What is it about watching films on planes? What is it in the altitudes that makes you think that the worst of films are the best of films?
For example, my best mate watched Big Fish on a flight, cried, and called it a powerful film about the difficulty that men have in showing love to their fathers or sons.
I watched Pitch Black 2 three times! And stand by my review that it was a fantastically crafted and brilliantly atmospheric sci-fi movie on a par with the Dune novels.
I doubt either of us will watch the films at 0 feet.
So, TMO, any examples of shite that you loved up up and away?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I've never seen a movie on a flight. I watched Batfink on a laptop on the train to Dundee, once. It was pretty good.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
When I went to New York last month with Virgin Atlantic, they have these console things with miniscreens on the back of the seat in front, and you basically have movies/TV/games/tour guides etc etc on demand.
I watched Stranger Than Fiction and a couple of episodes of Blackadder, kicked everyone else's collective asses on the General Knowledge quiz (some randoms identified on the screen by seat number) on the way out, then watched half of Casino Royale on the way back (tried to sleep thereafter).
It was well cool.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Flying to Cuba for our honeymoon, we were subjected to Charlie's Angels Full Throttle, 2 Fast 2 Furious and Calendar Girls - screened three times each.
We were on that flight for eight hours - they could have shown us most of the plays from Shakespeare's War of the Roses cycle, ffs. Not everyone would have liked it but, you know, not everyone 'likes' Charlie's fucking Angels.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Nobody with a mental age greater than 10 'likes' Charlie's Angels. I think it's like the oxygen masks thing. In the event of a catastrauphic problem with the plane, rather than panic and chaos, you calmly accept, even welcome, your own death.
Casino Royale is good up until about 3/5s of the way through, then it all gets a bit crappy.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I don't recall ever seeing a decent film on a plane. On the way to and from Canada, and on an internal flight I was subjected to The Devil Wears Prada and The Da Vinci Code- which I would have had to pay for the privelege of watching, as I was flying pleb class.
Flights are what Lee Child and detective novels were invented for.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
You wanted some muthafucking Shakespeare on your muthafucking plane.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Have I ever told you about the girl who kissed me on a plane, in her sleep? I have, haven't I. Never mind.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
did you piss yourself after she kissed you?
[ 21.05.2007, 12:02: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
A friend of mine gave the bloke next to her - a stranger - a blow job on a plane, under a blanket. Right discreet.
There had better be some decent films on the flight to LA, or there'll be hell to pay. And by 'decent', I mean with a plot and visuals that aren't rendered impossible to follow by being on a match-box sized screen on the back of a seat occupied by an epileptic AHDD sufferer.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
lol
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: A friend of mine gave the bloke next to her - a stranger - a blow job on a plane, under a blanket. Right discreet.
How did this happen - did he... just ask? Or was she in a kind of easygoing mood and just thought 'what the hey'...?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
You know how it is... travelling alone... you get chatting, the wine's flowing, the film's boring. One thing leads to another...
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
your friend is a slut.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
in a good way I mean.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
She was certainly going through a sluttish phase, it's true. Though you can't say I didn't try to educate her. When she was leaving the office to go on a first date she asked for a last-minute piece of advice. "Never do it doggy-style on the first date," I said. And she didn't. Wise words.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
That dude must have not believed his luck.
[ 21.05.2007, 12:43: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
there's a bit in emmanuelle where she does a business dude in a plane. In the book it's like three dudes. It's hot.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 21.05.2007, 13:32: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I can't believe he wouldn't even give you his phone number afterwards, Vikram. What awful ingratitude.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: A friend of mine gave the bloke next to her - a stranger - a blow job on a plane, under a blanket. Right discreet.
What do you do afterwards in that kind of situation? Make polite conversation for the rest of the flight...hold hands? Could be awkward. Pretend to be asleep I guess?
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
From the man's point of view, go immediately to sleep, preferably snoring loudly.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Walk up and down the aisle telling everyone what just happened, and getting high-fives.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Or just look really happy
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
start screaming at her.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Go and sit somewhere else and cry with disgust.
I'm not sure what she did. Maybe it was timed so that it was just over as the plane pulled up to the terminal, and she could leap up and get her bag from the overhead locker. Shall I ask her?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
maybe she pretended like it was an accident like whoops I dropped my thing there, on the floor I better just, oh dear! oh now, how did that happen I'm so sorry let mef phmm mpph mmpphhhh pmmhh
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: Shall I ask her?
Please do. This is an incident worthy of a more detailed report.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
It might not be entirely appropriate. I haven't actually seen her for about two years, so as an opening conversational gambit, 'my internet friends want to know what you did after giving that bloke a blow-job on the plane' is quite, er, daring.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
The thing is, would you believe someone if they told you they'd received such attention during a flight?
Clearly, we're all believing the girl- why would she lie?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I remember a friend telling me he was at a party and his mate had got off with an especially pretty girl and they were sat next to him snogging while he was feeling very sorry for himself. But then she reached over, stuck her hand down his trousers and started wanking him off. Which was a lovely thing to do.
I guess some girls just have an admirable desire to perform acts of great kindness.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
If I was a girl I'd be giving out blow jobs left right and centre, just for the fun of it.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
....and hand jobs. I'd be like "Alright?" *hand job*.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Does it make any better to know that she had been talking to him for most of the flight, before making a lunge fly-wards?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: If I was a girl I'd be giving out blow jobs left right and centre, just for the fun of it.
lolol.
