WE ALL PRACTICE fitness in our different ways, don't we. But how much do you do?
And do you feel better for it?
Luke: I...I thought I was in shape!
Yoda: By whose standards, ask I!
Gang!
I REMEMBER THE days when Omnikin used to ask me round his house -- and how I'd sneak an admiring glance at his racks of heavy weights! Stripping off a trendy tee just slowly enough to be socially acceptable, he would deliberately get it caught for a few seconds as it went over his head -- allowing me precious moments to envy his sculpted torso.
Fitness!
THAT'S WHAT IT'S all about these days, isn't it? I caught London's column on here recently and found her putting forward the provocative argument that "dopamine", that's the chemical released thru exercise, was the new drug of choice for society gals in their 30s! Carter frequently finds himself unable to post more than a few words because his arms are trembling from Heavy Weights. Teflon, we hear, plays regular rugby! Physic wrestles! Stefanos fights! Thorn puts his wrists through marathon sessions playing "computer games".
WE ALL PRACTICE fitness in our different ways, don't we. But how much do you do? And do you feel better for it?
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
LIKE LUKE, I thought I wasn't entirely unfit. Since espying myself in the full-length mirror of a Llandudno boarding-house in August 2002, and realising I looked like the prime catch in a 1930s Geo Orwell essay on "The Worst English Beach-Goers" -- fat yet skinny, palely bulging and whitely puny at once, missing only the knotted handkerchief on my nog that would have made me suited to a saucy picture postcard of the henpecked hubby -- since that point I have taken more action to take care of my physique, thru diet and exercise.
NOT TO EXTREMES, of course -- my main powers lie in the mind! But mens sana in corpore sano, &c. I generally do 20 mins with what are probably Light Weights (15lb barbells) and "Floor Work" every morning. Plus an hour of Football once a week, and on another day of the week, 45 mins of Dance Aerobics from a DVD.
NOT A GREAT deal, but I assume it's rather better than nothing, and my body certainly doesn't look as repugnant.
HOWEVER, TODAY I went to Boxaerobics and was put through H__l by a pro fighter down in Crofton Park for an hour -- after the first 15 minutes I thought my heart was going to chest-burst like in Alien, and I only got a tiny bit of respite because I simply cannot skip, and so fumbled lamely with a rope during that session.
BACK AT HOME I felt like a bag of biscuits in one of those recipes where you put the biscuits in a bag and beat them with a rolling pin.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
SO I AM clearly facing a new challenge. But at least I did it, for an hour.
your turn! don't make me feel really bad, but are you a lot fitter than me? or, by some merciful chance, are you less fit?
I'm pretty far from anything that could be described as fit. Sure under the slick layer of blubber, I've got muscles but they don't really do much other than look vaguely pretty when I flex them. And even then it's only in the best possible light and I'll never take my t-shirt off in company. And if I do that, and look in the mirror, I'm saddened by what I see. The worst is looking into the mirror completely naked. Years of wearing jeans with non-elastic waistbands, has sculpted the fat into a permanent overhang, retaining the shape of the trousers even after they've been taken off.
So yes, I have some issues with body image. I have these kind of fat man breasts that are hairy and wobble if I move too fast. Across the top of my stomach is a horizontal red line where I sit in a chair and my beer gut creases along the top. My ass.... well I wont even begin to describe my ass, such is the torment I'm sure I'v already put you through.
But all is not lost. For with a little reduction in my usual shit food intake (involving cutting out crisps and chocolate bars) and trying to reduce my carbs a bit and eat more protien and vits and suchlike, it does seem as if I'm actually getting slightly healthier. Actually, I'm not even bothered about looking healthy. I'm consumed by a narcisistic desire to look good. I don't give a fuck if I can't run a marathon, so long as I look good naked.
eople, fitness people, have always told me I've got a fantastic frame. I'm not totally sure what that means. They say things about me being broad and having a solid bone structure. They say that if I started doing cardio stuff, the fat would disappear and my muscles would tighten and become like steel cables under my skin, and that's all well and good but I can't afford to go to a gym. My mates are all fucking useless and have no desire to do anything remotely energetic (by the time we've actually decided on some sporty passtime, it's far too late to do it) so what am I left with?
Well I guess I'm left with my work and my life in general. You see it's not like I don't have the chance to do anything at all. My job involves lots of walking and carrying etc etc and that all adds up. When I go to the shops, I could easily walk rather than jump in the car. If I wanted to be a total spod, I could buy some gay dance workout vid like Kovacs. So my options aren't totally limited and my diet can be improved.
So why, when I can sit here and type this all out in the space of ten minutes, can't I actually do any of it?
I'm seriously interested and if anyone knows the solution, I'd love to hear it.
quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
Across the top of my stomach is a horizontal red line where I sit in a chair and my beer gut creases along the top.
Ooh, I get that. I feel all gay from recognition. But I suspect I just have terrible posture rather than a huge gut -- it's more like a deflated pushbike inner tube, disgusting to me but not technically huge.
quote:
If I wanted to be a total spod, I could buy some gay dance workout vid like Kovacs.I'm seriously interested and if anyone knows the solution, I'd love to hear it.
I think you just provided the solution yourself...friend.
THANKS FOR REPLYING!
I'm sorry, I'll let your thread get some proper replies before I go and spoil it all for you..
The hardest part is the first few weeks, when your body aches as it adapts to the new regime and you haven't yet seen many results. Once you first start to notice results it makes an enormous difference, and suddenly motivation isn't nearly as hard to come by.
Speaking personally I'm not as fit as I used to be, as I've mentioned previously my back problems rather restrict what I can get away with these days, but I'm still stronger than most of my friends and although I have a slight beer gut, I certainly don't hide from the mirror. Up until a couple of years ago I used to be pretty fit, gym 3 times a week and the occasional game of football, I didn't have a beer-gut and was apparently "f*cking huge" (a friend's words). Takes a fair amount of dedication to get a 'ripped' physique, not just hard work in the gym but discipline in your diet, to get the 'chiselled' look you need low bodyfat, something I've never managed, largely due to a love of beer.
