Every day some or other bullshit media outlet is crowing about how thucking fick people are nowadays, neglecting, as ever, to focus on their own role in this depressing process.
Since I've been posting on the internet I've noticed crazy mis-spellings and grammatical mix-ups inserting themselves into my off-line writing that simply never would 'of' happened, six or seven years ago (most egregiously, your/you're mix-ups, which reduce you from being a respected producer of sparkling copy into a dribbling twattard in a matter of a single word).
Examples of your own dumbing-down tipping points, pls? And who's really to blame?
PF:
I received this today as part of daily science/tech email update that I subscribe to:
quote:Embargo Date: 22/2/2007, 0:01 Posted: 19/2/2007, 12:40 Posted by: John Wiley & Sons
A study of 36 Spanish honeys from different floral origins revealed that honeys generated by bees feeding on honeydew have greater antioxidant properties than those produced by bees feeding on nectar. The study is published in this month’s edition of the Journal of the Science of Food and Agriculture.
For a second - for two seconds - I read this as referring to 36 attractive young Spanish women.
Fscking studip braine! Why you tricking mee? Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
obviously i am prone to typos and such, but i get well fucked off when people write "your" instead of "you're". it's everywhere, especially on myspazz. i blame god.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
tangent: ben, go to cnn.com and look at what the WORLD'S TOP NEWS STORY is
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
people who say pacific when they mean specific
aaarrrgghhh
Also someone at my work recently wrote to someones gp asking for more information on a patients 'Instrumental Bleeding' rather than Intermenstrual bleeding That one still makes me cringe now...
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I was just thinking about how I didn't have anything to offer on this topic, and then I stood up from my desk and someone said "Hi Nathan," and I stared at them for a few seconds and replied "Yeah, I'm alright how -are... no... er... Hello", as though I were a malfunctioning robot cycling through the correct response.
Also yesterday, I was giving out my email address to a PR and I forgot what my own name was. I had to check it in an email in my sent items folder. I definitely blame the internet for that. Over the last five years people have addressed me as 'Thorn' at least as much as by my real first name.
[ 22.02.2007, 04:39: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kira: Also someone at my work recently wrote to someones gp asking for more information on a patients 'Instrumental Bleeding' rather than Intermenstrual bleeding That one still makes me cringe now...
Apostrophes are a pretty annoying one, too. I mean - people say things like 'oH i WaS niVER tauT iT in skOOl' but it's not like your capacity for learning just... stops when you leave school. It's not that fucking hard to get it right! People learn foreign languages at the age of 50! How thicko do you have to be to consistently fuck up a hard and fast logical rule in your own tongue?
Posted by Bad Tmo Boy (Member # 909) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: I had to check it in a email in my sent items folder.
Grr! An ex-girfriend of mine used to say thinger instead of finger, stupid tart.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I have tried to acquire tolerance and understanding of other people's grammatical spasticity, but there are still things that rub me up the wrong way, when they probably shouldn't.
The reason why is probably the biggest. It is so ubiquitous that Radio 4 presenters and Guardian writers use it regularly, and it could be argued that it is now acceptable useage. But it really fucks me off to hear it.
Apostrophes, yeah, people should just fucking learn them. Would people like a lesson? It's really, really easy.
Another one is less and fewer. Again, not that fucking hard.
And then all the usual cuplrits:
too/to your/you're they're/their/there should of etc.
I think the perception of a greater proliferation of shite grammar is due to the fact that the net has led to us reading far more material from other people - ordinary, bad-writing people.
But, language evolves, and should evolve, and becomes simpler over time, and should become simpler - and I don't think we're in danger of losing any subtlety of nuance.
Language fascism is almost as bad as, er, language anarchy.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bad Tmo Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: I had to check it in a email in my sent items folder.
Grr!
Fucking hell that was bad. Sorry everyone.
Sometimes I wonder whether this is down to pushing buttons to make words, rather than directly forming them with your hands. But probably not.
[ 22.02.2007, 04:32: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
And!
You don't 'pour' over manuscripts, dusty bokes, teeny tiny handwriting - you pore over them.
You don't 'reign someone in' you rein them in - it's an equestrian term, yes?
A picture of Mart, yesterday: (Actually, that's my favourite Lynne Truss picture. She appears to be melting.)
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I found an error in her rubbish grammar book.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: The reason why is probably the biggest.
Haha! Snorton is fond of this kind of thing. A while back he said something like "added additional" and when I complained at him, he changed it to "added extra", as though that made any difference at all.
Also! Few people seem to know how to use 'THAT' and 'WHICH' correctly. The website that they built before I got here was full of those errors, which really pissed me off.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
'hoards' instead of 'hordes'.
'these ones'.
'literally' used inappropriately.
'off of'. it's 'from', fucktard.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
"There were seven different types of biscuit on offer."
Different is redundant. It adds nothing to the sentence. Get rid.
For those interested in this sort of thing, Bill Bryson's Troublesome Words is a genuinely useful reference work.
Posted by Bad Tmo Boy (Member # 909) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Also! Few people seem to know how to use 'THAT' and 'WHICH' correctly. The website that they built before I got here was full of those errors, which really pissed me off.
dont you mean The website which they built before I got here was full of those errors, THAT really pissed me off
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Where did Truss fall down, Mart?
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bad Tmo Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Also! Few people seem to know how to use 'THAT' and 'WHICH' correctly. The website that they built before I got here was full of those errors, which really pissed me off.
dont you mean The website which they built before I got here was full of those errors, THAT really pissed me off
No, obviously not.
You use comma which if you've already got what would be a complete sentence, eg
"This is my new house, which Jack built"
Use 'that' if you're - you know - completing a sentence eg
"This is the house that Jack built."
See?
[ 22.02.2007, 04:51: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I think it was an unnecessarily hyphenated "well", as in "she was well-liked".
"She was a well-liked woman" would be fine.
But it's no big deal. Even Fowler fucks up in a few places, and he's the daddy.
Oooh another one: none used as a plural. "None of the people were there".
Data as a singular.
Most of these don't rile me in informal speech, and I often use them myself - it's in formal writing or speaking that it shouldn't happen.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I can't stand:
"The thing is, is..." - Why the fuck do you need to say is twice?
"Basically..." - There are times when it's correct to use this word, but most of the time it's used simply as filler. I sometimes find it slipping out of my mouth, and have to fight back the urge to punch myself in the face.
"Its/it's" - When compiling the last catalogue I spent ten minutes arguing with one of the content writers over the unnecessary apostrophe he insisted on adding to the word its. "But it 'belongs to it' so it has an apostrophe, yeah? Like Dan's if it belongs to Dan"
Does anyone watch BBC Four's *Never Mind the Full-stops? It's Buzzcocks for grammar nazis.
