We're going to churn up the Friday thread this week to discuss the workings under the fanciful friday cloth. Bizzarre skin markings, tatoos and scars are the topic of conversation. Some of you may be reserved or shy to discuss them, so here, unabashed, like CBBC presenter I give you the machinery of Monsiuer Television:
Scars:
Get your tets out Like every good english schoolboy, I wear my tetanus like a badge of honour. It sybolises the bully boy beats of yore. Mine is a circular indent about the size of a cigarette burn. Just above the scar is the spot where the first offender: Black hair number one sprouts from. I have two of these that seem to appear overnight. I have no idea where he comes from, but I'm under good advice that these bastards are common, and the root always feels like the size of a pin head. A cursory check indicates that he's back. That little bastard is going to bug me now until I can get to him.
Oh Jackie Chan made in Thaiwan....uh uh uh uh oh oh! I have a small white scar on my forehead from some boisterous fighting with my brother. He got up off the floor and as thanks for pushing him over, he Fling Long Chopped me into the fireplace gashing my head open. This was the eighties so my father had to take me to the hospital with his usual pre-fix: "You'd better need stitches for this"
Balls On Parade Like my Father, I was born with one bollock up inside my groin, so when I was a teent tiny tot, I was carved open and the offending 'lock was popped back into place. After hearing about how there was some tangling involved, my brother would proceed to wind me up and then pat my head and saying "alright calm down......don't get your balls in a twist HA HA HA HA HA" *point*
Useless anarchic genitals
All night long (all night) I have speckle cock. You know, because of the thingy.
Tattoos
PWEI tattoo (left forearm) I shouldn't really have to explain this one, but when I was growing up and listening to music I was massively into Pop Will Eat Itself. Enough to tattoo myself permanently with the artwork of the Designers Republic. My only regret is that I didn't treat it very well and it is grey and cracked on the skin. This came from working in a kitchen and exposing the tattoo to instense heat. One night while it was healing, my metal watch strap unclipped and travelled down my arm onto the tattoo. There was ink all over my arm and bed sheets. Freckles peep through it.
Roleplay Geek Chic (left shoulder blade) I am a roleplay geek OK? I have the guild markings from the Moleur guild on my back. It's fucking spoddy I know, but it's there and I make no apologies. If I had my way, I'd start working on the other 15 immediately. I would. Shoot me now.
Over to you TMO Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I've just been advised that it is the BCG scar, not tetanus, but can we keep that error in because 'get your tets out' is still making me giggle into my sleeve?
[ 09.02.2007, 07:43: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I've some some scars from where I cut my skin with broken glass and blades from razors and scalpels. They're mostly on my arms, but the ones which aren't raised are fading now. Cigarette burns on the backs of my hands are kind of related. Small scar where I had a ring in my belly. Pretty lame. I've not had any accidents that have left any lasting marks.
[ 09.02.2007, 07:53: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Nothing more than a TB jab dent and an appendectomy scar. There's probably also a scar from a hernia operation somewhere down there, but I can't be bothered to check.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Being a molly-coddled middle class faggot wuss, I don't have many scars or any tats.
The scars I do have are pretty fucking lame, to be honest. I've got a tiny collection of thin scars on my right hand from when I put my fist through window at the age of 17, on Easter Sunday. I was tipsy on cider, listening to Nine Inch Nails and had just written and angry short story called 'Ruiner', and was pissed off at my Grandad for... I forget now. Making fun of my long hair or something. Pathetic. Just pathetic. They kind of make me laugh every time I notice them. I should have punched Grandad instead. That would have made a much better story; less of a cliche.
Got a cigarette burn on my left arm. Not self inflicted this one. A friend of mine stubbed his cigarette out on the back of my wrist one evening, and I was so drunk I didn't notice until the fag was all the way out. Shameful.
Another scar on the back of my right wrist is from where two friends (actually one of them was the same guy) dragged me down the street in Highgate by my feet one evening, and the skin just peeled right off. Gnarly.
The best one is a really nasty scar on my hip, from a night out on the town in Cardiff. I got into a fight with a bouncer and wound up calling him a 'gerbil faced motherfucker'. He didn't hit me or anything but *shame* I tripped over my shoelaces while I was running away and went skidding into the pavement, getting the skin off all the way to the bone and walked home with my shirt soaked in blood. Feeble. Just utterly feeble.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak:
had just written and angry short story called 'Ruiner'
I should have punched Grandad instead
'gerbil faced motherfucker'
*shame* I tripped over my shoelaces while I was running away
lol
LOL
LOL
[ 09.02.2007, 08:04: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Scars...
