I interviewed Nick Cave today! For an hour! It was great!
I spilled some water on my iPod during the interview.
The machine kept rolling. Everything seemed to be ok. But I just played it back to transcribe it. I have ten minutes of conversation and then... nothing.
I hate myself and I want to die. What stupid thing have you done lately? Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Oh man! That sucks.
Get this - last week I entered a drift racing competition with former Wu-Tang member GZA (pro: 'jizzah'). I met him on the N29 on the way back from town. I was coming back from having a pint at the Sam Smith's by Trafalgar Square, and was a bit worse for wear. He was going back to his London crash pad in Holloway Road after spending the evening at the Hilton nearby. Anyway, we got chatting, and he said that he was going to this celebrity drift racing competition, but he didn't know how to drift race. So I told him the basics (as learned from Gran Turismo) and he was so impressed that he decided that I should go with him.
So, the next day I went round his flat near the Nag's Head. We got a car down to Heathrow and then a first class flight to Tokyo. I don't remember much of the flight though because we drank all this Cristal in the lounge at the airport. I just remember not being able to finish my second lobster. And I had the most amazing massage. Anyway, we rolled up to this incredible hotel. Really modern, but with an understated touch of traditional character, and insane views of Tokyo. Spent the first day being pampered, drinking the country's top sake, and eating sashimi so fresh that it was still gasping for air.
Anyway, due to a mix up, we had a few days to kill, and by some stroke of luck, both the entire top year of Japan's most exclusive girl's sixth form college AND the contestants of "Japan's Next Top Model" were also staying at the hotel. Thanks to GZA's general celebrity and good impromptu rapping skills, we got well in with them, and spent two or three days in a halcyon orgy with some of Japan's most beautiful young women. I had one half of the group, he had the other. Every minute felt like a lifetime of Christmases... It was the most profound experience of my life. Once that was all over, I spent a day being massaged, and then took a car around some of the hottest nightspots and basically became a celebrity overnight with my fantastic gaijin dancing skills.
But! It wasn't all fun and games. There was the competition. I turned up pretty pissed with half a dozen of the those Japanese schoolgirls in tow, and it turns out that GZA broke his microphone arm the previous night at a street MC battle, and couldn't drive. He had a word with the officials at the track, and I ended up filling in for him. Slid into this crazy Supra, did a glorified donut, and won the competition! TEN MILLION quid prize money. So I said I'd split half with GZA, and he was so gracious that I'd done him a favour that he gave me a place in the Wu-Tang Clan! I was thrilled. What a week! All that remained was to get over to NYC and start living it up. On our last night in Tokyo we partied like emperors, holding a bash on the top floor of the hotel that was so insanely awesome that they renamed the floor "The Steven Suite" in my honour
Next morning, woke up under a pile of sleeping sixth formers, and there's a message under my door
quote:
S-Dawg,
Had to split sharp 'cause I gots to be spittin' at NYC. Call my people and arrange flights, ca$h etc. See you soon,
Love,
GZA
As I walked back to the bed, scratching my head and yawning, I realised that at no point had I got any phone numbers from him. In a crazy dash I starting ringing round, but nobody would help me. Nobody could believe that it had been me behind that tinted windscreen. My only hope was the single photo that had been taken by the manager of the hotel during the suite christening ceremony - only that photo could prove my connection with the GZA, the Wu-Tang, and the 5 mil prize cash. But As I prised it from underneath the perfectly shaped buttocks of the most attractive young woman in Japan, I saw to my horror that at the moment it had been taken, I'd stupidly bent over to sneeze, and all you could see was the top of my head. In fact, as I was thrown out of the hotel for not being able to pay, I realised that I'd got no way of proving that any of it happened at all. All I could do was beg the British Embassy until they agreed to pay for my flight in exchange for four months of salary. I've been leaving messages for the GZA on the Wu-Tang official messageboard, but so far, no luck.
[ 30.01.2007, 18:24: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I interviewed Nick Cave today! I have ten minutes of conversation and then... nothing.
I found an old Sounds magazine from out of the 80s the other day, London. Nick Cave front cover and interview. I'm sure you could patch up an article using your ten minutes and the rest from there if you want. No one would notice, probably.
Posted by Dedalus (Member # 892) on :
He'd probably have spent at least three quarters of an hour going on about his new moustache.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
lol @ big nuts genius.
