posted
Hey forum, I wanted to get your opinion on whether to report a crime or not. Actually, I'm not sure if a "crime" has been committed or not, so let's start there.
Last night after I'd been out and had a few drinks I was tail-gated into my flat. The man followed me through my security entrance door and got into the lift with me. I asked him what floor he wanted, he told me a random number, I pressed the button for his floor then mine and as the doors closed he tried to attack me. He was pushing me back against the lift doors and trying to touch me, grabbing at my body etc but I fought back and tried to scratch his face with my door keys. He was stronger than me and easily threw me off but luckily I also managed to press all the lift buttons so it opened again on the ground floor and a female neighbour heard me shouting and opened her front door. The man ran off and she let me into her flat and fed me brandy and unfiltered cigarettes.
Should I report this to the police? My description of my attacker would be "young black bloke wearing a blue hooded top" and I don't know that I would recognise him again. My neighbour didn't get a clear look at him either. Is this something that you would report?
Turns out my phone was lost / stolen too. I phoned it last night and someone answered and said they were taking it to Camden Police Station but I just phoned them and nothing has been handed in yet.
While I'm ranting: My sink is blocked and my toilet door has fallen off its hinge and the council won't fix it til Tuesday. Sometimes life really sucks.
So, do you think that I should report my almost attack to the police or should I chalk it down to experience?
Yes you should report it. Not because there's a guarantee the guy will be caught and sentenced, but because it might fit in with a pattern of similar attacks in the area, and any info might help the Police. They are trained in asking questions that might help your description become better.
At the very least, other people in your building should be warned and the issue of security raised.
God, I hate lifts.
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posted
The only time I've been attacked, my parents pretty much insisted I went to the police. I wish I hadn't bothered. I had to go through the whole thing again in my witness statement (and put my name to the document which was riddled with spelling and grammar errors), then schlep off in the car to another station where they took photos of my mashed up face. Then I drove to another station and went through about 100 or so mug shots failing to identify a single one of my attackers. The police were polite, and helpful, but with me having no idea who attacked me and not really able to describe any of them there wasn't much that could be done.
I suppose if you're OK about going through the events in great detail you might feel better about reporting the crime - and it may help if the guy gets pulled up on something similar - but, you know. Yeah.
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posted
To be honest my inclination is not to bother. My neighbour thought it was to do with the crack dealer that was evicted off the first floor a while back. She lives on the ground floor and is often hassled by people trying to get to him - her flat is a virtual vault with bars on all windows and doors. I just don't know if I can be bothered with all the hassle of going to the police. I'm tired, shaken and hungover. Luckily I am working from home this morning. I am happy to stick a sign on the communal notice board about it but then if I don't report it I feel guilty - what if I heard about another girl who was attacked at 2am and didn't have nice neighbours around...
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: if I don't report it I feel guilty - what if I heard about another girl who was attacked at 2am and didn't have nice neighbours around...
Well, not bothering because you don't think it'll make any difference and not bothering because it'll take up your time are different things. Might be worth giving your local station a ring to find out what their procedure on this is; will they come to your house to take a statment? How long will it take?
I would say assaulting a lone female like this is more serious than mugging for a mobile phone, or a drunken fight on the street, or an attempted break-in.
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posted
Definitely report it to the police. And stick a sign on your notice board. If there were men going around doing that sort of thing in my area, I'd like to know that everything was being done to stop it and protect me and my friends.
There might not be much the police can do if it's an isolated incident, but as VP said, it could be connected with other things and form the last piece of a puzzle.
Haven't you posted before saying this sort of thing (although not to that extent) happens quite often outside your flats? Do the police patrol the area at all? I don't have any tips on protecting yourself (especially as the attacker is much stronger) but maybe the police could advise you in any case. Perhaps if there's been a spate of attacks in the area then they'll actually be able to do something.
I don't know, but I reckon report it. Can't do any harm at any rate.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
I really think you should report it. Then you'll know you did what you could to stop it happening to someone else, so you won't feel terrible if you hear about another woman being attacked in similar circumstances, even if he's not identified as a result of your going to the police. Like Vogon said, it might have happened before, and anything you can remember could turn out to be useful.
Poor you. Is there anyone that could come round and keep you company?