ETA: Can someone explain when to use commas. I've been meaning to ask someone since I was eight.
[ 22.02.2007, 04:50: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak:
quote:Originally posted by Kira: Also someone at my work recently wrote to someones gp asking for more information on a patients 'Instrumental Bleeding' rather than Intermenstrual bleeding That one still makes me cringe now...
Apostrophes are a pretty annoying one, too. I mean - people say things like 'oH i WaS niVER tauT iT in skOOl' but it's not like your capacity for learning just... stops when you leave school. It's not that fucking hard to get it right! People learn foreign languages at the age of 50! How thicko do you have to be to consistently fuck up a hard and fast logical rule in your own tongue?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I know someone who says, "You always have to reduce things to the Lowest Common Denominator, don't you!"
Looking at the Wiki entry for LCD, it seems that this may actually be a fairly common figurative use of the term, but I'm not convinced myself.
I think she uses it because it includes the words "lowest" and "common", which may be sneered with ease. It would be even better if it was, "Lowest Common Moroninator" or something, but "Denominator" is vague enough to work for many people.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I don't think there's a comma rule, as such. The approach I generally take is insert a comma if there would be a natural pause if the sentence were to be spoken, like that one there.
Someone with more language madskills would probably tell you it's used to separate clauses, or something.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Thanks H1ppy. That's what I thought.
Incidentally, I'm a big fan of the word whom.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Hey hey, hold up. This thread was meant to be about examples of your own stupidity, not other people's.
As for Never Mind the Full Stops - that guy may well have written Gosford Park, but I wouldn't say someone who appeared in Monarch of the Glen of Shit has any right to fucking lecture anyone about anything, ever.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: ETA: Can someone explain when to use commas. I've been meaning to ask someone since I was eight.
As parenthesis to separate off sub-clauses from the main clause of the sentence. Eg
"Miscellaneous Files walked to the bakery."
"Miscellaneous Files, who was covered in shit and piss after hosting his most recent pig party, walked to the bakery."
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I am winner.
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
I think that was my fault Ben, I misread your initial post.
So feel free to use this as an example of my own stupidity if you like.
[ 22.02.2007, 05:01: Message edited by: Kira ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Was it a deliberate misspelling in the thread title, btw ben? I only noticed it just now.
Oh dear. I broke all the threads.
[ 22.02.2007, 05:12: Message edited by: H1ppychick ]
Posted by Bad Tmo Boy (Member # 909) on :
I feel the use of written language very restricting, how the fuck is one meant to write in a brummy accent? how can you write in a voice dripping sarcasm, how does one differentiate "it was a time of war" and that lilting deep voice like molasses over gravel saying "It was a time of war." fuck writing and lets start speaking to each other again. It is so much easier to get ones point accross without it being mis-understood.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: I am winner.
YOU'RE WINNER!
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bad Tmo Boy: It is so much easier to get ones point accross without it being mis-understood.
No, that's true. No one ever got into a mis-understanding using the spoken word.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
^^^ see above for how to convey sarcasm in the written word.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
I used to be really good at spelling and even used to help my mum proof read her school news letter when I was younger, but now thanks to msn my brain has a tendency to go blank at the proper spelling of certain words. I've even been known to mix up your and you're occasionally, although it winds me up so much I tend to notice I've done it straight away, luckily.
Re other peoples stupidity, I always have the urge to kill, or at least badly injure, anyone who uses more than one exclamation mark.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
apostrophe
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
Damn, I just noticed that too.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
LOL You're all Radio 4 listeners, aren't you?
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Man, I just listened to Joss Stone being interviewed by Chris Moyles on Radio 1 (I know, I know). Christ. It was just shocking, truly shocking. She just would not shut up, didn't stop to think about anything before it poured out her mouth. Fuck man. I nearly drove off the road at one point, I couldn't switch it off, total car crash radio. Talking all over Moyles, not listening to anything, fucking terrible, fucking terrible. You could see that Moyles was giving her the opportunity to redeem herself a bit after her Brits performance but she just used her big mouth spade to excavate a bigger hole for herself.
So to answer your question ben. Joss Stone may be to blame.
Posted by Bad Tmo Boy (Member # 909) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: ^^^ see above for how to convey sarcasm in the written word.
It strikes me more as pedancy than sarcasm, but thanks for the attempt.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Being black really doesn't seem to agree with Joss Stone(d)..
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
When people say that they 'didn't learn in school' then maybe it might be because that's the only time they will be marked or corrected on their lack of skills. All this pent-up rage is getting us absoloutely fucking nowhere. We need to take back the basic pronciples. Innit.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bad Tmo Boy:
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: ^^^ see above for how to convey sarcasm in the written word.
It strikes me more as pedancy than sarcasm, but thanks for the attempt.
Perhaps the reason you struggle to make yourself understood is that you don't know what any of the words you use mean.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
You know, I'm completely impressed with the general standard of spelling and grammar on the web. Putting aside the standard they're/there/their confusion and apostrophe crimes, most forum posts I read are worded clearly and the odd spelling error is an irrelevant minor irritation.
Maybe this is does come from lowering one's own standards after years of reading the stuff, or of filtering the errors as if you had a Babel fish in your eye but, considering how bad it could be, we really do get off very lightly I would say.
And some common spellos like "bare with me" can even be funny in the right/wrong context.
I think we'd know if things were genuinely bad. People would soon vote with their thingers and simply start using another internet instead.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: And who's really to blame?[/b]
Clearly, the arrival of widespread text messaging facilities and 'msn' has seen a large number of people adopting 'txt spk' as a quicker, more 'concise' method of communicating. Some people claim to use 'txt spk' in order to restrict the size of the message they intend to send, thereby minimising the costs involved. Another argument is that they are simply too busy to be bothered using 'full words', hence save their own valuable time by sending out messages that are only readily comprehensible by either teens, or hardcore 'txt spk' translators.
Either way, the fact is that the number of people adopting these latest methods/acceptable forms of communication is growing at breakneck speed and is likely to worsen; probably to the point where letters aren't used any more - little copyrighted signs and dashes may be the next stage. In the meantime, I will continue in my time-honoured fashion of ignoring anybody who sends me text messages or e-mails incorporating the deliberate use of 'txt spk', or any other meaningless drivel.
Edited to add: unless it's a fit bird, in which case I usually turn a blind eye.
[ 22.02.2007, 05:54: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Can anyone explain to me what the point is of text speak? I've had a phone for over four years and in that time I've never had anything to say by text that cost anything more than 30p. I'll try to use the full word limit for each text too. Arrangements go like this:
Me: So where do you want to meet then?