London - best thing to do in this situation is refer to your notes.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Notes? Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Go gonzo.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Notes?
Yeah - you know. Like a supplement to the recording just in case this very thing occurs, and also to record the things that don't show up on the transcript like gestures, mood etc.
Either that or do it from memory... you did use a memory didn't you?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Have you done a stupid thing lately, Thorn?
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
No.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Oof that's unlucky Big Nuts.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Actually, I did once - about four years ago - try and record a two hour interview without turning on the MiniDisc player. But I was still able to write it up afterwards. Do you know why?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Actually, I did once - about four years ago - try and record a two hour interview without turning on the MiniDisc player. But I was still able to write it up afterwards. Do you know why?
Had you been paying attention during the interview?
Posted by Dedalus (Member # 892) on :
I watched a film yesterday and didn't record the dialogue, and now I can't remember what happened! Posted by Dedalus (Member # 892) on :
This point's been pretty much done now, hasn't it?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
LOL
I didn't take any notes yesterday, at all!
Now, I don't know what I did, where I went, I don't know if I love my kids, what music I like, if I'm allowed to eat food..!
What am I going to do?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
start again, serve tea.
I've done stupid stuff, still that's life I guess..
Maybe you could write an whole interview based around what you would have liked Nick Cave to say salted with snippets from the 10 minutes you have and peppered with erotic images of Kylie ?
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
I'd be fucked if I could remember an hours conversation let alone accurately quote what the other person said. The trouble is the machines have taken away our skills. Damn the machines.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Yeh, good one Darryn, make the article about how you lost 50 minutes of conversation by spilling water on your ipod. Turn that lemon into lemonade.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Also - make up stuff.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Alternatively post up your questions here and I'll generate some suitable answers.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Call up Nick and say 'hey flyguy, I lost your interview by doing a spill on my ipod. But I do have a recording of my sister bashing a cake to fuck. Will that do?'
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: I'd be fucked if I could remember an hours conversation let alone accurately quote what the other person said. The trouble is the machines have taken away our skills. Damn the machines.
Yeah but an interview's not really like a conversation. It's usually more focussed, a bit more intense, and you're usually a bit more alert, because you're looking out for interesting angles to pursue, or inventive ways to put together the article. You know - you have a conversation by the water cooler, but you're nor expecting to have to report on it later. You're probably not even expecting to comment on what the person just said five seconds ago.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
That's true. London you're a plum.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I am sure the article is going to be awesome despite this small setback. It's not like I normally ever take that much notice of what the interviewee says anyway. I just wanted to indulge in an opportunity for some self-loathing. However, if you're all just going to take the piss I am going to become defensive and my self-loathing will turn to pride, defiance and self-belief. LOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE, TMO!
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Like a stupid, I had hag-face McKeith doing her awful thing on in the background last night. I know it makes me mad, but I just can't help myself. Anyway, she made a giant gingerbread man to shock a fatty into eating less lard. Mmmm, gingerbread man, I thought, and bought one on the way to work. Now I'm going to eat it. I win! Interestingly, gingerbread men were 39p in Waitrose, but gingerbread sheep (approx similar size) were 85p. Why should this be?
I find it weird that Nick Cave's actually an Australian. It's just not quite right somehow.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Interestingly, gingerbread men were 39p in Waitrose, but gingerbread sheep (approx similar size) were 85p. Why should this be?
Dammit, if it was the other way around then the sheep could be a baaa-gain. Can you just edit your post so that works? Then we can get on with the day.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
I find it weird that Nick Cave's actually an Australian. It's just not quite right somehow.
Is it the sophistication?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
This morning I was all set to get a fruit breakfast from boots but it was inexplicably shut. There was a load of women hanging around outside, gently bumping into the locked glass door, purses in hand, unable to understand why they couldn't get in to buy their mild painkillers, diet coke, and womeny medicine things.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: This morning I was all set to get a fruit breakfast from boots but it was inexplicably shut. There was a load of women hanging around outside, gently bumping into the locked glass door, purses in hand, unable to understand why they couldn't get in to buy their mild painkillers, diet coke, and womeny medicine things.
What is it with women and over-the-counter drugs?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Maybe it's all the ephedrine, codeine, opium and morphine that you can get hold of? Maybe they're too scared to go to real dealers but can get their hit in a nice soft, cuddly way from that nice pharmacy fellow at Boots.
