posted
I've eaten in a fair few pubs lately where the food has been absolute gash. Pub grub doesn't have to be fancy, you don't need Michelin stars to get it right.
What would be on your ideal Pub Grub menu?
Perhaps you can recommend a pub that's getting it right?
posted
You can purchase two meals for £5.99 at a little local pub I found recently, which goes by the name of J. D. Wetherspoon.
Their minted lamb burger (served in a sort of round, dry bread-like substance, with some strips of fried potato and a tomato based relish) is simply exquisite.
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: At what stage was the lamb minted?
After a long chat with an extremely knowledgeable member of serving staff, I managed to ascertain that the lamb is 'minted' shortly after conception. The minting process goes as follows:
The pregnant mother is injected at regular intervals with a mint-infused liquid that merges with the amniotic fluid surrounding the lamb's foetus. Mother is fed nothing but fresh mint, mint Aeros, mint choc chip ice cream, and occasional After Eights.
Lambs born after this process have a distinctive green tinge to their coat, making them very difficult to see against a grassy background. Their unusual colouring also scares sheepdogs senseless. This obviously leads to increased production costs, but according to waitress Donna, these costs are offset out of the personal pockets of the Wetherspoon Management Team, with the aim of bringing high quality food to the masses.
I'm planning to try the scampi next time I have sufficient funds to visit this wondrous eatery. I'll be sure to find out as much as I can about their production methods.
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I'm planning to try the scampi next time I have sufficient funds to visit this wondrous eatery. I'll be sure to find out as much as I can about their production methods.
Perhaps you should start with an individual scampus, before committing yourself to an entire plate (or basket) full?
posted
Home made steak and mushroom pie + chips, with a pint or two of Ruddles. I'd tell you where, but there's not much point as it isn't in London.
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quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Home made steak and mushroom pie + chips, with a pint or two of Ruddles. I'd tell you where, but there's not much point as it isn't in London.
posted
why do people eat food in pubs? i dont get it. why? there are, after all, calories in beer. many of them. also, if you really need feel the need to masticate- scampi fries. they taste quite a lot like every scampus ive ever eaten, if not exactly, and if you eat one whilst drinking a mouthful of beer, you can pretend you are eating a scampus fried in a posh beer batter. for that, you know, full gastropub experience.
^^^^^^ i hope this post is an effective elucidation of why i now spend pretty close to zero percent of my life in pubs, and therefore am not fit for purpose re: further contribution to this thread.
-------------------- evil is boring: cheerful power Posts: 1655
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posted
Sunday lunch with all like BEEF and YORKSHIRES and veg and that. Also, bangers and mash and onion gravy. Some kind of pasta dish for gay vegetarians. And LEFFE and RED WINE. OM NUM NUM I fucking miss pub grub. I miss pubs. Stupid Sweden.
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posted
First-rate example yesterday. Local pub (Castle, Walthamstow) carvery. Turkey, yorkshires, parsnips, balls of stuffing, roast spuds, carrots, green beans, broccoli cheese, cauliflower cheese, gravy. I could barely fit it all on my plate, and had to wolf it down for fear of getting full before I'd finished. Plus, bitter shandy. Though I had to squeeze the drink into the interstices of the food packing my stomach.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
I haven't eaten crisps in one hundred and eleven days.
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posted
In summer, a ploughmans with a pint of cider is just about perfection. As long as there's granary bread and a pickled onion, not a baguette and pickle.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
I haven't had cheese for a hundred and eleven days, either.
Food has destroyed pubs. It's because of food that you can't even enjoy a harmless cigarette in pubs now. "For health reasons." Yeah, right. There's nothing to do in pubs now except drink and eat. That'll fix everyone's health then won't it. And now you can eat loads of food, you can drink more because it takes longer to get pissed when you've got food soaking it all up, right? And all that salt they put in it makes you thirsty, so you drink even more.
In the olden days they used to just put a few bowls of roast potatoes out from time to time, or make sure the food was so unappetising that even after eight pints you wouldn't fancy it.