Like Benway (who it will now turn out was joking just to make me look like a psycho) I have the leftover scars from my breakdown, when for no real reason part from a sense of control I slashed my upper legs and calves quite badly, there's a lot of scars there, too many to detail.
One on my left temple where I had a cyst removed, one on my chin from an infection caused by a badly ingrown hair.
My back is one large scar as I lost all the skin from my back during a road accident, the scarring is the worst on my shoulders where it's really easy to burn, it looks a bit like odd but not scar like as they did a good job of keeping the scarring down.
Inside of both elbows have scars, one from falling through a door, one from burning my arm on some machine I was trying to fix at work..
My right 'bird' finger has a scar on the knuckle, it was obviously stitched but I don't remember how or when it happened.
Appendix scar, testicular removal scar (both on lower belly)
I'll do tattoos and stuff from home..
Mikee, what the fuck is a speckled cock ? What do you mean ?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I have no idea how many scars I have. And I've lost track of the number of tats as well, as most of them were done while I was intoxicated and a lot of them I can't really see without a mirror.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: testicular removal scar
TMI! TMI!
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
Scars:
I have a small downward line above my top lip from when my dog bit me (short version of the story - parked in a supermarket carpark, in backseat with my brother when I was about 8 and him 6, and elderly dog in boot. Brother says dog bit him last week when he said "boo" to it, I don't believe him and so say "boo" to the dog, which promptly bites me).
Several cut marks on my upper arms and a couple of fag burns on my left forearm as a result of teenage depression.
A few small round burns on forearm from falling asleep drunk in front of an electric fire while at uni and then picking at the blisters before they'd healed properly.
About 5 cut marks on my right upper arm as a result of a kinky sex thing including razors.
I also had major surgery on my jaw about 10 years ago, but through the marvels of modern medicine the scars are on the inside of my mouth, under my bottom row of teeth.
Piercings:
Three sets of holes in my ears and although I don't wear earrings much anymore they seem immune to closing over.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: TMI! TMI!
What ? Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: TMI! TMI!
What ?
Sorry. It means too much information.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
AIDS mostly
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
I don't have any tattoos although I still yearn for the purple PWEI guy doing the V sign on my left arm.
I have a scar on my left eyebrow from when my eyebrow ring was growing out and I got annoyed with it and pulled it out when drunk.
Apart from that I don't have much (apart from massive burns all the way up both legs of course)
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Tattoos:
None.
Scars:
There's a barely noticeable scar above my lip from the time I fell head-first onto a brick wall whilst staggering home from a friend's 21st birthday party. 8 pints of Ayingerbrau, followed by a bottle of whisky proved too difficult that evening.
On my left wrist there's an equally barely-noticeable scar that resulted from me running through the kitchen as a child, crashing into the ironing board and the iron falling onto my hand.
Bizarre skin markings:
A third nipple underneath my left 'main' nipple. Most people don't believe that it's a third nipple, but if you inspect it very closely you'll note that it is.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I don’t really have any major scars. I suppose the biggest (don’t laugh) is the scar running around the circumference of my wang, where I was circumcised.
My hands, however, are littered with little cuts and scrapes. Here are the most prominent ones:
On the back of my right hand there’s a chunky scar about an inch long. This was from a ‘chicken scratch’ when I was a teenager. Silly thing really, to those who don’t know what it is, a girl scratches your hand repeatedly in the same place until you can’t stand the pain any more. I never told her to stop. She fainted when she spotted the chunks of flesh under her fingernail and blood pouring out of the cut.
On the knuckle of my right middle finger, there’s a round scar. This was from removing little clips from the bottom of a car door. Using all my weight to push the clip down, the pliers slipped and I punched the floor with my full body weight. This bled a lot and left a little patch of skin on the floor.
On the middle joint of my middle finger on my right hand there’s a little crescent shaped slash where a spade connector slipped out of the pliers (I hate pliers) and sliced through the skin as my hand pulled back.
On the side of my right hand, on the edge by the little finger, there’s a little gash where my hand slipped removing a part from a printer. This one’s not very old and probably wont be a scar for long.
On the side of the third finger of my right hand there’s a gash about a centimetre long. This was from broken glass and was one of those ones which just wouldn’t heal. Old one that, it’ll never go away.