Probably not, right?
Maybe it's all those stupid painful periods they keep having.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
yeah, I don't know. I'd also be interested to know if the recent man-centric advertising for cold remedies has swelled the queues with cock carriers.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Men cope really well with colds. In my opinion.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Life, love, and achievement are the only drugs I need.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
And alcohol, but only to fill the emptiness, help with the sleepless nights, and dull the sense that my friends don't really like me anymore.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Men cope really well with colds. In my opinion.
I think women can't catch colds and so when they think they've got one, they actually just looked at a man with a cold and get sympathy pains.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Ill men are gross. I so don't get the hurt/comfort thing, though apparently my best friend's first masturbation fantasies all ranged around this theme.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Didn't Dang once make his children have colds for a whole winter? That's harsh.
I have a cold. I haven't been to Boots to purchase anything for it, though.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I've got AIDS, you never hear me complaining about it.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I've got AIDS, you never hear me complaining about it.
You want to listen to that Whole New World CD by Jordan and Pete. I listened to it and my ingrown toenail cured itself!
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I saw an x-ray of a girl passing gas.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I've got AIDS, you never hear me complaining about it.
lol, yeah right. Is this a fucking joke? You should hear yourself after you've had a couple of drinks mate. It's all AIDS this, AIDS that. "Buy me a lager - come on, I've got AIDS", "Lend me a fiver for the fag machine. Come on: AIDS". Then the ranting and the tears "Bwah! They won't let me give blood just because of my AIDS! IT's discrimination!" "Waah! I sneezed in my kids' food and now I'm worried about whether they've got it too." Then there's the excuses, "Oh I can't come into work today - my AIDS is playing up again". It's all you ever talk about. Whinge, whinge fucking whinge.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: "Oh I can't come into work today - my AIDS is playing up again".
lol - I might try this.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Didn't Dang once make his children have colds for a whole winter? That's harsh.
My kids' primary school has been decimated by some sort of lurgee this week. Eleven children were off sick from my 10-year-old's class on one day. None of my kids were so much as "a bit poorly".
That winter may have been tough, but it's hardened them up like iron, I can tell you.
Who was my Secret Santa anyway? They cheekily bought me that New Scientist book about science which categorically proves that you don't catch colds by being cold. Someone asked that very question (it may have been Ben actually) and the book prints three replies from eminent scientists and World cold experts who all three say, no, being cold has fuck all to do with getting colds you uneducated loon.
Go into W H Smiths and read it for yourselves at lunchtime if you don't believe me. It's that Why Don't Penguins' Feet Freeze? book.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Is there a secret satan amnesty? That would be fun...
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
i punched a wall instead of battering in some **** 's stupid smug face. i fractured my hand! LOLZZZ1
yeah that was the most stupid thing recently
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Someone asked that very question (it may have been Ben actually) and the book prints three replies from eminent scientists and World cold experts who all three say, no, being cold has fuck all to do with getting colds you uneducated loon.
Here. Also contains the shocking revelation that Darryn shaved his best coon and then put him in hospital. Also contains that same exact joke, from me.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
the other most stupid thing i did was spend 3 months bumming around living off my savings while not even bothering to look for a job. i now want / need to rebrand myself as a 'digital copywriter' but have no agency experience so am going to have to take the first thing that comes along as i have let myself get so desperate. WHY DO I ALWAYS FUCKING DO THIS?
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by vikram: i punched a wall instead of battering in some **** 's stupid smug face. i fractured my hand!
Were you drunk? By 'wall' do you mean 'mirror'?
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Were you drunk? By 'wall' do you mean 'mirror'?
yes i was drunk. and no it wasn't a mirror!
[ 31.01.2007, 07:39: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Is there a secret satan amnesty? That would be fun...
I would like a 'guess your secret satan' thread. Can we do that? Shall I do that? Is there any point? Will Black Mask have died of Gaids before the final reveal if I did that? Would Vogon help or cackle away in the corner as all our parlous guesses fall short.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Can we do that? Shall I do that?
Ooh, a new thread? Do you think that's wise? Could the boards bear the weight of yet another new thread?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Dammit, if it was the other way around then the sheep could be a baaa-gain. Can you just edit your post so that works? Then we can get on with the day.
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