg. I'm aiming for a fairly soft boiled number. I'll get back to you to let you know the result.
[ 26.09.2006, 06:10: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
We're going away for the weekend to the Norfolk coast - bleak windy beaches for staring over the sea, but hearty food and drink in the evenings. However, all the nice places are booked up so we've ended up in a twin-bedded room with woodworking tools on the wall. Gotta laugh.
ETA: I think you'll find four minutes, with the 'from cold' method, gives the perfect soft-boiled egg.
[ 26.09.2006, 06:12: Message edited by: herbs ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
How do you know this? Did the owner say "We've only got one room left...but it's got WOODWORKING TOOLS ON THE WALL!"
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
And did you then say, "Woodworking tools? You're having a lathe, aren't you?"?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
And did you then hang your head in shame and get your coat?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I booked it in desperation, after phoning about 4,000 B&Bs, without looking it up on the interweb. When I did, there they were. Chisels, and one of those u-shaped hand-drills.
Good screw, etc.
[ 26.09.2006, 06:16: Message edited by: herbs ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: I booked it in desperation, after phoning about 4,000 B&Bs, without looking it up on the interweb. When I did, there they were. Chisels, and one of those u-shaped hand-drills.
Good screw, etc.
Are they just for show or are you allowed to make things at night. If so, you should fashion a life-sized mahogany Kilroy, with dark shards of razor shell for eyes and fangs of Norfolk cod bone. Then you could strap him to the roof of your car, standing up, for the journey home. You know, to make the weekend more fun, like.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
If it's not up to standards, you could always, like, file a complaint.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: And did you then hang your head in shame and get your coat?
You check in and there's just a pile of planks on the floor and the guy says, "You'll have to make your own bed I'm afraid."
Oh, and while we're talking about woodworking, heard this one the other day... Police in Dublin say that fifty people have been discovered apparently glued to the walls and roof of a subway tunnel. They believe that Irish Muslim extremists may have set of a No More Nails bomb.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
"'Ere you go. There's towels in the bathroom and breakfast is served between 9 and 10. Oh, and there's some wood workin' tools on the walls if you need 'em?"
"Got wood?"
"No, Miss Erbs, it's just the way I walks."
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
"I 'ope you've enjoyed your stay Miss 'Erbs but I was wonderin' if you could tell me what 'appened to my wardrobe."
"Yes, sorry about that. I sleep whittle, you see. Beastly habit."
"But where I my guests supposed to 'ang their clothes? You'll 'ave to pay forit.
"My Lord! Anyone would think I did it on porpoise!"
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
The boiled egg was a disaster, by the way. I spent too much searching the net for a wooden dolphin and forgot about it. Hard as bullets.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
"That's turtley ridiculous. You shell be herring from my solicitor."
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: They believe that Irish Muslim extremists may have set of a No More Nails bomb.
Racist.
P.S. Were they a splinter cell?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Hammerhead shark joke, anyone?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Who was it who suggested Jesus to be the face of No More Nails on a brand with celebrity thread? That made me larff that did.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
*punches self in face*
[ 26.09.2006, 07:20: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
R's sister has just had a baby girl. Gr7.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
oh herbs. i am shaking my fist at the sky right now, i really am.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
erp
[ 26.09.2006, 07:56: Message edited by: froopyscot ]
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: How do you know this? Did the owner say "We've only got one room left...but it's got WOODWORKING TOOLS ON THE WALL!"
In plane view, so to speak.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I saw that coming.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I mitre guessed you'd make that joke. Scraping the barrel eh?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
And now the washing machine's leaking. And the bathroom light doesn't work. And there's cat poo on the cushion.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
If this wasn't breaking my heart, it would be like a hamlet cigar ad circa 1989.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: If this wasn't breaking my heart, it would be like a hamlet cigar ad circa 1989.
[ 26.09.2006, 11:34: Message edited by: dang65 ]
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
If anyone remembers the Hamlet ad where the racehorse refused to leave the stalls, the last foal of that mare was this year's Derby winner. Fascinating, huh!
Herbs, I think you'd be entirely justified in just lying in bed sulking for the rest of this week. Sometimes it gets to the point where EVERYTHING in the whole world is against you- people you've never met, inanimate objects, the stupid fucking birds outside the window etc etc.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
This is good though. The Muppets doing Fever.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
George Best is probably clawing his way out of his grave as we speak.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
For buggering fuck's sake. I've just received a lovely bundle of leaflets, all about pregnancy. Congratulations on your pregnancy, it said. Here's your ante-natal appointment. From the hospital at which all the trauma happened last week.
