everyone nominate a cheese, and give three reasons. once twenty cheese have been nominated we vote on which is the best cheese. if someone beats you to your cheese of choice you simply choose another cheese. the winner is the winner of the cheese olympics!
fucking hell i love cheese.
pasteurised? fuh!
i nominate HALLOUMI
it is greek, and therefore a cheese for gays.
it is made of sheep.
it squeaks when you eat it, and is therefore the only musical cheese in the world.
lets get ready...to crumble! (as in, a nice dessicatey mature cheddar, or a few crumbs of stilton on a miniatures carrs.)
[ 20 May 2003: Message edited by: discodamage ]
The more tasteless the better. Cheese is Satan's spunk after all, but I'll tolerate this on a pizza as long as the taste of buffalo has been completely processed out of it, rendering it a kind of glue for pizza topping adhesion. Cheese mastic if you will.
quote:
Originally posted by discodamage:
if someone beats you to your cheese of choice you simply choose another cheese.
if this thread dies, i can at least comfort myself with the thought that this is the best sentence i have ever written on tmo ever.
quote:
Originally posted by StevieX:
Mozarella
Cheese is Satan's spunk after all.
Do you think heavy metallers use it as a hair styling product?
quote:
Originally posted by vikram:
Do you think heavy metallers use it as a hair styling product?
Only if they can drag their knuckles far enough off the floor to get it out the chiller cabinet.
i am considering whether, seeing as this is my thread, to ban stevie x for it for not liking cheese. thats a bit like not liking babies. there are plenty of people who dont like babies but i prefer to pretend they dont exist. this thread is about why cheese is brilliant and im not having any heretics in it.
you did however say mozarella, steveie, so i guess ill have to forgive you. thats like ony being able to tolerate babies who are always silent and dont move and never get any older than 4 days old- missing the point a little but forgivable.
It's blue brie for me. And goose mousse, but that's not a cheese.
ming.
1) It's white. Many of the best things in the world are white. Habitat Egyptian cotton bedsheets. Certain pharmaceuticals. Snow.
2) If you squash it with a knife, it will splat down - and yet, should you choose to bake it in a flan, for example, a goats' cheese and leek flan, it will retain its shape and turn a most excellent pale brown at its uppermost parts! It is thus mutable, without being meltable. Or something.
3) it has a predeliction for luxury partners. Pine nuts, thyme sprigs, runny honey, red pepper. It knows on which side its bread is buttered (hah!) and naturally graduates towards those who will best complement its unique stylings. No abusive relationships here, no: no domestic violence, no on-again off-again boom-bust loveins: it seeks the best, finds it, and is content. As will you be. Chevre - the King of Cheese.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Er, "chevre" just means goat, doesn't it?
O. Yes. It's a white cheese shaped like a goat! It has the little rectangular eyes and everything! Surely you must have seen it, Mart. I mean, you're cosmopolitan and everything. Cuh!
Admittedly goat's milk cheeses are much less varied than cow's milk ones, and 100% goat's milk cheese is pretty much a sui generis all of its own, but still. You've copped all cheeses from all goats - a nifty move, oh cheesey one, but I'll wager Disco will give a verdict of filthy cheat when she sees your entry.
halloumi
feta
mozarella
blue brie
huntsman
chevre (i will allow this because i couldnt name a sort of goats cheese, its all just goats cheese to me- and and all goats cheese is good cheese. and also because if i dont londie wont like me any more.)
cheddar
its a strong lineup, but theres no real standout. well there is but im hoping that we're not going to be predictable! did i mention that in the final tally you will not be allowed to vote for your own cheese? that should mix it up a little!
and thankyou harley for informing us that all cheese is rotten milk. ewww! isnt it odd that cheese should then rock so hard?
Then again, from what I can make of the other candidates, this could go down to the wire.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:Then again, from what I can make of the other candidates, this could go down to the wire.
lol! very good! mwah!
3 reasons? For real?
*sigh*
1) Cause it rules!
2) It tastes yummy!
3) It's my favorite cheese ever.
Damn you dd. Now I want cheddar cheese!
I found this for you cheese lovers
If you don't feel like clicking on it, it's nothing more than a list of cheeses, what they go well with and where they are made.
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
I found this for you cheese lovers
quote:
Mental!
PORT SALUT- this cheese can vary from mellow to robust in flavor and has a semisoft texture. Works well for cheese trays, appetizers and dessert. Goes best with fresh fruit and crackers. Mad in France.
