If you could be any kind of War Criminal what kind of War Criminal would you be?
PF
A spy.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
War crimes are defined in the statute that established the International Criminal Court, which includes:
Grave breaches of the Geneva Conventions, such as:
Willful killing, or causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health
Torture or inhumane treatment
Unlawful wanton destruction or appropriation of property
Forcing a prisoner of war to serve in the forces of a hostile power
Depriving a prisoner of war of a fair trial
Unlawful deportation, confinement or transfer
Taking hostages
The following acts as part of an international conflict:
Directing attacks against civilians
Directing attacks against humanitarian workers or UN peacekeepers
Killing a surrendered combatant
Misusing a flag of truce
Settlement of occupied territory
Deportation of inhabitants of occupied territory
Using poison weapons
Using civilian shields
Using child soldiers
The following acts as part of a non-international conflict:
Murder, cruel or degrading treatment and torture
Directing attacks against civilians, humanitarian workers or UN peacekeepers
Taking hostages
Summary execution
Pillage
Rape, sexual slavery, forced prostitution or forced pregnancy
I'd be up for a bit of pillage.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Or using a poisoned weapon. I like the sound of that. The sort of thing that Hal and Roger used to come up against in the Adventure seies. Nasty, darko natives with poison tipped arrows. Perchink, one shot in the leg and you're dead as a dodo five minutes later.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I'm up for unlawful wanton destruction. 'Wanton' is surely one of the best adjectives in the English language. Also, misusing a flag of truce sounds intriguing.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Actually, with all those rules, there's not really any point having a war in the first place, is there? Honestly. Stupid war crimes tribunal.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I'd be up for using child soldiers. Given that these days everyone's terrified of children marshalling an army of hooded kids and setting them loose on the UK would be a complete cake walk. Civilian shields, too. I mean come on - it's war. So hiding behind the sobbing wives and dauaghters of your enemy is going to be a winning tactic, you can't go fannying about with trying to follow the rules. It's not a game of Monopoly it's fucking war. Also, while I've got the wives and daughters on site... I mean whether I like to admit it or not, it's probably not going to be long before Warlord Bleak starts to consider moving into sexual slavery market. I mean, if I was mounting some kind of coup against civilisation that was probably my motivation in the first place. Mmm. concubines.
Posted by Carter (Member # 426) on :
PEASE NOT HAMBURGER HILL. BOBO BACK HURT FWOM ALL BOBO GUNS.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I'm up for unlawful wanton destruction. 'Wanton' is surely one of the best adjectives in the English language. Also, misusing a flag of truce sounds intriguing.
That would be good. Waving the flag of truce and waiting for the soldiers to walk over and take you prisoner. Then gunning the fuckers down when they got close while standing there saying 'lol'.
[ 16.03.2007, 07:52: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: War crimes are defined in the statute that established the International Criminal Court, which includes:
Grave breaches of the Geneva Conventions, such as:
Willful killing, or causing great suffering or serious injury to body or health
Torture or inhumane treatment
Unlawful wanton destruction or appropriation of property
Forcing a prisoner of war to serve in the forces of a hostile power
Depriving a prisoner of war of a fair trial
Unlawful deportation, confinement or transfer
Taking hostages
The following acts as part of an international conflict:
Directing attacks against civilians
Directing attacks against humanitarian workers or UN peacekeepers
Killing a surrendered combatant
Misusing a flag of truce
Settlement of occupied territory
Deportation of inhabitants of occupied territory
Using poison weapons
Using civilian shields
Using child soldiers
The following acts as part of a non-international conflict:
Murder, cruel or degrading treatment and torture
Directing attacks against civilians, humanitarian workers or UN peacekeepers
Taking hostages
Summary execution
Pillage
Rape, sexual slavery, forced prostitution or forced pregnancy
What that list does, essentially, is strip war of everything that's fun.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
If these UN folk aren't careful, they're going to put people off having wars altogether.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Or using a poisoned weapon. I like the sound of that. The sort of thing that Hal and Roger used to come up against in the Adventure seies. Nasty, darko natives with poison tipped arrows. Perchink, one shot in the leg and you're dead as a dodo five minutes later.
I used to read these as a kid, absolutely loved them, and in a fit of nostalgia about a year ago I bought Amazon Adventure off an eBay trader. It somehow completely failed to grip me, and is still on my bookcase of unread books in my bedroom. Unfortunately this bookcase has done the usual thing of becoming unnoticed, so I'm never making inroads on three shelves of books that I've bought but never completed.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Sometimes when H1ppychick talks about her home, I get depressed.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
through unfulfilled aspiration obviously, not pity...
Posted by Carter (Member # 426) on :
I'm not sure why there's such a downer on child soldiers. The last time I went paintballing, the oppo were a bunch of fat plebs who went every week and had their own "markers" (call them paint guns ffs, that's what they are), and a bunch of ten-year-olds at a birthday party.
We got whipped. It was like going up against a whole load of Kurtzs and shadowy little ninjas, who had freak inner ears, low centres of gravity, and were crucially not hung over. In summary - children rock at combat.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: through unfulfilled aspiration obviously, not pity...
I dunno. Sometimes it just seems like you fill your house with monuments to disappointment - a big TV that diminishes everytime you look at it, three shelves showcasing books you started and never got round to reading. Stuff like that. I'm sure you're happy though.