If miscarriage is common enough to treat me like an inconvenience to be dealt with as quickly as possible while I'm there, then it's also common enough to have some system in place whereby the 'miscarriage' bit tells the next door 'ante-natal' bit not to send out pictures of happy pregnant women to those who are neither happy nor pregnant any more.
GOD.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
piss poor planning.
I'm sorry on their behalf.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Christ alive.
I would send em back with a sharp letter demanding they sort out their database system. What they've done in this instance is upsetting, but imagine if vital results aren't being sent if cross-referenced information isn't being processed properly. Unacceptable.
Did you ever complain about that health official who had a go at you on the phone, Herbs? That made me proper angry.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I've emailed them about it, but oddly haven't heard back. And no, I never chewed the arse off the bitch who told me off for not sending back my paperwork after the last time this happened. I should have done, but I'd run out of steam.
The state of their database is no surprise. The first department had my address and GP correct, but the surgery bit that discharged me had both those bits of information 18 months out of date. Remarkable.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm finding it really hard to express words about everything that is happening in your life at the moment, herbs. I hope you know that I am reading and I am acknowledging, even if I am dumbstruck.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Tragically, I'd been really looking forward to doing a Ben-style 'strange news from a distant star' thread to announce my condition. He's very quiet isn't he. I bet he's planted another bun in Deborah's oven and is sheepish.
I bought myself some Green and Blacks Maya Gold - cos chocolate cheers chicks up, I gather - but it's just given me a horrible caffeine rush.
[ 27.09.2006, 11:45: Message edited by: herbs ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I find a double portion of pasta carbonara can be exceptionally soothing. Coma-inducing, in fact, especially with a glass or two of pink wine. And as I recall with some really bad hurts it only stops hurting when you're drunk or sleeping, so everyone's a winner... at least till conciousness creeps back in.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Indeed. Drink and sleep are proving my best friends. But once I wake up I spend about three hours in tears. Thus, to get back to work I'm going to start having to get up about 6 so I can leave the house with dignity.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Though back to work is probably the best way to go. When attempting to deal with grief, mechanical routine is your friend.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
DP
[ 28.09.2006, 04:23: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Sorry, I wasn't suggesting you have anything other than a smashingly varied and exciting job there, Herbie.
[ 28.09.2006, 04:23: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I'm going in to my exciting and varied job today, in fact, though not for the whole day. I'm hoping for some filing, rather than the long-brewing row with histrionic defensive designer that's bound to blow up. That will be nice.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Do work know your situation?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Oh yes. I'd told them I was up the duff a few weeks ago. They've been quite sweet about it.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Well it would have to be one stone cold bastard/bitch to pour out a long brewing argument today, then. Legally, you're allowed to kill people like that at a time like this.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I knew someone who worked in Japan and hated her job (teaching) so much she had to set her alarm 20 minutes earlier, to allow for the 20 minutes she spend crying in the work toilets each morning.
But anyway. Re the email complaint. I have found that emailing generic email addresses for big companies, and for a lot of hotel reservations is a waste of time. Write an old-fashioned letter- including a paper-tearing outraged flourish with your signature. It helps if you have lots of loops and swirls in your name, obviously.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Herbs - so sorry to hear about this; how utterly dreadful you must have felt. I hope you feel better soon.
[ 28.09.2006, 06:46: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
*looks at ben*
*looks at everyone else*
*looks at ben, again*
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Not if she can't EVER have kids. Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Sorry. I'm just saying. You know what I'm saying right Herbs?
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
One of my doddery old profs has just rung me to ask if it was Wednesday or Thursday today. "You're SURE it's Thursday?"
So, you know, the forgetfulness of old age might be something to look forward to.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Er, yeah. Cheers.
There are indeed a number of layers to be worked through - this particular loss, the fact that it's my third so I must be a poisonous vessel, the fact that I'm old, the fact that my younger boyfriend might get fed up and leave me for a fertile young thing, that I'll be alone in my middle age... but for now I can't face the 'childless forever' scenario, cheery April morn or no.
Ben - don't edit. It's that kind of waiting for chinks of sunlight that's keeping me going.
[ 28.09.2006, 07:02: Message edited by: herbs ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I'm sorry if my comments were misjudged; I was trying to say that things will get better, eventually, and that's something to try to hold on to.