Like I say, motivation is the key, if you can get a friend to go with you and have set times to go it makes it a lot easier, it's less embarassing to make excuses to yourself than to make them to a friend...
I sometimes wonder if I suffer from hyperhydrosis (excessive sweating), but I have to remember that I live somewhere excruciatingly hot in summer, and am terribly unfit. Either way, I seem to sweat more than anyone else I know, to the extent that I can soak a shirt in a matter of seconds if I'm not careful. This is not attractive. Neither is my considerable beer belly (which is called Humphrey, for reasons lost in the "mists of time"). It's a shame, because I'm sure that if I did something about it all, well, I'd look considerably more attractive, though whether I'd actually be "happier" is something I'm not sure about. Vanity or health? I don't know.
I remember Modge saying something once about beer being a serious contributor to the (it sounds obvious but I'd never thought about it before) beer belly, and I have recently cut down on the cervezas to the extent that, while not looking any different, I feel a lot less bloated most of the time.
To sum up: I am very, very unfit, and have a gut, and am aware of both quite a lot of the time.
I also have ginger hair, but there's nothing I can do about that.
However, since I took the decision to cut down on beer and do a few isometric type thingies, I feel better about the way my body looks.
I did surprise myself by a recent display of mad rowing (3 minutes sustained, on one of those cool rowing machines) where I still whupped the ass of many fitter people than myself, but fuck me, I felt like my legs were going to fall off and spots were flashing before my eyes. Not generally a good indication of fitness.
That changes this summer.
25, an ex-smoker (7 years - gave up in Feb) and I'm in the process of trying to get myself fitter....
After giving up smoking I found my shapely bits were getting a bit more shapely than I was actually happy with. My favourite chipie jeans no longer fitted and that was the trigger...
So I've tried to alter my diet. I eat as much veg as possible and have almost completely given up on processed convenience food.
I did a 3 week stint of exercise - aquaerobics 3 times a week and cycling on days when I wasnt at the pool. But alas it was shortlived. I just havent got the internal 'get up and go' motivation to do that much exercise and have been making excuses left right and centre for the last 3 weeks.
However, due to the diet change, my favourite jeans fit lovely and until my motivation perks up again thats enough for me
Fitness wise, I started going to the gym three times a week last October, and I can now, with a clear conscience, describe some parts of my body as being "lean" and "toned" - my limbs - though my tummy is still defiantly squishy and soft, despite a concerted campaign of sit ups and crunches and the like. I do think it might have shrunk a little, though. I also walk for about an hour a day, to and from work, and in recent months I've felt a lot more sprightly.
Although it is nice to be able to wear sleeveless tops and shorter skirts without worrying about rolls of fat bouncing around in full view, the main reason I exercise is so that I can eat what I like, and don't have to spend every day in an obsessive mess about it. Food is right up there in my "top five best things about being alive" list; indeed, in a quiz in "web" a while back, I think I said I'd rather go without good sex than good food. So. If I didn't go to the gym, I'd probably weigh about 20 stone by now.
quote:
Originally posted by Bob:
So am I fitter than you?
Dunno, you'd probably run faster than me.
Probably not. I was only ever any good at 100 and 200 metres and I'm pretty terrible at running now.
Re. exercise, my "gut" feeling would be that it's better to pick a routine you can reasonably stick to even when you don't want to, ie. to be modest about it rather than totally changing your lifestyle. So my 45 mins gay DVD and now my 1 hour boxaerobics may not have a huge effect, but at least I have been able to keep that commitment: I have been doing the former for 8 months once a week, which to my mind is better than doing it 5 times a week for January only. (Erm. Do the math! I might be wrong.)
Re. diet, I know a fellow who has slimmed down from huge to large through eating just fish and steaks, without potatoes and pasta. I presume this is cutting out "carbs". Sounds expensive and slightly inconvenient, but also quite pleasant. I have been following the Modge diet of trying to eat what a slim and fit girl eats every day.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Bob ]
quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
dude you brought it upon yourself. my mind caught this image of you in some sort of pink lycra leotard thing, with white sweatbands on the wrists and forehead, doing some sort of dancerobics thang, with little pink dumbells... how could this image be gayer, even if you had a little steroidal acorn penis bulge in your pink jumpsuit?
What if I had bells on the wristbands?
Pre-uni, I used to play squash for about three or four hours a week. Kept that up for around 3 years. At university I did fuck all exercise, and took up smoking and began drinking heavily. Ate mountains of pasta and pizza. Got fat.
Post-uni, went to the gym three times a week for about two years. Initially this was because I was living at home, and my dad bullied me into it. When i got this job, and moved away from home I immediately joined a gym so I'd have something to do in the evenings when I wasn't in the pub. I used to go around three times a week. That petered out when I started going out with Lisa, and came to an end completely when I bought a PC. Since then (about two and a half years) I haven't done any regular exercise, and am getting fat again.
I'm not sure I notice the difference on a day to day basis. The sudden, suffocating bouts of morose depression were as frequent in my 'exercise' days as they are now, as is the feeling of lethargy and the slow sinking feeling of my dreams and aspirations, withering, growing mould and turning into a flaking, choking dust has been an undercurrent for as far back as I can remember. I've got more money, since I've cancelled my gym membership meaning I can take Rose to the proms and stuff like that. She says she prefers me with a little more weight around the midriff, too. Plus, I shake less, making it less obvious when I'm nervous, which used to be a big problem for me. It's like the extra weight has slowed me down a little to normal speed.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:the main reason I exercise is so that I can eat what I like, and don't have to spend every day in an obsessive mess about it. Food is right up there in my "top five best things about being alive" list; indeed, in a quiz in "web" a while back, I think I said I'd rather go without good sex than good food. So. If I didn't go to the gym, I'd probably weigh about 20 stone by now.[/QB]
This is me. Although, I believe that the combination diet of lots of food and lots of sex works extremely effectively. The best of both worlds....
