Most wanted A section of the site where the FLM Ladz show you the punter some quality gear. We'd have all of it if we had the moolah (or a brick)

Pukka 9ct. gold British Bulldog necklace

Look at this beauty, it's a Bulldog and it's 9ct. gold
With this little treasure hanging around your neck everyone will know what you are.
Available from Argos for only 84.99

[Well 'ard rating *****]
Tasteful 9ct. gold DAD Ring

You've gotta have one of these, You're somebodys father and you know you are. I mean you've put it about ain't cha ? And you're not a jaffa are you ?
Available from Argos for only 84.99

[Well 'ard rating ***]
Rock Hard 9ct. gold punching ring

Emboss this eagle logo in your victims foreheads with the aid of this specially designed punching ring. Causes cuts and bruises too - what a plus
Available from Argos for only 84.99

[Well 'ard rating ********]
9ct. white gold real identity bracelet

Never forget your name again with handy ID bracelet. Bracelets may look a bit poofy, but they can double up as knuckledusters - Well handy. Available from Argos for only 84.99

[Well 'ard rating ****]
Dr Martens 9ct. gold kicking boots

Steel toe-cap - Non slip soled - lots of laces - blood resistant kicking boots. Hard as nails these boots are fit for kicking students, frenchmen and dogs.
Available from Argos for only 84.99

[Well 'ard rating *********]
9ct. gold plated police light

Scare the crap out of your mates with this handy light.
Make 'em think that the rozzers are at the door. Why not shout "Drugs squad" as well - for a laugh.
Available from Argos for only 84.99

[Well 'ard rating ***]
Geezers 9ct. gold nip ring

If you've had your bitch tits pierced why not get yourself a nip ring ?
The birds love a pierced nip, it's well macho.
Available from Argos for only 84.99

[Well 'ard rating ******************]

All this gear is well tasty

FLM's expert shoplifter: 'Dodgy' Tony The Greek.




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For those with no sense of humour - This site is a parody
*FLM written by Darryn Reeds, with contributions from Christopher Goldsmith and Andy Mcloughlin*