Concentrate on the things that sustain you and ignore - or try to block out - the things that undermine you. Everything I know about you, from talking to you or reading your posts, indicates to me that you're resilient and fundamentally optimistic person: strong enough to deal with most things, given time.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
You were cheering, actually. It was London reminding me I may never have children that was a bit more tricky!
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I'm sorry. I am fucking shit.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Look! Kittens. Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Euurgh! Look at their horrible pin-teeth!Yeuch! Disgusting creatures.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Thee middle one was in Ghostbusters I think. My wife (that's an actual wife! FUCKING HELL I NEED TO GO AND LIE DOWN!) is trying to persuade me to get kittens this weekend. One is not enough, apparently. I am resisting.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
go on! then we can come and play with them! Aww. My unwife would love that!
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
If I buckle, you and Mrs Bignuts will be the first to have a go on them.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Sorry L. Know you were trying to help. Re kittens, more the merrier. And look at their lovely paws.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Hold on, stop, think about it, you could get a giant rabbit instead.
[ 28.09.2006, 10:32: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: If I buckle, you and Mrs Bignuts will be the first to have a go on them.
I'll let her know. She'll be very excited.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Made nonsense by not's edit.
[ 28.09.2006, 10:36: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
No matter how many times I see that rabbit I always think the owner is Benny Hill. Always.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Sorry Jonesy the other photo looked a little bit cruel
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Benny Hill is dead, NWOD. He left all his money to a mysterious lady in an old people's home in Felixstowe. She was so far out of it, she couldn't comprehend money. The Hill family (Notting, Cheetham, Beverly and Oneinfive) protested that all the old man's money was going to a stranger. Who was she, a lover? The Press hassled the poor, lost soul through the corridors of her old peoples home...making the end of her life A MISERY.
I don't know what happened next. Probably some head slapping.
[ 28.09.2006, 10:48: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: Sorry Jonesy the other photo looked a little bit cruel
yeah, although I see what jonesy meant by the single ear.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I hope Turtle turns up now to tell me that I know nothing about transatlantic comedy great Benny Hill (real Name Farley Rusk...but, dah, like you'd even know that), who was chasing bikin clad women in fast motion to chirpy choons before you were even born Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
I don't even think that's a real rabbit. I think it's a midget dressed up in a rabbit suit who's been caught trying to steal normal sized rabbits.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
That's definately Arthur Fowler though.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
It's clearly enslaved it's 'owner'. The human is just a transportation device, like the lower-half dalek that davros has.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Arthur fowler is dead, NWOD. He died in his allotment while burying some Christmas club money under a patio from Liverpool. Home of the Liverpool poets.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: Arthur fowler is dead, NWOD.
*solemly steps over to the record player, picks up a white sleeve record. Blows on it. Gently places it onto the player and drops the needle* > > > > > > > > >*crackle* > > > > > > > > > > >*pop* > > > > > > > > > > > Dada dur dur dudda dudda dur dur dudda dudda duh dudda luddle lud dud Dada dur dur dudda dudda dur dur dudda dudda duh dudda luddle lud dud Duddadurdurdurdurdurdur dunna durdurdurdurdurdunna durdurdur durdurdunna dud dadda dud dun
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Is that the Pearl and Dean music?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I think it's the Chain, by Fleetwood Mac.
*weak laughter*
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
It's Morse Code. Like that blinking Austrian abduction girl. It's a long time since I was in Navy Cadets, but it translates something like: ++HELPME PLEASE HEPL ME STOP MISC F KEEPIN ME PRISNER STOP BAND A CREUL CHARADE STOP BE LOVIN ME ASSWISE IN DUNGEON STOP HIM STOP HIM STOP HIM STOP++
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: I hope Turtle turns up now
What's with your Turtle obsession today? I might just have to tell her you've been looking for her.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
No don't do that.
I've always been a little obsessed with Turtle, ralph. She boils my blood like no other poster ever has, cooks up more bile in me than her posts warrant. I've never really understood it. Today's trigger was reading her outburst in the pome thread (I hadn't read it all before). Anyway, just ignore me and I'll turn reasonable again.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
No sweat dude. I had no idea. I'll not mention a thing to her.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
Herbs - lots of love. S'all been said. x
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
That's Yakkety Sax you bloody pretend music lovers! Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Herbs, sorry. Take care. All sounds so inane. I want to say oh cunting fuck that's bloody awful.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
What an uncommonly idyllic weekend. God, the bastard, decided to make amends by finding us a B&B with no woodwork tools on the wall, providing balmy sunshine when the rest of the country was being pissed on, organising absurdly scenic miles of deserted sandy beach, providing not one but two absurdly upmarket gastropubs on a Georgian square, and laying on a picture-perfect ruined abbey in heaven-style gardens reached through a little unassuming door.
