posted
There is some shite out there - you know, the song you hear that makes your skin crawl. And then it will not leave your head - it's like a cancer knawing at your brain.
Walking back from the girlfriends house this morning, feeling chipper as you do, I decided to stop by the local branch of Albert Hein for some mushrooms, onions and the like for an omlette for breakfast. At that time of the morning the store is pretty quiet - all the workers are well, at work, and all the drunks are still asleep - even the old dear who spends all day in there on the wooden bench hasn't arrived yet. Nice for a leisurely browse, but as I saunter around all of a suddden my ears are tortured, by what has to be the sickest song ever - Lovin' you by Minnie Riperton.
You must know the song - awful chirping of birds in the background, thick as treacle-sickly-sweet lyrics, and that god awful scream about 5 octaves high like the singer got a scabard right in the mimsy. It just poisons your ears with its vomit-inducing bloody niceness, and once it has graced its evil notes into your suffering ears, it takes root - like a virus it infiltrates your memory and recall portions of the brain, and plays itself like a CD stuck on repeat forever. No matter how loud you try and scream the lyrics from a song of opposing strength (Buzzcocks for example), the moment you stop belting out the chorus at the top of your lungs to Orgasm Addict, it appears like a laughing demon with its chirping, and screaming, chirping and screaming, CHIRPING AND SCREAMING - ARRRGGHHH ! MAKE IT STOP MAKE IT STOP!!!!
Records of this evilness should be fucking banned from airplay forever. I wonder if I can sue the supermarket for having my day ruined by them playing this tripe at me?
So what tunes do you think the world would be a better place if they had not been recorded? What song gets your goat so bad it makes you want to do a sick?
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: So what tunes do you think the world would be a better place if they had not been recorded? What song gets your goat so bad it makes you want to do a sick?
Simple answer:
It's Got To Be Perfect by Fairground Attraction
This song only has to be mentioned and it's stuck in my head for the next week and a half. In fact, someone only needs to start a thread like this and the song is in my head. Thanks Waynster.
It's got to be-he-he-he-he-he-he per-fect
Oh God, I've just bitten my left leg off. First Aider! Hello?
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quote: Originally posted by Waynster: So what tunes do you think the world would be a better place if they had not been recorded? What song gets your goat so bad it makes you want to do a sick?
jamie callums' cover version of the 'the wind cries mary'
the wind cried, then i cried and then jesus wept it was sad
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quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Give her a break, she's got AIDS.
The gril from Fairground Attraction? That's horrible! People like her don't deserve to get AIDS. How confusing.
Anyway BackOnTopkk: Irritating choonz are ten-a-penny. I could name 400 million as an infoburst in the space of 3.77 seconds, but what I think are more interesting are the ones that half irritate/half joyen. You know? They inspire a bizarre, cloying emotion that makes you want to scream/laugh. Like: tATu "All The Things She Said". Never have I had a greater desire to punch/kiss two average-looking teenage girls.
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posted
Love is All Around goads me to fury. I'd rather pull my own eyelashes out one by one than listen to the cloying, smarmy feel it in my fingers nonsense. Possibly because I was still following the charts when it was released: overkill doen't even come close to describing the airtime it received. And bloody Marti Pellow. The smirk.
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quote:Originally posted by Raz: They inspire a bizarre, cloying emotion that makes you want to scream/laugh. Like: tATu "All The Things She Said".
I like this song. It makes me happysad and dance around the room wailing like a loon. Although possibly this is what you meant.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
quote:Originally posted by philomel: I'd rather pull my own eyelashes out one by one than listen to the cloying, smarmy feel it in my fingers nonsense.
OK - I get you with the eyelashes vibe, but what about toenails? Would you draw the line there? Especially if your bloody nail-less toes were dipped in vinegar afterwards. Yowee!
For me it's that cunt Bedingfield's limp-lettuce effort. I can't remember what it's called, but it goes: if I'm not made for you then [nasal whine set to stun]whhhhhyyyyyy does my heart telll me that I yam Good Fuck! I want to stamp on his face.
posted
Astro couldn't be more right about Daniel Bedingfield and that god awful song. But, my all time worst ever song that drives me insane and more than a little bit crazy is...
Perfect Ten by the Beautiful South. Just the first 3 or 4 note synthy-keyboard phrase is enough to send me leaping across the room to switch the radio off. When this song was released, I was at college and had to get up at 6.30am every morning. My flatmates and I had come to an agreement that all radio alarm clocks in the house were tuned to Capital FM (there was a reason for this, but I can't remember it now) and for about 2 weeks, Capital played Perfect Ten at... 6.30am. I'm not a good morning person anyway, and having that stupid man and manly woman singing about how brilliant it is to be podgy, accompanied by a crap synthy-keyboard was just about enough to send me over the edge.
And now, now! It is the theme music for some TV programme. I don't know which programme (Fat Friends?) as the second I heard the synthy-keyboard I battered the remote control to make it change channel as soon as electronically possible. If I hadn't found the remote control in time, I may well have put my foot/the PS2 through the TV.
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quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: For me it's that cunt Bedingfield's limp-lettuce effort. I can't remember what it's called, but it goes: if I'm not made for you then [nasal whine set to stun]whhhhhyyyyyy does my heart telll me that I yam Good Fuck! I want to stamp on his face.
Lolol! I don't think I'm a particularly nasty man, but when I heard that he'd crashed his car I did actually do a tinkling little laugh, as though someone had just told me a knock-knock joke. Unfortunately the selfish fat fuck survived.
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quote:Originally posted by Raz: Like: tATu "All The Things She Said". Never have I had a greater desire to punch/kiss two average-looking teenage girls.