On my left index finger there’s another crescent shaped scar. This one on the tip of my finger. I was trying to cut a cable tie with a pair of scissors, while holding the cables out of the way with my left hand. The scissors snapped through the cable tie, but I hadn’t realised my finger was in the way. I had to have stitches for this one. Gives me a weird fingerprint.
My left middle finger has another gash near the finger nail. This is about a centimetre long and I’m not really sure where it came from. I think it’s car related, possibly to do with stripping wires using a kitchen knife
On the knuckle of my left middle finger there’s a cigarette burn. Me and a colleague got very drunk at a Christmas party (not even our own, we crashed one for another office) and decided to dance. I was smoking at the time. We were joined by a third person who grabbed us both, trapping my cigarette between my hand and my colleague’s arm. We both got a scar from that.
In terms of scars from other parts of my body, there’s a cut across the bottom of my chin. This was from slipping off a chair and hitting my shin on a table as I went down. There’s a patch on my right shin where the skin is always white, where my leg hit a tree, breaking the bone. There’s a small cut on my left elbow where I fell off my bike as a kid. Scars on both my knees from more childhood bike antics. And there’s a little patch on the back of my head where no hair grows, this is from falling off a swing and busting my head open. Back in the good old 80’s where kids had to actually take the consequences of behaving like artards. Oh, and there’s a little scar in the middle of my chest that looks like a fag burn but it’s actually from where my mates pinned me down and sprayed deodorant onto my skin at point blank range until I howled in pain. I used to have a small ‘action man’ style scar on my right cheek from shaving, but that seems to have more or less gone now.
I think that’s pretty much all the scars I’ve got.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Oh, in terms of other body stuff. I have holes in my left ear and left nipple where I used to have piercings.
I also have four nipples. Two main ones which are giant, like burgers, and two little ones which are about 8mm wide and each below a main one. These are definitely nipples, much as I like to deny this fact.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Pale white patch on outside of left ankle from when uncle spilt flask of hot water on me as a toddler and I got a satisfyingly ginormous puffy yellow blister.
BCG mark on left thigh (Mum said - tell them to give it to you on the leg rather than the arm so you won't have a mark which will show under sleeveless tops. They did. I had a mondo bad reaction - yellow weeping sore. Result: pale purple mark on thigh about size of 20p piece versus everyone ele's tiny white shoulder mark).
Little white patch on right middle knuckle where hand got scraped along wall as a kid.
Scar through left eyebrow from eight stitches when at university (head clash).
Little scar on forehead from accidentally nutting corner of chest of drawers as teenager.
Two top middle front teeth - built up with temporary crowns that were never replaced following fall from bike as kid.
Ears: pierced once each (dull).
Current injuries: rapidly-fading monster bruise on left knee/inner thigh, bruised left temple and cheekbone from falling over my own feet and crashing into court wall head-first when playing squash last Sunday.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
also: black big toenail from playing squash in too loose shoes and stopping too quickly and stubbing toe inside aforementioned too loose shoes.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Scars...
Like Benway (who it will now turn out was joking just to make me look like a psycho)
no, I'm a member of the club.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I also have four nipples. Two main ones which are giant, like burgers, and two little ones which are about 8mm wide and each below a main one. These are definitely nipples, much as I like to deny this fact.
I have 4 nipples also! My two regular ones, plus two which are offset on my upper belly. My father also has an extraneous nipple in exactly the same place as I do.
Scars - I have a few - most noticeable is one under my eye from crashing my bike into a tree as a lad, and my head is covered in them from falling off of bar stools whilst very drunk while I was serving in the Army in Germany.
Tats: 2 - one rather naffish "Death or Glory" skull thing, and the rather more artitsic fine line characature of Ogri and his dog, Kickstart. I would like some more as well.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
my god, you're all freaks! Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I have a zigzag scar like a bolt of lightning on my forehead. A reminder of my run-in with Voldemort.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Mikee, what the fuck is a speckled cock ? What do you mean ?
When I got the priapism, the veins burst all over and now I have an array of spots on my peenai. Think of it like hundreds of red stars in the pink sky.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: my god, you're all freaks!
I was just thinking the same thing. What happens when these people take off their tops? It must look like the opening sequence in Babe.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
At least you've all got normal cocks! Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I have a white circle on my back where a large mole shank away to nothing. This bit of skin is totally lacking in pigment and burns like that! I expect it will be the death of me...
I have a wierd grid shaped scar on my calf where I, very briefly, rested it on the electric heater. I hope this will fade more. One of my friends had branding done up her legs as stocking seams and tops. She couldnt walk for weeks. lol! She is widely accepted to be a mad though.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
No piercings, no tattoos. As if.
