Put some fucking effort in will you.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Or is that it? You meet Black Mask in person and it's all over is it?
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
There's nothing more to say? Nothing more to discuss? Right, anyone seen Big Nuts today? Class? ANYONE SEEN BIG NUTS TODAY?
what? why are you laughing,... oh I get it, Michelles seen big nuts today has she.. hahah laugh out loud etc.. Michelle's a dirty slut we all know it, so JIMMY Big Nuts is absent is he? ok, I'll put a cross on the register.
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Who drew a penis on the blackboard? Not blackboard is it? That's not politically correct now is it? OK OK calm down class. So who drew a PENIS on the Colouredboard? Come on own up, Darryn this looks like one of yours, anything to say sunshine?
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
some bigger boys did it and then ran away
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
Like Jean Claude Van Damme touching himself, or a faceless man in photo's stealing people - too many people meeting Black Mask screws with time - all those people are trapped in a pub, vomitting on each others shoes while BM laughes like Ken Dodd, a feather duster spinning wildly, vomit, feathers, vomit and feathers... around and around and around...
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
That's very good, great imagery there. I award you 1 credit Benny. The rest of you should be ashamed of yourselves.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Sir? Sir!
Ralph's wanking on the other thread, sir!
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
*Awakes from coma*
*croaks*
*staggers out of hospital and onto weirdly deserted, rubbish-strewn streets of London*
*lurches against news kiosk - snatches up a paper from the disordered heap - reads - faint glimmer of realisation kindles then fades in bloodshot, sunken eyes*
*a single tear forms, hangs supended for a moment, then spalshes onto pavement*
*drags self across Westminster bridge, while an old crow watches from a lamp post*
*stumbles through Soho - all the pubs and bars have names like 'The Terminal Zone' and 'Event Horizon' and 'Ground Zero'*
*cries out as crosses an invisible threshold of unbearable psychic evil*
*arrives at the Cask & Glass*
*bleep-bleep - receives a txt*
> HARD LINES, ****, YOU MISSED US. I CAN ONLY EVER REVEAL MYSELF TO A FORUM ONCE. YOU KNOW WHY? LOOK AROUND YOU LOL BITCH. Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
That SOAB killed the fucking forum...
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Sir? Sir!
Ralph's wanking on the other thread, sir!
teachers pet
beats the crap out of misc after scool Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Ok class dismissed. Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
*gulp*
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Sorry TMO I've been genuinely working today.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
yeah, I have had the bastard day from hell, too. I have about 8 days worth of work to do in 3.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: beats the crap out of misc after scool
Right, I'm getting home schooled from now on.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: beats the crap out of misc after scool
Right, I'm getting home schooled from now on.
Yeah, like your parents love you enough to make that kind of sacrifice. Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: beats the crap out of misc after scool
Right, I'm getting home schooled from now on.
Ooh... I'd avoid that, if possible. You'll just end up with your neurotic parents guilt-tripping you about 'sacrifices' when you grow up, when it was their decision to ruin your life in the first place.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Ooh... I'd avoid that, if possible. You'll just end up with your neurotic parents guilt-tripping you about 'sacrifices' when you grow up, when it was their decision to ruin your life in the first place.
lol. I had no idea you were so well educated on the subject of homeschooling.
I'm sure your parents still loved you Black Mask, even if they chose to give you less than an ideal education.
[ 11.06.2007, 13:06: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I've been working too. I'm on the train now using wi-fi and shit. I coughed up five pouns for this connection, in the hope that catching up with TMO would keep me busy for an hour train journey. I think I've read all the new posts already. I guess you get out what you've put in, and I've put in lurker level nothing over the last few weeks, so fuck me.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Quiet train carriage, nothing to report really. There's a woman a few seats down with a face like a lippoed hippo and a fringe that looks like it's been cut by Muhammad Ali whilst the great man attempted to break a personal best in the log roll event. She's reading a Hello style magazine with that familiar red box title thing. It seems to say 'Top Santa', but I can't see properly. Top Santa sounds like one of the special journals featured in the last round of Have I Got News For You. I don't know who the top Santa is in this publication. I'm guessing Tim Allen beats Richard Attenborough in the final after a hard fought semi with Billy Bob Thornton. The cover has fallen open and I can see the words "Over 40" and the back cover features two cherubic children in matching powder blue cable knitwear. From that back picture, it looks like the kind of magazine an old woman at the bus stop might be reading in Life on Mars, just before Gene Hunt pulls up in a Ford Bastard, kicks a man to death and says, "You're safe from this dirty nonce now darlin', give us a sherbet lemon" before reaching into her handbag and swiping from her quarter of sweets. It's the summer special of Top Santa. I've just spotted that bit. I'm figuring Top Santa is a magazine that makes you travel through time or something: the knitwear seventies angels on the back is a dead giveaway and the reader's fringe has been done pre Iron Age, with a flint or a crudely sharpened raptor spine or a hairy man's green teeth. I can't see the guy who she's opposite properly but he's got a monk's head and a Del Boy I.D. bracelet. My money is on them both getting off at Croydon. Or she might alight in 1962, using her Top Santa powers. That's all for now, if Captain Jack Harkness arrives to take the Top Santa magazine back to Cardiff to lock it in a vault for the good of the planet ("because hey, you guys just aren't ready") and then fucks everyone on the train with his immortal space cock, while grinning like a chimp and screaming "Yeah! Yeah you dirty Josephs, you are hot hot hot!" I'll report back.