Mate: KINGS ARMS
Me: Ok. The Kings Arms on Radnor Street or Shelby Road?
Mate: RDNR ST
Me: Cool, see you there. A man just fell over. It was funny. My favourite colour is blue.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Hey Thorn, we've got our very own personal Kerry McFadden in our office. It's incredible. She started off really quiet and it was a couple of days before I even knew she was a Scouser, but three weeks later she's in full flow at top volume all day long with that dirty laugh they all seem to have. And she's built exactly like KMcF, only a bit younger.
You've probably moved on from that now though.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
It's true that I'd sort of forgotten about KMcF, but I'll always have a place in my heart for trashy sluts.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Me: Cool, see you there. A man just fell over. It was funny. My favourite colour is blue.
Cool, I'm glad to see I'm in good company as I do the same thing. I feel cheated if I don't manage to get full word value from my texts, always use full words and think nothing of sending 2 or 3 text long essays if I feel like it.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: When people say that they 'didn't learn in school' then maybe it might be because that's the only time they will be marked or corrected on their lack of skills. All this pent-up rage is getting us absoloutely fucking nowhere. We need to take back the basic pronciples. Innit.
My thing is that I find myself more and more uncertain about some of the rules and that winds me up at times. I do think the media is partly to blame, although it's not that simple, of course. However, it is common for the rules to be deliberately broken for effect in the media. I hate that film title with happyness in it. I just know it will mean a boatload of people will think that's how it's really spelt. But then again, I found myself looking at 'honeys' in ben's first post and wondering why that wasn't spelled with an -ies. Duh.
But does it actually mean people really are dumbing down? To me picking on things like this is a great excuse to moan about other people because we all get so wound up by the irritation of having strangers around us all the time with their 'stupid' and different habits. It satisfies the urge to moan, but doesn't actually hurt anyone.
I don't think we are, as a society, dumbing down. It's been less than a hundred years since free education was introduced in this country and thirty years after that before the school leaving age was raised to sixteen. It's still a class-based system in some way or another even in the state sector; never mind the obvious divisions between public and state education. So it's been a dumbing down for the majority of the population since when? In spite of all the flaws in the system, the general population has never been so well educated or erudite.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
It really fucks me off when people write 'opps' rather than 'oops'. I'm not sure why, as it's not even a proper word, but it really grinds my gears. I mean, it's one of the most basic things you learn in school, how to spell a word based on how it sounds.
Also, people who describe bald people as being 'bold'.
I mean, for fuck's sake!
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Edited to remove stupid reply to your post, ringo. Sorry.
Re-read the post and laughed. Missed the point the first reading.
[ 22.02.2007, 06:22: Message edited by: sam ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Also, people who describe bald people as being 'bold'
lol, when we were young there was a ryhme that went
Hey you over there what's it like to have no hair? Is it hot or is it cold I don't know cos I'm not bald
With the word bald pronounced to ryhme with cold. My dad went mental. Not because we were laughing at baldie bonces but because 'IT'S BALD, NOT BOLD '
We managed to annoy him more by dragging out the word to baaawl-da to maximum effect.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I had to buy a new mobile this week, as my ancient fossil finally died (Jeff Carphone Warehouse looked distinctly confused at the request for "the cheapest and crappest phone in the shop please"). It took me ages to work out how to turn the predictive text thing off. It was a fucking nonsense. Why and how do people use it?
One of my bunch of" I've got married/sprogged/a big house, what about you?" Christmas cards included one from an ex-Uni friend, who informed me she was expecting a "visit from the stalk". She's a teacher.
I clearly remember being taught their/they're/there at First School. But what I've never understood is how you can continue in ignorance outside the education system. Surely every time you read something your eyes will be absorbing the correct version? I mean, even the tabloids and sleb magazines have sub-editors, so the plebs will be reading proper English. Or am I being hopelessly naive, and they just look at the pictures?
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I was unaware of a pronunciation difference between bold/bald. Maybe it's a regional thing?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
balled/bald
bowled/bold
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: It took me ages to work out how to turn the predictive text thing off. It was a fucking nonsense. Why and how do people use it?
My predictive text facility contains all my favourite swear words. It's easier to type 'fu...' than 'fucking **** ', for example.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Also, people who describe bald people as being 'bold'.
Indeed. There was a teacher at school called Mr Caldwell - who was bald. His rather unoriginal nickname was 'Baldwell', although people always wrote 'Boldwell'. Most irritating.
Thorn - I admit to occasionally using such turns of phrase as 'additional extra'. Having observed in this very thread that this mashing of words may well be employed by Guardian writers, I am going to avoid it like the merry plague.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: It took me ages to work out how to turn the predictive text thing off. It was a fucking nonsense. Why and how do people use it?
Do you really find the multi-tap method quicker or easier than predictive?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: "visit from the stalk"
lol, maybe it has something to do with her magic bean.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
NWOD's on top form today.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: But does it actually mean people really are dumbing down?
I'm not entirely convinced. In my stint at BCA, I used to work in correspondence and the letters I use to open were from a wide range of the public, full of errors, mostly gibberish, incomprehensible and all of which were presumably from people who were at the very least, purchasing books. I mean, unless we're talking about a real sudden drop of values in the past five years, I wouldn't say so from personal experience, but then perhaps other forumites might have better examples.
I still like pronciples. Can I keep it?
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
As an example of language dumbing down, I present evidence of my two younger brothers. One is 26, is training to be a primary school teacher but is also a hip hop DJ, and uses myspace a lot. His messages are usually amusingly shortened, missing out apostrophes and slightly misspelling things on purpose:
quote:[older brother, in reply to an enquiry about his teaching coursework] howdy, yeah im writing entralling bidness about the place of science in the school curriculum-gangster
Younger one is 16, still at school, uses Bebo a lot, and his messages are proper scary text speak:
quote:[younger brother, on his bebo page] i love chillin with my m8s an stuff, luv goin out, dnt care wer lyk lol. finally just got the girl of my dreams. WOOO lol. as u can tel im prety weird :S but oh well, ill get ova it lol.
I usually find it fairly easy to understand texts from the older brother, and from what I've seen on his myspace page his mates write similarly. Messages from the younger one, on the other hand, should almost come with an attached dictionary, and his bebo page seems to show that his mates write the same way as him too.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I was unaware of a pronunciation difference between bold/bald. Maybe it's a regional thing?
Midlands? They rhyme to me.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: It took me ages to work out how to turn the predictive text thing off. It was a fucking nonsense. Why and how do people use it?
Do you really find the multi-tap method quicker or easier than predictive?