Scars:
BCG scar on left arm, which is probably larger than it should be due to (a) my constantly picking at it and (b) the fact that everyone tried to smack each other on the arm without fear of being disciplined. Those were the days.
Two sizeable scars on my knees caused as a result of careering too fast down a hill and into a pebbledashed wall while on a plastic toy bus when I was about four or five. I tried to stop using a desperate foot-pumping action but when it knew what was going to happen I decided to lead with my knees instead of my head. I remember blood streaming from both knees and tears streaming from both eyes - and my Dad calling me a 'poof' before applying Dettol to the wounds. Those were the days.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
What a surprising number of overly nippled men there are on TMO.
Scars Mentallist person scarring left upper arm. Some proper chunkers, including the one inspired by The Drugs Don't Work (I was young and bereaved, okay?). The doctor what stitched that one up laconically suggested I might try listening to Phil Collins instead. I suspect I might have be dead by now if I'd taken him up on that.
Under chin. Face, concrete floor. Mountain bikes, Diamond White and ankle length lycra skirts don't work in combination. A subsequent ten years of dental drama from that. Meh.
Appendectomy. Boring. Mostly unnoticeable.
Forehead; the floor hit me in the face dancing to Nirvana. Making that now twice in total that Smells Like Teen Spirit has landed me in A&E.
Two tiny dots on belly button where the fifth and sixth rings used to live. I took them out to get married as they loooked like an emerging alien under my tight frock. Those two refused to go back in again, despite some fairly hardcore shoving that caused me to leak blood and goo. Might have then redone at some point.
Neat dot on nose where there used to be a nose ring. That was removed when I started whoring myself for government.
Pierced Ten in each ear, of which roughly seven each have healed.
Both nipples
4 rings in belly button
Clitoral hood. Mmmmm Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
is it only me who never self-harmed?
also: appendicectomy, you ER-watching buffoons. proper English and that.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: also: appendicectomy, you ER-watching buffoons. proper English and that.
The doctor at the Royal Berks called it an appendectomy. At least he told me he was a doct...
*misc asplode*
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: is it only me who never self-harmed?
I tried self-harming once, but the voices in my head told me to stop.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Tats: eww, no.
Scars: one weeny one on my knee from falling over in the playground when about 5. A few bits of pink left over from unsightly mole removal (back, hip, belly).
Holes: took my extra earrings and nose stud out for good last year- too old for all that.
Toenails: always either creamy-silver or sparkly-silver.
Other than the above: PRISTINE.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Self harming was well trendy in 1995, though, H1ppy. All your mates must have thought you were dead boring. As opposed to my mates, who fucking loved breaking doors down then manhandling six foot of unresponsively pissed blood covered idiot off down the A&E.
Heh, I forgot the scar on my left wrist where I tried to kill myself with a shard of a diamond white bottle. Because of Rage Against the Machine. Or something. 27 stitches! I thought that was quite impressive. The bouncer who caught the upspurt of arterial bleed on his forehead probably was less impressed though.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: nose stud
Oh god, I always assumed it was a spot! The nose ring explanation makes sense actually - I thought that zit had a lot of staying power. Well I'm glad it's cleared up, anyway.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
In retrospect, I have to say my decision to stop drinking Diamond White appears to have been a sensible one.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I am now VP has taken her nose ring out.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
This thread is making me feel very boring in a nonmodified, nonsuperfluousnippled sort of way.
Piercings: none. Having survived being a teenager in the late 80s and the proliferation of Miami Vice style one-ear piercings that were popular at my school without getting one myself, I've never had any piercings.
Tattoos: none. I've never felt so strongly about a design that I wanted it to be embedded in my skin. My substitution may have been my first car which was blanketed in bumper stickers. That said I haven't ruled out the possibility of getting a tattoo at some point, if I can ever decide what I should get. Perhaps this will become a thread, what tattoo should froops get.
Scars: many, many. Thanks to my cycling days, I still have the signs of a fair amount of road rash. A few more serious ones, too: the 3-inch long, quarter-inch wide gash in my right knee, resulting from being forced onto a rocky shoulder by a narrow road and reckless truck, caused by the sharp tread of the bicycle pedal. Then there's the scar immediately beneath my left eye, from an open storm culvert that I hit when trying to avoid a group of people who walked into my path, causing the bike to launch me for (what I still think must have been a) graceful arc ending in a faceplant in a gravel driveway, and an evening at a hospital in rural western Pennsylvania with a patient doctor picking bits of rock out of my face. Or, the one on my lip, from a trip headfirst through the back glass of an old Honda Civic (would have been bad had I not been wearing a helmet).
