posted
lol, when I stayed over my friend's house and he had sky, I was sleeping in the lounge, and spent about an hour and a half making love to myself whilst listening to the locked adult channels. Imagine my surprise when his parents informed me, my friend, and my friend's sister the next morning that the tv in their bedroom was picking up whatever channel was being watched in the lounge.
Froopy - I'm thinking that the dickless members of the forum try to frig themselves off to some hardcore banging action, and report back. As a control, they should also try this with non pornographic material*, and have a session using their no doubt lively imaginations. We can send the results to the Kinsey Insitute, and at worse, get a channel 5 documentary out of it.
*Due to the findings of the recent televised Kinsey backed study, this should not include Monkeys making out.
[ 28.10.2005, 13:42: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: spent about an hour and a half making love to myself
* looks at benway with new found respect, and a little fear *
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
posted
Benway with your Sky confession and your liking for erotic fiction, I think you may be my wanking soultwin, or schizophrenic other half. You are ying and I am yang, or something. Are you sure you're not me? Have we been in the same place at the same time? Did anyone see us both?
posted
Men always seem to be on the back foot when it comes to wanking though don't they. I mean, OJ's "flippant remark" demonstrates nicely what I think a large number of women seem to think about male self service - i.e. that male sexuality is crude and superficial while female sexuality is deep and sophisticated. Not to mention empowering.
Interesting too that it's perfectly acceptable for a woman to bring herself off using a giant plastic cock, while for a man to use a masturbation aid is seen as a fairly seedy or shameful act.
I'm not really drawing any conclusions from this, I just find it interesting the contrast between perceptions of femal and male sexuality with regards to masturbation.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: *waits to be accused of whining*
I'm not going to accuse you of whining, but you have made me feel seedy and shameful. I may never be able to pleasure myself again. Posts: 7436
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Interesting too that it's perfectly acceptable for a woman to bring herself off using a giant plastic cock, while for a man to use a masturbation aid is seen as a fairly seedy or shameful act.
I brought this subject up in 2002 in this very forum, and was never given a good answer. It was called 'The fetishism of female desire', and went on to talk about how female sexuality has become commodified under the guise of empowerment.I posited that women are now expected to spend money in order to realise their sexual potential to themselves, to externalise it in the form of clothing and sensual comfort that all costs money. It was all centered around the shameful and backwards television program "Sex And Cities", where three ropey looking women and one okay one had Robin Asquith style sexual mishaps. Unfortunately, Misc started a thread about funny looking parrots in Life around the same time, and my efforts sank without a trace.
[ 28.10.2005, 13:57: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Yeah its ok, I've never watched it on my own though, usually as a back drop for other *ahem* activities.
However, in answer to VOP's orginal question...
I dont think there is anything remotely perverted about standard porn. I'm personally not a fan of strip clubs but to be honest I dont think anyone will be surprised at that. I do find the whole strip/club/lapdancing thing a bit tacky but then I would also say the same thing about male strippers. Seeing something like the dream boys, is more likely to make me heave than it is to make me horny.
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posted
I think it is awful that the porn targeted to women is full of all this extraneous plot. If I wanted that I'd be a daytime TV fan, and I'm not. Porn is about fantasy, so for me, it has to be a little more than normal life sex.
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posted
I agree with Ringo and Benway. I know "me too" is a pretty poor post, but just to let any girls know that if you want to argue with me, you'll have to go thru them first, OK.
I just watched Superman II and it got me feeling real punchy.
posted
I'm confused as to what you actually agree with - that there's a double standard? or that you want to use masterbatory aids?
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posted
That there's a double standard whereby women using vibrators tend to be seen seen as an empowered, cheeky, modern, fun, you-go-girl, whereas men using the more subtle, natural and sophisticated means of their own hand to achieve orgasm tend to be seen seen as sad, pathetic, sordid loners and losers. The term wanker mainly applies to men and to male masturbation, and it has negative connotations. Bean flicker is not an insult.
posted
I still wouldn't want to shout, "Oi! Bean-flicker!" across the street at me though.
I don't think that people think that blokes wanking are sad, loner, losers anymore. I think everyone accepts it's just a normal part of life now and not something that never is to be mentioned in public, evah!
I'd kind of forgotten that wanker, the insult, originally had anything to do with wanking. If someone calls a bloke a wanker, I don't think, "oh, they wank a lot" I just think he's a bit of a git or something. I think it's probably lost it's original insult meaning somewhere along the line.
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posted
No, "wanker" doesn't literally mean that you wank a lot, but just as some women object to the word "c*nt" because it uses their sexual parts as an insult, the root implication is that you [a man] are pathetic because you wank a lot, because you can't find anyone to have sex with.
posted
Maybe at the root of that double standard is the idea that woman choose to have sex while men need to have sex. Therefore, a woman pleasuring herself must have wanted it that way and is not just substituting for something she can't get.