Reminds me of a translation I was doing where I was this close to leaving in a typo. Instead of "People must be made to feel important", I had put "People must be mad to feel important". Oh how we laughed.
But, er, on with the cheese.
1) in powdered form it smells like sick yet tastes strangely nice on your spag bol;
2) shavings on Caesar salads with croutons and firm lettuce = the food of kings'
3) because it's beeyootiful with balsamic.
The long, short and the tall: I love cheese. A favourite? Many. Most. All. Yes, all. Even the one I purchased in Arras, which smells like a marathon runner's feet. Many of my favourites have been mentioned. Halloumi, best when grilled accompanying a slice of Greek ham. Mozzarella. I quite often but the little balls floating in that lightly salted brine and consume it there and then. No grilling, no placing carefully on bread. Cheese on a plate. Knife in hand.
But if I was to pick one... hmm... I think it has to be Comté. Oh yes. But then there's Rocquefort. Hell, I don't know. I want them all].
[ 20 May 2003: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
we have now had 3 votes for cheddar. i dont give a shit what colour or derivation or sub-genus of cheddar you have voted for, you rets, jhnjhoj got there first and so he is the cheddar nominee.
read the fucking manual! if someone beats you to your cheese of choice you simply choose another cheese. that is such a beautiful sentence that i think you are blinded by its silken rhythmic cadences and hence cannot even understand it. not your fault. it is a beautiful sentence. but stop, you savages!
hades, amy, you cant have cheddar. simply choose another cheese, y'getmi? i dont care if you love cheddar more than any other cheese, for a start you are giving cheddar a false start but subconsciously making people think it is the most popular cheese before we have even got to the second round! you are fucking with the cheese olympics! and this is something up with which i will not put! nobody fucks with discos cheese olympics!
quote:
Originally posted by discodamage:
and this is something up with which i will not put!
Churchill, wasn't it?
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
If you don't feel like clicking on it...
If you really don't feel like clicking on it, what it boils down to is this: interesting flavoursome cheeses come from France, the UK, Norway etc.; bland generic 'cheese' comes from the USA.
Why? Is there no decent artisan cheese made in the States? It's not like the population doesn't come from all parts of the world and doesn't have the skill to make good cheese is it?
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Churchill, wasn't it?
Edited for bonkers late-night Googling of cheese factoids.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: mart ]
Crumble it over all sorts of fresh foods, bake it in a pasty, slap it on bread with a sprinkling of herbs and extra virgin olive oil on it, even fry it. Smashing stuff.
quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
Is there no decent artisan cheese made in the States?
Of course there is; that site Amy found was just insanely rubbish.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Er, Ziggy...
OH dear. What have I done wrong?
Hang on. Vickram's already nominated that one.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: ziggy ]
It looks interesting, resting on its opened wrapper with an air of quiet, but inviting nonchalance.
It squashes on to biscuits just right.
Just after one has eaten it, it is very good at deterring doorstep salespeople from lingering.
Edam is fantastic because it's a delicious cheese in a leather jacket.
I mean, how grand is it? It's round. And red. Or yellow. And shiny. It looks like a sixties design classic: a chair for Pop Art Barbie. Although sometimes it's as big as a real chair, practically. Those crazy Dutch cheesemakers.
Sliced, it's triangular. And as any muppet in a duty free shop will tell you, eating triangular food is like eating geometry. Escher was probably brought up on Edam.
Is that three reasons yet? It’s a rock star, it's an icon, it's a big rolling round red cheesy blob of cool.
quote:
Originally posted by scribble:
Edam
Come off it. It doesn't evenb taste like anything. It's like cheese for people who don't like cheese. You may as well nominate that stringy cheese stuff.
Have you tried the cheese string stuff? That r0ks too.
Not the insipid mild stuff, oh no. The extra mature stuff that makes your mouth pucker when you bite into it. The stuff which crumbles if you try to slice it thinly. The stuff which has spend most of its month/year long life sitting in a dusty, cobweb-laden shed somewhere in Somerset (Cheddar, perhaps?). Never mind the bollocks about fancy recipes. Eat it with some fresh white bread and a couple of large pickled onions in vinegar to make your eyes water.
Honourable mention also to Peccorino Romana the `poor mans Parmesan' in Italy. Blend half a pound of it with four heads of garlic, rue, celery leaf, salt, olive oil and white wine. Eat with bread and drink wine. Get up frequently during the night because it will stop you sleeping and give up trying to get the taste out of your mouth - it won't work.