He tried to spoil it by raining all over our stately 'ome trip on the way home yesterday, but as the 'ome in question had a moat, it just added to the watery loveliness. We were even seduced into joining the National Trust.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I'm devastated about the lack of woodwork tools but happy you enjoyed your weekend. Life is an emotional see-saw.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
But I didn't see any saws...
It was one of those rare holidays when getting away does actually leave your cares behind. I saw a glimpse of ben's sunlit morn...
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Im glad it was a good weekend for you.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Hey Herbs. This is probably a completely uncool thing to say (even by my standards) but the National Trust is ace! No matter where you are, there are always at least three National Trust properties you can visit and, once you're a member, you don't have to pay! Nor are beige cardigans required admission attire!
Glad you had a good weekend, love.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Decided to throw money at this problem, and went to a doctor on Harley Street (oooOOOoooh) who said that the likelihood of losing the baby the way I did was about the same as losing it full term. I had large amounts of blood taken out of my arm for tests, and an even larger amount of money taken out of my bank account. But you do get a nicer class of waiting room.
Imagine my delight to come home and find some flowers delivered - a lovely gift from my friends on the internet. How very 2.0.
Thank you all very much. They're lovely. If I wasn't a retard, I'd make a picture of them come on the internet. But sadly I am.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Just had a six-month pregnant woman come up to me in the kitchen, and say 'oof, can't wait to go on maternity leave', rub her belly, etc. I had to stare at the floor and blink a lot.
I sent a pic of the flaars to some I suspected of being in on the kind buying. Maybe one of them could make it come on the internet.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Pregnants aren't exactly renowned for being able to talk about anything other than being pregnant, are they?
I was thinking last night that you (herbs) are a bit like a combination of Ruth and Ros on Spooks.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Are they ace and cool and stuff? I never see Spooks - I'm always doing non-ace and non-cool am operatics.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
That's them! I'll move them somewhere rather more scenic tonight. I don't think they're set to their best advantage between and iron and some Dettox multi-surface cleaner.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Ruth's quiet and clever and gets the job done, and Ros is the feisty blonde who's starting to get all the good lines.
Spooks last night was ace- I want a job where I can bark into a phone, "get me the prime minister's Chief of Staff on a secure line". Second only to the job where I can bellow, "where the hell's my S.W.A.T team?"
Anyway, I like the design of your clock- with extra big numbers, and the hour circled as well- so bleary hungover eyes can find it easier to tell the time.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
See how I cunningly took the picture to re-enact those bleary eyes.
Damn! The reason for not watching Spooks is even sadder. I was watching celebrity wife swap, with molten pile of human vile John McCrirrick.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: I was watching celebrity wife swap, with molten pile of human vile John McCrirrick.
I enjoyed Edwina Curry's attempt at pulling out of the driveway with non-driver Teh Crirrick giving directions along the lines of "you're clear to the left if you go right now" and words of kind encouragement such as "Good woman!"
I wanted Booby and JJ to have filthy sex in the garden, followed by a packet of post-coital fags, but sadly that didn't happen.
[ 03.10.2006, 09:13: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
So, this time things are different. I'm on the magic pills from the magic doctor in Harley Street who's going to make everything alright. I have two scans, both of which are fine. Last week's (11 weeks) was just routine; a bit of an inconvenience actually. I'm a busy woman.
So what did he mean, it's bad news? Why wasn't Buster moving? This was the one who was going to be OK. Who meant I wasn't going to be childless forever. What have I done. Was it that glass of champagne the other week? Vigorous gardening? What the FUCK is the matter with me. And why the FUCK is the whole FUCKING world all about families and babies and the fact that your whole life is pointless without then, and why am I beginning to believe them. And what the FUCK am I going to do now.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Herbs, that is galling. I'm so sorry.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
That's just so unfair. I'm really sorry, herbs.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Really sorry to hear about that, herbs. Awful news. Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Truly saddenned to hear that- I was sure this was going to be your year.
Could the forum's breeders/potential breeders perhaps shut up a bit for the time being?
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
Sorry, herbs. Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Once again, I'm so sorry for you Herbs I can't express it in words.