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posted
fucking hell uber! Are you ok? I wish I lived near you - I'd come round and make you tea with a bit of whisky in it.
I think you should report it. Most definitely. And don't worry about not having a good description to give to the police - if you tell them the route you took andd the point at which you became aware of being followed, they may be able to check whether there is any CCTV in that area and could check it out. Even if not, this still needs to be reported. Maybe this bloke is kind of banking on it not being reported and being able to carry on doing stuff like this.
God, I hope you're ok missus.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Do I have to do it now?
No, I don't think you have to do it now, although it might be an idea to phone your local station to find out what the procedure is. Maybe jot down everything you can remember, whilst it's still quite fresh in your mind, then go back to bed for a few hours before calling into the station later. I think you could also phone work and tell them what happened: they might say you can take the day off.
posted
no I don't think that they will be uber - it's the christmas party season. Maybe this bloke has been waiting to take advantage of tipsy party going females on their way home from office parties and the like. if anything, the police should take it even more seriously as there are going to be lots of tipsy party going females on their way home from office parties around for a few weeks yet.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
No way - this is absolutely not your fault, or your responsibility: it sounds like it would've happened whether you were drunk or not. In any case, you might have had a few drinks, but not so many that you couldn't look after yourself: you did manage to fend him off and escape.
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scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
posted
No - you were attacked. You didn't know him. It's not like they're going to accuse you of turning a friendly chat in the lift into a fabricated tale of assault.
Uber - report it. Absolutely. Take a couple of Syndol and git yo ass down the police station. These ***** just don't stop, and I refuse absolutely to admit that we live in the world when a girl is attacked in her own building and there's 'no point' reporting it to the police. Like you say, you'll feel guilty if it happens again. What if it happens again to AMP when she's coming to see you? Not even worthe thinking about.
Oh, and CYI. Big hug hon.
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posted
Well it's not illegal to be drunk at the end of a night out; it is illegal to attack someone.
It's fortunate that you've got the neighbour as a possible witness; she should be able to verify times and stuff.
I know it seems like a tedious, pointless prolonging of the misery to report it, but these fucking cunries shouldn't be allowed to go round assaulting people in their own homes. By ensuring his actions are officially logged, it's like you're getting a little bit of power back against him. Difficult to describe but, you know, his actions will have some kind of consequence that may eventually catch up with him.
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posted
I know, I know you're all right, that is exactly what I would tell someone to do if they told me what I told you guys, I guess... I guess I just don't want to do it on my own is all
Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
posted
Uber, that sounds horrendous - good vibes coming your way (at the risk of sounding 'baggy, e-drink'n'cig too).
I think you should report it. As much as anything else, if people don't report crime then the police don't have to do anything about it, and can concentrate on lucrative road-traffic offences. If crimes are reported, and enough crimes, then they have to act or their clear-up rates look crap. Also, this is probably going to sound revoltingly clinical, but did you get any skin or hair or anything when you were fighting him? I don't know what the police in your area would do about it, but I think there's a general policy to gather DNA samples where possible.
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posted
Nope no DNA type stuff, it was more pushing him away. I don't think it lasted very long. I dunno the more I talk about the less real it all seems.
posted
Oh, good point Octavia! If this was CSI, they would send someone hot (see below) round to get DNA samples off your keys.
Not sure if they have a CSI unit full of hotties in Hackney, but you never know.
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Neurotic Cat
My fortune cookie's empty... That's also the title of my autobiography.
posted
Sorry to hear whats happened Uber. Well done for fighting him off!
Some very good advice offered already but I think writing it all down while its still fresh in your mind is a really good idea.
Also I know I wouldnt want to go to work after something like that happened. If theres any chance your work wont be sympathetic (although I think its unlikely) I'd be tempted to call in sick if you can.
Regarding the police you might feel better once you've spoken to them about it. If its something thats happened before maybe it might spur them/local authority into action to get better security at your building?
Its a shite state of affairs that things like this happen and I'm glad you're ok.
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Maybe you could just call the local station and let them know that something happened, and arrange to go in later/tommorow when you are feeling better.
