posted
Does anyone know if Jimmy Big Nuts is in Brighton? I'm sure I just passed him on my way home, but I was in the middle of listening to McFly "5 colours in her hair" and didn't feel I should shout "Oi Big Nuts" at a stranger.
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posted
How would you approach it H1ppy? If Misc was standing at your desk pointing unhappily at his tumescent wang? Would you take him twixt thumb and forefinger, and recoiling slightly, and peering down your nose through your glasses give him a sterile handjob? Would you clench the whole thing with your fist and vigourously pump, while actually concentrating on the papers on your desk, doing sums with your free hand? What would be your take on it?
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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You'll note I actually said that he should take the problem in hand, not that I was offering to. However, having said that...I'm damned any way, however I respond. If I said I'd do what you said, I'm a bit of a joyless nothing. If I said I'd not help out at all, I'm a sexless prune. If I said I'd assist with enthusiasm, I'm a boardslut.
-------------------- i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song Posts: 4243
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I'm off to read Barbelith in an attempt to deaden my libido. In the mean time, maybe N-Wad can tell his perma-rection story again.
Before I go, I feel compelled to tell you about Kellifer's German dentist who, during a discussion about the future of her wisdom teeth, was heard to say "Ve could offer you an extraction - ze final solution!"
H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
posted
Oh, come on! I want a Mikee-boner-story!
Also, in other news, my friends are fucking useless. Several months ago, having polled my friends for definite interest, I bought 4 tickets to go see Ross Noble in stand-up this coming Monday. I informed aforesaid mates that the tickets were purchased, and asked them to put the date in their diaries so they wouldn't forget. I emailed round at lunchtime to confirm arrangements to meet, in case I don't see them at the weekend, only to find that two of the stupid bastards have double-booked themselves. Blokes are crap.
-------------------- i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song Posts: 4243
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I still have my school reports, some from almost a quarter of a century ago. I don't know what is more terrifying - that I still have my school reports or that the oldest of them was written in 1984.
As well as the usual 'can try harder' comments, my favorites are:
'occasionally brilliant, frequently dismissive' 'this has been a term defined by Rick's laziness and procrastination'
I was also described as an 'enigma' by my English teacher, as was my best mate as I was to later find out.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Does anyone have a single most embarrasing moment at school where if they'd have died of shame right there on the spot, then it would have been a mercy killing?
I once fell asleep during an English Lit. lesson and found myself being awakened by a barrage of paper balls accompanied by a chorus of laughs. I wanted to either run away or disappear under the table, but all I could offer was a tired, sheepish grin.
I don't think I ever lived that moment down - it was even mentioned at the last reunion...
-------------------- "You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!" "I thought they were animal cookies..." Posts: 4130
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Someone should invent school deunions, where everyone you went to school with has to say what their current address is and if any of them live or work within 50 miles of each other then they have to pull names out of a hat to decide which one resigns from their job and moves house immediately, taking only what they can carry on a small handcart. This would have to be policed by a third party to avoid any risk of personal contact.
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quote:Originally posted by 69 Comeback Elvis: You go to school reunions? Ew. Does anybody else go to reunions?
I was cajoled into going along by a mate who just loves the old place. In order to feel a little more comfortable I had to cajole my best mate who was even more reticent than me.
It wasn't that bad, in the end. At least I got to show Nightowl around the darker areas of Hogwarts, and run up and down the stairs we had been banned from using back in the day. Again and again.
We also had plenty of zoiderr.
-------------------- "You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!" "I thought they were animal cookies..." Posts: 4130
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