My stern New Year Resoultion to Get Fit! (sub clause involving arms like Madonna and a midriff like Britney as I recall) has flapped limply, sighed and died. I've been swimming twice this year. Half hearted early morning sit-ups and vague arm exercises involving baked bean tins pretending to be serious weights have not had the desired effect.
I used to go riding regularly as a teenager, and spend Saturdays hauling hay bales and wheelbarrows full of horseshit around, so I guess I was fairly fit then. The fittest would probably be the summer I worked in Colorado, with hiking and mountain climbing and all sorts of outdoors healthful activity.
I'm 25 and my youthful bloom is fading and sagging. I feel I should do something about this, but I genuinely don't have much time, what with OU studies and all. I absolutely refuse to join a gym out of principle. I suppose I should start going swimming regularly, or go cycling again. I quite like the idea of kovacs' gaydance DVD, but the thought of dithering over that section of the shop fills me with shame. I also don't own any trainers or sporting atire.
Why can't I be rich and famous and have my own personal trainer and stylist and everything?
Are we talking muscle or fitness ? There is a difference.
I used to be fit; oh boy did I used to be fit.
I used the Gym 3 to 4 times a week, I cycled on a daily basis and at weekends covering distances of up to 30 or 40 miles in a matter of a few hours, I swam every Sunday afternoon and was to be as honest as I can be in great shape.
Through that entire period I smoked and drank and it had no effect on my overall fitness.
Perhaps it was to do with a very ‘fit’ childhood. As a lad I was an accomplished gymnast, a reasonable long distance swimmer (5 miles plus) and a reasonable high diver.
This shaped my body into what it was, a lean machine, no fat and capable of twisting and bending into bizarre positions or keeping up sustained exercise for a prolonged period.
But no real muscle..
I’m short, I know it.
I’m 5.7 in my stocking feet so being beefy and muscle-bound really isn’t a good idea, short bodybuilders tend to start to look like dwarves as they soon become wider across than they seem to be high, so I was never going to be a hunk, but I was sculpted enough to get admiring looks from some ladies and I was happy with myself..
That all lasted up until about 1999…
I still cycle on a daily basis, I still use free weights to maintain some tone and definition but have started to notice the onset of what I can only call an expansion in my body mass.
My waist size had gone up three inches, from a 30 to a 33 and I had a band of tubby fat just around the middle. It’s no beer gut, and it’s not a massive wobbly mass of lard at the front either, it’s just a general build up of years of red meat and dumplings.
We all change in body size and shape as we get older and there’s precious little we can do about it.
For a wee while during the Cancer year I got fat, or rather fatter than I ever had been. I think this was due to my sedentary lifestyle brought on by illness. Being tired and eating what I liked took its toll on my body and on my general fitness. I didn’t like it.
So since I’ve been feeling up to it I’ve been back on my bike, using my weights and eating a low fat, semi vegetarian diet and have now gone down to a 32 waist, perked up my pecs and started work on moving the mass of mulch around my waist. And it’s not been too hard at all.
I think once you’ve been in shape getting back into shape isn’t too hard, the problem is getting into shape in the first place. My body is slowly reverting back to the state I want it in, the state it was in say 8 years ago.
I get out of breath now and again whilst exercising, but I put that down to the last year and being ill, but it’s almost as if my body is made of a silly putty that will no matter how stretched, how squished or how deformed always attempt to return to it’s previous state when treated kindly.
I certainly will be encouraging my kids to lead a active life and be as fit as possible during their childhood as I believe it helps and builds some sort of blueprint for a healthy future..
I know that one day it’ll give up the ghost and that nature will just take over, but till then I’ll keep eating as well as I can, getting moderate exercise and trying to look after it.
Eight years ago I looked like this and will again, oh yes I will again…
(I was 28 almost 29 in the pic - So in answer to your question Kovacs, how old are you now ? Because at 28/29 I was pretty damn fit)
Even if as many of you have pointed out in the past my torse does look rather like Homer Simpson.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:
the main reason I exercise is so that I can eat what I like, and don't have to spend every day in an obsessive mess about it. Food is right up there in my "top five best things about being alive" list; indeed, in a quiz in "web" a while back, I think I said I'd rather go without good sex than good food. So. If I didn't go to the gym, I'd probably weigh about 20 stone by now.
LOL this is so me.
Last week I got told that my butt could provide a pillow for 7-8 people..........
I go thru stages sometimes I hit the gym 5 times a week for a long period, I feel good, I look good, I eat like a horse and put on no weight. Then something happens such as a holiday or Xmas so I miss a few weeks and suddenly I haven't been for months and I am umm a bit "softer" in places due to the fact I am still eating like a horse. This depresses me and eventually spurs me back into the gym for another round of fitness. I find having goals helps such as the fact I am running the Nike 10K again, not a long distance for most people but for someone who thinks running is the work of the devil it's a goal.
so in answer to your question Kovacs about whether I am fitter than you, it depends which month we are talking about.
quote:
Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
I quite like the idea of kovacs' gaydance DVD, but the thought of dithering over that section of the shop fills me with shame. I also don't own any trainers or sporting atire.
I have to reassure you on this.
1. If I, a fella, can go into Virgin Megastore in the first week of January -- thus risking bonus new year resolution, is it? that won't last smirks from till-boys -- and buy Helen Adams' Dance Workout, so can you!
2. I bought my second DVD, Tracy Shaw's Salsacize, off of Amazon.
3. You may not enjoy seeing Tracy's scarlet bra -- a pleasure ruined for me by the shots on Robbb's Celebs of her in the nude -- but she is aided by a really fit man.
4. If you do it at home, why do you need any sporting attire? You can do it in your pants, if Thorn is out.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I have to reassure you on this.