I genuinely didn't understand how the predictive thing worked. I was trying to type the word "does" as in "does this new phone work then?" and after "d" it just kept changing it to other words and making me angry. How is that easier? Surely it massively constricts your own style and turns every message into a clone made up of common words. And how much time does it really save you? 4 seconds per message maybe? It's the equivalent of a pushy parent sitting next to their child and changing every other word in their story as they try and write. "Now, Giles, did you really mean to put ginormous monkey-man? Let's put large ape instead!"
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by missgolightly: ...is training to be a primary school teacher but is also a hip hop DJ
lo-lol.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by sam: But does it actually mean people really are dumbing down?
I'm not entirely convinced. In my stint at BCA, I used to work in correspondence and the letters I use to open were from a wide range of the public, full of errors, mostly gibberish, incomprehensible and all of which were presumably from people who were at the very least, purchasing books. I mean, unless we're talking about a real sudden drop of values in the past five years, I wouldn't say so from personal experience, but then perhaps other forumites might have better examples.
I still like pronciples. Can I keep it?
Maybe it is more about people feeling increasingly empowered to have opinions and write in about them in recent years?
BCA?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Who wants to describe the benefits of predictive text to VP? Before anyone starts, like.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: lo-lol.
Yeah, it is pretty funny. He has no real intention of being a full time teacher, and only did it so he could do occasional substitute work, and to stop my mum nagging him, I think.
[ 22.02.2007, 06:54: Message edited by: missgolightly ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
oh god texting without predictive on... jesus, it'd take AGES to write anything!
joss stone has the weirdest accent doesnt she? transatlantic westcountry. she's sweet though
eta: without not with. duh me
[ 22.02.2007, 06:56: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: How is that easier? Surely it massively constricts your own style and turns every message into a clone made up of common words.
Eventually, you know after how many 'taps' it takes for your desired words to be highlighted. It does save you a lot of time. Say, for instance, you'd just thought of something hilarious and wanted to text a friend, or whoever. By the time you've 'typed' each letter in, you may have forgotten precisely how you wanted to word your message (it's far more time consuming than on a computer keyboard, or via speech), whereas with the predictive text facility you can let the words flow straight from the engine house, so to speak.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I genuinely didn't understand how the predictive thing worked. I was trying to type the word "does" as in "does this new phone work then?" and after "d" it just kept changing it to other words and making me angry.
This seems weird to me because I have never not used predictive text. When I have occasionally tried I get really wound up by the fact I have to press some buttons more than once to get the right letter, and I have to look at them carefully to see how many times to press the button too. With predictive text I press each button once and as the word is typed, it sorts out which letter I wanted.
Edited to add:
It also saves me having to learn txt. I simply can't make myself do txt. It just seems wrong.
In the end it's habit, innit?
[ 22.02.2007, 06:59: Message edited by: sam ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: BCA?
The Book Club Association. You know those adverts in the Sunday papers for 'buy ten books for 4p and only have to buy another 4 books for the next year'? That company is actually ha-yooge. Massive customer base. Or it was. Anyway, they are bigger than you think and have their hands in every mail order book/CD/DVD mail order known to man. Owned by BMG and still profiting from every book-lover who's scared of the internet.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by vikram: oh god texting with predictive on... jesus, it;d take AGES to write anything!
Christ! Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I used to not get predictive text either, VoPo, but then I decided to learn it, and now I understand it, and it really is quicker and easier for most words. The problem is when you want to write jazztastic, pornosity, tu madre, etc. Then you press a button to go back to, er, unpredictive texting.
I was rather pleased when I finally "got" how predictive works, and realised I'd been a bit stubborn and Luddite about it previously.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I find predictive text is fine, seeing as I generally only ever send "yes" "no" "ok" "will be five minutes late. Sorry!" and "where?"
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: In my stint at BCA, I used to work in correspondence and the letters I use to open were from a wide range of the public, full of errors, mostly gibberish, incomprehensible and all of which were presumably from people who were at the very least, purchasing books.
You often hear employers talking about how applicants these days can't string a sentence together and blah-de-blah. I remember a 'have your say' on it and this dude posted in garbled comma and full stop free nonsense about how he made people sit a writing exam to make sure they were literate. It made me laugh. It's easy to notice other people's mistakes becuase... unless you're talking about typos you're not going to know that you're making mistakes. So your own writing might going to look fine to you, but mistakes in other people's are going to leap right out.
I dunno. A big part of my job involves subbing copy from people twenty or thirty years older than me, and some of it is total gibberish, with a complete lack of understanding for the basic rules of grammar. These aren't uneducated people, either - these are skilled professionals with seven years of further education.
[ 22.02.2007, 06:58: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
I hated predictive texting at first too, but now I love it. I've tried on several occasions to explain the benefits to my mum, however, but she tends to do the adult equivalent of putting her hands over her ears and chanting "la la la, I can't hear you", so I've given up.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
What do people have on their 'Words Added' list of their mobile? You can probably tell quite a bit about a person from their Words Added. Mine, I believe, are mostly a mixture of baby-talk and gangsta argot.
I will pf on a fresh thread when I get a moment.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
So to summarise VP, you can store your most common spellings and the phone will bring your most used combinations up first. Due to keypresses, spelling something like 'Zygote' would be a key combination of
994689
Whereas using normal typing would be:
9999 *pause* 9994666833
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
My supremely sexy graduate trainee emailed the whole department the other day. This was his first paragraph:
Nice Evening Listening on Radio 4 tonight. Note that it is not on Channel 4 as was eluded to earlier. If you tune in there then you will get Gillian McKeith’s ‘You are what you eat special’ which probably won’t help you further your knowledge on the UK’s skill shortage. Anyway, Enjoy.
I responded with this:
We've definitely got a skills shortage when our fast track management graduate trainees don't know the difference between eluded and alluded.
Which, pleasantly enough, kicked off a whole afternoon of flirting by email that brightened my day immensely. In fact, it's probably not entire coincidence that today I am in tremendously sexy underwear and a remarkably low cut top.
Which adds little to the discussion in hand, I realise, but it pleases me.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Due to keypresses, spelling something like 'Zygote' would be a key combination of
994689
Whereas using normal typing would be:
9999 *pause* 9994666833
Also, once the word is added to your dictionary, you'd probably just need to press:
9 [up]
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: a mixture of baby-talk and gangsta argot.
That could be a fascinating insight into your life there. Don't tell me what it really is; in fact, I can probably work it out for myself but I prefer what my imagination is making of it. Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: she was expecting a "visit from the stalk". She's a teacher.