Finally, German Quark. Soft, creamy and delicious...
I haven't heard of half the stuff mentioned here.
I realise I'm breaking the rules, but surely Cheddar is the only cheese that anyone needs. It can do sarnie, grated on pasta, with apples, grilled, anything that your gooey weird foreign shite can do, but without the ponce and frills.
If I have to choose another cheese, it would be Midlands Stripey Cheese that I've only ever seen at my nan's house, for it's pretty stripiness. Or Red Leicester, for making all the other kids at school think I was eating carrot sandwiches.
quote:
Originally posted by Stefanos:
Cheddar
Jesus Christ.
As Rick has failed to make up his mind, I'm legging off with Roquefort, because:
"Nyom nyyooom mmmm God nyom uuuummmmhh...."
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: scrawny ]
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Jesus Christ.
Stefanos: "if someone beats you to your cheese of choice you simply choose another cheese."
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
No, chèvre, you spakker.Stefanos: "if someone beats you to your cheese of choice you simply choose another cheese."
What's up with the lack of affability today? 
Regarde the edit, and spak off out of it.
While we're insulting each other, Mart are you on MSN? Please email scrawnyscroggins@hotmail.com if you have time, have stuff to chate about.
Nice to the bite, sweet with a hint of cashew nut. Perfect with a glass of white wine. Or red wine. Or Weizen. Or water. Or anything. And ah, the aroma...
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Day off?
Mart, relaxing at home, today.
Sorry...
Will have to be lancashire. Proper, crumbling, can't slice it because it turns into little balls of shale lancashire. Not too good toasted, but fantastic on fresh white bread with a huge dollop of some form of eye watering pickle or squished into slightly too ripe tomatoes. Good on crackers too and makes a very specific set of tastebuds at the back of the mouth twinge in anticipation.
Plus, now I feel all parochially patriotic for nominating it.
Now, I know that I'm a self-confessed cheese hater, but aesthetically, I find this to be one of the more sublime cheeses. If I had to put anything apart from mozarella in my mouth, it would be Wensleydale.
I'm so hungry 
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
I was bought some Gouda with cum in...
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
chewy with small crunchy seed.
*snigger*
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
one bite later, I was totally soiled.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
dude I totally beat you to the cheese slice.
Shite.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by scrawny:
Wensleydale with apricot from the tesco's deli is one of the few things that's making me feel better about coming home.
Wensleydale blue is another favourite, first time I trid it was as a kid when I was dragged on a tour of a dairy place where they made it, we bought a big piece in the gift shop. Fantastic cheese, sadly noone seems to sell it round here, although I live in hope that 'Cheeseman' (a cheese-counter stall on Norwich market with a bewildering array of different cheeses) might get some in.
That crumbly lactic taste combined with the gorgeous tang of blue cheese, mmmmm..
quote:
Originally posted by scribble:
Edam
Did you know that Edam is made backwards?
Sorry, someone pass me my coat.
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Stop doing that you c**t
I thought that was great. Why delete it?
I still say cheddar though. I'm not a cheese pro, so 
halloumi
feta
mozarella
blue brie
huntsman
chevre
cheddar
stilton
parmesan
comte
boursin
jarlsberg
edam
midlands stripey cheese (can anyone identify this cheese for us? it sounds very exciting)
dairylea if ringo would like to swap this estimable processed cheese for another of his choices, say babybel, he only has to say. i may be crossing some lines here as i am only forwarding dairylea as it is my favourite of his panoply of cheap cheese choices.
rocquefort
cheshire
lancashire
gouda
processed cheese slice
that makes 20. the cheese heretic earns my wrath again for not mentioning that he can bear wensleydale early enough in the game, so that someone else could run with it and slip wensleydale into the voting pool. as it is jonesy has squeezed this fine cheese out of the running with his egalitarian nomination of yellow plastic burger cheese. theres a place for it, oh yes, but burger cheese v wensleydale? thats not even a contest from where im standing.[/i]
RIGHT. LISTEN AND LISTEN GOOD YOU SPAKKAS. THESE ARE THE RULES. ANYONE WANTONLY AND FLAGRANTLY BREAKING THEM WILL BE LAUGHED AND POINTED AT.
[b]ONE FORITE, ONE VOTE, ONE CHEESE.
