quote:Originally posted by ben: It's just dreadful. People should be avoiding checklists of approved activities - not playing catch-up with mythical golden couples who seem to have 'done it all'. It's all just aspirational wank intended to fill you with yearning for shit you have to shell out for.
True, but what else are you going to stick in your Sunday supplement when the article on "What's on Gordon Brown's iPod?" falls through at the last minute?
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quote:Originally posted by ben: Does anyone else find this 1000 [blank or blanks] to [blank] Before You Die trope a bit depressing. I mean, there are some good films out there, but if I only had a couple of thousand hours to live I sure as hell wouldn't waste it gawping at movies. Similarly, most of the other lists involving stuff you have to dutifully tick off before you depart this worldly plane seem to involve either wanking off dolphins or going to Niagara Falls with all the other dull old retired fuckers.
It's just dreadful. People should be avoiding checklists of approved activities - not playing catch-up with mythical golden couples who seem to have 'done it all'. It's all just aspirational wank intended to fill you with yearning for shit you have to shell out for.
Ben I think you've said this before, but yeah I hate that shit. In fact I'm going to change the title of the thread.
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Maybe if these lists were bound up with some kind of evil spell, so if you do actually watch every film on the 1000 Films You MUST Watch Before You Die list, you actually die, right there and then.
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Booker: And so as history slowly places it into some kind of perspective, a few things about the Vietnam War have become clear. It was a war that never should have begun, and a country we never should have entered. And as thousands of victims died without really understanding why. Mainly because the reasons for the war were beyond any rules of logic. On Wednesday we'll sing patriotic songs and pretend I said none of the above.
BOOKER JUMPS IN FRONT OF A TRAIN. THE TRAIN SCREAMS AS IT REALISES IT IS CHUCK NORRIS PLAYING THE LEAD. THE SPACE-TIME CONTINIUM IMPLODES BUT THE NOISE IS DROWNED OUT BY CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICKING AMTRACK FOR DARING TO AIM A TRAIN AT HIM
quote:me Maybe if these lists were bound up with some kind of evil spell, so if you do actually watch every film on the 1000 Films You MUST Watch Before You Die list, you actually die, right there and then.
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You know, the credits are rolling on film 1000, Brief Encounter, you feel an overwhelming sense of smugisfaction followed by an invisible hand on your back and the defeaning scream of a whistle.
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Gordon, James, and Henry: [Gordon, James, and Henry are blocking the entrance to the shed] Get out! Duck: Stop fooling! I'm tired. Gordon, James, and Henry: So are we. We're tired of you. We like Diesel. We don't like you. You tell tales about us to the trucks. Duck: I don't! Gordon, James, and Henry: You do! Duck: I don't! Gordon, James, and Henry: You do! Thomas: [eyes spinning wildly] What's going on here?
RINGO STARR PUSHES THOMAS UNDER HIMSELF etc
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quote:me Maybe if these lists were bound up with some kind of evil spell, so if you do actually watch every film on the 1000 Films You MUST Watch Before You Die list, you actually die, right there and then.
Ideally, by being pushed in front of a train.
And if you don't watch all of them you'll never die! At the age of 7000, finally, driven half mad by curiosity, you crack and watch Brief Encounter.
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: Booker: And so as history slowly places it into some kind of perspective, a few things about the Vietnam War have become clear. It was a war that never should have begun, and a country we never should have entered. And as thousands of victims died without really understanding why. Mainly because the reasons for the war were beyond any rules of logic. On Wednesday we'll sing patriotic songs and pretend I said none of the above.
BOOKER JUMPS IN FRONT OF A TRAIN. THE TRAIN SCREAMS AS IT REALISES IT IS CHUCK NORRIS PLAYING THE LEAD. THE SPACE-TIME CONTINIUM IMPLODES BUT THE NOISE IS DROWNED OUT BY CHUCK NORRIS ROUNDHOUSE KICKING AMTRACK FOR DARING TO AIM A TRAIN AT HIM
LOL! I still find that Chuck Norris shit funny!
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quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: And if you don't watch all of them you'll never die! At the age of 7000, finally, driven half mad by curiosity, you crack and watch Brief Encounter.
Excellent! This could make for an excellent episode of Morse, where the killer is sneaking around Oxford with a portable DVD player.
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quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: Probably better if he's flying around Oxford with his tiny pygmy mates in a remote controlled helicopter.
With a portable DVD-player strapped to the undercarriage, firing blowdarts into their victims to render them inert and then playing them the 1000 movies-you-must-see-before-you-die at 32x FF.
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INT: A dusty old living room - the detritus of nine hundred and ninety nine watched DVD's, smoked cigrettes, drunken bottles of wine, eaten pizzas etc...
The thousandth DVD runs its course, the credits roll on Brief Encounter.
We turn around and see an extremely old couple sat watching the screen as it fades to black...
OLD MAN: Happy?
OLD WOMAN: No, not really...
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quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: INT: A dusty old living room - the detritus of nine hundred and ninety nine watched DVD's, smoked cigrettes, drunken bottles of wine, eaten pizzas etc...
The thousandth DVD runs its course, the credits roll on Brief Encounter.
We turn around and see an extremely old couple sat watching the screen as it fades to black...
OLD MAN: Happy?
OLD WOMAN: No, not really...
OLD MAN: That's probably because we've never visited Sepik River, Papua New Guinea; Easter Island, Chile and the Galapagos Islands, Ecuador.
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: Any suggestions as to how?
Nothing springs to mind, no.
I imagine it would be incredibly liberating to be told you had six months to live. You'd remember that six months for the rest of your life, even if it was from inside a prison cell while serving multiple life sentences for middle-management-ocide.
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quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: INT: A dusty old living room - the detritus of nine hundred and ninety nine watched DVD's, smoked cigrettes, drunken bottles of wine, eaten pizzas etc...
The thousandth DVD runs its course, the credits roll on Brief Encounter.
We turn around and see an extremely old couple sat watching the screen as it fades to black...
OLD MAN: Happy?
OLD WOMAN: No, not really...
OLD MAN: That's probably because we've never visited Sepik River, Papua New Guinea; Easter Island, Chile and the Galapagos Islands, Ecuador.
OLD WOMAN: Sigh.
JOHN BRANDRICK BURSTS INTO THE ROOM, RAPES THE OLD WOMAN, THROWS THE OLD MAN UNDER A TRAIN. THE OLD FOLKS SCREAM BUT THEY ARE DROWNED OUT BY THE TRAIN WHISTLE. BRANDRICK TEARS OFF HIS SHIRT, THROWS HIS SPECTACLES ASIDE, SNORTS A LINE OF COCAINE AND PUNCHES A BOAR CLEAN OFF HIS CONNING TOWER.
[ 08.05.2007, 10:33: Message edited by: Black Mask ]
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and scarey as hell - the scene where they pile out of the car and face him by the garages, is funny, but there is such a sense of menace or something horrible about to happen that it made me very very tense indeed.
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quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: and scarey as hell - the scene where they pile out of the car and face him by the garages
Only Sonny gets out of the car. I thought one of the best bits was in the finale where Richard reveals his mixed feelings towards his brother.
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as i may have mentioned before, my favourite bits of dead man's shoes were mainly the bits with paddy considine's lovely face in. when he put the gasmask on i was very downcast. he is so dishy sometimes when i look at pictures of him my brain makes this lustful noise which is a bit like a cow lowing in a barn.
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