Why not try:
Billy Blanks Tai-Bo(sp) for a more macho, crouching tiger, hidden dragon, wax on, wax off cardiovascular workout that doesn't seem too 'gay'.
Pilates - This is good for flexability and sex (or so I'm told/trying to find out)
OR
A Yoga fitness video. Look as though you are not only fit, but also in touch with your inner peace.
Buy them all at Amazon.. No need to leave your house ever..
Is it possible to purchase one that doesn't feature a vile, tarty, halfwitted-grinning D-list ex-Corrie/BB harpy?
And what about this yoga thing? It doesn't look too exhausting, but quite slim and toned people seem to do it. Does it make you happy about your shit life as well?
Edit: oh yes, Darryn, I saw the tai bo vid at my mate's. Shocking.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Vogon Poetess ]
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
Or if I'm in. I don't have a problem with that.
If the confused icon didn't exist, I feel they would have had to invent it for Thorn's sexual attitudes.
L@@K what Salsacize can achieve for puny arms! Here's my puny bicep.
edit: if the bottom-left corner looks poorly photoshopped -- it does, it does! -- it's because I took out a chair. THAT IS ALL!
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: kovacs ]
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
You can do it in your pants, if Thorn is out.
Kovacs: how cruel of you to suggest that Vogon has no need for a sports bra.
Yeah, sports bras, how do they work? Are the cups more rigid, or the straps made of steel or what?
quote:
Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
And what about this yoga thing? It doesn't look too exhausting, but quite slim and toned people seem to do it. Does it make you happy about your shit life as well?
I've been sneaking peeks at D.O's Pilates video.. It looks so sedate and nice, strech here, bend here, hold it, hold it.. Hold IT.
And relax....
Had a quick go myself too, hahhahahahahaha ! I though, piece or piss. NOPE/WRONG it looks easy, it seems easy, but boy do you hurt after. Does tone you up though, really it does.
Give Pilates a go VP...
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
it's because I took out a chair.
With one Benlike punch, I hope.
quote:
Originally posted by London:
Kovacs: how cruel of you to suggest that Vogon has no need for a sports bra.
London, this is that thread I was promising to start "for you" -- get to it!
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
We really need to see that in perspective y'know.. Otherwise it can't be judged.
Giz a full body shot of the Prof to stick on Hot or Not 
We'd go to classes and trounce around till we were beetroot in the face, then buy loads of Haribo Panditas and litres of strawberry Tango, and sit around smoking fags and planning our lessons for the next day. It was acez.
When I got back from travelling I wanted more. More house music. More dancing! I discovered E, and pills then were so strong that you could do one on the Saturday and still feel its traces at your Wednesday night class. That, combined with a dystentry-toned slimness, led to six-times a week classes and free weights at home and a diet comrised of 75% raw food. I felt fucking amazing. I'd bound out of bed each morning with glee and gusto.
Unfortunately Jake was starving to death. Our domestic arrangement of the time involved me cooking and him cleaning, and he, being a strapping six-foot young male, could not deal with the concept of a baked potato being a 'treat'. The diet was off: slowly, the gym thrill fell off too.
In 2001 the gym was inches from my house, and I met my favourite teacher ever, a spaghetti-thin gaylord called Skinny Mike, with the most intricate classes I've ever seen. My abiding love of Step aerobics is countered by the fact that I have a bizarre talent for it - surely the most useless talent a girl could ever have, I'd much rather be able to tie a cherry stalk in a knot with my tongue - so a class that features basic step, the occasional turn step and - whoo - REPEATERS just doesn't do it for me. But Skinny Mike fulfilled all my needs; and the weights were there for afters. The highlight of my exercise life involved a dinner with my sisters. I went to the turntable to change the music, lifting my arm, and my sister said, in a stunned, shocked voice:
AMP - you're - you're... TONED!!!!
It didn't last. I broke up with my boyfriend, lost my home, my job, all my money and security, and my beautiful gym inches from my house. Where Skinny Mike is now I do not know. And there is no Skinny Mike at my new gym, just some fairly low-grade Step classes - but at least they're hardcore. You sweat like a bastard and suck down litres of water, your face an embarrassing red: so not a good look with ginger hair. I love it. Losing yourself in music and movement - the sentences in your head reduced from litanies of self-hate and confusion and aspiration and lust into numbers, counting reps to the beat - right now it's the only freedom I know.
We'll see how long it lasts.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: London ]
In the world of bodybuilding my calves were the stuff of legend..
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quote:
Originally posted by London:
the sentences in your head reduced from litanies of self-hate and confusion and aspiration and lust into numbers, counting reps to the beat
I take this point. One of the few positive aspects of my hour with "Gus" yesterday was the way all other concerns seemed trivial compared with the one intense wish for it all to end.
Those of you that know me will know that since a youngster, I have played Hockey obsessively. In my youth I played at quite a high level (still reasonable even now as I hurtle towards 30) and then my body rebelled against me.
I am a chubster. I can totally relate to all of the things that Ringo said But that said I consider myself to be reasonably fit!
I regularly excercise (Hockey twice a week during the season and Tae-Kwon-Do twice a week) and although I do struggle with overheating this time of year I do not have the hands on knees wanting to vomit running out of steam type thing, I am flexible (spilts are no prob) and quite light on my feet But I am still a bit of a bloater.
Why??
Why is this.
I do not snack excessively (although I do love Pizza!!!) and I never lose weight. may I just say Grrrr to my evil body. it is a bastard.
Anyone have any insights??
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
The answer would be "Not", natch, but I'd do it if everyone else did. And pictures of you now, Darryn -- not in your prime-meat phase.
Will do later.. It's a soory sight to see though..
Since that pic was taken, I've broken a hip and a collarbone and had a year off doing 'owt with the big C.