VOTING ENDS AT 6PM TODAY. THE THREE CHEESES WITH THE MOST VOTES ARE THE CHAMPION CHEESES AND THE WINNERS OF DISCOS CHEESE OLYMPICS.
im going to saythis again, because certain of you have proved yourself to have brains hole-ier than a piece of cartoon mousetrap:
ONE FORITE. ONE VOTE. ONE CHEESE.
i vote for.....
stilton
let the games begin!
VOTING CLOSES AT 6 TODAY.
duh.
quote:
Originally posted by discodamage:
AND NO VOTING FOR YOUR OWN CHEESE.
I wouldn't bother. Not even my girlfriend will eat that.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
rocquefort
I'm doing this because I love it so. Because Disco has already voted for Stilton. And because the combination of cream and sharp is mouthfucking.
And just for a laugh, "Smell my cheese!"
quote:
Originally posted by 69 Comeback Elvis:
I'm doing this because I love it so. Because Disco has already voted for Stilton. And because the combination of cream and sharp is mouthfucking.
you can vote for stilton if you like. mainly because ITS A COMPETITION. ITS THE CHEESE WITH THE MOST VOTES THAT WINS THE PRIZE.
gordon bennet.
(Blue) Stilton
quote:
Originally posted by Stefanos:
I nominate Peccorino Romano!
lol
You said: THE THREE CHEESES WITH THE MOST VOTES ARE THE CHAMPION CHEESES. And I thought it would be nice, as I was torn, for my equal favourite cheese to stand a chance of being one of the three.
And you shouted at me for it .
quote:
Originally posted by 69 Comeback Elvis:You said: THE THREE CHEESES WITH THE MOST VOTES ARE THE CHAMPION CHEESES. And I thought it would be nice, as I was torn, for my equal favourite cheese to stand a chance of being one of the three.
And you shouted at me for it
oh okay babe, i sorry. i thought you were being dense. tactical voting is cool.
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
lol
No, I am not trying to be humourous....according to Delia it is `Pecorino is a ewes' milk cheese which is made all over Italy – but the best and most useful in the kitchen is Pecorino Romano, as this is aged and hardened especially for grating. It is similar to Parmesan but sharper, with much more bite, and this gives a lively kick to many Italian dishes, particularly pasta with carbonara sauce or the lovely four-cheese sauce.
Smell my cheese!
quote:
Originally posted by Stefanos:
I nominate Peccorino Romano!
That's not even on the list. Is it actually a cheese? Edit - obviously it is. However, that post just looks so random it conjures up an image of Stefanos bursting into a crowded party and announcing, in his most boomingest, proudest gladiatorial voice, "Ha ha. I nominate Peccorino Ramona!" to a frightened, nonplussed audience of strangers.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
[ 28 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
That's not even on the list. Is it actually a cheese? In fact that post just looks so random it conjures up an image of Stefanos bursting into a crowded party and announcing, in his most boomingest, proudest gladiatorial voice, "Ha ha. I nominate Peccorino Ramona!" to a frightened, nonplussed audience of strangers.
Bastard! Never thought I would be annoyed about fucking cheese! Look at the link above....
Fuck the cheese games. I want a cheese war!
Bring your Idiazábal home, or come home on it...
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
quote:
AND NO VOTING FOR YOUR OWN CHEESE.
DD- Why can't I vote for cheddar? You said I wasn't allowed to nominate something that was already nominated, so I decided to nominate romano instead. Now I can't vote for cheddar? Oy vey.
edit: forgot the quote
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Amy ]
I'll have to vote for Stilton too. As long as it's Copston Basset, and has plenty of rind. Though it makes me chuff like a badger.
GAAAAAAAAH!
quote:
amy, is cool, you can vote for cheddar now! its not your cheese! i think you were too late for nominatons with the percorino thing.
Yay!
happy cheese voting. dont kill each other. cheese is good but its not worth dying for.
oh, okay it is. but please dont anyway.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
That's right - I worked on a deli! I'm the cheese fuckin' king!
quote:
Originally posted by discodamage:
i nominate mart and jonesy to take care of proceedings in my absence
I'm going for a swim. Mart, you have the bridge, dood.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
bourgeois
you're posh though, aren't you? I mean, you sound quite posh.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
you're posh though, aren't you? I mean, you sound quite posh.
LOL. He wears a suit though, doesn't he? So he must be posh.
Rocquefort it is.
Remember children: New Cheddar*: New Danger.
*Yes, "new" cheddar also includes mature cheddar...
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
VP's the worst of both worlds: she's posh common.
But that could be the best of both worlds...
Better to look posh and act common than vice versa.
would have nominated St Agur if I'd seen this one earlier.
