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Have you ever been happily passing the time of day, when something utterly trivial and insignificant manages to bug you to the point of not just spoiling your previously happy demeanour, but actively pissing you off? I’m not talking something slightly minor, I’m talking something really pointless and petty. What, TMO, is the most stupidly trivial thing that can turn your mood from happy go lucky to incandescent with rage in the blink of an eye?
Pointless Fury I think the stupidest pet hate I have has to be people who either don’t look where they’re going, or simply amble along, eyes open, but seemingly blithely unaware of the fact that other people are having to actively dodge around them. The number of times I’ve found myself walking along the pavement, not a care in the world, when round the corner comes someone with a seemingly all-engrossing fascination with the pavement a couple of inches on front of their feet, cruising aimlessly along like a driverless car, if I’m really lucky they might even be wavering randomly from one side of the pavement to the other like a homebound drunk, in which case I find myself studying their movement and trying to guess which way I should dodge at the last second in order to avoid colliding with them, nothing like an obstacle course when you’re on your way home after a long day is there? Now I know it’s trivial, nay more than trivial, it’s about as important as a fart in a force 10 gale, but still that doesn’t stop me from getting wound up, especially if it happens more than once in quick succession (like every time I’m foolish enough to venture into town on a Saturday afternoon) . I actually wonder sometimes whether some people have ever even noticed what the surrounding scenery looks like where they live, or whether they simply find their way home by following the bits of pavement they recognise, they seem to spend that much time staring at it.
So what about you? Are you riled by a colleague’s ‘amusing’ ring-tone? Irritated by having to breathe in the cloying odour of too much cheap aftershave from the corporate clown you find yourself stuck next to on the tube every morning? Enraged by a particularly feeble piece of corporate speak spouted by your boss on a daily basis (I’m looking at you here Misc)?
What is the stupidest thing that can really get your goat?
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
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remembering at 7.55 on a Friday morning that the binmen come at 8 and you haven't put your rubbish out yet so you have to dribble seeping overstuffed binliners out along your driveway wearing a dressing gown and with wet hair.
-------------------- i'm expressing my inner anguish through the majesty of song Posts: 4243
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people who either stand or walk very slowly on the left hand side of escalators make my blood boil. In fact, anything anybody does on the underground fucks me off.
There are far too many things that piss me off through sheer triviality. Ringtones is a good start - the nerd in front of me today has Axel F, but not only is it annoying, its more annoying when we have to have three bars of it while he fumbles around plugging his earpiece in to talk on it. And thats another thing - people who insist on walking up and download aimlessly with bluetooth earpieces making them look like a cyborg from the planet twat, but worst still people caressing the microphones on the cable like they were caressing the ear lobe of the person they are speaking to in real life - even more disgusting when they are talking to a support tech from Sun Microsystems called Nigel. Ugh! Lets see how Harold Faultemeyer performs at your D3/D4 vertebrae when I have shoved your Nokia so far up your arse you nerdy wee shite. And god forbid a woman on this planet let you spawn so more generations will carry on the tradition of annoying the fuck out of everyone around you. Suddenly, some of Hitler doctrines seem like they were too hastily denounced. *
Then there are amblers - not to be confused with people who ramble over hills - these are good people as they walk with purpose. No its amblers, who just seem to walk in oblivion, like Physic mentioned, stopping pointlessly with no regard for the people around them. Tourists amble - the ones in Holland seem to amble worse, as if a straight line in this country is different to that back in Hicksville, Kentucky. "Look Maw, they got 'lectriciteee" so the whole clan have to stop and marvel at a light bulb whulst 30 people, 2 trams, a fire engine with sirens blazing, A mariachi band and the 4th Battalion of the Dutch Artillery all slam to a complete halt behind them killing and maiming each other as sinew is crushed under iron and steel, the screeching of brakes only exceeded by the screams of painful, murederous death and carnage. Then as the dust settles, the screams give way to death rattles, the mangled iron screeches to a position of rest, the family then notice something amiss, look around at the carnage and shrug their shoulders saying "What did we do?".
And what is so difficult about bike lanes? Why is it people see a secondary lane by a street with a big painted bicycle on it (hint!) and still chose to walk across it like they were jesus walking on water, oblivious to all the elements around them. Whilst its no miracle walking on tarmac, it is a miracle how people are so fucking retarded that when in a city famed for having more bicycles than people, they still blatantly ignore the fucking things. Christ on a windsurfer, it just baffles me beyond all comprehension the stupidity of people.
But I have the answer - and it is something discussed I discussed at length one drunken Friday with Dazzler. People I can end this torment - the good people of this world like you and I can continue about our business free from annoyance. We don't need barbaric genocide - my answer is a humane one - there is no need for culling - after all tax dollars are welcome. It's education these people need, and this is why I propose a chain of schools teaching something all these people seem to be deviod of:
Common Sense.
Yep its that simple - I have studied this hard for many months and it seems pure and simple that Common Sense is the missing factor that is the cause of most stress related illnesses, road rage, binge drinking and subsequent youth violence, world wars, most famine and premature baldness in men over 20.