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posted
Very sorry to hear about that Uber -- it sounds absolutely horrible and you seem to be admirably calm and collected about it. If it were me I'd be feeling mildly traumatised for some time. Partly for that reason -- because maybe you will feel some emotional repercussions -- I definitely echo the advice to go to the police and take other pro-active steps. I think it might help you to feel you are "doing something" about it, and taking some form of control. You don't seem to be feeling like a victim at all but I think doing nothing might make you regard yourself as a helpless target whereas reporting it and trying to make sure other women don't have the same experience casts you in a positive, decisive role.
I am not at my best today so I hope the above makes sense.
posted
I saw the message this morning to your sister and was immediately shocked into thinking something nasty had happened - I am glad you got away lightly and good for you for fighting back! It's bloody horrible being attacked like that - it has s happened to me as you know - it scarred me for a long time (but the sympathy from my ladyfriends was good medicine - i suggest you find something similar for comforting)
But seriously Ubes, don't go to work today - have a day off and just chill for a bit. And importantly, do go to the police, as this guy does need to be reported. It doesn't matter that you had been out partying, as has been said that is not illegal. It may be a long shot, but say the guy tried to attack someone else and was arrested - your coming forward could ensure his conviction.
But more to the point, you have been atacked by someone and under no circumstances should they be allowed to just get away with it - it might seem hopeless now, but let the police know so they can at least put the word out.
H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
posted
Uber - you should go to the police (or better still, have them come to you, since that way they can talk to your neighbour at the same time and you aren't put to the additional trauma of going there). If a relative or friend could come and be with you for that that would be great, also if you need some company tonight.
Also, let your work know what happened and don't go in if you don't feel up to it. Talking about it makes it real to you and means that you can start to deal with it instead of suppressing it and burying it. It also probably builds your credibility in the event that there ever comes to be a prosecution.
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posted
Thank you everyone. I have just spoken to the police and someone is coming round in the next couple of hours. My boss is an angel and said if I want to go in then I can come to work and chill out (I live on my own so I like the company of having people around) or she said I can stay at home, whatever I want to do. I am going out with her tonight as planned anyway - she is my friend as well as my boss.
I have also just found out that the cunry who stole my mobile phone ran up £45 of calls to premium numbers before the phone was blacklisted. I can't find my insurance documents but I now have a nasty nagging feeling that it has expired so I will have to pay the cost of the cunry calls and the cost of a new hand set.
Anyway, thanks again for all your kind words, it really helped me get through this morning.
posted
What a BASTARD! You might not have to pay though: someone stole my wife's phone and called Thailand and spent like £200, and she didn't have to pay any of it.
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posted
Oh oobs, I am sorry. It's horrid to have that kind of thing happen, especially on your doorstep. It kind of bursts our bubble of security.
But as everyone has said, although you want it all to go away and feel that talking about it will just make it worse, in the long run it will make it better, and make you feel less helpless, as you've taken steps towards stoping it happening again, either to you or someone else.
posted
Quick scan read, sorry. Do report it if you can, because without coming forward, you'll never know if you will be part as a key witness to a series of ongoing crimes. I know it can seem tough and fruitless sometimes, but someone might be relying on you as a witness who didn't have the ability to defend themselves. Even a vague description is enough for them to pick up someone who looks similar and can lead on to an arrest. Sometimes criminals try to repeat the crime in the same area, wearing exactly the same clothes. Whatever you choose to do, I hope you are ok.
posted
I done reported it, thanks. Am waiting for the police to come round now. Had to hoover up the pine needles and everything. Do you offer to make them tea like on the tele?
posted
I saw the message you posted for London last night, and thought about calling, before I realized the only number I might have had was probably your mobile . Certainly you should report it to the police and post a notice for your neighbors - we're glad you're all right, which is what's most important, though.
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posted
I just tried to ring your mobile, but its not taking calls. I've just had a "doh" moment.
I was going to say on this post, yes, call the police, but you've already done that, so good on ya.
Have you got anyone with you now? Is anyone coming round this evening? I live just up the road from you, and if you'd like some company I can call round on my way home from work if you want. RSVP.
I must say, stuff like this really boils my piss. Anger and indignation don't even come close to my reaction to incidents like this one. I temporarily join the hang 'em and flog 'em brigade.
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![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
. Certainly you should report it to the police and post a notice for your neighbors - we're glad you're all right, which is what's most important, though.
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