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
I'm the cheese fuckin' king!
Is that like a variation on the infamous scene from 'American Pie'? Christ now I'm going to be haunted by images of Bandy with a brie in one hand and ....
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
This was highlighted to me by a man on the tube who was clearly not posh, yet was wearing a suit.
He probably worked in Burtons or something.
And, I'm going to renew my claim for LeerDammer cheese. It's nutty, it's rubbery, and it comes in slices that are slightly too big to fit into the mouth area (mouth). Plus, C. buys it quite a lot, and reckons that it is one of our housemates who keeps nicking it.. she'll never find out it's me! haha!
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Louche ]
quote:
Originally posted by Louche:
will someone please confirm that Dr. Benway isn't Patrick Bateman?
Personally I can neither confirm nor deny that statement.
Ahem...Mart, are you doing your job, and keeping a tally of the votes?
Principally for its appearance, relative lack of smell and its remarkable ease of removal from sandwiches. It's also the last cheese that I purchased; only last week, in fact.
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
Ahem...Mart, are you doing your job, and keeping a tally of the votes?
Plenty of time for that, there's still over 3 hours to go. The banter going on is natural now the campaign is over, everyone's just hangin' round, waiting for the ballots to close, chatting nervously, trying to show confidence, looking like they don't care, the usual cheese stuff.
Don't worry!
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
Like Patrick, I just want to fit in, but unlike him, I do not feel deadly. I suppose it depends on whether or not you subscribe to the idea that it "was all in his head".
Ah. I do not ascribe to the 'all in his head' interpretation of American Psycho because the 'all in his head' interpretation misses the fairly fucking vital point that if the book is all the hallucinations of a madman, then the satire has no point. It's blunt. Not pointy at all. If it's all in his imagination the book becomes nothing more than an overlong wankathon for fashion, sex, violence and 80s music. If you view it as him actually doing all that shit then his reactions and the responses of friends, aquaintances, colleagues, random strangers become the most terrifying thing in the whole story.
So. Benway? I think I might find you slightly scary for a bit, if that's alright?
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
[pedant] It is actually 199 slices of American cheese [/pedant], Benny.
[correct pedant]
64 actually.
[/correct pedant]
this post was brought to you by...
The only cheese for Dr. Benway.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Rocquefort
quote:
Originally posted by fish:
Rocquefort
That rocques.
a. It turned out to perpetuate the racist ethic of Hollywood buddy movies (L@@k - a white guy with a black friend! Madskillz!?! rather than berate them.
b. Chavez, on being called a spick, replied with 'eef hi ham spick, choo har span fatass' and I felt uncomfortable writing that. Also, I forgot if spick is the correct derogator for Mexicans.
c. It wasn't funny.
The baddy was called 'Milkboy' Mozzarelli. It's been that sort of a week.
This poll was brought to you by
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
Vote hereThis poll was brought to you by
And where le fuck is Le Roulé?
Bastard. Hope you choke on your cheese with no friendly person around to stick a knee in your back and force you to cough it out.
Democracy?
Cuh!
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
There is a wide scope for doing many evil things using anonymous online polls.
*Obviously I didn't even try to vote twice.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Louche ]
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
Stupid poll doesn't let you vote twice
Fuck it. I am extending my protest by wasting my vote and picking `Midlands Stripey Cheese' when I get home as it is the Liberal Democrat Party of the cheese world.
quote:
Originally posted by Louche:
The "home PC second vote" factor will only actually come into play for those who expect to be home by 6; the deadline draws ever closer and the anxiety in the Leery Cheese camp is becoming evident...
Bugger.
1) Vote with my home computer over dial-up "A"
2) Find and delete cookie "X"
3) Vote with my home computer over dial-up "B"
We'll see Blue Brie (Cambazola, to give it it's proper name again) as Cheese Champion yet. 
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
We'll see Blue Brie (Cambazola, to give it it's proper name again) as Cheese Champion yet.
Now look here. I voted for Cambazola. I want it to win as much as anyone. But I don't want you doing anything stupid that's going to get it disqualified.
you know...i think we should have more polls.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Amy ]
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
you know...i think we should have more polls.
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
Lol. Nice one Frank. Looks like I 'm right!
Or...not. It is equal now.
More important questione!
Not only did I nominate the current leader, I just voted for a cheese that's been lapped three times!
I've counted up the votes, and a quite amazing thing has happened:
Stilton, Cheddar and Rocquefort all have four votes each.
