posted
You fools it was Louches birthday on the weekend.
In accordance with hallowed tmo tradition, I gagooled for inappropriate image files with 'louche' filenames but all I could find was this animated gif of - I think - a showerhead filling a glass cubicle with urine.
I wish I could have found something more suggestive or flirty - maybe Thorn will have better luck? Posts: 8657
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
Happy Birthday Louche!
In case you can't read the inscription, it says: The designer who changed your ideas about airline uniforms would like to change your mind about support pantyhose. So there you go. I am intrigued.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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posted
Happy Birthday Louche Sweet Haiku salutations. Following orders.
It's not got much to do with birthdays, and I don't know about droll, but I was tickled by a story I heard during the meat weekend. It happened in Manchester so there's a tenuous connection, and it concerned my mate Bob, who once featured regularly on the boards.
Tired of the same old stories being bandied around the tables of Sunday pubs, last weekend Bob decided to strike back. Bob's nemesis, Bill, had just regaled a crowd with The Tale of Bob and the Dog Sick Wet Dream. Bill was the perfectly reliable narrator because it was in fact his dog that had emptied his sick onto Bob's teenage trouser tent. As the chuckles died down Bill prepared to launch into The Tale of Bob and The Brown Picture but Bob got in first, relating the following tale about Bill.
During his mid teens, apparently Bill embarked on a family holiday with his mother father and sister. They arrived at a small villa which they were to share with family friends. Unfortunately for Bill, some were expected to share more than others. A lack of sleeping space meant some members of the group were required to share beds, and that meant the kids. After much arguing, Bill lost his fight for teenage privacy and was forced to share a bed with his sister.
On the first night of the holiday Bill prodded his sister a couple of times to check that she was asleep and, satisfied that she was, began flicking through the cable channels in search of that teenage holy grail, soft porn. Eventually he found what he was looking for and set about enjoying it to the full, checking occasionally between strokes to make sure his sister was still in the land of nod. As things got more exciting on screen and under the sheets Bill forgot his bedfellow in favour of his old chap and began beating in earnest. Now, I'm sure you all saw this coming, as did I, but I'll relay it anyway. The boy's shuffling woke his sister and she whipped back the covers in disgust.
"What the fuck..." she began, but she never finished as Bill, beyond the point of no return, exploded, hosing his sister down with hot, teen sauce.
posted
Fucking hell Jonsey, how is any child meant to recover from something like that? And what kind of mong would then tell anyone about it, thus guaranteeing future humiliation.
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scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
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Happy Birthday Louche. And also, happy belated birthday to Bandy who is sitting next to me pouting because he never got a birthday thread for his birthday which was on the 7th of June.
So, to both of you:
-------------------- ...because that's the kind of guy you are. Posts: 2730
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posted
happy birthday to both louche and bandy! not that my greeting will make a wasp's tit worth of fucking difference seeing as they have both of them either had a happy birthday or not by this point. but still.
[img]no wanky photo of cake or ugly woman with face like stale pie and cumstard[/img]
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Well then Louche, I thought I wonder which of the great and good Louche shares her birthday with?
Undeterred, despite knowing that this could be a gargantuan task, the date of your birthday being "the weekend" (like, thanks for being so specific, Ben), I spent literally minutes trawling the interweb to discover that you share your birthday with either Dustin Hoffman (8/8) or David Duchovny (7/8).
I hope such retrospective knowledge enriches your whole birthday experience, or at least provides retrospective enhancement equal to or greater than a ladleful of piss.
-------------------- i wrote for luck - they sent me you Posts: 3505
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Cheers and Happy Birthday Bandy. I share a birthday with Mr Duchovny and am now worrying that at some unexpected point of a my life a creased Indian is going to appear by my side with the enigmatic words my name is Albert Hustein and I was told to come here.
I got a computer for my birthday! Well, I didn't get it yet, is coming next week. Bamba, Sabian et al should now be quaking in terror as my inchoate computer skillz will be brought to bear on a machine with bizarre and interesting capacities, like that esoteric medium which is broadband. This is before consideration of the fact that apparently, it can also be used to record Coronation Street. It's going to be interweb carnage I tell you.
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
I share my birthday with Hulk Hogan. I'm a happy woman today.
-------------------- Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Posts: 1189
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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Happy birthday to Turbo! Check out your new wheels:
Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
At first I thought it was silly but the more I look at it, the more I want one. It's got armrests! tartan cushions! a place to put your shopping!
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turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
posted
I want one too, imagine how easy doing a big grocery shop would become? A crate of beers and 6 bottles of wine? No sweat! 10 watermelons and 5 super size bottles of laundry detergent? No problem! When can I expect the delivery man, Assthrow?
Also, a present for Bandy and a belated happy birthday:
-------------------- Forgive your enemies, but never forget their names. Posts: 1189
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posted
To say happy birthday, where does one start, when Jonesy has already, made poems into art
With Louche and Turbo and Bandy all waiting, and Thorn in the corner, furtively <deleted to protect the innocent>
Suffice it to say, I hope that you all, Had much fun and laughter, And presents stacked tall
With copious drinking, And other such treats, I owe you all a drink, Next time we have a meat(s)
Hmmm, Wordsworth I assuredly am not, happy birthday to you all (and to anyone else about to whinge that they 'never got a ******* birthday thread!) Posts: 2337
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Happy Birthday Louche! 
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