And then there are the scars from childhood, like the one on my forehead that came from helping my older brother build a treehouse. I was clinging to the rungs that had been nailed into the tree, and holding a plywood sheet above my head, to pass it up to my brother, who was on the platform waiting for me to hand the board up to him. You can probably guess what happened- I handed the board up, he didn't have a grip on it, the corner of the board took a chunk out of my forehead and knocked me off the tree. I remember landing on my back, the wind knocked out of me, bleeding from my head. It wasn't my finest moment.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Self harming wasn't trendy when I was a teenager. Being as I'm enormously old and all that.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
By the way, what the fuck is this about extra nips? Photos?
Also- Ringo's new tag should definitely be GIANT NIPPLES, LIKE BURGERS.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
They are pretty huge. In fact, whilst bumming, I couldn't stop laughing that his actual teats are the same circumferance as my own lollably small areolas.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
This could be a whole other thread, are your nips disproportionately sized in comparison with the rest of you. If Ringo's are dinner plates, mine are in the neighborhood of a .
Considering they're really not useful for much, they're probably sized appropriately. It's not like I'm about to lactate or anything.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I just threw up a little in my mouth.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: It's not like I'm about to lactate or anything.
[ 09.02.2007, 11:53: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
"It's not like I'm about to lactate or anything." said Froopyscot, as if seeking reassurance from the forum.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
If I remember correctly, Darryn has some tiny nips too
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
It might be possible, sure, but let's just say it's not likely to appear on my to-do list in the immediate future.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: "It's not like I'm about to lactate or anything." said Froopyscot, as if seeking reassurance from the forum.
lol.
That's okay, isn't it?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Can someone please tell me the correct size for a male nipple?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Who would be the proper authority to answer that question? Pink perhaps?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
A little smaller than a 2p coin
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: A little smaller than a 2p coin
Oh great, now I have to go figure out the exchange rate again...
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Could we please talk about lady nipples instead?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Could we please talk about lady nipples instead?
A little nipple sensitivity, eh there ralph?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I don't find male nipples that interesting.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I don't find male nipples that interesting.
Got Milk, ralph?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
"I don't find male nipples that interesting" said Ralph, as if seeking reassurance from the forum.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
lol
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Ralph you are so sly.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Hey missgolightly!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I give up.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: If I remember correctly, Darryn has some tiny nips too
I do..
Should I measure them ?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Should I measure them ?
That's a good idea. Shall we do a diameter?
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
Okay Mikee, I'll admit that my nipples are probably pretty big as far as nipples go - about 5cm/2" across.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Can we get that in millimeters? It's important to be accurate.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by missgolightly: Okay Mikee, I'll admit that my nipples are probably pretty big as far as nipples go - about 5cm/2" across.
I have to admit I just measured an approximate two inches with my forefinger and thumb...
...and then felt a little aroused.
[ 09.02.2007, 12:16: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
About 19 millimeters for me.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
A fraction under 1.5 centimetres each, so that's about a 14mm diameter.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Wowsers. I feel like I have pancakes now.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
Oh god, ladies of tmo - please post and stop me thinking I'm a huge nippled freak.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Picture the scene: NWoD's office...
Colleague 1: "That new guy Michael asked to take a photo of me the other day, with my bike"
Colleague 2: "Yeah? What on earth for?"
Colleague 1: "I dunno. He's a bit, y'know... 'funny' isn't he? He seemed to feel safer when he was wearing my cycle helmet. I just smiled and let him get on with it."
Colleague 2: "Makes sense. I didn't realise he was... like he is. Hang on - what's he up to now?"
Colleague 1: "Looks like he's sitting naked in the conference room, measuring his nipples with a shatterproof ruler..."
[ 09.02.2007, 12:28: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I can't find a ruler. Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
They're killer sensitive too. Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by missgolightly: I'm a huge nippled freak.
Tag? Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Colleague 1: "Looks like he's sitting naked in the conference room, measuring his nipples with a shatterproof ruler..."
lol, I just did measure my nipples with a shatterproof ruler.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I know you did Michael. I know.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
23 millimeters.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Scars Some nice patches of scar tissue on the front of my right hand and my right forearm. These were caused by burns I sustained as a baby. They used to cover the whole of my baby forearm but as I've grown, my skin has stretched and shifted and now there are just three patches of scare tissue from about midway down my forearm onwards.
