I hate clothing companies. You know the ones. The ones that design all of their clothes for girls built like Kate Moss or some other model type girl. I've got hips. I've got boobs. I'm not built like a child. Or a runway model. I'm not fat, so what's up with clothing companies making all of their clothes run SUPER small.
I'm so annoyed right now.
Sorry. It's just that between Saturday and last night I'm feeling like a big fat cow, when I know I'm not. Just a calf maybe.
On Saturday I was told by a Chinese woman in Chinatown "You have big hip. We only have one dress for you". So when I tried the dress on why the hell was it two or three sizes TOO BIG?? "No, you need room to sit down". Not that much room lady. Then last night I went to two different stores (not in Chinatown) and tried on two different dresses and they were too small? They were my size, but the company that makes them runs really small. I even tried on a dress that should have been big on me.
posted
When I, you know, have the spare time and cash and can be arsed and stuff I am totally going to get into dress making.
Then everything will fit perfectly and I won't have to spend months wandering round shops with an expression of puzzled disdain at the arse end of 1985 monstrosities that have clogged up shelves for the past six months.
Or I shall have my own dress maker who will know what colours work for me and will be paid to say nice things and be tactful. That will be ace.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden.
Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
posted
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Or I shall have my own dress maker who will know what colours work for me and will be paid to say nice things and be tactful. That will be ace.
This is gr9. But you do have to have reasonable-sized pots of dosh.
Aren't you supposed to be packing? I have just discovered vacuum storage bags - a double duvet shrinks down to a 2 inch thick pancake-type thing. Amazing.
posted
See? This is exactly what I was thinking last night. If I had time, knew how to use a sewing machine and extra cash, I'd be making my own clothes.
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quote:Originally posted by Octavia: Aren't you supposed to be packing? I have just discovered vacuum storage bags - a double duvet shrinks down to a 2 inch thick pancake-type thing. Amazing.
Tis done! Well, there is a pile of clothes on the spare room bed, being slept on by the cat.
I'm looking forward to when I get my Oscar and Trinny & Susannah ask me "what are you wearing?" and I can answer "a dress" and they will look stupid.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden.
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: I have just discovered vacuum storage bags - a double duvet shrinks down to a 2 inch thick pancake-type thing. Amazing.
I had a great image of using these to pack before I moved. Imagine walking into a newflat with just six pancake sized bags. Unzip one and... bang! Widescreen TV! Neat.
Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
posted
Perhaps disco can give lessons when she comes back from Whitstable. And Stef could give sword-fighting/gladiator lessons, kovacs can lecture on Alice, Thorn can teach people how to be better at video games and Ringo can give car-souping tutorials. (Oooh, more men in boilersuits.) Ben could...ummmm....teach us about the Dewey Decimal System?
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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
posted
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I had a great image of using these to pack before I moved. Imagine walking into a newflat with just six pancake sized bags. Unzip one and... bang! Widescreen TV! Neat.
How cool would that be. Like those lifeboats - pull the string and boom! furnished flat. One tug and it's erect.
Sorry, it's the afternoon. I couldn't not phrase it like that.
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Why would you need more cash to make your own clothes? Wouldn't you just use the money you would have otherwise spent on buying clothes?
Yeah, I know its not helpful. I can sew, but I don't make my own clothes. I too wander around shops going "huh? people wear this?" and then feeling old and odd sized. I tried on this pair of trousers the other day and they were ideal length, ideal waist (lol, hip these days innit) but they made my thighs look like sausages in skins that had bloated and gone a bit wrinkly. So, I tried on a larger size (sob) and they fitted perfectly around the thigh, but were massive around the waist/hip. Conclusion = I have big, out of proportion thighs, grrrr. Alternative Conclusion = trouser makers in Zara should be sacked for being rubbish.
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I ordered a nice blacked crocheted tunic type thing from Lil'woods off the shninternet and I made sure I chose a size ten. I was expecting a nice snugly fitting top with lovely flarey sleeves and dangly bits. I got a mass of black material that looks as though it was made for use as a table cloth. When I tried it on I couldn't see my hands or my bottom.
Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
posted
quote:Originally posted by Modge: Conclusion = I have big, out of proportion thighs, grrrr. Alternative Conclusion = trouser makers in Zara should be sacked for being rubbish.
I get this aaaaaallll the time. Except in Austin Reed last week, where I found the Perfect Pair of Black Trousers. They skimmed beautifully in every dimension, and made my rear view look like a honed racer-cruiser, as opposed to the wallowing tug it usually resembles. Unfortunately they were £175, which put them somewhat out of court.
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quote:Originally posted by Amy: On Saturday I was told by a Chinese woman in Chinatown "You have big hip. We only have one dress for you".
Those darned orientals, eh? When I was in Thailand I asked a shop owner if he had a pair of trainers in my size. He didn't even bother asking which size. He just laughed, pointed, and said "You big man. You too big, big man. Too big for Thai shoes, big man."
They were so cheap too
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Maybe he was doing that Buddhist monk thing where you have to stay there for three days without food or water or encouragement, proving just how much you wanted the shoes, and then he would have given them to you for free.
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quote:Originally posted by Modge: Alternative Conclusion = trouser makers in Zara should be sacked for being rubbish.
God, yes! They make trousers for a woman with small hips, puny thighs and a thick waist (straight up & down!). This woman also has long legs, a short body, small breasts and spaghetti-thin arms. Although physically deformed, this woman does have the advantage of being able to get cool clothes at cheap prices.
Wallis, on the other hand, make clothes for .... well, me! And they lie shamelessly about the size: very considerate of them, I feel. They're not all that cool though. It's a sacrifice, but I'm willing to make it.