Next in line, amazingly, is processed cheese (if Ben's contribution can be classed as a vote) with three votes, followed by mozzarella with two votes (and also blue Brie, if Thorn's statement that he voted for it on Benway's poll can be considered as a valid vote on the thread).
So, we've got a dead heat: Stilton, Cheddar and Rocquefort will have to race again, I think, to see which comes out as an overall winner. I'll leave it up to Disco to decide the best way to do that.
Isn't it exciting!
And I didn't see the bit about voting ending at 6pm and anyway I voted on Benway's poll thing before then so my vote still counts.
It's so obvious that the survey was rigged! You idiots!!
quote:
Originally posted by Härlequin:
How could that be true? Any reputable cheese survey would find that cheddar would be the most popular. After all cheddar is the working mans cheese!
This nearly got me. I was ready to hand this post over to Fifi to add to her "Harley is fake" file. How dumb am I?
you idiots! [ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Härlequin ]
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Hullo Stefanos.
You know, when I am bored I like nothing better than to settle down a nice copy of `The Communist Russian Cheese Chronicle'.
You can read it here.
Ben, I think SN has stolen your password. Either that or you are the same person.
[ 21 May 2003: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
quote:
Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
Better to look posh and act common than vice versa.
Are you sure?
Scenario 1.- VP looking common but acting posh
Scenario 2.- VP looking posh but acting common
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: mart ]
quote:
Originally posted by Bamba:
Unless of course you mean posh in a handicapped kind of a way.
Very, very posh.
Almost too posh.
Inbreeding can go too far, you know!
edit: And she considers it a measure of non-poshness that she never had a pony of her own when she was a kid. That's her idea of a deprived childhood.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
VP is way posh, actually. She even goes horse riding.
So do I. And I have an Estuary English accent....
Stereotypes, eh?
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
VP is way posh, actually. She even goes horse riding.edit: And she considers it a measure of non-poshness that she never had a pony of her own when she was a kid. That's her idea of a deprived childhood.
No horsey in the stable then?
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
And she considers it a measure of non-poshness that she never had a pony of her own when she was a kid. That's her idea of a deprived childhood.[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
i never had a pony either. does that make me a street kid?
wikkid.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
if anybody has a copy of The Daily Mail near them, look at page 33.[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
You think anyone is gonna own up to reading the Daily Mail here?
He went to a private school and everything, you know. And they have serviettes with their evening meal, and eat in a seperate dining room.
His family are generous to their servants though; they all got new uniforms last Christmas.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
^
| Carter (as posh as he is tall)
| VP (rides horses and uses the term 'serviettes')
| Rick (threw buns at the burser)
|
| Everyone else
|
| Kovacs (east-ender)
| Ben (northerner)
| Steelgate (like, duh)
v
More entries?
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Bandy ]
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
The Gallup-rated Posh Scale^
| Carter (as posh as he is tall)
| VP (rides horses and uses the term 'serviettes')
| Rick (threw buns at the burser)
|
| Everyone else
|
| Kovacs (east-ender)
| Ben (northerner)
| Steelgate (like, duh)
vMore entries?[/b]
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
quote:
Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
I went to the same school as you, you spongefucker.[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Where did you study before the age of 13? Studying Latin?
"Serviettes" is what my nan says. "Napkins" is the posh version, surely?
Stilton. Cheddar. Rocquefort. Dead heat. Tie-break. What's the plan?
Your thread needs you.
Also for tie-breaker vote. Cheddar
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: ziggy ]
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
Fuck that, Londie. Cheddar is the way to go. Yum.
Yeah! Cheddar. Yes, you mother fuckers! Fucking Cheddar! I know you've been waiting for me to say it. And you know what? Eh? Eh? I just don't care!
No nonsense, unfucked-about with cheese.
And if anyone else says otherwise they'll be getting a wedge of it through their window at 3 in the morning, with the help of one of these beauties:
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
quote:
Originally posted by mart:
Where the fuck is Disco?
It's here! The revolution is here!!! Grab your cheese and head for the hills!!!
quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
Did the romans have cheese?
Yes.
quote:
Originally posted by Amy:
Has anyone here ever had American cheese? Perfect for certain sandwiches. Or grilled cheeses. Mmm...grilled cheese.
When I was in New Orleans I ordered a jacket potato with cheese. To my horror, they slopped a big dribble of sludgey, radioactive-orange processed plastic gloop all over it. Sick.