****
MESSAGE WAS SENT BY A WIFI CONNECTED LAPTOP. WHICH IS BASICALLY A BIG BLACKBERRY. PIE SIZED SUPER FRUIT 2.0>>>>>>>>>>>>
[ 12.06.2007, 00:15: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Man, Top Santa has just fallen open on a page titled 'The secret to pretty feet'. And she's... ripped it out and put it in her handbag.
And another one - 'Make you feet sweet.' She's put that one in her bag too.
Man, I don't think this time travelling fringe beast should be allowed to carry the secret of pretty feet in her epoch-hopping handbag. Who knows what damage she could do to the space time continuum with sexy feet, a de-juiced water horse face and hair like Stig of the dump touring with Hawkwind.
Fuck John Simm. She da Mistress. TIME TUNNEL TITLES: WOO OOO MUSIC.
God I'm bored.
[ 12.06.2007, 00:16: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: Put some fucking effort in will you.
How about de-lurking after what must be at least a year - is that enough effort?
Hello, chummers. I've been busy, and posting on B3TA instead. I still love you though, just not in that kind of way. Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I looked at your site the other day. Alright, When?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
lol - good old Jonesy.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: I looked at your site the other day. Alright, When?
Actually, yes, I am. Thanks for asking.
I got back from Northern China last week. Now there's an "interesting" place.
I discovered that over here in Blighty we are used to Southern Chinese food: The Northern Chinese diet seems to consist entirely of fat, noodles, fat, rice, fat, tofu cooked in meat juices to render it useless to vegetarians, fat, cigarettes and fat.
Very odd.
I discovered lots of other things, too. I might write a travelogue. Watch out Paul Merton.
[ 12.06.2007, 11:29: Message edited by: Doctor Agamemnon When ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
sounds a bit rank.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
Not half as rank as the national hobby "Let's Spread Tuberculosis!"
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
savages.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
There were good bits, too.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I realised a few months ago that I never got my BCG injection, so I'm at risk from tuberculosis. Little snippet of information for anyone looking for an untraceable way to do me in. There must be quite a few of you now.
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
especially as its now MULTIDRUG RESISTANT.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Doctor Agamemnon When: There were good bits, too.
the "crispy duck" in your "set menu".
You know what, I went to Chinatown recently, pissed, and went to what I thought looked like a proper restaurant. It wasn't on Gerrard Street, it was just off it, had a fucking bridge going over a pond in the front which said to me said it was a different class of place. Anyway, got in, and because we were pissed, we just ordered a twenty quid set menu, and it was fucking terrible. One of the worst I've had, you know, and with food on top between the two of us with beer it was like £80. I mean this was worth about £15 quid tops, this food. I was so angry that when they asked me if I enjoyed the meal I just kind of looked down and said "'s'alright..." in the manner of a kid who's just been awarded the job of washing up after sunday dinner, scrubbing the grills from the oven and all that. Then she did this really loud laugh, as if I'd just fallen for a practical joke in front of her, which I suppose I had. I tried to back up my statement and make myself look a bit less of a sucker by then going "well...you know...typical chinatown...", but really, that made me look worse. Then my friend came back and we left.
What is it about Gerrard street? You know you're going to get some sloppy tasteless shit, but all the bright lights and orangey things in the windows are always too tempting after a beer or two. I think it's that I was brought up to believe that china town was the very pinnacle of dining out. My Dad still goes there and only there whenever he's in London.
