posted
lol @ Nuts. I know it's not the most sympathetic of predicaments but I categorically was not the bad guy in that situation.
All these fuckers have degrees and they all earn about five-to-eight times the amount that I do... I was making what I thought would be a reasonable jest, given the context, but was made to feel like I was fourteen again and cruising for a severe bruising.
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Man, I thought I was the only one who loved the foot measuring thing! (surely it must have a special name- the Pedometer maybe?) Something about the way the assistant very gently pulled the tape over your foot- not too tight, but securely snug. The big shoe shop in Poole used to have a rocking horse in the kids section, which made up for the clunking, round-toed, T-bar buckle up sensible horror-clogs my mother always insisted on buying.
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I liked the sensation of socks on smooth plastic. It was almost clinical like going the doctor's, but without any threat of impending agony.
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the electric one was scary though, because you had to rely on the hope that the thing wasn't going to completely crush your poor, soft feet.
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Ooh yes. It was the way the tape measure bit fitted snugly in the arch of the foot, almost tickling but not quite. Maybe it was our first erotic experience. Surprising we're not all foot fetishists, who can be brought to the brink of orgasm by the sight of those two Start Rite children walking off into the distance.
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quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: I want to be a window cleaner. There'd be something quite entertaining about hanging off the side of a massive office building by a couple of cables, moving slowly past a seemingly endless parade of bored employees, framed behind glass. It'd be like visiting a different zoo every day.
Me dad used to do that. It's not as nice being strung from the side of a building when it's a really hot day and the building is white. You roast. And sweat. And perspire. And cook. And wish you could be in there, where the employees are looking very pleased with themselves and their air conditioning, thank you very much, Mr. Philes.
-------------------- Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: The big shoe shop in Poole used to have a rocking horse in the kids section
If you go back there, you realise that the shop is quite tiny and just appeared big because you were ever so small.
As a kid I wanted to be a writer, and I've still got some of the old stories I used to write and that my sister and father used to mock, including a werewolf one I wrote at the age of eight and to which my dad's only comment was "pacing seems a bit off". I did want to be an engineer for a bit, because I thought it meant I could just invent things. Spend all day coming up with stuff that no-one had thought of before. But then... you know. Laws of physics and all that.
These days my dream job would probably involve just sitting on my own in a room somewhere writing sarcastic comments about films and computer games. If i really had to do something that was a proper job... the thing I liked most in my - lol - career was when I was working for MottMacDonald just churning out stories for their customer magazine. I really enjoyed that. Just loads of notes and interviews and turning them into snappy corporate puff with no substance. There were loads of other things i had to do, which I hated, but that part was good.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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quote:Originally posted by ben: The gulf between childhood dreams and the soul-crushing destination which most of us have reached would be just too much - people would get blitzed and start cutting themselves and writing poetry about their shattered aspirations.
I know that. My brother-in-law wanted to be a barn owl when he was little.
-------------------- Black Mask: Have a good weekend, TMO!
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: there was an electric one? oh, boy.
yeah, it was a shiny metal trough with an automatic bar. You put your foot in and the bar would slowly move down towards your foot, stopping once it hit it. But there was always the fear that it wouldn't stop.
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I'm surprised nobody has invented a child's shoe that can grow as the child does. It'd have to make extensive use of Lycra® I suppose, with two separate sections of sole for heel end and toe end. Perhaps a system of metal rails linking the two.
I could have been an inventor. I did a degree in inventing, you know...
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What a shit idea, Misc. Inventors are such dreamers. You'd never make a shoe like that because there's no replacement value. Kids are little goldmines, constantly growing out of things and wearing them out. Why invent something which is specifically designed to allow people to give you less money. Stupid.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: What a shit idea, Misc. Inventors are such dreamers. You'd never make a shoe like that because there's no replacement value. Kids are little goldmines, constantly growing out of things and wearing them out. Why invent something which is specifically designed to allow people to give you less money. Stupid.
posted
No parent in the world is going to pay £750 for a pair of kids' shoes. You just know the next day the kid would come home shoe-less having traded them with his mate for Batman trading cards and Sunny Delight.
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Yeah but unless they're made from carbon-kevlar, lined with lead, covered with high durability rubber, even if the shoe were physically able to fit around the foot of the child, the child would inevitably wear them out in 6 months regardless. Kids aren't like us, they don't just schlep about the office all day on soft carpets.
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What if the kid's at school and is going to play some sport? Or go swimming? And at £750 how do they offer better value than just buying normal shoes as necessary, which would offer more versatility? Even if you wound up spending £750 on regular shoes over the course of five or so years, you'd be getting a brand new pair of shoes every few months, rather than spending the same on one pair of shoes that got crudded up and worn out.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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They're made of carbon nanotubes. So fuck you both!
Also, they have retractable wheels, pop-up headlamps and a range of replaceable skins (gym, formal, wellington, diving flippers, etc) and accessories including an OLED screen which allows the wearer to sneakily watch cartoons during lessons.
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I'm sorry but the only future I can see for these shoes is tepid initial sales followed by a series of incresaingly desperate marketing promotions - like offering, with every pair bought, £10 worth of downloads from Mad Dang's Shit MP3 Van.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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Also, they have a paedo detector in the sole. Any parent who doesn't buy these shoes is basically asking for their child to get kidnapped and raped-to-death¹. A double page advertisement spread in the Daily Mail should be all the marketing these puppies need.
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: (would the paedo detector cause the shoes to automatically kick the paedo to death?)
No I think they would have a wireless broadband connection which upon abduction would simultaneously and grossly inacurately notify all local hate mobs of the local suspect (usually a paedeatrician, podiatrist or pedantic person) and their home address, telephone number and so on, re-write tomorrows tabloids of the heinous crime and heroic murder of an innocent party, and advertise the hasbro 'baberape' alarm system to all parents and teachers throughout the western world.
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when i was a kid i wanted to join the army and be like my dad. then, luckily before realizing that i'd be no use in the army ("do you really need to be shouting at me?") i worked out i was colour blind so that was out. then i sort of bumbled along into science. when i was doing science i used to think about a record store. i'm still thinking about that. i think that might work.
i feel i missed the property boat though. maybe i should buy something in croatia.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Approximately 70% of my conversations over the Bank Holiday weekend were made up of house prices/ home improvement/ the impact of the congestion charge on house prices and decluttering. The remaining 30% was mostly bitching about people off off the internet, the Manic Street Preachers and Berlin (city, not band). Nathan would probably have committed hari kari after five minutes in my presence.
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Misc, man, you need to watch The Man in the White Suit before embarking on your madcap shoe venture.
Actually, what about a madcap? If you were mad, you'd wear it, and it would have little probes and things on the inside, sensors and shit, and it would make you not mad if you wore it all day. Possibly.
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damo maybe you could sell yourself to tresor as their resident scientist. you could sit at a little booth in the chillout room and explain science things to people who were on loads of drugs, like how you blung up the worms' dna with injections of solid gold or whatever it was you did. ime techno is the International Music of Geeks fo' sheezy, i bet theyd be bang up for it.
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