How can processed cheese make a burger better? It doesn't taste of anything, it's just a sheet of slime to add colour.
quote:
Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
How can processed cheese make a burger better? It doesn't taste of anything, it's just a sheet of slime to add colour.
Ex-act-ly.
If this was the burger module of 203 Fast Food Studies I'd have thrown you out of my tutorial for a remark like that.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: ben ]
quote:
Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
How can processed cheese make a burger better? It doesn't taste of anything, it's just a sheet of slime to add colour.
But it does make the burger taste better. Think about it - a burger from the dodgy vans that appear at festivals and outside nightclubs seems completely unappealing. But a cheeseburger from one of these health and safety untested ratholes is almost 5 times as appealing as the cheeseless burger. So I've found, anyway.
A veggie burger is tasty enough to only need lettuce and mayo, and frequently nothing at all.
sorry about that. the ICOC (international committee of cheese olympics) would have been here yesterday evening to sort out this melee but they- she- i got distracted by dvds, curry, new lampshades and filthy sex. sorry!
goats cheese is the winner. in the event of there being a tie, the winner is the cheese i most want for my tea. sorry did i forget to mention that. and right now, i really want some goats cheese.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: discodamage ]
EDIT: Actually, goats bleat, don't they?
I'm crap. I should never have come back.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
No horsey in the stable then?
Someday, someone will have to tell me what the heck this means.
Sorry. As you were.
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
Did you know that the Japanese word for cheese can be roughly translated into "mouldy tit milk"?
*cough cough*
TAG!
Sorry Benway.
[edit: add to FAQ: Q. Who is this froopyscot and why does he begin the last line of every post with the word 'sorry'? A. Because he's a stupid American and doesn't know any better.
Sorry. Again.
Argh!]
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: froopyscot ]
quote:
Originally posted by Londie:
YAY! I WIN!!!!!!!!!!
Didn't you just say "fuck fucking chedder, fuckers"?
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Didn't you just say "fuck fucking chedder, fuckers"?
quote:
Originally posted by froopyscot:
*cough cough*TAG!
Sorry Benway.
[edit: add to FAQ: Q. Who is this froopyscot and why does he begin the last line of every post with the word 'sorry'? A. Because he's a stupid American and doesn't know any better.
Sorry. Again.
Argh!]
Froopy, if anybody needs to apologise to anybody around here, I'd say it would be me to you. If I may indulge myself in a little meatchat, I'd say that you did pret-ty well to listen to me talking for about twenty minutes on the subject of clicking bones/cracking knuckles, and then trying to gesticulate my way through a tortured similie of my job as a tree. I was partly trying to prevent an out of body experience, partly trying to communicate some ideas that weren't making any sense to me, and partly trying to appear to everybody as if I wasn't tripping. I think that it was this attempt to control things that lead to the unfortunate incident that caused everybody, including yourself, to leave the bar. So. Sorry about that.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
listen to me talking for about twenty minutes on the subject of clicking bones/cracking knuckles, and then trying to gesticulate my way through a tortured similie of my job as a tree. I was partly trying to prevent an out of body experience, partly trying to communicate some ideas that weren't making any sense to me, and partly trying to appear to everybody as if I wasn't tripping.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Is there a certain time of day when you decide to be Patrick Bateman, then?
quote:
Originally posted by Londie:
I don't believe you've read page one of this thread, fuck-monk. See my vote? For 'chevre'? Now say you're sorry.
I did read it but got lost in the labyrinth of argument and counter argument which runs through this thread like veins through exotic cheese.
The concise chedderfucking policy was a landmark which stuck in my mind.
I can't bring myself to go back so I'll take your word for it.
Sorry.
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
Froopy, if anybody needs to apologise to anybody around here, I'd say it would be me to you.
yeh poor Froopy. I hate talking to you, Doctor. Americans are way too polite.
And you're not crap. At least, no crapper than anyone else here. High praise indeed.
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
the unfortunate incident that caused everybody, including yourself, to leave the bar.
Am I the only one who doesn't know about this? Only otherwise do tell...
quote:
Originally posted by Raz:
yeh poor Froopy. I hate talking to you, Doctor. Americans are way too polite.
See? I knew I should take more lessons from late-80s vintage Dennis Hopper!
Polite? Fuck!
Besides, there's the whole getting-it-on-with-Isabella-Rossellini thing which isn't a bad side benefit. But I think there's another thread dedicated to that sort of discussion.
quote:
When I was in New Orleans I ordered a jacket potato with cheese. To my horror, they slopped a big dribble of sludgey, radioactive-orange processed plastic gloop all over it. Sick.