Heh, yes. This reminds me of an email I received at work, which was meant to convey the happy news that the office assistant was knocked up. The email (which had been sent by the notoriously thick office manager) was entitled 'Ferzana and the Stalk'. To the credit of my colleagues, it wasn't long before a collective snigger rose into the open plan air.
I also find myself becoming enraged when having to deal with text speak. It's too dreadful to comprehend. There's another board I visit where a few posters use text speak. I can't bring myself to read their posts.
Moving away from picking on others now, I find that my own grammatical ability shocks me with its crapness every now and then. It's as though I'm either slowly forgetting basic rules or unknowingly (lazily?) absorbing all of the poor grammar that I'm regularly exposed to and incorporating it within my own output. There's no excuse, either way.
Oh! I've remembered one more example! Every time I have to catch a bus into town, I pass a fish and chip shop in the town centre, which has a shop window sign proudly boasting "Curry's with chip's £1". It makes me so cross that I now have to sit on the opposite side of the bus.
[ 22.02.2007, 07:09: Message edited by: Sidney ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Say, for instance, you'd just thought of something hilarious and wanted to text a friend, or whoever. By the time you've 'typed' each letter in, you may have forgotten precisely how you wanted to word your message (it's far more time consuming than on a computer keyboard, or via speech),
Oh for Christ's sake. If you can't remember a 20 word message for more than the 12 seconds it takes to type it by text then there is something wrong with your brain.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by missgolightly: I've tried on several occasions to explain the benefits to my mum, however, but she tends to do the adult equivalent of putting her hands over her ears and chanting "la la la, I can't hear you", so I've given up.
My Dad received the most 'up-to-date mobile phone available' for his birthday and, after six months of constant use, is still at a loss as to how you open these 'text messages' that keep appearing on his display.
Louche -- I am shocked!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Pwhoar, sidders, I did enjoy a nice lil, typo there, where 'proadly' was the ramp in which I rode my evol kanevelol motorcycle over the mighty row of apostrophaux "Curry's with chip's £1" bus. I really like this thread.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Luckily, I spotted my typo and corrected it. Thanks for pointing it out, though!
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Yes, but I still don't get how you make the word you want come up. It just suggests random things.
I don't think my old phone had predictive on, so I'm quite used to how many taps each key takes for each letter. It's really not that strenuous.
I don't recall the flow of a message being interrupted- I can hold thoughts in my brain well enough.
I still maintain it's lazy and cretinous, and will stay firmly switched off.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: The Book Club Association.
I still receive mailings from the Military and Aviation Book Society after I made use of the special offer thingy a number of years ago. I often receive phone calls from them trying to sell completely unrelated items; only the other day it was some 300-part DVD series on the breeding patterns of microbes. Or something.
However the worst exchange I had with a BCA telephone person was when I was presented with an offer of a free book from a selected 'personalised list'. On hearing this, and given my order profile, I expected to be presented with a list of military history titles.
Instead, I was offered the latest novel by James Patterson.
Me: 'Erm, no. I've only ever ordered non-fiction titles, specifically military history. Non-fiction' Operator: 'How about something by Zadie Smith then?'
Irked that I had just wasted three minutes of my life, I hung up.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
This thread has reminded me of a cover letter for a CV I have in my drawer from someone applying for a job here in the Editorial department. It's so good I've typed it up - some of it, anyway. It is priceless:
quote:Please excuse the insubstantial nature of my CV. There are several reasons for its apparent sketchiness (the fact that I am currently in the process of converting it into a fully-developed multi-media presentation in order to focus on its strengths, is one). I might be inclined to say that it suggests a well rounded personality (I have omitted one or two irrelevant positions that I have held), however – if I am honest –the real reason for the lack of noticeable career progression contained within is that – at fast approaching 30-years-of-age – I have only recently realised where I believe my primary talent lays. And therefore what I want to do.
After seeing your advertisement in The Guardian, I feel that I can safely say that what I want to do is become part of the team at your company. The ad alone was more than enough to make me sit up and take notice because the requirements stated within it so closely correspond with the elements of my current position that I enjoy the most. On accessing your website, I only found more fuel for the fire.
I may have opened with an apology, which is probably not the best way to persuade an employer that one is the ideal candidate but I can assure you that there is method behind such apparent madness.
I have always enjoyed the English language in all its forms. The written word, for me, is the most effective of these. I readily admit to a tendency to overwrite – just in case that wasn’t obvious from this rambling cover letter. Indeed, right now as I type, there is a persistent voice at the back of my head urging me to just get the “yours sincerely” bit before I go too far and preclude myself from an interview by laying it on too thick.
But then again: if I listened to that voice I’d be either:
a) insane or b) denying myself a golden opportunity.
Just the mention of present subjunctives and dysfunctional prepositions (or whatever) makes my head spin. So, while I certainly don’t profess to a true academic’s knowledge of English, I do have a feel for prose...
I can't type any more. There's another full page of this stuff. It's almost as though someone had written a "how not to" for a cover letter.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
It's not called "Stork" now anyway. It's called "I Can't Believe It's Not A Fat Heron".
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Oh for Christ's sake. If you can't remember a 20 word message for more than the 12 seconds it takes to type it by text then there is something wrong with your brain.
I was waiting for you to pull me over for this.
Yes, well... sometimes one's memory isn't as efficient as it normally is. You know, those nights where you're extremely drunk/stoned and think of the most inspirational, life-changing ideas/statements that would never have come into fruition under normal circumstances - were it not for the predictive text facility, these potentially groundbreaking remarks may be forgotten by the time you've finished tapping for the first letter.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
Oh wow Mart, that's great! I think if I received that letter I'd probably get him in for an interview just for his enthusiasm and general insanity (and it'd probably be funny).
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
missgolightly has a worrying immunity to mad people. You will get yourself in trouble if you don't exercise caution, missgolightly. Take it from me.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
lol @ covering letter. O that's a beauty.
quote:I may have opened with an apology, which is probably not the best way to persuade an employer that one is the ideal candidate but I can assure you that there is method behind such apparent madness.
lololol
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I am a little bit in love with mart's CV man.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
What's the longest word you can make with predictive text by simply pressing the same number over and over again?
I think mine is broken as it allows the following words before going ?
Those are definitely words I shall be using from now on.
ETA: Does everyone else's predictive texting say "cabba" and "tutvuvu"? If it does then I think we should all start using "cabba" for "hello" and "tutvuvu" for "goodbye" and see how long before there's an article about it in Metro.
ETA II: "Cabba" is in urban dictionary and "Tutvuvu" is all over MySpace as a member's name. So those are both nonmom I guess. *sigh* feedededeed.