My thoughts are with you.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
That's fucked up.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Insert inadequate platitude here. So sorry Herbs.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Sorry. I know it's bad and spazzy form to not really post much as too obsessed with being up duff, then posting something it's impossible to respond to. But, you know. I'm mad, me.
Feel oddly sane at the moment, but have yet to encounter a small baby or a pregnant woman, at which point it will all probably go spectacularly wrong.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
If you'd like, we can try and repress any overt parental tweeness that we come across with a stern glare and a muttered imprecation. Kind of a 'reclaim the streets' campaign, but instead aimed at nauseatingly sickeningly cloying smug chelsea types.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Yes please. If you could concentrate efforts on 4x4s with 'baby on board' stickers, that would be a start. Follow up with anyone who says 'as a mother', and anyone who complains about sleepless nights with a smug look on their face.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Sorry. I know it's bad and spazzy form to not really post much as too obsessed with being up duff, then posting something it's impossible to respond to.
Please don't feel like that. If ever you want to swing by, blow off steam and read tales about pants being crapped: it's here.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Yes, of course we're here to provide ongoing support in the form of smutty threadrot and sub-Richard&Judy life advice. Not bad form at all.
Have they offered any kind of reason this time? I have a friend who does crystal healing and all that shamanic bollocks, if you want her to do some chanting for you. As my dad (aethist of the "I can't really be bothered to understand this religion stuff" variety) said when the local vicar offered to pray for him before his serious op last year; "go ahead- I may as well keep my options open."
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
No reason as yet. The 'products of conception' (mmm, nice phrase) are being tested. The last one turned out to have Edward's Syndrome (a random chromasone-splitting prob, like Downs), which is pretty rare, so if this one's another chromasome problem it may just be that all my eggs are knackered due to being old and having been too dissolute.
Any crystals, chanting, praying, bollocks, gratefully received.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
Will get out prayer mat.
Huge love. x
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
I am so sorry you have had to go through this again - there really are no words I can find Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
thats just awful herbs. many heartfelt cyberhugs to you.
[ 30.03.2007, 09:31: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
[ 28.03.2007, 14:48: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
i don't have the right words, just - so sorry to hear that, take good care x
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
I'm really sorry herbs.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Lots of love for you Herbs, and your man. I'm sorry but I don't know what else to say.
Posted by Niffer (Member # 266) on :
um, yeah. Shit. What they said.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I believe Ben's latest spawn is due this month. As would the baby i lost last September. Think I've successfully guilted him out of any mention of that, then.
Back at work today, though can barely focus either my eyes or my brain. Zzzzz.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
So sorry for your loss, herbs.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Sorry, Herbs.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: There are loads of support boards, but most of them are full of pink twinkly atavars, talk of 'angels' etc, which even in my state I can't stomach.
I'm sorry you've been through this, herbs, and I mean that, despite not knowing you.
As for the above, no, you're right - there are few things more excruciating than people going all 'pink-and-fluffy' about bereavement.
Take care. X
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Herbs - you already know how heart broken I am for you. Still thinking of you and still here for you whenever. xx
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
So sorry Herbs. Nothing really unique to add except add to the virtual forum group hug. Certainly had hoped this discussion was one that had been put behind you, but... hang in there. I'd try to be more encouraging or consoling or whatever but I'm not sure it's possible. Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I think I'm turning into a mad. I'll be all fine and dandy, like today, then start crying at something weird, like a squirrel shouting at me. Like today.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm going for a drink after work. If anyone fancies one, to , give me a quick mail on mikee teevee at g mail dot com
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm about 45 minutes late to ask that. Jeez, I'm a loser.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I think I'm the only one here nwod. And I can't have a drink with you for countless reasons. Good luck with the new job next week. I'm on hols, so won't be back until the 16th.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'll have a quick half mickey. I'm free tonight. I'm still at work, researching the small scale management accounting simulation market. Oh yeah. And by researching, I mean, copying and pasting from terrible websites that were handcoded in 1996 by colour blind professors.
[ 05.04.2007, 12:49: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Ok, where would you like one?
Ah, tanx ralph. I'm not looking forward to being serious at work, but maybe I'll put in some evening shifts or the occasional internet cafe. I know that last one seems a bit daft, but they encourage you to leave your desk at lunchtimes. My money came through in the end. I have to be sensible with that too, which is bollocks, because I really want to buy myself a 3 inch plastic baby gravy fairy.
[ 05.04.2007, 12:53: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I don't know. Where are you?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Gloucester Road.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
I'm so sorry.
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