[ 22.05.2007, 06:52: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
On a plane I'd be like "Alright?, mind if I.. *mimes blow job by moving hand up and down and simutaneously poking tongue in cheek* Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
this thread has taken a turn for the LOL'ds
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: On a plane I'd be like "Alright?, mind if I.. *mimes blow job by moving hand up and down and simutaneously poking tongue in cheek*
Yeah, that's it. You little bitch.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: On a plane I'd be like "Alright?, mind if I.. *mimes blow job by moving hand up and down and simutaneously poking tongue in cheek*
You are Bunny Lebowski and I claim my five pounds.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: If I was a girl I'd be giving out blow jobs left right and centre, just for the fun of it.
You don't have to be a girl you know? ...Blowjob-meat anyone?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Will there be muff-diving?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
It's only fair. Equal rights and all that.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
god you lot have short memories - don't forget that science has proved beyond a shadow of a doubt that cunnilingus causes spots or cancer or something.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Sexist! Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Does it make any better to know that she had been talking to him for most of the flight, before making a lunge fly-wards?
I guess it was the least she could do in that case. Nothing worse than someone droning on at you for hours on end.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
it came from a lady scientist, and their science is best.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
What about analingus?
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
the mouth's dirty than the arse, so should be fine.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: the mouth's dirty than the arse, so should be fine.
*Mimes wiping sweat from brow Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: What about analingus?
I don't think there's really time for a movie on the flight to Dublin.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I guess Plane-a-lingus would be quite difficult to achieve, logistically. It certainly wouldn't be as subtle or easy to hide as a good old-fashioned 'blowie'.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Does it make any better to know that she had been talking to him for most of the flight, before making a lunge fly-wards?
It's true that women can sometimes be talked into this sort of thing. You can't just come out and ask, though - better to cunnningly weave it into the conversation and gauge how receptive she is to the idea.
If this forum were Fight Club I would give out Project Mayhem assignments to Dang, Tilde and Miscellaneous Files to see if they could pull this sort of thing off on, say, a National Express journey to somewhere within the UK in the next week.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
National Express is out as I don't want to catch something horrible.
However, the regular delays to the 18:01 First Great Western service from Reading could provide an excellent opportunity, especially if the train is filled with students from the art school. Everyone knows art students are pure filth, plus a portfolio would make a handy improvised privacy screen.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
It'd be more entertaining if pilots did loops and barrel rolls during journeys.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I got a blow job on a rail replacement bus service once. It seemed quite daring and glamourous at the time, but really it was just seedy and desperate, like something you'd hear in the lyrics to a Pulp song.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: a rail replacement bus service
lol - pure Jarvis.
I liked your perfume but still felt rather nervous / You took me between your cherry-red lips / It was a rail replacement bus service / Al-right! Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I gave a boy a blowjob on a bus once. It wasn't Nathan, because it wasn't a rail replacement bus. In fact, it was a 362 out of Wigan bus station, on a cold and rainy day and we were on the top deck on the back seat and the windows were all grey and rain smeared and the only other person on the top deck was sat on the front seat and staring blankly out of the smear windows.
I bottled on the swallowing at the last minute though and moved away so he jizzed all over the back of the seat in front. We spent the remainder of the journey, a good half hour to sixth form college, watching globdules of glistening jism dribble their way down the seat to pool, cogaulated, on the grimy floor. Smoking regal king size (you could still smoke on buses back then, in those old enlightened times), lit with matches. Just writing that I can taste semen and fag smoke and smell match-sulpher.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
*applause*
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
*desky*
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I was given a blow job in a tree once. In Ashton Court Park in Bristol. It was a hollow tree, of the kind a fugitive king might hide in. I certainly felt like royalty that day anyway. I think if I was a fugitive king then however fast I was fleeing I would always take along someone who could give me a blow job whenever we hid in a tree. Or insist that one was supplied by the local royalist supporter who was hiding me. I think I'd make a fairly good king all told. I wouldn't force them to swallow or anything. In fact, I'd carry a small silver box with the royal crest engraved in it in which to store the royal seed until such a time as I was restored to the throne.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
More public blowjob stories please.
I'm almost there...
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Can't remember if I've posted this here previously, but anyway... An ex of mine was very 'adventurous' when it came to sex. So much so that once, whilst fishing for carp in Lymm, she decided to give me a blow-job on the bank. We were lay down in a fairly secluded spot, behind a large church and a gigantic oak tree. I was astounded when she started undoing her bra and promptly began wanking off my rapidly-stiffening hard-on. She then decided that a nice blow-job was the order of the day. In the meantime I noticed that there were several carp anglers on the opposite bank - a good 200 yards away, but this didn't deter her in the least.
Several minutes later I felt the orgasm approaching and she expertly aimed my cock at her large tits. Suddenly, as the jizz started spraying on her, one of my bite alarms went off, so I spun around quickly and struck, the jizz still dripping into the water, my shorts still down at my ankles. Unfortunately it was a bream that had taken the bait, not a carp. On the plus side, it must have been a fairly interesting spectacle for the fishermen opposite.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Thanks Zygote. That did the trick. Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
man, every time zygote writes about sex it's like a letter to razzle.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Do you want her number, Misc? Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: Do you want her number, Misc?
Nah, I'm good. In fact the end of the story was a bit of a let down. Climax occurred just after I read this part:
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: An ex of mine was very 'adventurous' when it came to sex. So much so that once, whilst fishing for carp in Lymm...
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: man, every time zygote writes about sex it's like a letter to razzle.
It reminds me a bit of Keith Talent talking about football.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I posted a more detailed and gushing account of that afternoon on the 'Fishing Warehouse' forums some time last year.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I bottled on the swallowing at the last minute though and moved away so he jizzed all over the back of the seat in front. We spent the remainder of the journey, a good half hour to sixth form college, watching globdules of glistening jism dribble their way down the seat to pool, cogaulated, on the grimy floor.
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