posted
I had a real crisis knowing where exactly to place this thread.
It seems to me that this subject could include elements from nearly every section on TMO. To limit it to just one area, I felt might stifle the forums creativity.
So TMO, in ‘Life’ it goes…open to your interpretation...
posted
two things - Janine from Eastenders, and having a ripple, a packet of scampi fries and a bottle of lucozade or a can of cherry coke for breakfast.
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2741
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quote:Originally posted by omikin: you need to fist, kira. that's why your thread = stone dead.
Hey Omikin I wanted to hold off P/F til Monday as I was interested to see how other people interpreted the question. I didnt want my first post to influence the direction that the thread went in...
quote:That and the fact that it's Sunday.
FWIW I think TD may have a very good point too...
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posted
I also know I shouldn't like it when people's tattoos are a lot shitter than they expected, like, if they get a tattoo of Jimi Hendrix and it ends up looking like George Foreman in a fright-wig, and they're really disappointed but they try and talk it up, or they get a tattoo of a leaping panther and the scale and perspective is all wrong and it looks like it was drawn by someone with special needs using pastels... I know I shouldn't enjoy that, but I do.
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I know I shouldn't enjoy talking to people with speech impediments, but I do. If I engage someone in conversation and it turns out they have a really bad stutter, or they persistently mispronounce words, or if they have a really knockout lisp, I just get hit by a wave of joy. I can keep a straight face for hours, I put on a really open 'communication' face, wind down the tempo, take off the pressure, sit back and let that person entertain me. They probably think, "Wow! What a patient, thoughtful guy. He doesn't seem fazed or amused by my speech impediment, at all. I like him. I think I can open up to this guy. I'm going to talk to him for a long time." Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "ROFL!!1!! Spit it out you stuttering fuck! Oh, LOL! Spray that again. Fuhfuhfuh muhhurrhurrhurr? You don't say!"
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I have a bit of a boner for boys with speech impediments. Is that bad? It started in adolescence with Jonathon Ross and Dr Robert out of the Blow Monkeys, both of whom were dead hot but could not say the letter R. But now it has escalated to include people with stutters (incl. Gareth Gates) and people who just kind of twitch and stop and start and cannot finish their sentences. Not if they are just being boring and slow and just all thinking and shit (or if they are girls, in which case I just want to hit them, and not in a sexy way) - but if they are boys who are a bit hot and it is as though their thoughts are so fast and complex that their thoughts are getting in the way of finishing their sentences. I like boys who scrumple up their faces when they talk. I like boys who seem utterly transparent, even if that means they sometimes say stupid, crass things, things that would be better left unsaid. A boy who will start a sentence, pause, scrumple up his forehead, clench his eyes shut, then look to the ceiling with his big lashes raised (eyes green or brown, preferably shielded behind square black-rimmed glasses); then finally point those eyes back at me and deliver the rest of the sentence like a hot Santa Claus delivering your long-awaited gift. If said boy should happen to stutter a couple of times before the sentence spills fully-formed from his mouth, so much the better. Is that wrong?
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I fucking love people falling over. On Saturday, I was driving through Sydenham and this woman just fell over onto her side. I laughed and slowed down to watch her flap about on the pavement like a just-caught fish.
Then, that night, my Dad slipped on some ice and stacked it. He got up, and fell over again.
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Meanwhile, I'm thinking, "ROFL!!1!! Spit it out you stuttering fuck! Oh, LOL! Spray that again. Fuhfuhfuh muhhurrhurrhurr? You don't say!"
That's probably bad, right?
I have actually taken the micky out of someone with a speech impediment before, within a minute of first meeting them... Thanks to an ex-boyfriend who didnt think it worth mentioning before he introduced us Posts: 814
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Yes its people dancing, the way people used to dance. I shouldn’t like it but I just cant help it.
Its celebrities taking on the challenge of learning a new skill and then possibly humiliating themselves on a stage before millions on a Saturday night. The judges are harsh too.
My favourite humiliation - Fiona Phillips.
Returning for the grand finale, where all the celebrities return, to dance one last time. Picked up and carried round the dance floor by professional dancer Brendan Cole because she was so shockingly bad that she couldn’t even attempt to look graceful, follow a simple routine and proved herself to be nothing short of a gibbering idiot…
I also loved to watch Darren Gough and Colin Jackson. Both of whom improved to such a high standard over the 10 weeks that I watched it. No great coincidence that both of them are world class sportsmen; who trained for their dancing with the same dedication as they have for their given sports...
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Strictly come dancing is the biggest pile of wank. As if TV isn't crap enough - its aimed at the minority, especially seeing how small a percentage of the population actually go Ballroom Dancing.
They should have strictly come fishing - at least that would be more fairly aimed at a higher percentage of people in the population who actaully partake in such a thing. Or how about, strictly come wanking? Male and females mutually masterbating, points for the best Ohhh face, distance achieved and the like?
Or perhaps I am just mislead and wanking is like ballroom dancing - lots of people do it but nobody likes to talk about it. Naah, I stick with it is just wank.
quote:Originally posted by Toilet Duck: And I fall over a lot.
Don't let this put you off - I've hit the deck at almost every meat I've been to. One time I fell down the stairs in the pub, another time London tapped me and I went sprawling across a car bonnet. Then there was the time I tried to run over a car, slipped off the roof and landed on my head. Yeah, I reckon I've spent a fair amount of time face down in the mud at TMO meats.
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posted
I too fail to see what enjoyment ballroom dancing brings or why for the love of Mike the show was so popular.
Mind, given the choice between SCD and that fucking god awful, attention seeking, talentless pile of rancid dogshit that was The X Factor, ballroom dancing looks really great.
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The Blues Brothers was on ITV3 last night - first time I've seen it in years.
Watching it again you're painfully aware that, on the one hand, it's probably the naffest, most compromised film about "the music of the black people" of all time - on the other, it remains, for a generation of males growing up when TBB was circulating on vhs, the coolest blockbuster ever.
The outfits, the swearing, the crashed police cars, "I hate Illinois Nazis", the hut-hutting SWAT men - all that still works and, touchingly, many of the most striking performances are by people who have either died since (Ray Charles, John Lee Hooker, Cab Calloway, Belushi) or are now a shadow of their former selves (James Brown, Dan Ackroyd).
Of course, it's wildly uneven (the film never really recovers from the trio of central show-stoppers - Brown preaching, "Think" and "Tailfeather") and those three or four Blues Brothers albums you have up in the loft are probably two or three Blues Brothers albums too many. Still, though: a remarkable oddity to watch again (I mean, Christ, this was back when John Landis was 'hot talent' ffs) and a chastening reminder of how obsequiously timid today's big-budget Hollywood fare is.
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For anyone who didn't see it, VOP's original post concerned smash-hit single 'My Lovely Lady Lumps' by the Black-Eyed Peas.
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quote:Originally posted by London: I can do a good Scouse accent when I'm drunk, if that's any use?
I have remembered my guiltiest guilty pleasure: YOU’VE BEEN FRAMED!!!!!
I can trump that...
World's Funniest Animals
I'm still laughing from the episode last christmas when a kitten leapt onto a christmas tree and pulled the tree over on top of itself, the host sang a little improv carol over the footage, "O' christmas tree Don't fall on me And pulverise My kiddernees."
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
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