Noooooo! That's not American cheese. That's CHEESE WIZ! Hmpf. American cheese, that you get from the deli is creamy white colored. Christ alive, you people. Frooooooopy, tell em how good grilled cheeses are. And where's Sabian. Grr.
quote:
Originally posted by Londie:
A vote for Cheddar is a vote for mundanity! Revolt! Revolt!
How did cheddar lose? Without cheddar, without the mundane, there would be no cool; no strange, obscure or thrilling.
quote:
Originally posted by discodamage:
the winner is the cheese i most want for my tea. sorry did i forget to mention that. and right now, i really want some goats cheese.
But then again, goat’s cheese it good.
nearly every single one of the overly processed cheap as chips, lumps of semi-proteolysed milk has something stuck in it. be it apricots, cranberries or fucking chocolate.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
the australians are fucking weird about cheese.
i have decided that, this thread being such a success, i would like to have a tmo cheese and wine evening. i need someone to host it though as i have realised that there is no point trying to get people to come south of the river- all my 'friends' have turned into ****ing taxi drivers for some reason. who will donate their livingroom to a celebration of all things fromage? if i invite 20 people we can do this thread all over agian, but with the cheese actually in our mouths as we do it! i dont reckon cheddar will be so popular then.
quote:
Amy
Hurray for Froopy! Mwahmwahmwah! I wish I didn't have to go to a leaving lunch for lunch. I could go for a grilled cheese now.
Hold the pickles, though. Or don't actually hold them. I suspect their mark would be beyond conventional stain removers. Think Lady Macbeth but with shit!
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Think Lady Macbeth but with shit!
Poor Jonesy.
quote:
Originally posted by herbs:
I'm vaguely tempted to volunteer my gaff, once I've covered the soft furnishings with cellophone to protect them from pickles. I wonder if it could be combined with karaoke?
They're both pretty cheesy.
I'd be up for it, by the way (so would Harley I expect) but the kind of lies I'd have to come up with to explain that I'm meeting the internet freaks for a cheese and wine evening with karaoke don't bear thinking about.
Why don't we go the whole hog and make it a cheese themed fancy dress party?
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
quote:
Originally posted by Raz:
Poor Jonesy.
Thanks. Why, though?
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
They're both pretty cheesy.Why don't we go the whole hog and make it a cheese themed fancy dress party?
Who gets to come as Edam? The holey thing could prove a tad on the revealing side. Plus the unlucky/lucky winner of Stilton garb would be getting licked all night by mad cheese possessed forites desperate for some of that ol' blue tang.
LOUCHE: Edam?
HERBS: Oh dear. But edam doesn't have any holes.
LOUCHE: Oh...How embarassing.
HERBS: Never mind. I'm sure no one will notice the outfit. Look, Jonesy's got a stilt-on already.
JONESY [WAVING]: Hello.
[ 22 May 2003: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Oh well. Raclette anyone?
(Chedd)Arf.
quote:
Originally posted by herbs:
Raclette?
Do you have a fondue hot tub, herbs?
quote:
Johnnies:
Thanks. Why, though?
Lady Macbeth but with shit. I think. Raz has enormouse empathy with prosateurs afflicted by coprophilic visions of their sainted scribe. Particularly when they are as luculent as yourself. I would offer a locus classicus, but am pained inna headparts.
Old skool – Brooklyn, Brooklyn, funk funky fresh. Brooklyn’s in tha house. Get busy.
Nu skool – does Fionull count for being such a twisty Rabbi that she is an almost wholly new persona?
---------
If I had a mouse, I would call it enor. Quality mouse name.
quote:
Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
Do you have a fondue hot tub, herbs?
No, but I have a sauna. And we could share a bowl of cheese sauce in the bath, with somebody chuffing to create that Jacuzzi feel.
I bought a wheel of "Chaser" hand finished unpasteurised smelly English brie-like soft cheese from Warwick Castle's Regional Food Festival. It was lovely. I eat it all in one weekend. To myself.
I also brought several bottles of flavoured gin* (raspberry, damson, blackcurrant), which I intend to make a dent in this weekend. Probably with some nice Somerset Brie or mature Cheddar.
* And some Gloucester Old Spot sausages called "Galloping Gloucesters". And a bottle of organic Perry. And some crisps made out of parsnips. And 4 pints of Warwickshire Brewing Company's finest in a little plastic jug.