Smiley scar below left knee. This was acquired when I was about 6 or 7 while playing in the back garden with my younger sister. I was pretending to be Dracula and I knelt down as if I was going to bite her while she gave her dollies a tea party. Sadly, I managed to kneel on the little ceramic teapot she was using and the spout went right into my leg. Oddly, I didn't notice anything was wrong until my sister started screaming and pointing at my leg. I remember looking down and thinking how the gash resembled the insides of a tomato
Piercings Three sets of earrings piercings in each ear but two sets are now dormant.
I also had my navel pierced many years ago but recently had to remove the navel bar I had in there due to my burgeoning baby bump. It's left a little tiny hole, again in the shape of a smiley mouth.
Tatts... Just one very small one - a blue butterfly on my back that I had done in a fit of adventerous exuberance while on holiday in Australia. They told me that it was done using 'herbal inks' that would fade within 3-7 years. It's still there, however.
...and that I have very long second toes - longer than my big toes (although one got broken a couple of years ago and now curves crookedly towards my big toe rather than stretching beyond it). I also have very high insteps which make it impossible for me to wear shoes against bare skin in the summer without losing most of the skin on my feet.
I have a large beauty spot (mole, actually) on one of my inner thighs. Apparently, one of my uncles has the same thing. He also had a mole right on the end of his nose, so I suppose I should think myself lucky.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
How are your nipples ?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ EXCELLENT. That looks splendid. I have to dash off, sadly but I'm sore they'll be more data come Monday.
Sure. I mean sure.
[ 13.02.2007, 07:20: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
They're not quite lactating yet, Dazza but it's only a matter of time.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
No metric rulers handy, so I've had to do the conversion. 9/16" or a little over 14mm.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I think Miscs measurement is a bit inaccurate.
Got to quote you Froop. Can't be to ocareful
quote:No metric rulers handy, so I've had to do the conversion. 9/16" or a little over 14mm.
[ 09.02.2007, 12:50: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
What, you think they're going to grow between now and Monday?
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I think Miscs measurement is a bit inaccurate.
I'm pretty sure Misc didn't post his measurements, but was talking about the size of mine.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I hope you're right.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
LOL, yes.
Mine are around 23 mm (when cold), if anyone's interested.
Would for the want of a pair of two-inchers!
I think a bar graph would be more appropriate here, as we're dealing with discrete (rather than continuous) data.
I'm a PC. Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
I think the data would be better represented in the form of circles in perhaps twice the size of reality, where the largest circle is the biggest nipple in the background, then the smaller ones in various different colours in the foreground, if that makes sense. If I was less of a techno spaz I may try to do this myself, but there you go...
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I think maybe a 'not to scale' note would be a valuable addition to that otherwise splendid diagram, to prevent mental scarring.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
Oh wow Misc, that's fantastic and exactly what I had in mind!
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I found a ruler! 40 mm.
edit: when warm....reducing to 28 mm when cold.
he: why are you pressing you breast against the kitchen window dear? me: it is for the internet. he: right oh.
[ 10.02.2007, 07:43: Message edited by: Abby ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Oh yeah! That diagram is the ticket.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
i am approximately golightlyesque.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
I have nipples and they don't sexually excite me. This may have frustrated girlfriends in the past.
Girlfriend; I hate it, you don't love me
Jhnoj; I'm telling you, it's only my nipples that don't love you
Girlfriend; I can't go on like this
Jhnoj' Neither can my nipples
;(
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by jnhoj: Jhnoj; I'm telling you, it's only my nipples that don't love you
This is one of the funniest things I've read in ages.
Oh and thanks H1ppy for making me feel less freakish!
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Oh yeah! That diagram is the ticket.
Good stuff, like a diagram of the solar system, in which missgolightly is Jupiter and I'm Pluto, recently downgraded to dwarf nipple. Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
30mm as best I can measure through all the stupid hair..
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
That's quite large for a man isn't it?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
If misc updated the nipple-o-meter you would be able to empirically state wether or not Physic has big man-nipples...but yeah, I reckon he has.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Though given that most of the other men seem to have several spare nipples perhaps his total nipple area is about average?
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Is this nipples plus aureoles, or just nips?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Both.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
What do you mean? It's got to be aureoles as well hasn't it. (That's the bit that surrounds the pointy bit isn't it)
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
This would be excellent if people had only measured the teat.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: This would be excellent if people had only measured the teat.
