posted
I reckon this newbie's going to be brilliant. He'll be like Seth Cohen only... 35. He might have had a long relationship behind him which sadly drew to a close, but it's ok, he's not fucked up about it. He's ready to settle down, but hasn't lost his thirst for knowledge. He gave up smoking when he turned 30 and doesn't regret it. He found an Eames chair in a skip and he's going to give it to the woman he's going to marry...
It's no good, I can't paint a word-picture of a grown-up yet hott man. I'm really trying. I'm so keen and so ready, but there's no images in my mind to draw on. I can draw you a skateboy in an instant, but a non-skate Man?... it's not working. GAH.
Anyway. In 50 words or more (no one-word answers please!) What do you think this newbie's going to be like? What do you want this newbie to be like? If you could create the ideal newbie - the thing we need right here, right now, to invigorate the boards - what would it be? Posts: 6175
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: I would make a caustic remark, but I'm not sure if I've been here long enough to be annoyed at newbie's horrible posting stylee.
I'd wait until you reach 500, just to be safe.
Posts: 14015
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: I would make a caustic remark, but I'm not sure if I've been here long enough to be annoyed at newbie's horrible posting stylee.
I'd wait until you reach 500, just to be safe.
Thank you for your guidance in this matter.
-------------------- Call that a contribution? Posts: 1162
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by London: In 50 words or more (no one-word answers please!) What do you think this newbie's going to be like? What do you want this newbie to be like? If you could create the ideal newbie - the thing we need right here, right now, to invigorate the boards - what would it be?
This is gonna be the best poster evs. He's gonna be witty, charming, slightly cheeky, but with a wry smile and a glint in his eye when he makes Thorn look like a clumsy schoolboy. Ben will cower at his earthy nature. He'll have a home library that makes Waterstones look like a stack of pornography in the water closet. He will touch damo on the head whilst he is having a nashing nashville hick hissy fit and soothe him like an indian chieftain calms a savage bear. The Mexican gusset whump of the forum femmes will be in 5.1 sound. He'll be all these things, until Darryn checks his IP.
posted
I was wondering about the use of the word 'unsung'. An unsung hero is a person who has acted in a heroic manner but is not recognised or championed as such in the local community, yes? So what is an unsung friend? Someone who acts in a friendly manner but is not recognised or championed as a friend by the recipient of that manner? Does Middle fail leave his friends 'unsung' as a general rule? Does he fail to respect them? It sounds as though Middle is all take and no give. It sounds as a warning bell. Be-ware! Be-ware!
Posts: 6175
| IP: Logged
Remaining initially assexual - it never pays to flirt too soon - AHMNWG will tease posters out of the woodwork by starting witty yet slightly intellectual threads on Life. A mixture of creative writing tasks that will re-fuel jonesy and elvis and debates that get London dusting off the keyboard, AHMNWG will ensure that Life is for living and that the F5 key is never used in vain. His introductory period will culminate in a Christmas thread, perhaps a TMOPanto, thus firming up AHMNWG's alpha status for 2005.
What AHMNWG will be like
Like PTIYPASI and MNIJ before him, AHMNWG will regret his choice of username. He will have to work harder to become known because people will confuse him with MINJ when they skim read threads, and really what does AHMNWG sound like in a readers head anyway?
AHMNWG will sooner or later show his area of interest - music, computers, websites, comics, films - and will hang out in Media Junkies, Music or Web, talking small scale with fellow fans. He might have an argument with Boy Racer about who directed the most obscure Japanese horror film, or compare notes on bands with Misc, but it's unlikely he will infuse Life with, well, life. He will contribute to other threads, the ones on TV programmes, and the funny ones about jobs and wanking, but it will be at least 2008 before kovacs recognises him apart from MINJ and NWOD.
posted
This new Modge is quite intimidating. I feel like she has been put on a lathe and sanded into a cruel, accurate arrow shape that always hits the bullseye.
Remaining initially assexual - it never pays to flirt too soon - AHMNWG will tease posters out of the woodwork by starting witty yet slightly intellectual threads on Life. A mixture of creative writing tasks that will re-fuel jonesy and elvis and debates that get London dusting off the keyboard, AHMNWG will ensure that Life is for living and that the F5 key is never used in vain. His introductory period will culminate in a Christmas thread, perhaps a TMOPanto, thus firming up AHMNWG's alpha status for 2005.
Yeah we should all dream of having a newbie who can inspire the boards to a "TMOPanto". For the sake of the little Jesus, what low ideals you have! Maybe you also fondly hope that this newbie will reinvigorate the "From Dusk Til Dawn" marathon of embarrassment, where the community's less-talented writers pretended to be interacting in a pub, or the TMO Murder thread, which was like listening to a bunch of no-hopers from a "Find Your Prose Voice" creative workshop playing Cluedo on the radio.
"ANHMWG" has already totally nixed all chances of being a decent contributor to this board, through
a) wannabe offhand daddio tone, like "lay it on me, I heard this was a place to hang out", like Cher's gay friend in Clueless wandering into her dad's house in a Sinatra hat and drawling "nice pile a'bricks you got here."
b) starting a "hello I'm new thread", surely a sign that a contributor has nothing to add but the novelty of their own appearance.
c) writing posts that manage almost supernaturally to be without any content whatsoever -- like spiderwebs, there are thin lines sketched around gaps, between solids, but try to grab one of this newbie's contributions and your hand will break right through it, snatching damp space.