AND I'm 36 now too, if memory serves correctly Ko you're still in your 20's right ? So in order to be fair 'fitness' levels and the like we need to use your age as the time frame to judge by otherwise we throw the curve all out of whack..
I wonder if I can figure out my camaras timer..
quote:
Originally posted by Darryn.R:
Will do later.. It's a soory sight to see though..
Since that pic was taken, I've broken a hip and a collarbone and had a year off doing 'owt with the big C.
Fucking lame excuses or what.
quote:
AND I'm 36 now too, if memory serves correctly Ko you're still in your 20's right ?
In your wet dreams! I'm 33 in two weeks.
quote:
I wonder if I can figure out my camaras timer..
Feeling like a narcissistic homo, I tried this on the timer just now -- and I looked like a skinny runt. Better than a fat one, I suppose, but my torso looks like a really flat-chested girl.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Feeling like a narcissistic homo, I tried this on the timer just now -- and I looked like a skinny runt. Better than a fat one, I suppose, but my torso looks like a really flat-chested girl.
Lame excuse... You cheeky bugger
33 Really, well, I honestly though you were still in your 20's..
I'm still looking for my cameras instructions..
quote:
Originally posted by London:
Losing yourself in music and movement - the sentences in your head reduced from litanies of self-hate and confusion and aspiration and lust into numbers, counting reps to the beat - right now it's the only freedom I know.
See, I can't relate to this at all. I've never been able to find any activity that focuses my attention in this way. I remember my dad saying this about sailing, about how it makes you forget everything else and concentrate on the task in hand, but I couldn't shut off any of the nagging problems I had at the time. Same was true of windsurfing, judo, gym, cycling, squash, tennis, badminton, shooting, sex, reading, and indeed anything that I might indulge in that carries with it the promise of briefly silencing the continuous voice of anxiety chattering away at the back of my head.
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
forget everything else and concentrate on the task in hand
wat about wanking? pmsl
Can I get arrested for saying that.
quote:
Originally posted by London:
Yes, drugs. Try E. It changes stuff.
Yes, it changes me into a shivering bawling, miserable morose wreck for about three days.
However, with increasing age and decreasing metabolism, I find that I have to diet AND exercise just to maintain an even vaguely acceptable weight and thighs that will go into trousers not from Evans.
But London - I heart step classes too! That hypnotic beat, the concentration required that takes my mind off the fact that I'm about to have an embollism... I'm going to squeeze in a quick class at lunchtime! Bonza. If left to my own devices in the gym I stop, bored, as soon as I break sweat.
I'm going to take up a form of Kung Fu next week though, called Wing Chun. Apparantly, it's "characterised by its simultaneous attack and defences, incorporating punches, palms, chops, elbows and low to mid-section kicks". I reckon that I could handle a bit of fighting after work on a wednesday, and at £500 a year for 50 hours, I reckon that this is good value for money. It'll get me motivating myself to be fit and healthy for some reason other than vanity or premature death, which have never motivated me before.
It might sort my head out as well. Boost confidence, relieve stress etc. I'm phoning the guy up tonight, and going for my frist session on Wednesday. I'm really hoping that I like it, and get into it, but obviously if I turn up and start filling the role of human punchbag, I'll probably give it a miss. I chose this one because it's quite aggressive, see. It's all about streetfighting.
With the range of traditional foods available in say, India, it would take some effort and considerable relative expenditure to become fat.
Darker skin tones and developed muscles are often a signifier that you are a peasant or field worker, not the kind of image you want in an Asian society.
Of course in Europe for hundreds of years the fashion among high status people was to use as much white face powder as possible for maximum paleness.
In modern Western societies, most processed foods are full of fat, in fact the cheaper they are the more fats are used to substitute for expensive 'real' ingredients.
The poor are more likely statistically to be pale because either they can't afford foreign holidays or they spend long hours in factories or simply sitting at home. Obesity among the poor would be statistically more common due to cheap processed food, inactivity, and lack of access to expensive gyms and trainers.
Being thin, muscular and tanned became a new marker of social status since those attributes were more economically difficult to achieve. (although tans have become devalued by cheap tanning salons).
If we lived in different times or societies we would probably have totally different perceptions of good and bad body images.
Which isn't to say that it isn't a fair point, just that your deadpan delivery of it leaves this reader rather cold and unaffected by it.
If that makes sense.
quote:
Originally posted by The Dixie Flatline:
If we lived in different times or societies we would probably have totally different perceptions of good and bad body images.
You're right, but we don't.
I'm still waiting for Harlequin's contribution to this topic:
quote:
Fitness is the result of a healthy diet and exercise! It is easy to achieve with the right balance of diet and exercise.
quote:
THORN
suffocating bouts of morose depression ... slow sinking feeling of my dreams and aspirations, withering, growing mould and turning into a flaking, choking dust has been an undercurrent for as far back as I can remember ... the continuous voice of anxiety chattering away at the back of my head.
quote:
VOGON
Half hearted and vague ... youthful bloom is fading and sagging ... shit life ... It's only alcohol that silences that voice, Thorn.
Guys -- when are you two going to get together?
Edit for thread-answering.
I'm not as fit as I'd like to be, but I'm after a specific sort of fitness that will help me stride up Cairn Gorm in about three weeks' time without so much as breathing hard. Unfortunately the only thing that gets you hill-fit is climbing other hills, and what with living in Oxfordshire and working in London, there aren't a whole hell of a lot of them around.
Other than that I'm reasonably happy with my bod. I've got a photo somewhere, but as I'm not sweet I won't be posting or mailing it. Powerwalking 8k to work three times a week and navvying in the garden makes a difference.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Octavia ]
quote:
Originally posted by London:
Herbs, why don't you come to the 11am Step class on Saturdays at the Clissold Centre with me?