[ 16.03.2007, 08:16: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
lol, all it means is that i am a hoarder, there's nothing 'monumental' about having these books knocking about, i'm not exactly suicidal over the fact that i haven't got round to reading them yet because something else took my fancy at the time i was finishing a read and starting another.
ditto the tv - i'm very happy with it, thanks very much. i've had it for 4 years now and it's perfectly sized for the room. you took something i said which was along the lines of "fuck me when i bought it i thought it was enormous and we couldn't get it up the stairs and now it's part of the fixtures i don't remark on the size any more", and for some reason this has really stuck in your memory as some sort of marker for a general consumerist dissatisfaction on my part.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Everything sticks in my memory. It's horrible in here.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Carter: I'm not sure why there's such a downer on child soldiers. The last time I went paintballing, the oppo were a bunch of fat plebs who went every week and had their own "markers" (call them paint guns ffs, that's what they are), and a bunch of ten-year-olds at a birthday party.
We got whipped. It was like going up against a whole load of Kurtzs and shadowy little ninjas, who had freak inner ears, low centres of gravity, and were crucially not hung over. In summary - children rock at combat.
Ha! Not the lot who were present when we (a group of mid twenties to early forties men) went paintballing: they were sitting ducks.
Best bit was when I stormed a hut and wasted three of them in a matter of seconds at point blank range. It was like the bit in Apocalypse Now where Larry Fisburn shoots up the Vietnamese boat. Except that I wasn't sorry. Learnt some pretty unpleasant truths about myself that day, let me tell you.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'd love to go paintballing. I tried to organize it for my birthday a year or so ago, but it turned out that I didn't have any friends. What about TMO paintballing? I mean, in place of real friends?
[ 16.03.2007, 10:50: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
TMO paintballing would be unspeakable carnage, wouldn't it?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
*narrows eyes* I'd love to go painballing with TMO.
eta - gah, post ruined by BigNuts edit
[ 16.03.2007, 10:51: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I've never been paintballing, though, so I'm hardly the person to judge whether it would be carnage or otherwise.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: painballing
Freudian? I think not.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
That would be a lot of fun.
Is it, y'know, expensive?
[ 16.03.2007, 10:53: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I'd rather go karting, but I suppose at a pinch I wouldn't mind running around in the woods playing army.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I think that it would get quite nasty.
So let's do it.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
in the summer, followed by a long and boozy barbecue...
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
bagsy being in a team with IAN.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
I think every cunt who ever posted on TMO is now back, so what better time to take them into a field and shoot them.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
lol.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I've told this story before, but I doubt if anyone read it (except Thorn) so:
Last time I went paintballing I got shot up at the end by someone trying to use up his left over paintballs. You have to wear masks and overalls so you can't see any exposed skin and you can only recognise your own team or the enemy by your coloured armbands. So, anyway, this guy was wearing a brown armband and kept firing at me when I was hit, so I shouted at him, "Alright! I'm fucking dead! Stop shooting at me you brown cunt!"
Obviously, once we got out into the safe area and took our masks off, turned out he actually was a brown gentleman. FFS.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
lol ol
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
"Sheeeee-it! Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
That reminds me vaguely of last weekend, when I was in Cardiff. Me and a colleague were in the hotel pool in the evening, having a little swim to unwind, and we get chatting as we're floating around, talking about how stressful it all was. He's got his back to the door. As we're talking, some dark-skinned fellow comes out of the changing room and gets into the pool more or less noiselessly. Cue my colleague, without realising the black chap was behind him saying "hey, I suppose if we were both Jamaican we'd be like 'heyyy mon, norr prublum, cheeeeell weeth eet!' ahhaahaha!!" while I just sort of cringed. The darkie glared at him a goodun and left shortly afterwards. It was an unfortunate incident for all involved.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I'm trying to work out appropriate TMO teams which would ensure that people were pitched against those they might have disagreed with. But with 4 years of frum history, it's a bit difficult. That and I mostly like everyone now and wouldn't want to hurt them.
I might just watch. Painball voyeur.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: darkie
fucking hell Ringo
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Let's not attack racism with racism!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I had no idea that Ringo was one of them.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
It's metaracism, it's all the rage.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
come on Ralph, we're all racist in England. It's all part of being proud.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
quote:Originally posted by Carter: In summary - children rock at combat.
Why not have all wars fought by children - it'd end the obesity pandemic and would get them off their arses. Adults could watch in a mini-pops style show.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball:
quote:Originally posted by Carter: In summary - children rock at combat.
Why not have all wars fought by children - it'd end the obesity pandemic and would get them off their arses. Adults could watch in a mini-pops style show.
This isn't a bad idea. It'd be a real leveller. You could buy your kid the best assault rifle on the market, send him to summer training camps and after school clubs, but he could still be taken out by a four-eyed, poor kid with an iffy mortar.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
I wouldn't mind going on a paint ball excursion. Although, I've heard getting hit with one hurts like a bitch. Might need protective gear.
I also would like to go to this gun range up in the Pocono Mountains. They let you fire a bunch of different guns (giant guns, handguns, shotguns, etc). Friends of mine went and said it was loads of fun. It may sound crazy, but firing a gun is fun...I once killed a pumpkin with a shotgun. I could never go hunting though, ugh.
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: That would be a lot of fun.
Is it, y'know, expensive?
It it is so much fun and not really that expensive.
We went to Campaign in Effingham. It was £10 initially for the day and then however much money you spend on the day for paint. I got 500 paintballs for £50. But it depends on how trigger happy you are as to how much you spend. We had 8 games spread out over the course of the day with different tasks and terrain. You get given rather fetching camouflage boilersuits too.
