Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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When does a criminal conviction become significant? And if one in three has a significant criminal conviction, does that mean about half of all men have some form of criminal conviction?
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wtF? 1 in 3? except my idiot brother, i don't know anyone with a criminal conviction, significant or not. do i live in a bubble? who are these people? 1 in 3!
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quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Significant = Murder, rape or kovacs-menacing
I think he did a little more than menace kovacs. You saw the pictures. Even so, it sounds like a little playing around that got out of hand, and neither of them should feel like they shouldn't post here anymore.
I'm sorry I said you ruined the boards, Roy. All is forgiven. Come back to TMO please. Posts: 7436
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When they say 1 in 3 I think they mean thats how it would work out if Chavvy McChavscum has 15 convictions for GBH and drunk driving and those convictions were shared out over everyone in the country, not that 1 in 3 really has a serious conviction.
Or do they ?
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
quote:"Only about two cases in every hundred offences actually result in a criminal conviction.
"But even given that, one man in three in this country has a significant criminal conviction.
"That is a frightening fact.
"That is the size of the problem."
That first stat sounds about right, but this one in three thing is bollocks. It has to be. Else, I am totally for RFID and Gulags and Judge Dredd.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Think of three blokes you know and try and imagine one of them having a significant conviction.
It's quite fun. I've already decided there's a GBH committer in my circle of friends.
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quote:Originally posted by ralph: I'm sorry I said you ruined the boards, Roy. All is forgiven. Come back to TMO please.
Though I have to say, one positive that's come of this so far is that I'm no longer convinced that Roy and Ralph are the same person.
Ralph: Bearded in the Berkshires Roy: East London Chuck Norris
(Though the commonality of the beard may still cause some ongoing confusion.)
-------------------- Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains. Posts: 3201
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Kellifer a beautiful, sensitive impenetrable mind.
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quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Misc is the one who insisted on Roy being banned.
That's not the conversation I had, BM.
I'm with Kira. Let sleeping dogs lie and Roy and Kovacs can get on with life now things are out in the open, and post if they want to. I don't know Roy, I don't particularly get along with Kovacs, since the good old September Meat. Whatever happened, I don't think drunken fighting is that amusing and I'd expect Kovacs and Roy aren't too keen on it now either.
NWOD, posing with a gun is only cool if you are wearing the right underwear.
-------------------- Oh when I was in love with you, then I was clean and brave. Posts: 856
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quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Does anyone have any tips on what I could do?
It's a difficult balance to strike between giving someone the space they need and appearing to move out of their life altogether.
I'd suggest you make sure he knows you're available if he wants you - maybe ring up sometime and ask if you can come round for a cuppa, or ask him to go the cinema if he's up to going out. Don't be too 'nice' (unless that's how you are with him anyway), but try not to appear frustrated or annoyed with him doing/saying the same old things. I hate the phrase, but the best thing is to just be there for him.
Totally. Cutters are very difficult people to help, as the underlying issues can be so hard to even discover, let alone solve.
So long as he knows he has a way of being accepted, so long as he knows he can't get it wrong with at least one person in the world, he has all the resources you can give him.
I feel for you. The American black friend of mine, who I mentioned before, cuts when he's feeling down, and I've wracked my brains to think of something to do about it.
One thing that does seem to help, though, is not making a big issue of the cutting. It is, in itself, a cry for help, and if you ignore that but answer other calls for help such as talking to you, then perhaps you can help wean him off the habit.
Tough call, though.
-------------------- May I recommend the donkey in the bus shelter with a baseball bat? Posts: 344
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It might help if you try to 'normalize' the cutting. Make positive comments about your friend's scars, maybe make a few small cuts on yourself, somewhere visible, and if your friend notices just be nonchalant, "Oh those... No big deal." Buy your friend a thoughtful gift, you can get really cool little craft knives in Paperchase in a variety of funky and fashionable colours.
[ 21.03.2006, 08:28: Message edited by: Black Mask ]
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another (perhaps slightly off the wall idea) is to encourage him to go to the doctors. I realise that this is quaint, and that he's more likely to get some kind of useless drug or psych therapy rather than the more reliable combination of internet advice and food supplements, but it might be worth exhausting the obvious choices before taking him down the chinese medicine center for a wonder cure.
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who am I kidding. BM has the right idea. Maybe you could get him involved in body modification art, encourage him to use his body as a kind of canvas.
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Hey Benway, any word on the job? Also, could you change your signature? It appears to be all that remains from the great everyone has Benway's password debacle of last week...
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Actually, although I realise BM's taking the piss, he has a point...
Many cutters use the most convenient cutting tool to hand, which can sometimes be a kitchen knife. Where's the knife likely to go after it's been used in a self-harm context? Yep, back into the kitchen.
Diced chicken with that?
-------------------- May I recommend the donkey in the bus shelter with a baseball bat? Posts: 344
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i dunno if cutting himself is really something you need to deal with. let him do it. ain't gonna kill him yeah. and it offers him a release and a sense of control. what he really needs is counselling and maybe real medicine.
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quote:Originally posted by vikram: i dunno if cutting himself is really something you need to deal with. let him do it. ain't gonna kill him yeah. and it offers him a release and a sense of control. what he really needs is counselling and maybe real medicine.
Nah-ah. Cutting becomes addictive; it becomes that person's way of dealing with their feelings of depression/anger/frustration etc. Once you get into the habit of always dealing with your feelings that way, it becomes hard to deal with them any other way.
It's a steep-sided pit. Best get him out of it.
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Kellifer a beautiful, sensitive impenetrable mind.
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Sorry if I offended you by saying anti-depressants could have some nasty side-effects and they weren't for me, Benway. I'm glad they are helping you. Personally I've been doing quite well with the internet support and the food supplements.
-------------------- Oh when I was in love with you, then I was clean and brave. Posts: 856
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oh i dont know. i used to date this chick that did all that, but i was young and stupid and just left her to it. she was teacher at a school for the mentally handicapped. no, she wasnt my teacher. anyway, she was a fuck up. guilt issues and shit. hated herself. drugs, lots of drugs, and slept around, puked up, cut herself. i wonder where she is now? maybe she lives in crouch end now, all smug and happy, yeah that's what happened to her, it all worked out, yes it did.
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It's not really a cry for help. It externalises and relieves the frustration of depression. It gives you a physical focus, a result, something that may scar, but over time will close up and heal. But you do know it's going to be there forever, and in that sense it's taking control of your future, and it's like a milestone that you hope can be passed as you move forward. It allows you to conceptualise and rationalise the disarray that you're in when you're doing it. Also it's a rush, a buzz; the chemical effect of the sharp pain can bring lucid thoughts into a crowded and confused mind.
I suppose that the marks will be seen by other people, and while it's true that depression does bring about a kind of supernova of the ego (in that it kind of expands yet becomes increasingly weak and liable to implode), I don't think that self harm is always a cry for help.
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I don't think that self harm is always a cry for help.
Fair comment. I bet it's been used as a cry for help in the past before, as it is a very visible signal that you're creating, but true, the main reason, as you suggest, is probably done at the time because it brings life back into focus.
That brings home the point, though: how to wean a person off such a simple way of bringing their own life under control?
[ 21.03.2006, 08:48: Message edited by: Satine ]
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