Is this a girl thing? I could never envisage preferring to work out in the company of someone I know. I think I'd feel totally self conscious. I certainly wouldn't dream of saying something like "Kovacs, fancy joining me for a boxercise class next week?" God, even the thought of posting something like that makes me feel totally awkward and unwell.
quote:
Originally posted by herbs:
Never was a signature so apt.
i feel that in a sense i'm starting to slip into this 'thinking man's Harlequin' role, to the point that my writing style is starting to resemble his more and more.
Perhaps it's time to kill off the Flatline and start somebody new.
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
Is this a girl thing? I could never envisage preferring to work out in the company of someone I know. I think I'd feel totally self conscious. I certainly wouldn't dream of saying something like "Kovacs, fancy joining me for a boxercise class next week?" God, even the thought of posting something like that makes me feel totally awkward and unwell.
I don't see what the problem is. Oh, apart from the nekkid showers afterwards. I hadn't thought that bit through. O well, is not as though Herbs is a lecherous man about to grab my just worked-out booty, is she. I mean, you'd go to a club or gig and dance and get sweaty with people you know, right? What's the difference?
this boxing class you went to was it a proper boxing session? or was it "boxercise"?
is it an ongoing training thing to go in the ring and start sparring?
I know what you mean, boys, about feeling slightly awkward in company. I quite like sinking into myself and being just, like, 'centred', but I would imagine I could manage this with AMP within view. Do they have communal showers? Oooh... hot lezbo action.
quote:
Originally posted by Bob:
ahh but would you go sparring/kickboxing/martial arting with another bloke?
I used to. Its good to have a mate there to help out and get you thru all the stretching and beating each other up. And its easier taking advice from someone you know. ie tuck your chin in, cover up your ribs. that kind of manly stuff.
No, that thought also troubles me. I dunno. It's something about all this kind of stuff, that i would prefer it if people in my real life didn't know it was happening.
quote:
Originally posted by Octavia:
...living in Oxfordshire and working in London...Powerwalking 8k to work three times a week...[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Octavia ]
d00d, what do you wear, seven league boots?
quote:I march from Paddington via Bayswater, through Hyde Park, Green Park, St James's Park, down to the Embankment, along it to Blackfriars and then up to Holborn.
Originally posted by H1ppychick:
d00d, what do you wear, seven league boots?
quote:
Originally posted by Bob:
this boxing class you went to was it a proper boxing session? or was it "boxercise"?
is it an ongoing training thing to go in the ring and start sparring?
You must be joking -- I'm a man of peace. It was, as I said, "Boxaerobics", for girls.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
You must be joking -- I'm a man of peace. It was, as I said, "Boxaerobics", for girls.
sorry. cos like there was an article in one of them mens magazines ages ago, which was banging on about how more people are taking up the noble art of pugilism and entering specially organised "white collar worker" championships. strictly amateur. bit like fight club but not. ie no orange juice and moth balls, no schizo moments etc...
quote:
Originally posted by Bob:
sorry. cos like there was an article in one of them mens magazines ages ago, which was banging on about how more people are taking up the noble art of pugilism and entering specially organised "white collar worker" championships. strictly amateur. bit like fight club but not. ie no orange juice and moth balls, no schizo moments etc...
I do that with ex-TMO contributor Rillion, but only to keep him from kicking dents in the sides of cars in the middle of Soho.
quote:Cue phoo
Originally posted by Bob:
sorry. cos like there was an article in one of them mens magazines ages ago, which was banging on about how more people are taking up the noble art of pugilism and entering specially organised "white collar worker" championships. strictly amateur. bit like fight club but not. ie no orange juice and moth balls, no schizo moments etc...
After 30 I developed a beer gut of not fantastic proportions, but being skinny all my life people tend to notice it a lot more. I also gaines wait through packing up smoking after 20 years, and hoping I would feel better.
Quite simply, I don't.
I get some pains in rather scary places, and cannot remember the last time I didn't feel tired (though this is through a condition called Sleep Apnea which I have developed over the last couple of years, which I must get treated). I recentley got a bicycle and do cycle when I can, and I walk a great deal, and tend to 'sprint-walk' as opposed to sauntering, so build up a sweat when I do walk any distance.
But I still feel like an old man, and I'm only 34. I often wonder if I'll ever see 40 to be brutally honest....
Oh and the biggest joke of all? I work for the worlds largest Sportswear manufacturer - all of my colleagues are superfit and full of vitality, forever running, playing tennis and whatever - I'm scared if I went and joined them, I'd drop down dead.
I shower with other chaps a lot, which has done wonders for my body confidence. I recommend it. Nothing wrong with a soapy chap.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Where are these torso pictures I was promised.
Yeah come on. QUICK!! before he loses wood.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
I just went to the supermarket to buy some supplies for lunch, and as I waved to an acquaintance sat at a café terrace, he said "Whoah! Nice beer belly you're getting there!".
then hit him
10k isn't far at all and you could be ready to easily run this within a few weeks of training. I'm going to go for it. Anyone else?
10k isn't far. about an hour at the most.
quote:
Originally posted by Bob:
The Nike 10k
yeah i'm up for it. though my knees aren't. neither is the location.
but i would do it. and thats important.10k isn't far. about an hour at the most.
I'll check the company Intranet about it - though I don't imagine too many colleagues will fly home for it. My boss occasionally jogs home - and he lives about 36km from the office.
They do tend to be pretty hardcore runners here - except myself of course.
AMP - My enthusiasm for an hour's step class is waning, as I have only just recovered from my half-hour class which ended at 1pm. I was puce and sodden. It was a shit class though - the instructor had a twisted ankle, so did not move from the stationary, and had no mic.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: herbs ]
I had a dozen or so Sea Breezes on Saturday and went to Ducky, where the first song they played was Bowie's "Andy Warhol", and I feel my dancing was excellent! Soon a guy opposite me started running his hands over my arms and interlacing his fingers with mine.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Bob ]
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Another positive aspect of "gay" dancercize DVDs that I remembered -- this should knock the smile off the face of scorners like Ringo! -- is that it gave me greater confidence in dancing.I had a dozen or so Sea Breezes on Saturday and went to Ducky, where the first song they played was Bowie's "Andy Warhol", and I feel my dancing was excellent! Soon a guy opposite me started running his hands over my arms and interlacing his fingers with mine.