I'd be impressed by a two inch teat, jesus.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
It would be quite disturbing if people had only measured the teat.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Well mine are 15mm when "hot" and about 12mm when "cool"
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Mine are about 22mm warm, and about 19mm cold.
[ 13.02.2007, 07:29: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: Well mine are 15mm when "hot" and about 12mm when "cool"
This has to be a lie surely? nobody has 15mm nipples. That's not a nipple it's a mole. Check elsewhere and you'll find the real ones.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Let's see how good your memory is, Nathan and try to have a guess at the size of VP's Bruce Lees'
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo:
quote:Originally posted by not...: Well mine are 15mm when "hot" and about 12mm when "cool"
This has to be a lie surely? nobody has 15mm nipples. That's not a nipple it's a mole. Check elsewhere and you'll find the real ones.
I CAN'T HELP I IF I'M NIPPLE CHALLENGED! Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Alright, Tiny Teats?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Perhaps at the next secret santa someone could buy Not.. a brown marker pen?
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Let's see how good your memory is, Nathan and try to have a guess at the size of VP's Bruce Lees'
I reckon about 27mm warm, 24mm cold. Maybe less. Very pink, very round.
[ 13.02.2007, 07:37: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
you stevie'd my joke you boner
I always knew VP would have perfect nipples. It just made sense really.
[ 13.02.2007, 07:38: Message edited by: Ringo ]
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Of course they're round. What other shape could they possibly be.
I don't want to measure them, because I'm guessing my entire boob is probably the same average diameter as everybody else's nips. Also, I don't want to measure them, as taking a tape measure into the staff toilet and scrabbling about inside your bra is FUCKING ODD.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: taking a tape measure into the staff toilet and scrabbling about inside your bra is FUCKING ODD.
It is odd. Getting your tits out is a much better idea.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Of course they're round. What other shape could they possibly be.
You'd be suprised - they come in all kinds of weird shapes. Obviously you rarely see ones with straight edges, but that still leaves a lot of variety before you get to the perfect circle.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Diamond-y shaped ones on men are quite cute.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
egg shaped is quite common, or an oval. sometimes one is egg shaped and the other is round. It's qute rare to find a pair of totally matching, perfectly round nips. You should treasure them, VP. They're special.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Fucking hell, that was another top quality contribution there, wasn't it? Sorry TMO.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Diamond-y shaped ones on men are quite cute.
Louche fucks robots. Robots with jewell-encrusted tits.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
she's all about the bling
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Louche fucks robots. Robots with jewell-encrusted tits.
Is it wrong to quite like the idea of jewel encrusted tits?
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
It's not wrong. I'm imagining some diamante ones right now. They'd probably cause an outbreak of shredded, bloody lips though.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:There has been some research linking excessive male nipple size (above 20mm) with low testosterone levels. Leading to the conclusion that the large nippled male is "less of a man" though this is largely circumstantial.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I always thought that blokes like big boobs, but not big nips. I think a bloke I worked with once said he'd been put off by nuddie pics of Liz Hurley showing quite big nips.
Edit: I am basing my theory on one (1) piece of evidence. The big boob theory is obviously backed up by rather more substantial data.
[ 13.02.2007, 08:04: Message edited by: Vogon Poetess ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Some men like really fucked up things. There are men out there who actually like unfunbags like those of Jordan; bloated, stretched footballs crammed to bursting with silicon that bear as much resemblance to a real breast as she does to a real woman. Some men are just all messed up like that
Proper men though, proper men like women with natural bodies. Regardless of size or shape.
Immature little boys who have only just discovered their cocks and have repressed fantasies about their mothers. They are the ones who demand a specific size or shape.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
I find it difficult to get turned on by a picture of a woman with small boyish nipples even if her tits are massive. I guess because bigger nipples = womanly and smaller nipples = peaodophillia/gay.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
The big boob, little boob thing is a bit of a, well, booboo. Men like breasts - most will tell you they like big breasts, but breasts are breasts are breasts. And when it comes down to it, most men like nipples too. In fact when in flagrante I'd imagine most men focus on the nipples rather than the breast itself. It's seemingly out of the ordinary things that make us think twice - ie hairy areola's, nipples like washing up liquid bottles etc.
I have tiny nipples (3-4mm?), bigger areola's (just a bit bigger than a 10p piece) the nipples are very very sensitve - running is murder.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Proper men though, proper men like women with natural bodies. Regardless of size or shape.