What this newbie will be like:
-- will respond rather than starting anything solid and worthwhile of his own. Board persona will be based solely around interaction, as with FPP: probably along the lines of
quote:Hey, no need to shoot me down.
So I'm new, don't know the score? Maybe you show me the ropes, we settle in.
Is that how it's done on here? Skeedaddle and maybe later I'll check in for more.
Looks like a cool joint.
-- will make FPP seem like a more established part of the community by contrast, and probably indirectly do him favours in that respect by being more irritating of two weevils.
-- will engage in chat (tone: flirty/enigmatic) with those most open to that activity: this chat could conceivably stretch to four pages at times, giving the false impression that the thread in question is the most interesting and "popular" on the board.
posted
Sorry to take so long to reply, just got back.
Firstly I am no one’s alter-ego. Duplicity takes a patience I can only boggle at.
I’ve never once dipped my skanky toe into the foetid waters of any online shanty towns of disparate intellect huddling, not even the ones where shooting fat fish in a bucolic barrel is where most wannabe wordsmiths like to go to cut their teeth (not a clue as to my leanings, more a direction of my distraction), but heard tell of the legendary whip-crack banter and drip-dry droll badinage here, so shit on a stick without the stick, you can only imagine my glee that this forum is of knicker-bunchingly nirvanaesque proportions.
I will, no doubt, being an uninitiated newbie, blunder into conforming to every mal-nourished stereotype the big guns have so portentously saddled me with, but I will be lacing up that strap-on of responsibility giddy in the knowledge that even the most sanctimonious scoffing pricks that populate the hinterland of electronic debate can be polluted by the bottom-feeding plankton of the lowest order that I grudgingly represent.
Kick me or ignore me, I float on your tender mercies like a cheap British submarine sold to the gullible Canadians.
-------------------- "Can you smell that?" Posts: 20
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: the TMO Murder thread, which was like listening to a bunch of no-hopers from a "Find Your Prose Voice" creative workshop playing Cluedo on the radio.
Crikey, you've changed your tone. At the time you made the comment "Is anyone else loathe to post now because the standard has been set way too high?" This sudden 'Actually I think the murder thread was over-rated and ghastly' Emperor's New Clothes stance won't wash with me, sonny. I remember everything.
Posts: 13758
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by London: In 50 words or more (no one-word answers please!) What do you think this newbie's going to be like? What do you want this newbie to be like? If you could create the ideal newbie - the thing we need right here, right now, to invigorate the boards - what would it be?
This is gonna be the best poster evs. He's gonna be witty, charming, slightly cheeky, but with a wry smile and a glint in his eye when he makes Thorn look like a clumsy schoolboy. Ben will cower at his earthy nature. He'll have a home library that makes Waterstones look like a stack of pornography in the water closet. He will touch damo on the head whilst he is having a nashing nashville hick hissy fit and soothe him like an indian chieftain calms a savage bear. The Mexican gusset whump of the forum femmes will be in 5.1 sound.
Sadly, despite all of this, 3 weeks later he will be in jail for attempting to suck off a policeman on Hampstead Heath, for (not much) money.
posted
Middle is my new favourite Newbie! I'm so fickle, but he seems rather mature and a cut above the usual rash of male newbs. I wonder who's friend he is?
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Crikey, you've changed your tone. At the time you made the comment "Is anyone else loathe to post now because the standard has been set way too high?" This sudden 'Actually I think the murder thread was over-rated and ghastly' Emperor's New Clothes stance won't wash with me, sonny. I remember everything.
You might be right but I suspect what happened is that people were not loathe to post, and cheerfully failed to meet the standard set by early contributions, leading to a sorry falling-off. I'm sure you'll be only to glad to check the thread though in order to prove me wrong
Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: ["Is anyone else loathe to post now because the standard has been set way too high?"
quote: I suspect what happened is that people were not loathe to post
Isn't that loth or loath in this context? Genuine question: I have come across usage of 'loth', 'loath' and 'loathe' used like this and I thought only the former two were accurate. Bne?
Posts: 5776
| IP: Logged
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Middle is my new favourite Newbie! I'm so fickle, but he seems rather mature and a cut above the usual rash of male newbs. I wonder who's friend he is?
just got around to readin this thread. was too busy daydreaming about a social life outside of tmo(land). i don't believe in newbies. maybe Misc invented him for his world.
Posts: 1203
| IP: Logged
posted
Grumpy old bunch of ninny nancy-pants numbfucks aren’t ya.
So what do all you towering intellectual colossi do then? Or is it sickeningly embarrassing to ask outright and not play a game of crypto leap-frog.
Remember I am a new boy, and I have no evidence to think that you guys are ever going to be anything other than a standoffish clique. So is it possible to make inroads through the treacle of smuggity smug smug smug assumptive hectoring and actually have a conversation, or are all message boards doomed to only ever serve as self-aggrandising mirrors to the vanity of touch-typers?
I would also like to add that I relish the chance to live down to all of your expectations AND I’m dyslexic, so spell check will let me down from time to time.
Come and have a go if you think hard enough.
-------------------- "Can you smell that?" Posts: 20
| IP: Logged