Right so. Personal details are unimportant - oh alright, it's Benway - no wait, it's not - anyway, the thing is, right... There's this person who I happen to know from personal experience is absolutely fucking precociously awesome in bed, and also happens to be pretty much the most beautiful person I have ever seen. However due to certain obstacles this person and I need to be friends rather than anything else. How can I crush my lust for this person into a tiny ball and then eliminate it altogether by punching it with my fist and or setting fire to it with my sister's Zippo lighter or something? Because right now the prospect of just being friends with awesome gorgeous person is like putting bangers and mash in front of a starving man and telling him he can hang out with the food but he's not allowed to eat. Indeed is it even possible to be 'friends' with someone if you fancy them TO DEATH? I do not think it is. Do you?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
wow this thread's really gay. shall i delete it.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
No wait. So you want to fuck someone and you are not suppose to. Is that it?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Allow yourself one more fuck and then, at the point of climax, shit yourself.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
London, we all feel that way about Benway. You just have to deal with it the way the rest of us do. One day at a time.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
It's just so difficult. Posted by Dedalus (Member # 892) on :
What are the reasons you can't get more carnal with him? Is he / you spoken for or something?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Indeed is it even possible to be 'friends' with someone if you fancy them TO DEATH?
No. No, it's not. Sorry.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Yes, London. It's difficult for us to dispense sound advice without knowing all the facts.
ETA: Unless you're Louche.
[ 26.10.2006, 06:52: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
We agreed we wouldn't take this to the boards. Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
ooh i'm in a similar situation right now. IT FUCKING SUCKS.
sorry, that wasn't very helpful. if i knew, then you know, i'd be happy for once. good luck! don't go too crazy! benway isn't that great!
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dedalus: What are the reasons you can't get more carnal with him? Is he / you spoken for or something?
He's 12. Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
well,it was only a matter of time...
Posted by Dedalus (Member # 892) on :
Behave yourself, London.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
you've shagged him already but suddenly have qualms about an age difference? for shame.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You need to be rational about this London. If you don't shag him, somebody else will get to. By god you don't want that do you, what with him being a fanny-gymnast and all that.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: a fanny-gymnast
A cuntortionist, if you will...
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: You need to be rational about this London. If you don't shag him, somebody else will get to. By god you don't want that do you, what with him being a fanny-gymnast and all that.
D-do you think I should kill him? I've been thinking the same thing.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Age will do that. He'll be a lethargic blob soon enough.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
Welcome amp! enjoy yor stay
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
TMO is excellent isn't it? Not only have you a new name for The Cuntortionist, but you know to shag, shit on and shoot him before he gets old/fat/legal.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
How about a bit of old-fashioned aversion therapy? Procure some mini-crocodile clips, attach via wires to a car battery, attach the clips to your most tender areas, and look at a photograph of the love object while completing the circuit. Worth a try, surely...
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
A lo fi version of that is to put an elastic band round your wrist, and every time you think of that person, you snap it against your wrist. More portable.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
alternatively, shag him.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Shag him, while attached to the car battery.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: alternatively, shag him.
If I was to suggest to say Benway, that he should shag a twelve year old girl, you'd have me murdered. Double standard!
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Is it a really really good reason why you should't shag him?
A bit of ...ooh no, I mustn't..must resist... can often be a fun prelude to doing it anyway. So. Go for it.
I cant think of a good way of stopping fancying someone if you see them about all the time. If thay are actually any good that is...obviously if you are just a bit rabid or on drugs at the moment he may turn out to ming after a while? Maybe it is the Zyban?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
lol, I just watched the Altered Images video of I Could Be Happy and it would be a complete wet dream for Amp.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Shag somebody else. A lot. Why waste all that sexual energy?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Have you shagged the Cuntortionist again yet, Amp?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Yeah but then we had a big row because he was being all emo so I called him a 'fucking goth' and now we're not really speaking anyway. Moral of story: do not call beautiful 20-year-old emo boys 'fucking goths', even if they are totally behaving like it and it is the absolutle one hundred per cent stone cold truth.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
if i knew what the obstacles were i would try to help or at least give you bad advice
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm just asking because I'm currently in some kind of negotiations scenario of information that maybe not getting involved with might not be a bad idea. You know, hassle free.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I do not understand the above post.
Posted by Dedalus (Member # 892) on :
I think you need to rearrange the words or something.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Don't worry, I was not thinking when I wrote that. It's ok, I've just done got myself in a scrape by near-fucking my friend and I was having an email mexican standoff as to who was going to say something first.
I managed to get her to start it though so I win.
Sex/relations/emotions is about winning isn't it?
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)