You teach people that beyond their own little bubble of existance there are other people, they will learn the common sense to be curtious and aware of the other peoples intentions. Whilst shopping they may spy an old chum from school, but thanks to Dr Waynster's patented "Think first!" program, they will guide their pal to the side of the pavement to discusss times of old, rather than do it in the middle of the thoroughfare. You do this to a few thousand people, and peoples blood pressure will reduce, they'll be happier. These people include warlords, religous extremists and US presidents with big shiny red buttons with the word "Nuke" on them. If Osama bin Laden on the way to a weapons sale is delighted by the courtesy of a bunch of western tourists who allow him to pass as they visit the graves of their fallen sons, he may think twice before ordering an attack on the infidels of a western major city.
I think this is why I have so much hate in me - it's the petty things that annoy me most, but that's only because I see them for what they are - the catalysts for world destruction. Picture the scene - you are walking to work and you see a youth wearing a burberry cap replacing the letter 'd' for the letters 'th' in just about evrything he says. It's this dumbing down of the wonderous english language that rages you and on your way home, your fired up and in a hurry wanting to go home to read some proper literature to cleanse your soul from the evil 'l33t'. You are then cut up by an young asian gentleman that infuriates you further and at the next set of traffic lights, you jump out of your car and beat the crap out of them. This young chap turns out to be the prince regent of a major oil producing nation who in protest at the murder, blame western culture and tell George he can't have no more oil. George cries and throws a tantrum, and then goes to press the big red button that Uncle Bill told him never to press and Boom! there goes Berkshire.
And all because the young scally didn't think that hanging out on street corners, being horrifically annoying would upset others.
Common Sense people - give the gift to the massses of the fucktards and the world could be a better place.
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: people caressing the microphones on the cable like they were caressing the ear lobe of the person they are speaking to in real life - even more disgusting when they are talking to a support tech from Sun Microsystems called Nigel.
lol. I'm totally going to steal that and pass it off as my own.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
I get not irrationally, but perhaps out of perspective-ly, ired by people saying and writing "I was sat..." You know: "I was sat on the train and this man tried to chat me up""... "I was sat next to my colleague and he kept talking rubbish to me about his wife."
It's I WAS SITTING.
"I was sat"'s close companion "I was stood" is just as bad.
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I am generally a very calm and laid back person, but get me behind the wheel and its all go I'm afraid.
Last night whilst driving home down the pretty (40 mile an hour) stretch of road which leads me home, I was forced to drive behind a car which insisted on driving 25-30 miles an hour for about 10 to 15 minutes. A fifteen car convoy of equally irate drivers behind me.
That really fucks me off and why is it you only get stuck behind these people when you REALLY just want to get home Posts: 814
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quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Waynster, I think that you're going to have start beating the shit out of people. It's the only solution.
If I ever feel the need for therapy, you Sir will be the first person I call. A drug addict will do just about anything to increase their life longevity but the truth is the last thing they want to give up is the actual drug - it is that they truly fear. It's like me letting go of my despisal for the people that mostly make up this world - whilst undeniably there is a lot of beauty in people, it is the hate that drives me. If you take away my hate, what have I left? Dr (and such a deserved monicker) Benway has show me the light - once I thought of being the messiah and saving this planet, yet only Dr B is the true light and has shown me the truth path to enlightenment - I am saved! Praise Benway! Now to fuck up that wee gadgey with my size 9 steelies!
quote:Originally posted by Modge: nice one waynster
I get not irrationally, but perhaps out of perspective-ly, ired by people saying and writing "I was sat..." You know: "I was sat on the train and this man tried to chat me up""... "I was sat next to my colleague and he kept talking rubbish to me about his wife."
It's I WAS SITTING.
"I was sat"'s close companion "I was stood" is just as bad.
"The thing is, is that you annoy the hell out of me."
I understand that it can be a little confusing. If you were to start the sentence with the word "what" then your double-is-ism would be perfectly correct.
"What the thing is, is that you are an moron."
Or you could just stick to plain old "The thing is, I hate your soul."
But even then there is little or no point in the phrase. What is "the thing"? Well why can't you just tell me what the thing is without having to prefix it with this meaningless utterance?
"At the end of the day..."
But not at the beginning of the day? How about the middle? Cocksucker.
quote:Originally posted by Modge: nice one waynster
I get not irrationally, but perhaps out of perspective-ly, ired by people saying and writing "I was sat..." You know: "I was sat on the train and this man tried to chat me up""... "I was sat next to my colleague and he kept talking rubbish to me about his wife."
It's I WAS SITTING.
"I was sat"'s close companion "I was stood" is just as bad.