[ 12.06.2007, 12:05: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
At least some of the bizarre things we were served "out there" were cheap.
Cheapest beer we found: 10p / half litre Cheapest food: 'Choppy choppy' kebabs at 6p each (think 4" round thick pitta bread with chopped meat and chillies stuffed in it. They are very nice.)
Some of the more bizarre highlights (excluding the great lumps of fat on almost all meat dishes) were:
Duck Tongue: Actually quite nice - not as "ducky" as I would have thought, but nice.
Chicken Hearts: Recommended - all muscle, you see - probably the tastiest bit of chicken I've ever had.
Korean Sushi: The Chinese officially hate the Japanese, so their influences come via Korea. Korean sushi is very similar to Japanese sushi, but they seem to use things like sausage instead.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
forget ti bignuts its chinatown.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I found a frozen bag of "pig uteri" in a chinese supermarket recently.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
also, it's my last night in the bedsit tonight.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
How do you feel about that.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
melancholic. On the one hand it's going to be more comfortable and private having our own place, on the other, the little room means a lot to me because it's probably the only place I'll ever be able to say was truly my own. You know, it's a place of great transition for me. I feel kind of sad. Louise won't be there, and I haven't got any tv or games or even internet, so I'll probably just sit there drinking beers and touching thingss.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: I found a frozen bag of "pig uteri" in a chinese supermarket recently.
*genuinely impressed*
Maybe we should quit the horsing around and just bow down before our future Chinese masters. No fucking way am I taking on a team that noshes on pig uterus.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'd actually like to go to the pub for a bit.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: also, it's my last night in the bedsit tonight.
But you have a nice looking flat ready to move into, I looked, it looks nice.
Spacious.
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
edited cos it was rubbish.
[ 12.06.2007, 12:39: Message edited by: doc d ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
pigs faces? Do you fry them and serve them like omlettes?
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
fuck knows man. it was pretty fucking grim. well when i wasn't thrusting the box under a's nose. and giggling like a girl.
live crabs as well. frogs legs and choose the fish you want to eat.
maybe you could put the pig face on and run around commiting crimes/acts of random goodness?
[ 12.06.2007, 12:45: Message edited by: doc d ]
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Am now looking at friends reunited. I hope you're all happy with yourselves. Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
Have now written a poem which I will torture you with.
Suduko You make me angry and I don't even do you Suduko Whos' that bird who loves you? The one with the brain gets better with age I would, probably, my brain is dead!
Suduko I hate you
I probably could learn how to do you like the bird with the brain who's causing my strain it's almost like pain Suduko
What the fuck is her name? Not Carol Smiley... although I probably would She's in my mind's eye on the tip of my tongue the bitch with the tits and the brain and the hips adverts and gameshows the one with the letters a vowel and a consonant and the maths and all that Shit! still nothing
Suduko I hate you I hate you
The guy who's now dead what the fuck is his name? I wouldn't do him great thanks brain, thanks for the image doing the bloke with the blazer not dead, oh no, brain you are rubbish what use are these things and I just want her name arse, fuck
I'm getting carol? no?
Suduko
Posted by Tilde (Member # 1215) on :
VORDERMAN!
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Vorderman The female man of Vorder A mind of structure, order You wear clothes than never suit yer Perhaps you're from the future?
Whitely Some would say just another dead Dick But that would be kind of sick The man deserves a medal of honour Compared to that fuckwit, o'Connor, He sadly not dead But certainly Des
Dent My heart she will always torment Penis size, she can't help but augment I long to inhale her scent Not to lust after her means you're bent
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tilde: Am now looking at friends reunited.
This reminds me: Rick: tell us how your school reunion went.
Possibly in rhyme, if you've got the time. Were you too cool for school? Did you meet all your old friends? Or was it a nightmare that never never ends? Did anyone say, Oi Josh you old Nazi! I could still whip your arse at a board game or Yahtzee Are the girls of your youth Now all chavs and uncouth Or did the spark of yore reignite your core Should Nightowl be worried Is your reputation now slurried Did you snog Becky Smitts You know, her with big tits She filled your young brain Again and again With images filthy, erotic, sublime You pleasured yourself over her, time after time What about Baggins, the big bastard bully? Did you finally punch him, and get revenge fully? Or was it all a bit blah, and kinda pfft... meh, That's more like the truth I bet, innit... yeah.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Mad]](mad.gif)