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: So will you be watching the TATU Reality Show?
*g-a-s-p* Miscen, that actually made my heart skip a beat. Made me once again feel that sense of lost, futile yearning for emotions and situations I will never know; a feeling I have not had since I last heard Uber Trick singing along to Ya Soshla S Uma (excellent rubbish translation link BTW) in a comedy posh voice.
quote: Followed by the TV watchers, the duo will be working at their second album. The penthouse of the Pekin Hotel in Moscow – Podnebesnaya was remodelled into a studio. The view from the penthouse goes to all directions, opening a beautiful panorama over Moscow. t.A.T.u. plans to use the music material of absolutely unknown authors.
Oh! I really want to see this! Do you think there will be a webcast? I cannot find the channel. Only:
Colenski
If I had only known, I would have been a locksmith
posted
Kylie _ I should be so fucking lucky, in fact any of those first S.A & W productions of the eighties. In fact I hold SAW personally responsible for the demise of the music industry today.
Remember the Hitman and Her, well, can we hire one?
-------------------- The wise have no motives; Fools put themselves in bondage.
quote:Originally posted by Colenski: Kylie _ I should be so fucking lucky, in fact any of those first S.A & W productions of the eighties. In fact I hold SAW personally responsible for the demise of the music industry today.
Remember the Hitman and Her, well, can we hire one?
Today's Pete Burns piccy...
You Spin Me Round (Like a Record).
Great tune, even 18 years on - a number 1 hit here and it almost cracked the US top 10.
One of those early SAW productions you were referring to Colenski.
Notice that I am NOT even attempting to defend The Reynolds Girls.
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posted
StevieX! Inspired by you/Burns, I wore an eyepatch to a party/awards thing and was the talk of the town/looked like a prick. A guy who won an award for his website asked for my e-mail address, and said he wanted me to be his illustrator! He didn't e-mail me, obviously, but still! Thanks.
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quote:Originally posted by Raz: StevieX! Inspired by you/Burns, I wore an eyepatch to a party/awards thing and was the talk of the town/looked like a prick. A guy who won an award for his website asked for my e-mail address, and said he wanted me to be his illustrator! He didn't e-mail me, obviously, but still! Thanks.
Always a pleasure.
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posted
"hello" by the beatles (I think that's what it's called - you say goodbye, and I say hello), "I got my mind set on you" by Geroge Harrison, "you win again" by the beegees, "looking for linda" by Hue and Cry. Hate them.
I wrote "buy" instead of "by". That was a typo rather than a mis-spelling. fingers like knitting needles, you see. slip off the keys easily.
[ 30.01.2004, 04:59: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: "hello" by the beatles (I think that's what it's called - you say goodbye, and I say hello)
[George Martin] Paul was driving around St Johns Wood in 1967 with his girlfriend, Leslie Ash, when he came up with the refrain "Hello". He played it to me on a hurdy gurdy at Abbey Road Studio 2 and I arranged a 32 piece orchestra to accompany the tune, which we then played backwards and added Brazillian cowbells to. When John and George came in later that day, John suggested we incorporate a song they used to play in the Hamburg days, "Goodbye". It fitted brilliantly. Over the next three weeks in the studio, the song took shape. There's seventeen different versions on the Anthology CDs. George had just come back from India and added a chant he'd heard from the Mahmatrakeshi Jumbi Dumbi, "Hey-la, hey, heh-loa". Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Eric Clapton and Wilbert O'Leary (I can't say who that really was, but he was British Prime Minister in the war) sang backing vocals. It was Keith Moon who came up with the idea of calling it, "Hello, Goodbye" and the name stuck. Ringo doesn't play on this song because it makes him want to gnaw his own left leg off." [/George Martin]
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: [George Martin][/George Martin]
Lool. Dang! Did you ever see the 'George Martin gets kidnapped by terrorists' sketch on Big Train, God knows how many years ago now.
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posted
I have been looking up Amelia Bullmore. She played Alan Partridge's girlfriend Sonja, amongst other things. She was in Corrie! She wrote two episodes in the first series of Attachments! I think I might be in love with her.
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schism
Can I borrow your underpants for ten minutes ?
posted
Anything by Warbling-Wittney Houston or that Horse faced bint who did the theme to the Titanic and who's name, thankfully, escapes me.
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quote:Steph immediately made an impact on The Street by luring Kevin Webster upstairs - and shaving off his moustache... 'new woman'...brash, self-assured and full of confidence...loosing her identity...err...sorry, a large Manchester department store...Steph soon grew tired of Des - particularly when he bought a large boat, installed it in their back garden, and lavished more time and attention on it...caught by Derek Wilton...on the maiden voyage of his boat, he reacted not by fighting for her love, but by setting fire to the boat
My, what an eventful life.
I would like a boat in my garden. I could live in it and pretend I was all at sea. In blizzard conditions. I'd batten down the hatches and drink steaming bitter cocoa, peeking out the portholes. I could have a sou'wester. The winds would shrill through the planks and flap the ropes (hurricane '87!). I'd attach it to a gigantic spring so it would rock from side to side at the slightest breeze. Or maybe I could install a wave machine! And a swimming pool. Everyone would come to see my boat. I would stand on the deck and look down on them haughtily, braced against the roiling green grass. I might get cabin fever and go crazy, though.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Philomel: Gets ever more fey Every day But in a Good Way.
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Warblers. Like Carey, Houston and Dion. Boybands. Like Westloife, Backpassage Boys, etc. Witless noize blacke moosic. Yo! And althought not exactly part of the genre discussed here, witless noise for those over thirty. Like the screeching shite scribbled by Arnold Schönberg.
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