Nah, you see because saying "I was sat next to this guy on the train" immediately conjures up the image of being plonked next to someone. It evokes the childlike passivity the people tend to assume on public transport, as well as the unvoluntary nature. You usually get sat somewhere on the train (as opposed to choosing where to sit), whether by a ticket system or by circumstance (it's the only spare seat). So using "I was sat next to this guy on the train", actually provides flavour to the anecdote - immediately you're talking about an almost involuntary situation that usually matches the tone of the story. I'm not trying to be pedantic on this one: it's a turn of phrase that works on a metaphorical level. If you get annoyed by that, you may as well be (in fact you are) one of those stupid c**ts who say things like "How can VP's heart be as cold as ice? If it was as cold as ice she would be dead! Her heart would be at body temperature! What you mean is that she is emotionally closed off! :madfaece: :wankerwhodoesn'tunderstandlanguagefaece:"
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
posted
quote:Originally posted by Modge: sitting, standing
For some reason I always visualise gerunds as small rodent-like creatures with whiskers and sharp teeth. Is this my mind playing association tricks with 'gerbil' or did I pick it up from someone like Molesworth? Bueller? Anyone?
quote:Originally posted by mimolette: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Modge: [qb] Plus, PLUS, she refers to the man as "this", suggesting that he is present when the conversation is happening. It's "a" man. Or "a horrid" man.
Again, that's a technique to place you right in the telling of the story - it's like they've told you about the person, and you then say "This guy," because he's present in your imagination at that point.
Honestly, you people would people must be the shittiest anedotalists in the world. Now you're making me angry with your brain-fucked stupidity.
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posted
Thorn has a sound general point, although I don't really buy into the idea that "I was sat" implies "I was shoved around into position as usual, without any choice".
The phrase "And then he turned around and said to me" doesn't have any literal basis in truth -- the guy wasn't actually doing a melodramatic reveal like the Hooded Claw -- but it captures the sense of surprise reversal in a nice visual image.
Also, Modge says "I text Kerry, but she hasn't text me back." So she is in a glass-house.
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Again, that's a technique to place you right in the telling of the story - it's like they've told you about the person, and you then say "This guy," because he's present in your imagination at that point.
Yes, just as when you say "and I was all, what the fuck do you want then, and he was all, I'm just here to fix the rads," you're conveying that you were in that position, not just saying it, but potraying that stance in your expression and body language as well. It's different from "and I said, what the fuck do you want then?" It implies that what the fuck do you want was your whole identity at that moment.
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"I was sat next to" suggests that who or what you're sitting next to is incidental at this stage, and no relationship between you and 'it' has developed. "I was sitting next to" has focused your sitting activity, and you are speaking of yourself being relative to 'it', rather than 'it' being relative to your sitting.
[ 07.10.2005, 05:40: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
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There's nothing more infuriating than ranting about something and then having no one back you up, or actually having them actively disagree you. This happens all the time to me, especially on this fucking place, so I feel sorry for Modge who must be steaming from all orifices right now.
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: Also, Modge says "I text Kerry, but she hasn't text me back." So she is in a glass-house.
argh, get to fuck. I would never say such a stupid thing. The word, if there has to be a word, is "texted". Darryn may hate it, but if you can't say "I sent her a text", then say "I texted".
Thorn, it's an interesting idea indeed, but I don't buy it. People (and I've only ever heard it from English folk) use it for any circumstance - I was sat on the sofa, I was sat at dinner, I was sat on the beach - all kinds of times when the idea of being forced to sit somewhere is inappropriate. Plus, most people who use it are not displaying their language and storytelling skills; they simply don't know that what they are saying is wrong.
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quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: It is all actioned.
The last place I worked always did that. It's such a bleak way of trying to make being at work sound exciting. "How's that going to impact on sales?" "Can you action that?" etc. All those dramatic words to mask the fact that all you're going to do is ring someone up and ask them about the air treatment market. It's like the thing is, is it makes you sound like a turd, being sat in this meeting spouting off buzzwords because you think it makes you sound like Donald Trump instead of a fat sack of shit running a mediocre trade magazine in Redhill.
Here they say things like "Can you write that?" and "How will that affect us?" which is much nicer.
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quote:Originally posted by Modge: argh, get to fuck. I would never say such a stupid thing. The word, if there has to be a word, is "texted". Darryn may hate it, but if you can't say "I sent her a text", then say "I texted".
You just admitted to me in person that you say it "as a joke". How was I to know it was a joke.
quote: People (and I've only ever heard it from English folk) use it for any circumstance - I was sat on the sofa, I was sat at dinner, I was sat on the beach - all kinds of times when the idea of being forced to sit somewhere is inappropriate.
As Benway may have been implying "I was sat on the beach" suggests a passive, incidental, setting of the scene. It is all about getting that bit over with. It's the equivalent of "EXT. BEACH. DAY."
"I was sitting on the beach" stresses the sitting action, and suggests that the sitting is of some importance to the story. It is the equivalent, to continue my film script parallel, of "Modge has carefully settled herself down on the sand."
quote:Originally posted by Modge: The word, if there has to be a word, is "texted". Darryn may hate it, but if you can't say "I sent her a text", then say "I texted".
Worse still is 'I S.M.S'ed her'
Or the evil
'I messengered him'
English guy at my last workplace used that one all the time..
quote:Originally posted by Modge: The word, if there has to be a word, is "texted". Darryn may hate it, but if you can't say "I sent her a text", then say "I texted".
Worse still is 'I S.M.S'ed her'
Textual communication via telephone should now be referred to as Telephone Mail or T-mail, to bring it in line with the established Internet term E-mail.
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