quote:Originally posted by Vanilla Online Persona: Anybody see that cock prog on ch4 last night? It made me ashamed to be a bloke.
I saw two minutes where some bald guy was banging on about how kids at school called him maggot cock or something and how it'd fucked his whole life up since..
I'm going to download it, was it that bad ??
It will make you despair of being a man Daz. We're pathetic.
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Nah, I've just checked and it was a Natural World docu, and they were African driver ants.
Here is a male one surrounded by worker drones:
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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There was an episode of McGuyver where this guy got eaten by army ants. I watched it when I was about 4 and it scared the living shit out of me.
I met a girl from Cape Town a few years ago who is still terrified of ants after seeing that particular episode when she was young. Damn you, Richard Dean Anderson. Damn you to hell.
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I saw this hideous but compelling wildlife programme about ants the other night. I can't remember what species they were, but they were the ant equivalent of the German army in 1939 in terms of ruthless military zeal. They made their nest out of themselves ie the walls were made out of ants standing in formation. In the middle of the nest sat the bloated slut-queen, who did nothing but eat and pop out zillions of eggs, which had been fertilised by a hapless male who had to pull off his own wings in order to squeeze into the orgy chamber, and died after frantic shagging. In order to feed their growing empire, the ants set out on brilliant campaigns to ravage the surrounding area. Any insect or small bird in their path got swarmed, overwhelmed and sliced up into carriable chunks, to be transported back. When they reached a stream, they simply built a bridge out of themselves and raced over looking for their next kill.
Was the programme called When Ants go Bad?
[ 31.01.2006, 07:54: Message edited by: George the Robot ]
posted
I had too much cock last night. Which is not to be sniffed at.
I was finishing ‘Stuart: A Life Backwards’, which is superb, and had got to the really very upsetting final chapters. Somebody mentioned fellatio, and *pow* – hang about, the girl with issues behind me, who is getting married at the weekend, has just slammed the telephone down on her cake-making cousin with the line “Ifuckinaytit. I fuckinayt white icin cos it tastes mingin you stupid cow” and stormed from the office. The place shook. She’s not small. In fact, she’s huge, and all of her facial features have gathered in the middle of her head, like they’re about to launch into ring-a-roses. Anyway *pow*, somebody’s sucking cock in ‘Life On Mars’.
Then, later, the book talks of impotence and *whop*, skinned cock appeared like a PETA video in a fur shop. I was crying at the time.
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Middleface is back. Now she’s been crying, which means the centre of her head is red. It looks like somebody’s put a bindi on a potato. Fortunately, the icing is white chocolate, not white full stop. Phew, eh. Bet you were worried.
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quote:Originally posted by 69 Comeback Elvis: Anyway *pow*, somebody’s sucking cock in ‘Life On Mars’.
This is true. They obviously had different cocks in the seventies, though, because he pulled out so swiftly on the arrival of the Sweeney that there is no way that man had the safety barbs common to a contemporary cockle. I love this attention to detail.
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In places where there are fire ants (southern USA I think) they have invented anti-ant protective clothing which is just normal wellies or gloves with a fun-fur cuff around the top. Apparently the ants cannot crawl across fun-fur.
Also I have just discovered that the house full of boys is more expensive than my current clean, quiet sanctuary! Fucksake! Posts: 2793
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Ants work too hard to have time to have fun. thet's why the lose it with the fun-fur. No idea what it is, y'see. Alien concept. Makes them run away. My ants are yellow meadow ants. But to be honest, they're more brown than yellow. And after a paltry four days in bloogoo there's some reet fat bastards.
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ANT QUEEN: Haha! I will destroy you Bruce Willis, with your stupid smile and your constant cigarettes. We have enslaved your world thanks to our ability to build walls with our actual bodies and construct rudimentary bridges. You were the last hope for humanity, Bruce Willis, but now you are mine. Gnashy gnashy, bitey clawy thingys.
BRUCE: Yeah? How about this then, mutherfucker! [REMOVING A BOX FROM HIS DIRTY VEST] Operation, from MB Games. Fun for all the family.
ANT QUEEN: Naanaaaaaaaaaoaooaoaoaoaoaoaoaoaoao!
BRUCE: I'm going to take his funny bone out, doctor. Bzzzzz!
ANT QUEEN: Nananananannanaooooo. Etc. Dies.
BRUCE: Fun's over... (TO PINK PANTHER THEME) dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead ant, dead ant, dead aaaaaaannnt! Hahahahahaha. What fun. Hahahaha (over credits)
posted
Fun things destroy tyranny, it's a well known fact. Silly String® is used by the SAS to look for booby trap trip wires. It's so light that it lands on the wires without setting off the bomb and it's so bright an colourful that they can see it in the dark or something. It's also a personal insult to the bearded Muselmans of Araby to spray Silly String® within three miles of a holy place of pilgrimage (i.e. anywhere in Araby) on the Sabbath (i.e. any day of the week).
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Also, the Royal Marines use those squeaky clockwork dogs they always have in cheap Sunday markets to walk across minefields.
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Didn't know that about the silly string - interesting (and I looked it up so it is true).
We used to practice with trip flares for this sort of exercise - On the day we were shown how to set them up, we did as instructed then were told to walk through to trigger them off - trouble was the trip wire for mine didn't fully dislocate from the flare so I ended up doing some kind of one-legged pogo/rundhouse combination whilst 2 kilos of burning phosphorous started swinging around my leg.
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I just watched the perfect penis show. The gay dude who had filled it up with silicone so his balls were 2 feet around and his cock looked like some BBC special effects department Doctor Who monster was more than seriously fucked up.
Everyone else just had normal cocks.
I now know however why in prono men never have hardons that point upwards though, so there's a plus point.
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
quote: I now know however why in prono men never have hardons that point upwards though, so there's a plus point.
Why?? Have they all had silicone implants or something?
The other day friend #1 was idly looking at the cover of a pron DVD that friend #2 had been given for her birthday. It was called The A & O Department and had pictures of doctors and nurse and so on. Having sex obviously.
After a while she said...what does the O stand for?
Everyone: Oral! Her: Oh. conversation continues.... Her: [small voice/] The A doesn't stand for Accident does it?
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Why?? Have they all had silicone implants or something?
They have the tendon cut that anchors the penis to the body, it mean you get an erection that pokes out from the body at a right angle instead of a normal almost vertical stiffy.
It makes you wonder... Still I suppose it also frees up more positions for you to do it in..
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
Friends: Yes, it is a constantly changing league table, dependent on many factors. Im open to bribery for the higher rankings.
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quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: They have the tendon cut that anchors the penis to the body, it mean you get an erection that pokes out from the body at a right angle instead of a normal almost vertical stiffy.
You don't need a cut tendon for this - for some people it happens naturally (I assume I'm not the only one). Probably something to do with the sheer weight of it. Gravity, you know.
That or the way you carry yourself in your pants - gents who fold it up point upwards, gents who fold it down point out.
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quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Perhaps you've snapped your banjo string ?
I have once, as it happens: very painful. You're shifting focus on me here, though - isn't the banjo string the bit on the underside anchoring the foreskin to the head?
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