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Yeah. It was worth waiting a day for that one. It's a pun of the highest order. Normally you're looking at a 7-10 working day turnaround for something of that calibre.
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quote:Three new confirmed cases of swine flu have been diagnosed in the UK, bringing the total number to eight, the Department of Health has said.
Two of the cases are in London and one in Newcastle, where two students who shared a house with the patient are now being treated with an antiviral drug.
Earlier, the government's chief medical adviser warned that Britain will see "many, many more cases" of swine flu.
In total, 230 possible flu cases are being investigated in the UK.
quote:Originally posted by McDirts: Anyway, to suggest you can catch gay is ridiculous. You've really shown yourself up as being stupid there.
Nu-uh, you can too catch gay. Pete Thompson who sat two desks behind me in Maths told me that his Dad was a doctor working to identify the main causes of Gay. He said it all came down to three factors - hereditary gayness (this isn't very common because gays seldom reproduce), viral gayness (picked up from physical contact with a gay, or physical contact with anything that has touched a gay, or having bumsex sith a girl), and environmental factors (not playing enough football, watching girls' cartoons, getting the wrong ear pierced etc etc).
Anyway, he said he could tell that I showed the symptoms of being a carrier but it can develop into full blown Gay if left untreated. Thankfully, for a small amount of money he was able to steal a bottle of Anti-Gay Spray from his Dad's office. It was a sort of green colour, in an unlabelled spray bottle, and smelled like Windolene. He sprayed me head to toe in the stuff. My Mum was furious about my ruined uniform and wrote to the headmaster about it, but thankfully it seems to have worked because I haven't tickled any bums since.
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Unfortunately not. Last time I heard from him was the day we broke up after the exams. He said that he didn't really care what his exam results were because his Dad had promised to give him some high paying job in his company that he ran (I guess at some point the Gay research had to take a back seat so he could concentrate on his business ventures or something) and he'd spent most of the exam study break fingering Kelly Oulton in her parents' caravan they kept in the garden (though I wasn't allowed to mention it, as if her parents found out they'd send her to boarding school so she'd deny it totally). So, y'know, I imagine he's doing pretty well if that all worked out for him.
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I'm afraid not, no. I imagine if you go to a sexual health clinic though you can get yourself tested for Gay and they should be able to treat it. I haven't really heard of it going into production but I can't imagine that it would still be in development as this was years ago. It's probably only available through prescription.
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You'll be glad to hear that Amex are actively fighting the risk to CIVILIZATION AS WE KNOW IT. Since bacon lung has gone global they have decided that they need to take definitive action and as such, when I came into work today, I discovered that they have put a sign up in the toilets with instruction on "How to wash your hands".
I feel safer already. However, there is a slight problem in that the sixth and final step in their instruction is to turn the tap off with a paper towel, however we don't have any paper towels in the bathroom that I use. Does this mean that I am 100% guaranteed to get a slight cough and a runny nose?
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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There's a sign in the ladies at work now saying "Please remember to wash your hands; good hand hygiene helps to prevent the spread of colds and flu"
Obviously we can be trusted to know how to actually do this without further instruction, as that's all the sign says.
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Although, they say that it is not an alternative measure for washing your hands so you have to ask what it's for really. It's kind of like the snack you can eat between meals....of hygiene.
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: I just sneezed all over my keyboard!
Should I request a new keyboard from Helpdesk? I imagine this one will have to go into the biohazard bin now.
It's going to be more than just your keyboard Misc. Flecks of it will have gone on your desk as well. I'd recommend getting everything within a 2 metre radius of you destroyed by fire.
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Laminated signs have gone up in kitchens around the university warning people that because of the swine flu pandemic, staff should not use communal dishcloths, and should not share mugs.
Ah, the Big Weekend in Swindon. Lol! I have a completely depressing fucking story about that. The band I played bass in Failedadult is pretty much just my mate Fraizer now. He got offered to perform at the Big Weekend and the rest of the band couldn't be bothered to rehearse so he had to turn it down. He spent the weekend instead handing out his CD to practically everyone he could. Sara Cox, Zane Lowe, Chris Moyles, Jo Whiley etc. Imagine that: having a complete albums worth of material, the opportunity to play in front of thousands, meet the Radio 1 staff and your band can't be bother to rehearse. Fucking hell.
Ah, the Big Weekend in Swindon. Lol! I have a completely depressing fucking story about that. The band I played bass in Failedadult is pretty much just my mate Fraizer now. He got offered to perform at the Big Weekend and the rest of the band couldn't be bothered to rehearse so he had to turn it down. He spent the weekend instead handing out his CD to practically everyone he could. Sara Cox, Zane Lowe, Chris Moyles, Jo Whiley etc. Imagine that: having a complete albums worth of material, the opportunity to play in front of thousands, meet the Radio 1 staff and your band can't be bother to rehearse. Fucking hell.
That's one of the coolest things I've ever heard.
Radio1: Hi, would you like to play the Big Weekend? Failedadult: Um. Can I get back to you? Radio1: Sure. [THINKS- Playing hard-to-get. Bless.] TIME PASSES... Faileadult: Hi, Radio1? Radio1: Yes. Failedadult: Failedadult here. I've had a chat with the chaps... Radio1: Yes. Failedadult: And... we can't be arsed, really.
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I just sneezed all over my keyboard! 
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