[ 22.02.2007, 07:37: Message edited by: dang65 ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I have a poky stick based phone which makes predictive text remarkably easy to use. It just offers the word in a wee box and you tap it and zap it is in your text. I have taught it many swear words and the term fogmonsters.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I am a little bit in love with mart's CV man.
I didn't say it was from a man.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: I didn't say it was from a man.
It's alright, I'm not fussy.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
It is quite obviously from a man, though, isn't it? I can't imagine a woman writing that drivel. I wonder why that is - my perception defaulting to male, or actually something about how it's written that screams "man, who is a twat".
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I have a poky stick based phone which makes predictive text remarkably easy to use. It just offers the word in a wee box and you tap it and zap it is in your text. I have taught it many swear words and the term fogmonsters.
I have recently acquired one of these and the stupid things offers the longest choice possible, which makes it utterly useless and extremely annoying. Grrrr
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: missgolightly has a worrying immunity to mad people. You will get yourself in trouble if you don't exercise caution, missgolightly. Take it from me.
This is very true, unfortunately. If I'm alone on a train I can guarantee that a mad person will come and sit next to me and start talking gibberish. I seem to have some sort of mad person magnet. However, I have occasionally met cool mad people this way, like the time a homeless guy told me about sneaking into glastonbury and about how he used to be a chef, or the time a little old lady shared my sandwiches and bought me crisps and cups of tea during a long journey from Glasgow to Southampton, so the good mad people balance out the bad, in my experience.
[ 22.02.2007, 07:45: Message edited by: missgolightly ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Does everyone else's predictive texting say "cabba" and "tutvuvu"?
Yep mine does the same as yours. May be Nokia-specific?
[ 22.02.2007, 07:46: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart:
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Does everyone else's predictive texting say "cabba" and "tutvuvu"?
Yep mine does the same as yours. May be Nokia-specific?
My samsung phone says cabba but not tutvuvu.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by missgolightly: My samsung phone says cabba but not tutvuvu.
My Sony Ericsson agrees.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by missgolightly:
quote:Originally posted by mart: May be Nokia-specific?
My samsung phone says cabba but not tutvuvu.
Aha. So, "tutvuvu" must be Finnish. Obvious really, once it's pointed out.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Talking of Finland, I only learnt the other day (from reading a Ken Follett novel, of all things) that Finland fought three wars between 1939 and 1945, including declaring war on the Soviet Union, which strikes me as quite hardcore.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Yes, and they're very, very proud of the fact too.
One reason Sven Hassel is so popular in Finland is because he features the Finnish fighting in a couple of his books and includes a couple of fairly insane Finnish characters, which they seem to take as an enormous compliment.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
How do you know the following:
a) The Finns are proud of their war heritage? b) Sven Hassel is popular in Finland? c) The reasons for his popularity?
Are you a bit a of a Finnish wartime expert or something? I'm genuinely curious.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
One of my flatmates at uni was a girl from Finland. She was really nice and used to give me lovely Finlandia vodka, but wasn't tall or blonde like I'd been led to believe on tv.
I think I still have her email address though, so could ask her some Finland related questions, if you want.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I was in Finland last year. A mix up with names meant that I was awarded a large grant by the Norwegian Minister for Agriculture to continue my work 'furthering research into high yield grains'. Not speaking Finnish, or wanting to seem rude, I accepted the invitation and was flown over to Helsinki, where I was presented with one of those large cardboard cheques at the Annual Conference of Finnish Agricultural Science.
[ 22.02.2007, 09:05: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Finland seems to produce some of the world's best drivers. Kimi Raikonen, mika hackinen and (i believe) marcus gronholm all hail from there. There are loads of finnish rally drivers actually. Probably on account of their country being so slippery, giving them a natural advantage on low-grip surfaces.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
That's true ringo. Out of all the countries I've been to, Finland is the slippiest. I did a comedy stumble in the bathroom that could have ended in paralysis, and I stacked it in the centre of town and fell into a freezing cold fountain.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Finland seems to produce some of the world's best drivers. Kimi Raikonen, mika hackinen and (i believe) marcus gronholm all hail from there. There are loads of finnish rally drivers actually. Probably on account of their country being so slippery, giving them a natural advantage on low-grip surfaces.
I'm always amazed how easily you can turn any topic, and I mean any topic, back to driving. Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: How do you know the following:
a) The Finns are proud of their war heritage? b) Sven Hassel is popular in Finland? c) The reasons for his popularity?
Are you a bit a of a Finnish wartime expert or something? I'm genuinely curious.
Answered in different order to make more sense...
b) I'm a Sven Hassel nut (toned down quite a lot these days, but still) and I run a fan website (which I'm rebuilding just now actually for its tenth anniversary *proud*). We have a lot of Finns on the mailing list - probably more so than any other single nationality. His books never went out of print there, unlike the English language editions, several of which have not been printed for nearly 20 years now.
c) The same fans have often mentioned their pleasure in finding references to the Winter War in the writings of a foreigner. As you said, it's yet another of the little known stories of WWII. In Finland there is a book called 'The Unknown Soldier' (check it out on http://en.wikipedia.org/ - link formatting won't work on here), which has much in common with Sven Hassel's stories, though I've no idea if he ever read it himself. This also seems to please the Finnish Sven Hassel readers I have corresponded with.
a) The Finns I have spoken with are very proud, and quite rightly so, of their resistance to the Soviet Union's attempts to annex disputed territory in the 30s and 40s. I don't know the details, though I should read up on it really as it sounds quite fascinating. I'm not a bit of a Finnish wartime expert, sadly no.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Also, not me this time, but a waiter carrying our beer fell over on a metal spiral staircase and had to be carried off in an ambulance.
[ 22.02.2007, 09:22: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Oh I’m sure it’s not the slipperiest country in the whole world. It’s just that generally the most slippery countries are less concerned with driving than they are with walking around in wooden shoes and making clocks.
For more information on the subject, look out for Ringo’s Pocket Guide to Europe available in your local book store now.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Mart. I think your loony man applied for a job at my place. As a designer.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Talking of Finland, I only learnt the other day (from reading a Ken Follett novel, of all things) that Finland fought three wars between 1939 and 1945, including declaring war on the Soviet Union, which strikes me as quite hardcore.
Not only that, they managed to keep the Soviet hordes out as well. As you seem to know a little about the Finnish military Mart, you'll probably be aware that that the insignia of the Finnish Air Force was a light blue Swastika on a white disc - a design that was thought up independently, or so any Finnish military-type will tell you.
I was in Finland a few years ago, and visited Helsinki, Tampere, and Turku; if you are ever in Helsinki I definitely recommend Suomenlina island - there is wonderful U-Boat there, the Vesikko.