Most people feel like it is easier for a woman to get laid than a man, right?
Not sure if I do...and anyway, I think a man self stimulating is sexy.
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posted
I think it's partly the idea that a man masturbating is fulfilling a stereotype, or at least an expected behaviour -- we have had jokes about men polishing the sugarplum, bashing the bishop, choking the snake, making Mr One-Eye cough custard &c for many years -- whereas women are breaking a taboo and being "daringly" actively and independently sexual by masturbating and by mentioning that they do.
Because of the greater taboo around female masturbation, until recently at least, for a woman to say outright that she's going to give herself an orgasm still has some overtones of taking sexuality into her own hands and almost performing a feminist act.
Maybe the gradual increase in joke-terms for a woman's masturbation -- we used to only use coy, 70s phrases like "pleasuring herself", but now as I noted, we have "flick the bean" in quite common currency -- shows that the female activity is becoming more equivalent to the male, ie. considered normal, funny and sometimes perhaps sexy for others, rather than a wonderful journey into self-exploration.
posted
"flick the bean" isn't common over here - can't think of any little joke ways of describing female masturbation actually.
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quote:Originally posted by rooster: "flick the bean" isn't common over here - can't think of any little joke ways of describing female masturbation actually.
it's more common than you think
eta: i meant that in a joking, everyone-else-is-doing-it way. which obviousy was not conveyed well in the above one-liner.
posted
I think the relative lack of any joke terms for female masturbation, compared with the volumes for male masturbation, indicates that culturally we still don't see both activities in the same way.
quote:Originally posted by rooster: Yes, see above as to why I think we don't see the activities in the same way.
What, this.
quote:Maybe at the root of that double standard is the idea that woman choose to have sex while men need to have sex. Therefore, a woman pleasuring herself must have wanted it that way and is not just substituting for something she can't get.
Most people feel like it is easier for a woman to get laid than a man, right?
That may be a reason but my immediate feeling was that the difference lay in women only recently becoming more self-reliant in terms of "owning" their sexuality. It wasn't so many decades ago that women didn't expect to have orgasms during sex, let alone working out the best toy to give them the best orgasm on their own. As it's assumed that men have been familiar with and in control of their own sexual response for far longer, it doesn't seem nearly as "progressive" for a man to masturbate. For a woman to do it almost has, or anyway had, political connotations.
posted
By "presumably" you seem to be saying you believe a man has no control over whether he masturbates or not -- that it's a need. I don't think this is any more true for men than it is for women. I think that's just a cultural box men and women have been put into; traditionally, historically, men are driven by desires, whereas women have none of their own. That's not a generous view of either gender.
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: That may be a reason but my immediate feeling was that the difference lay in women only recently becoming more self-reliant in terms of "owning" their sexuality.
I think you're onto something here. Historically female sexuality has generally been something there simply to serve men. i.e. a woman is not a sexual creature unless she has a man to please, in which case she fulfils that role. This probably explains to a large part why a lot of women view the use of pornography as crude, and lacking in self reliance or imagination, because for the modern empowered woman I think it's very important that sexuality starts within and not without. And of course it helps a lot of you feel slightly resentful towards men for centuries of sexual oppression, to cast yourself in a better light and demean male sexuality as little more than a simple bodily function like eating or going to the toilet.
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posted
Ugh, a silly discussion, but they are synonyms anyway: here.
Either way, I presumed this is what people think because I don't know for sure (I would know for sure if it was me), and I thought my comments earlier illustrated the fact that I personally don't believe men have to have sex or masturbate or whatever and women don't.
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posted
Well, OK: when someone says "presumably" I take it to mean "I presume", whereas when they say "supposedly", I take it to mean "according to what others believe."
The crater was presumably created by an alien landing seems to imply that you personally believe aliens created the crater.
The crater was supposedly created by an alien landing seems to imply that others have said as much, but that you're sceptical.
I see your link backs you up, but this would be the common sense distinction as I hear it. Perhaps I'm wrong. Anyway it is off-topic though that doesn't really matter on TMO these days, as long as the spin-off topic is interesting.
posted
By the way, do you actually think all these words mean the same thing as presumably, or indeed each other?
quote:Synonyms: absolutely, apparently, assuredly, clearly, doubtlessly, easily, for sure, indisputably, most likely, of course, ostensibly, positively, precisely, presumably, probably, seemingly, supposedly, surely, truly, undoubtedly, unequivocally, unquestionably, without doubt
Supposedly isn't a synonym for unquestionably or precisely! I take back my admission of possible error.
This is what I meant on the other thread about let's trust to our own ideas and intelligence instead of trying to back it up with inadequate internet references!
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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