Jesus!! I thought I was turning into a characature of myself!!
I had planned on joining the gym a couple of months ago, but then my car blew up and I moved, etc. All of my money went to those two things. I don't understand why gyms have to cost so much to join, it's kind of ridiculous. Anyway, I'm on a new budget as of next Wednesday, so the gym idea, might not be too far off.
The thing is, I think about exercising, but I don't have the motivation or the energy. Although, if I joined the gym near home, then I could go there right after work, on my walk home. If I go home first, I'll never go back out to the gym. I'm lazy.
I prefer doing classes to random exercising. Whether it's yoga (great for toning and flexibility), tai bo (which I doubt I'll ever do again, considering it gave me shin splints), or whatever. I've also been trying to get FK to join some sort of karate class with me for ages now. I find that if you have someone to go with, you're more likely to keep going. Or maybe that's just me. Plus, if we both did karate, we could spar with each other. Or at least practice.
Swimming is nice too. But. I hate me in a bathing suit. Bleh.
Yes, I need to start exercising again. Thanks Kovacs.
Running sucks. Especially if your boobs are on the larger side. Don't say "well, wear a sports bra then!", cause even if I do, running still makes them bounce around and it's not very comfortable. Plus, I smoke and well...I'll have a heart attack after running. Or an asthma attack (this is more likely.). Silly girl for smoking when she has asthma. Yes, I know.
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
Oh and running.running still makes them bounce around.
Oh LoRDY LerDY LoRD. Me brain is broke.
Also I would advise everyone to take their partner to MArtial Arts. Amy Me and Banana love going to Tae Kwon Do together. It rooles. And yes you can spar together. which is cool.
Grrrrrrr
(isn't my grr intimidating?)
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
I did my boxing with Modge and when we had to wear pads and punch each other, she was too weak, so I had to "spar" with the scary pro fighter shouting at me like Apollo Creed.
and then beam you one just for fun?
quote:
Originally posted by Bob:
did he shout things like
"focus"
"punch. stop slapping"
"keep your chin tucked in"and then beam you one just for fun?
Very similar. He shouted things like "jab! from the shoulder! left! right! ten of them! now ten more! faster!"
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
Very similar. He shouted things like "jab! from the shoulder! left! right! ten of them! now ten more! faster!"
In that situation I would have found it very hard to kick him square in the nuts.
[ 10 July 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
quote:ahhh, happy days...
Originally posted by kovacs:
left! right! ten of them! now ten more! faster!
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
I'm going to take up a form of Kung Fu next week though, called Wing Chun. Apparantly, it's "characterised by its simultaneous attack and defences, incorporating punches, palms, chops, elbows and low to mid-section kicks".
Late as ever, and still reading this thread, but Wing Chun is the shiznit. It was allegedly invented by a nun in tibet or something to ward off the evil huns (my ancient eastern history is kinda patchy), so it's all about being quicker and cleverer than your opponent. A friend of mine practised it at a really high level and gave me lessons throughout my final year of uni, which really helped with the stress. It's like the perfect fusion of tai Chi (sp?) and karate. Go nuts.
(Cool story - my shaolin master and his ladyfriend were set upon by a group of lame pikey 14 year olds outside a pub in Exeter - Christ, I hate that town. He quickly dispatched most of them, and when one of the remaining few ran behind him holding a bottle to smash over his head, he just turned at exactly the right moment, took the bottle out of his hand, then gave it back to him and told him to try again. The pikey saw sense and legged it.)
Cool story though.
quote:I saw this being done in Florence and it was waaaay cool. Have you actually done it BR?
Originally posted by Boy Racer:
If you want to get fit and strong and agile and graceful, then my money'd be on Capoeira.
quote:
my money'd be on Capoeira.
A mate of mine has done this for a while, and also says its great to keep your body supple and is good for relaxing the mind, like a hardcore yoga session speeded up I guess. He tried to teach me some moves coming out with the immortal line 'do not think, feel..' at which point I pissed myself laughing and smacked my head on the floor.
Its pretty impressive to watch although its hard to keep up for long periods of time. We're going to rio in six weeks and can see how its really done, so i'll be expecting some kind of DMC/jason nevins Capoeira off goings on at the beach to laugh at as he falls on his pasty arse yet again.
edit: ubb is not my bitch
[ 11 July 2003: Message edited by: yanda ]
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
I also have ginger hair, but there's nothing I can do about that.
You could dye your hair and shave your pubes.
Works for me.
note; do not dye your pubes and shave your head.
Sorry Octavia. I did it again.
quote:You and I are going to have Words. In Lille.
Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
Sorry Octavia. I did it again.
Im skinny, and would like some extra bulk, but as long as you can faintly see the muscles lines in various parts of my body that will have to suffice, Ive tried "working out" and I usually work out for 3 weeks then stop, then 2 months later start again. I cannot afford a gym. What an uber lame post, my first in 6 weeks and it is this snivelling nose of a little boy post. wELL.
Been fit & thin; fit & fat; always smoked hundreds of fags a day and drunk man-sized quantities of wine, but, happily, fitness seems to offset the worst effects.
When Mr Grace MkI hit the dust, I ran away to Brazil. I was being fit & fat at the time, but something about spending most of the day in a bikini, learning to Samba and Lambada, and my transcendent love of walking for miles along beaches, turned me into a toned, bronzed, healthy person with a hell of a wiggle! Naturally, this carried a lot of clout back in Blighty - so I kept it up.
I went to the gym at least 5 days a week - often, every day. I couldn't actually fit a social life in around that, contenting myself mostly with frequent compliments from passing strangers. Perhaps if I'd got out & met more people instead of pursuing a perfectly-controlled musculature, I might not have married Mr Grace MkII - another re-shaping experience!