I also met a lovely Finnish girl (who looked anything but the archetypal Finn as she had long black hair) on the overnight Helsinki-Tallinn ferry - where an otherwise two-hour trip is turned into an overnight Finlandia fest accompanied by onstage bands playing 1970s era muzak. One band were clearly trying to ape The Shadows, and we dubbed the lead guitarist Hank Marvininen - which was pretty funny at the time but very shit in retrospect.
More Finnish trivia:
- the aircraft seen at the end of 28 Days Later belongs to the Finnish Air Force, and the pilot speaks in Finnish, natch.
- the Finns were putting ice in cider long before certain glut-advertised brands made it fashionable over here.
I have to say that I am very attracted to Finland.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Suomenlina island is shit.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: Suomenlina island is shit.
Well I would have to say that there isn't much there for a Chinese lawyer.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: As you seem to know a little about the Finnish military Mart
No, I know nothing more than what you and Dang have just told me, which was all very interesting. Particularly the Hank Marvinien story.
One of my mum's favourite jokes is one she was told while in Finland:
A foreigner is up in north Finland and is impressed by the imposing countryside, the weather, the cold, all that, so asks a local what they get up to in the summer.
"We fish and we fuck."
"And what do you do in the winter?"
"We don't fish."
I think if Hankinien Marvinski told it on stage, between numbers, during a vodka'ed-up night cruise, it might just be funny.
But probably not.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Well I would have to say that there isn't much there for a Chinese lawyer.
lol - pwned!
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
If your mother was told that joke by a Finnish person Mart it would just be one more person destroying the stereotype of Finns as dour and humourless.
I found them to be anything but, especially the police officer who gave my friend a breathalyser test on exiting the ferry - when I was driving. When the machine started to beep madly she asked him to step out of the car - only to burst out laughing when she saw no steering wheel where it should have been.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
- the aircraft seen at the end of 28 Days Later belongs to the Finnish Air Force, and the pilot speaks in Finnish, natch.
So why does it have RAF markings then? I can't remember the type - from memory I think its a buccaneer, which was only used by the British and South Africans. I could be wrong though...
[ 22.02.2007, 09:56: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: So why does it have RAF markings then? I can't remember the type - from memory I think its a buccaneer, which was only used by the British and South Africans. I could be wrong though...
If you have the DVD Waynster, hit pause. You'll see a pale blue and white roundel, which is the current insignia of the Finnish Air Force. The aircraft is also a Hawker Hunter - a Buck could never have pulled off those swift moves.
I knew those issues of Aircraft Recognition that my father used to bring back from work would prove useful one day...
[ 22.02.2007, 10:01: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
They got the roads wrong in 28 Days Later. In the film they are instructed to take the M602 east of Manchester. The M602 doesn't go to the east of Manchester!!! It's a three mile stretch off the M62 from Liverpool and it stops west of Manchester.
Stupid 28 Days Later People. iI they're making that sort of elementary mistake it's no surprise they're getting their planes wrong too.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
fucking hell, who cares??
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
your joke would have been more funny if you'd recalled that benway is a chinese accountant.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I do, Ringo. I care. I once bought a book about the history and construction of the north west's motorway network. That's how much I care.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I once bought a book about the history and construction of the north west's motorway network.
Oh and I actually read it as well. So there.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I actually meant about the aeroplane thing, to be honest, but it applies equally I think.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
How very dare you, Ringo. Everyone listens perfectly politely when you go on and on about cars.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Yeah. Fucking cars.
Oooh I have another driving lesson tonight. Test in three weeks!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: How very dare you, Ringo. Everyone listens perfectly politely when you go on and on about cars.
No they don't! Also; I don't care.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Is mart 17?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
35 Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
You're older than me. I am slightly surprised that you could have got to 35 without learning to drive. But I am sure that surprise is a product of my own prejudices, so I'll shut up now.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche:
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I once bought a book about the history and construction of the north west's motorway network.
Oh and I actually read it as well. So there.
They had another documentary about that farm in the middle of the M6(not0)2 the other day, but it seemed to spend most the time going on about the farmer's search for a girl to live on the farm with him. Girls, if you can imagine for a moment exactly the sort of bloke you'd never ever want to live with and that they live in exactly the sort of place you'd never ever want to live, you'll quite likely have a picture of this guy.
He seemed quite nice though, and I do admit to not having a clue what sort of bloke girls would like to live with, so I could be wrong. He hadn't had any calls at all though, so I'm feeling fairly confident.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Remember I've lived in foreign for longtime, where cars aren't needed. And worked from home. And didn't have kids. And didn't have any money.
[ 22.02.2007, 10:24: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
I'm 28 and I can't drive either, though I have started learning. I was too much of a stoner to learn when I was 17, and then never really got around to it.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Of course, if we'd grown up in Finland...
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
lol
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: No they don't! Also; I don't care.
Incorrect use of the semicolon, Ringo.
Ah. The perfect opportunity to get back on topic.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I don't believe there is any such thing as a 'proper' use of the semicolon. I've never come across a situation where it would be more appropriate than a colon, comma or hyphen.
Actually, a slightly techy one this, but why don't people know the difference between a back-slash and a forward-slash?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Actually, a slightly techy one this, but why don't people know the difference between a back-slash and a forward-slash?
A man from IT had remote control of my computer the other day (which is well freaky in its own way, actually don't look at my favourites, don't look at my favourites) and he told me to use a back slash. I automatically enetered a forward one, because, like, that's the one I usually use. As he corrected me, he sighed a sigh redolent with despair. Given he was doing a software update for almost the whole office this way, he must have encountered muppets like me all day.
Anyway, is there some dead important technical difference? Like if you put a forward slash where there was supposed to be a back one you could open a wormhole in the internet and fall in?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: You're older than me. I am slightly surprised that you could have got to 35 without learning to drive. But I am sure that surprise is a product of my own prejudices, so I'll shut up now.
I'm 40 - Not a clue how to drive, never felt the need to.
Are you taking lessons Mart ?
I was thinking about it, but don't know if I can be arsed.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Anyway, is there some dead important technical difference? Like if you put a forward slash where there was supposed to be a back one you could open a wormhole in the internet and fall in?
well yes, to a computer it's a whole world of difference in the fact that, like, one does one thing and the other does something else. It's like me saying "fflksj;klfjnfwfndsnlfsajh" and just assuming it should mean something to you because, like, it's all letters and that's what real words are made from, right?
As a rule though, backslashes do local/networky filepath stuff while forward slashes do internet stuff and are often used in written english. It's not that hard to remember.