Immature little boys who have only just discovered their cocks and have repressed fantasies about their mothers. They are the ones who demand a specific size or shape.
You speak big truth, Ringo
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I always thought that blokes like big boobs, but not big nips.
Most likely in much the same way that women like chocolate. A giant 1lb bar of Dairy Milk in Woolworths seems like a great idea when you're hungry, but getting home and trying to fit that all in your mouth at once isn't going to happen. As Ringo says, getting excited about giant Wally Jumblats is for boys who only have their whities.
[ 13.02.2007, 08:18: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
I don't think getting excited about big breasts is indictaive of immaturity, but then they still do it for me. I think only getting excited about big breasts is more the issue. I like big breasts, but I like women rather than bits of women and if I like a woman I can’t see the shape and size her parts being an issue; breasts, nipples, whatever.
For the record I think my nipples are pretty ordinary size wise, they are bloody sensitive though.
I am somewhat boringly without piercing or tattage. I’m covered in scars mind. I acquired most of mine through a childhood and adolescence seemingly spent bouncing around on my head and bumping into hard sharp objects like a fucking idiot. This may explain a great deal.
I’m quite found of the two little white marks that appear in my lower lip if I stretch it, where I managed to push my milk teeth through it by attempting to break a table with my chin as a toddler. I have a nice corresponding scar and bald patch under my chin.
Then there’s the small crescent shaped scar and bald patch in beard on my right cheek where in a bout of teenage lunacy I thought it’d be a good idea to hit a blank bullet with a hammer. I got a fragment of copper shell casing in my cheek, which went on to form an abscess the size of a golf ball, but I think I've told that story before.
My favourite though is the one that runs along and through my left eyebrow where a kid ran a trolley into my face during a comically violent playground scrap at nursery school.
There are loads more, like I said I'm covered in them.
I'm also covered in freckles and moles.
[ 13.02.2007, 09:16: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Dux (Member # 279) on :
quote:In females there is a wide variation in sizes but generally speaking between 18mm and 50mm are most common
Shurley shome mishtake? How the hell is a baby gonna get its mouth round a 5cm nipple? In fact anything bigger than 25mm sounds a bit improbable for the maw of a wee nipper?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
where the hell on that wikipedia page is the reference to sizes? I've looked 3 times now and still can't see it.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Don't worry H1ppy, I gave up trying to find it earlier after reading the whole page several times and have only just seen it now too.
ETA - I clicked on the "hide" bit by the contents at the top and I can't see it again, and even the "contents" bit has disappeared now so I have no clue how to undo it lol.
Also, I'm currently feeling extremely guilty, as I plugged a wire into Pinks router this morning because I thought I'd accidentally unplugged it, which then crashed his pc and he spent four hours trying to fix it before I mentioned that I had touched wires earlier. Oops.
And the award for least computer literate person ever goes to...missgolightly!
[ 13.02.2007, 12:44: Message edited by: missgolightly ]
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Before everyone goes home, measures their nipples and comes to the conclusion that they are hideously freakishly enormo-deformo. I should point out that wiki pages are easily edited. In fact I edited one this morning in order to make myself feel better and other people feel worse.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
i was pretty certain that was the case
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
I...have small..nipples...
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: Before everyone goes home, measures their nipples and comes to the conclusion that they are hideously freakishly enormo-deformo. I should point out that wiki pages are easily edited. In fact I edited one this morning in order to make myself feel better and other people feel worse.
Lol, I was just about to ridicule the claims in that Wiki too, by pointing out that while I may have big nips (apparently...) I also have premature baldness and a pretty hairy bod, both of which are normally linked with high levels of testosterone. Kind of pointless now
I wasn't even aware my nips were big, I've got quite a wide chest so anything smaller would look odd I'd have thought..
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Like two brown pennies fighting over an acre of pink field?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Then there’s the small crescent shaped scar and bald patch in beard on my right cheek where in a bout of teenage lunacy I thought it’d be a good idea to hit a blank bullet with a hammer.
Idiot.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic: pointing out that while I may have big nips (apparently...) I also have premature baldness and a pretty hairy bod, both of which are normally linked with high levels of testosterone.
See, we're both hairy with big nips. I think the signs really are pointing to big-nippled men being the more masculine.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
hmnn, inconclusive... although there seems to be a trend for masculine guys to have oval nipples.
[ 15.02.2007, 06:07: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Mine are oval too
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
When I got the priapism, the veins burst all over and now I have an array of spots on my peenai. Think of it like hundreds of red stars in the pink sky.
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