I guess that's how we become more middle-of-the-road in our dress style
-------------------- I love God! He's so deliciously evil!
quote:Originally posted by Amy: On Saturday I was told by a Chinese woman in Chinatown "You have big hip. We only have one dress for you".
I once heard that a man went into a clothes shop owned by an American Indian and when he complained he was told: "white man speak with forked tongue". Posts: 1396
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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
posted
There are so many levels on which that's not funny.
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posted
I know the feeling with clothes sizes. It's hard to find things that seem to fit well in every regard. You'll get, for instance, a t-shirt that's the right length, right cut, right collar size, but the arms are too tight. Or it'll be too tight across the chest. Or when I sit down it runs half way up my back.
Jeans and trousers are the worst though. Why do you think I buy giant jeans? You think I'm some sort of fricking sk8r trash? Hell no, it's the only way of guaranteeing that they're not going to be too small around my thighs or my waist or my ass.
Are we all really deformed or is the clothing industry just fucking lame?
Personally I think it's a conspiricy. Too many supposedly posh brands of clothing sullied by ugly people wearing them, so now while odd shaped people can afford to buy their clothes, only those that look like supermodels can actually fit into them.
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posted
A related rant: Whose brilliant idea was it to create completely conflicting sizing systems for men's and women's clothing? I mean, if I go to buy a new shirt or a pair of pants, simply need to know various measurements in simple inches (thismanyinch waist and thatmanyinch inseam, and whatnot), and I'm reasonably assured whatever it is I'm buying will fit. But then you (you meaning me, being a guy who doesn't typically buy women's clothing) enters a store to purchase some women's clothing item. Usually as a gift. And you're faced with this indecypherable system of sizing. I mean, what's the relation of a "size 12" or "size 9" to any form of independent measurement? Centimeters? Inches? Hundreths of parsecs? I don't care, just give me something to base the system of measurement on. Any sizing system that includes a "size zero" doesn't make sense to me - wouldn't "size zero" mean the garment in question has a size of zero and therefore does not exist?
The aforementioned is why (a) menfolk shouldn't buy womenfolk clothing items as gifts, and (b) when the aforementioned rule must be broken, the manfolk in question must steal a garment from the woman's closet, and bear it to the store in order to hand it to the sales clerk and say "give me something in this size," whilst failing to conceal their expression of confusion and overwhelmedness.
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quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: I mean, what's the relation of a "size 12" or "size 9" to any form of independent measurement?
Size 9, sadly, fails to exist. Not that, um, it would make any difference to me if it did, but it would mean that the likelihood of sizes 11 and 13 miraculously popping into being would exponentially increase.
I can see that it might be a bit confusing for men. Especially as bras (an item a boy might buy his ladyfriend) come handily measured in a completely nonsensical system that makes sense to virtually no-one. All this adding 5" for an odd number, 4" for an even business, +1 = this, +5 = that, enough to get your head rotating like that girl in The Exorcist.
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posted
I used to work in an underwear selling shop - Knickerbox - you know, those tiny little box shaped shops they have in stations? Yeah, well, one of them. We used to get blokes coming in all the time especially around Valentines Day or Christmas saying "I would like to buy my girlfriend an underwear set. What can you recommend?" and I'd say, "What size is she?" I would always get one of two replies:
1) Oh... (long lingering look at my chest) about your size.
Or for the jokers out there
2) This big! holding up their cupped hands in an imitation of fondling their beloved bozooms.
I always sold them a set in size 12 pant and 34B bra and told them to keep the receipt for exchanges.
I had a stalker when I worked in the Charing Cross branch. After weeks of phonecalls asking me what colour knickers I was wearing that day or being thrown out of the shop by my good self for fondling the silky drawers and muttering filth to himself it all came to a head one morning. The finale was rather exciting as he was escorted away and sectioned after hanging around the shop really early waiting for me to arrive and open up the shop whilst holding what we later found out to be a plastic gun.
Apparently he tried to send me a letter from the hospital and the police told me I mustn't open it and to send it straight to them. I never received it though.
Ahhh. How I miss the cut and thrust of underwear retailing in London's stations *sigh*
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: I'd say, "What size is she?" I would always get one of two replies:
1) Oh... (long lingering look at my chest) about your size.
Or for the jokers out there
2) This big! holding up their cupped hands in an imitation of fondling their beloved bozooms.
I used to work in a shop that sold golf clothing (thrilling I know) and used to get a lot of American male golfers wanting to buy gifts for their wives and daughters. They too were clueless to the right size to get, and when I was discussing it with a customer one time, he said "oh she's about your size, but with a bit more up top" whilst winking (with an i) and miming breasts with his hands. cuh Posts: 1268
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posted
when buying pants in zara, always go a size bigger than you really are. and take said pants to seamstress to lob off around 5 inches off the length. spanish women aren't really that freakishly thin, nor freakishly tall. most of the younger generation merely wear their clothes too tight and accompany too long pants with those horrendous rubber soled platform-type trainery things - you know the ones - the soles make the 'shoes' look 9 foot tall. i had a distressed telephone call from my mum a couple of weeks ago. she'd tried some pants on in zara and had to rush off to collect the ingredients for her 'red day, green day' diet because she thought she'd mysteriously gone up a clothes size.
the trauma.
-------------------- And then the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom... Posts: 446
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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I had horrific visions of full-length long-john style knickerbockers then, especially heinous given that they would require curtailment by 5" before the wearer's ankles became visible. I get so horribly confused when people say 'pant' when they mean 'trouser'. Especially when they are English and have no excuse for it.
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