[ 22.02.2007, 10:56: Message edited by: Ringo ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Actually, a slightly techy one this, but why don't people know the difference between a back-slash and a forward-slash?
Because they don't need to. Any modern web browser or operating system will correct back-slashes to forward-slashes and vice versa. I find it annoying when television and radio programmes insist on mentioning it:
"Visit us online at bee bee sea dot co dot you kay forward slash weather!"
God, imagine if someone actually put in a back-slash instead. It would probably take them to a kiddie pron site, infect them with 10,000 viruses, and give them AIDS (via rape)!
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I am taking lessons, yes. I have to pass and buy a car or I get the sack from work.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: I am taking lessons, yes. I have to pass and buy a car or I get the sack from work.
Mart's gonna be the best taxi driver in Yorkshire.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Mart would you like to buy my Nissan? It's practical. Ish. Great first car. sort of.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Tell me more Ringo. Price, mileage, MOT, tax, all that shit.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
AH, no, sorry, I was kind of joking because it's a really big powerful coupe that'd be completely inappropriate for a new driver. Man, I feel like a twat now.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
He says it's a Nissan, which probably makes you think of this:
But it's actually more like this:
ETA: Yeh.
[ 22.02.2007, 11:14: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Stupid Ringo Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Mart! Do you want a Ford Ka, one safe lady owner, 43,000 miles, lovingly cared for through it's life by same mechanic (father-in-law), minor fag burn damage to parcel shelf?
Ta for the back/forward slash explanations. I feel knowledgeable. Well, slightly more knowledgeable than I did before.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Great little cars those, really fun to kick about even though they're not very powerful. Light and communicative chassis with good feel to the steering. Probably one of the best 'supermini' type cars on the road.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I agree. My parents have had two Kas and both have been very reliable. Ringo's right that they're also a lot of fun to drive.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
If it's dirt cheap, Louche, then yes I'm very interested.
[ 23.02.2007, 04:07: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Hey you over there what's it like to have no hair? Is it hot or is it cold I don't know cos I'm not bald
It's cold for the record, not to mention sore after I managed to slice a piece off while shaving it earlier, stupid razor Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Who'd have thought at 8 years old that a schoolyard ryhme would come back to haunt me. Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
mart! I have emailed you if you want to take your addresses down.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
Going back in the conversation a bit, but Eats, Shoots and Leaves says that a semicolon is used to link together two sentences that could be separate, but have something to do with eachother:
Physic was cold; it was because he'd shaved his head.
But a colon is used to say, and here is the reason! or Whoo!! Surprise me!! As in:
A strange, egg-like shape appeared from around the corner: it was Physic!
Hope that clears things up and doesn't make me an enemy for life.
Hey, it might: Physic could be my nemesis! He's bald, I've got massive hair! We're opposites!
EDIT: I should learn to spell Physic properly.
[ 23.02.2007, 04:17: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2:
Pysic was cold; it was because he'd shaved his head.
LOL.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Silver Ginger in another thread I was just showing off my incredibly knowledge of the area in a 200 yard radius of Brighton station really.
See, what SG does in this post, accidentally adds the letters 'l' and 'y' to the word incredible. I do that all the time. E.G: "That was the only colour I wanted. It had to be that particularly colour."
[ 23.02.2007, 05:46: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
The 'l' is already there. He simply replaces the 'e' with a 'y'
Different to your examply
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I don't believe there is any such thing as a 'proper' use of the semicolon. I've never come across a situation where it would be more appropriate than a colon, comma or hyphen.
Actually, a slightly techy one this, but why don't people know the difference between a back-slash and a forward-slash?
Because most of us don't have to, but it makes me titter whan I say the words out loud.
Yes. I know. Childish.
I know how to use the semi-colon though.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You've really burned me sam with your admission of chuckling at piss references and interest in the contents of ralphs arse. In light of this, if there are any newbies reading that feel pressured into bottling up their toilet habits, I hope that seeing Jonesy's commute crap reference and this reworking of Men Without Hats will make them aware that it's ok
We can parp if we want to We can leave your friends behind 'Cause if your friends don't dash the contents of their ass Well they're no friends of mine I say, we can go where we want to A place where the toilet seat's down And we can act like we poop and we don't give a hoot Leave the real one stinky and brown
We can go when we want to The night is young and so am I And we can doodie real neat from our head to our seat And surprise 'em with the victory cry Say, we can act if want to If we don't dump where we want And you can act real rude leave the handicap loo Looking, smelling like the dagobah swamp
I say, we can parp, we can parp Everything out of control We can trump, we can dump We're doing it from wall to wall We can trump, we can dump Everybody look at your hands You can blast, out your arse Everybody takin' the cha-a-a-ance
Safety dumps Is it safe to dump Is it safe to dump
We can brap if we want to We've got all your life and mine As long as we abuse it, never gonna lose it Everything'll work out right I say, we cut cheese if we want to 'Cause if your friends don't dash the contents of their ass Well they're no friends of mine
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2: t might: Physic could be my nemesis! He's bald, I've got massive hair! We're opposites!
Lol, but I can wear hats without fear of hat-hair, and go out in the wind/rain without worrying that my hairstyle will get ruined; there are plus points to having a more streamlined bonce Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
On a vaguely related note, I plan on streamlining my own head with a 'grade 3' this weekend. This if because I too suffer from hat-hair and would rather wear a hat and have no hair than have a cold head or messy hair when I get to work.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: On a vaguely related note, I plan on streamlining my own head with a 'grade 3' this weekend. This if because I too suffer from hat-hair and would rather wear a hat and have no hair than have a cold head or messy hair when I get to work.
Pah, grade 3 is practically long, the first time you take a razor and shave it properly bald is an immensely satisfying experience*.
* Provided you don't get careless and lop a bit off like some kind of cackhanded tosspot..
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I've gone for a 'noguard' before, but never an all over Bic job. I did Bic my mate's head for him once and a very good job I did too. Anyway, I just want hair out of the way, I don't want to look like a cancer patient. I look silly with no hair at all, my cranium is embarrasingly small.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic:
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2: t might: Physic could be my nemesis! He's bald, I've got massive hair! We're opposites!
Lol, but I can wear hats without fear of hat-hair, and go out in the wind/rain without worrying that my hairstyle will get ruined; there are plus points to having a more streamlined bonce
Nyah, shit!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Just read a letter from my son's Cub Scout leader about the theme for this evening's meeting. Apparently they're having a visit from some "birds of pray".
Be interesting to find out what their first impression of nuns is I suppose.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Be interesting to find out what their first impression of nuns is I suppose.
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
That one still makes me cringe now... ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
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![[Cool]](cool.gif)
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