Bring back the humble cigarette and rid us of this turbulent "Peppered Stilton Steaks with Charred Onions and Chips - £18.99" nightmare.
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quote:Originally posted by Pepper: In summer, a ploughmans with a pint of cider is just about perfection. As long as there's granary bread and a pickled onion, not a baguette and pickle.
I was once served a Ploughman's with sliced bread. Can you believe that? Sliced bread! And I got the full cold shoulder treatment from the entire staff of a pub in Scotland for a) commenting on the minuscule amount of cheese supplied and b) expressing my contempt when they failed to identify said cheeses. But, the sliced bread fiasco was absolutely the worst.
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: they failed to identify said cheeses.
In Tesco's at the moment they sell something called "Healthy Options Mild Cheese". I mistook this for Mild Cheddar recently, and only discovered my mistake when I made some cheese on toast with it. It bubbles up like melting plastic, and tastes like melted plastic as well (judging by the nibble I had before it went in the bin). God knows what it's made of. I certainly think the EU need to be informed anyway.
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quote:Originally posted by Pepper: Perhaps you should have stuck with the scotch egg.
Good grief! If they were prepared to serve sliced bread with a Ploughman's imagine what sort of nerve-shredding catastrophe they might have presented in the guise of the noble scotch egg?
I had White Port yesterday and hitherto the bottle being produced I had no idea it even existed. It's very very nice and I recommend everyone try it if they haven't already.
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: In Tesco's at the moment they sell something called "Healthy Options Mild Cheese". ... God knows what it's made of.
Yeah, if you look at the labels on some of those things they say they're made of 'cheese food product', as in 'Mild Cheese Slices - contain at least 12% Cheese Food Product'. Scary stuff. It's only a matter of time before they find their way into a Ploughman's.
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: of the noble scotch egg?
the scotch egg is NOT noble. it is ignoble with a capital IG. it is egg and pig wrapped in a jacket of IG, in fact. it is a mark of this governments unutterable shitwittery that they banned CIGS from pubs and yet there is nothing preventing a landlord from banging these vile, quasi- nutritious assaults on the mind and senses out to a captive audience for profit. these people are slavish running dogs with rheumy eyes. the only thing in the ENTIRE WORLD worse than a scotch egg is an egg that has been pickled. are you aware that in laboratory tests it was found that, contrary to popular belief, the vast majority of pickled eggs are not in fact pickled in malt vinegar, but in the tears of abused and orphaned infants? next time you see pickled eggs on the bar of a hostelry i ask you to do humanity a favour: open a jar, stick your nose in, open your lungs, and prepare to hear in your mind the click of a tiny manacle around a quivering wrist. egg- based pub snacks are as very far from noble as you or i are from the most far- flung ring of saturn. they are Of Satan. they are His Finest Work.
black mask should you ever find yourself in a town called priddy in somerset, i highly recommend a pub there which might be called the victoria but equally well might not. it has an open fireplace which belches out the smell of woodsmoke even in an august heatwave and it sells local ciders and is always full of an endearing mix of yokels and terribly naice tory- voting families, the female members of which all have utterly immobile coiffeurs. the food is not gastro, it is the opposite- it is BRUTAL. i dont even mean that pejoratively. it is served too hot but smells too tempting for you ever to let it cool, it fills you until you quail at the idea of moving. it is the kind of perfectly british pub food that demands a designated driver; it will rob you of your faculties. and everyone sits there going 'oh, that was good, oh i needed that, oh... i think i might have a nap on that ornamental plough in the garden. wake me when you leave, sling me in the boot, tie me to the roofrack if dont respond, im easy. tell me when its monday, i think im supposed to go to work or something'.
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: the scotch egg is NOT noble. it is ignoble with a capital IG.
Ooh, proper scotch eggs are noble. Soft boiled egg, wrapped in peppery minced pork, breaded and deep-fried in beef dripping, served with a tangy ppiiccaalliillii... EM NEM NEM NEM.
posted
its not happening, masky. not even you can write about scotch eggs in a manner which could ever, ever, EVER make me want to put one anywhere near my mouth.
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