When that all went pear-shaped, so did I (sorry). I decided against running away this time - oh, all right, I couldn't afford to - so I buckled down to my horrible job and to renovating the hovel I had bought. Unsurprisingly, I then developed massive clinical depression, which became so severe I literally couldn't walk some days. Salsa, Lambada and fixed weights were way out of the question - I couldn't remember what the question was! (Sorry again)
Now I seem to be getting better, hurrah, I did visit the gym last week - just to make sure it's still there and my direct debits aren't disappearing into the ether! Even renewed my "towel & locker course", so I suppose I'm intending to go again. I'll have to start from scratch, which is a fairly unappealing thought.
The one good thing that's come out of this is that, although I'm now a 14 instead of a 10, and I have lardy wobbly bits, I like my body much, much more than I have since toddlerhood. Must be the "things could be worse" cliche proven true - or the therapy: who knows?
The one message I would pass on to others is .... RUNNING AWAY IS GOOD FOR YOU! 
And, Thorn - I used to shake more when I exercised a lot, too. Wonder what that's all about?
Cheers,
Lardy Grace
edited for UBB ... that's a slash-i at the end, Grace! 
.... And I'll try not to double-post in future
[ 12 July 2003: Message edited by: AgeingGrace ]
[ 12 July 2003: Message edited by: AgeingGrace ]
quote:
Originally posted by AgeingGrace:
edited for UBB ... that's a slash-i at the end, Grace!
That's a quote, not edit, duder.
quote:
Originally posted by kovacs:
[your turn! don't make me feel really bad, but are you a lot fitter than me? or, by some merciful chance, are you less fit?
I am currently stupidly unfit. I have no gym nearby, I haven't run for ages and my brother went from John'o'Groats to Land's End on my bike then had it stolen in Bristol the next day.
Even my Big Heavy Weights of legend have lain unused for weeks.
I am mostly a big lardy fuck, but the height means I carry it well. Well-ish. Please no-one disagree, I might cry.
At some point in the near future, I will have to try and combat this. How, I don't know. Some form of anti-proscrastination device to kick my arse into gear.
All I know is, I'd like to be in the kind of shape I left uni in (not two years ago!!).
I think a combination of Atkins and metamphetamine is the way forward.
quote:
Originally posted by Carter:
I am mostly a big lardy fuck, but the height means I carry it well. Well-ish. Please no-one disagree, I might cry.
quote:
Originally posted by Carter:
I think a combination of Atkins and metamphetamine is the way forward.
quote:
Originally posted by Carter:
That's a quote, not edit, duder.
I reckon...quarterstaffs (?staves?).
Atop a log bridge.
Or we could do the ITV The Fight thang, and train up under the scrutiny of the cameras for 6 weeks, then go at it in the ring.
Which would marry quite nicely with me coming out, of course.
Bagsy me Ricky.
Recently I have started playing badminton once a week, which I am crap at - in six weeks of playing four games a session, I have won one game - but I don't care. I get hot and pink and sweaty and feel virtuous. And I get to leer at the five-a-side boys without feeling wrong, because hey! I do sport too!
I did one aerobics session, and we were gonna go back, but y'know, life gets in the way of aerobics. It was v v boring, and I am hopelessly uncoordinated. I read in last Saturday's Guardian about a vogue in London for punk aerobics - I'm not big into punk, but it's gotta be more interesting than cheezyhouse or whatever they usually play?
To those of you who do step aerobics - is it possible that a basic step class is easier for those of us who can't walk and chew gum at the same time, 'cos you're like, just stepping on and off the step thing?
[ 17 July 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
Interesting as TMO is today, I thought I'd mention that Kung Fu is harder than it looks on Mortal Kombat[ 17 July 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
[martial arts chate]do they have you doing push-ups on knuckles and on fingertips? Something we used to have to do when I was into martial arts in my teens[/martial arts chate]
There's only one way to be top of the pile, people. Only one mutha gets to be the top dog. And there's only one way to get there. Yes. The Desk Job Fags Couch Potato Plan. With very little effort or investment from me, I could defeat you all with my strength and fitness. Please note that I am, of course, loosely defining 'strength and fitness' as the ability to crush others simply by sitting on them. The duo punch bag arse cheeks will crack most bones of the rib cage and if that doesn't get you, suffocation by flapping, pendulous mammary gland will.
Live in fear, you soft ponces.
back atcha baybee.
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
"wheelbarrow push ups".
Yeah inverted push-ups are a bit of a killer, the idea is that it focuses the strain on your shoulders and upper-chest rather than your main chest (pectoralis majorus to quote the w*nky proper name). Helps lots with punching power though.
Oh and sparring rocks, you want guilt wait until you accidentally flatten someone a foot shorter than you for the first time (unless he deserved it in which case you can apologise insincerely and chuckle quietly out of earshot )
quote:
Just to let everyone know that the fast-track project in Torbay is opening today - it is a 4-court sports hall at Paignton Community College, and I heard a rumour that Kris Akabusi is attending the opening (as well as Mark C***** from the Exeter office!).
Yes! That Mark C***** is a right ****.
quote:
Originally posted by Boy Racer:
I'd be more concerned about what they could do to you mate, ladies can get quite carried away with the opportunity for nad kicking / punching I have found.
did this seem true of all the gents in the class or just you.
!
But, now I am doing this boxaerobics class (twice a week to Ko's once, natch ) and I have found out how shockingly aerobically unfit I am. Plus Gus the instructor shouted at me last night for having a rubbish punch. I can't quite get out of dance mode and into agressive mode in these classes. O well, I should be more fit soon - at the moment I can do about a million* sit-ups without breaking sweat yet I can't run more than 400 metres without turning blue...
*not literally!
[ 17 July 2003: Message edited by: Modge ]