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Look at all the chocolate in that bastard! Imagine trying to eat all that on christmas. By the time you got to the bear you'd probably eat that too. Or weep, clutching it tightly and rocking.
quote:Originally posted by London: Hey, on Twitter Benway revealed he's never even used a wanksock!
I haven't either. I actually can't believe anyone who would think to. For the most part, socks are quite small and cottony so it's just going to act like a tightly knitted jizz-sieve. The chunky viscous bits would be caught, but the more fluid parts would seep out of the bottom, thus making the wanksock fruitless. The very concept of a wank receptical that lets fluid go screams "GO ON. JUST WANK ON EVERYTHING" Jizzing on everything would be worse than wanking into your sock until you've got a ponky cotton-tipped didgeridoo.
chunky viscous bits? fluid parts? chicken soup? Perhaps you and Benway are in some sort of freaky chunky monkey spunky minority. I can categorically confirm that it IS possible to mop up normal spunk with a cotton sock.
Yes if you place the sock upon your knob and wank with it there, there could be friction issues and in an ideal world tissue is the ultimate mop up tool. But if you're too lazy to move from the couch or don't want to be caught taking a wad of loo roll downstairs late at night. Wank Sock is the answer.
Just mop it, turn it inside out and toss it into the washing basket and no one need ever know.
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quote:Originally posted by London: for some reason the prawns and the *shudder* gherkins in NWOD's and Jonesy's were kind of freaking me out. I definitely seem to be off my food (which never happens).
posted
Actually the wank sock is pretty much in the domain of the teenager, so therefore the sock would most likely be of a towelling variety, a sports sock, probably white in colour, and towelling as you know is pretty good for mopping wet stuff up. So, there you go, I win.
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It never occured to me you'd have to be a certain age for it to be successful, which is silly because I have heard of wet dreams. You fellas are endlessly fascinating.
-------------------- A day without laughter is a day wasted. In memory of Alastair Posts: 1936
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Unintentionally between7 and 8 climbing lamposts always gave me a special feeleing, I realise now with hindsight that I was in fact dry humping streetlights.
Proper wank, about 10..
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
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I started really late - living in a small flat where I could here my parents laughing at the television late into the night while I tried to sleep didn't help matters. Plus, I was quite paranoid as a youngster - I was about to 'try' wanking in the shower once, but heard my parents in the front room and became convinced that they had set up a video camera in the bathroom and was watching me. It was quite unnerving...
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2741
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quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Unintentionally between7 and 8 climbing lamposts always gave me a special feeleing, I realise now with hindsight that I was in fact dry humping streetlights.
Proper wank, about 10..
lolol
So that's what my brother was doing.
-------------------- A day without laughter is a day wasted. In memory of Alastair Posts: 1936
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About as far back as I can remember I always wanted to be a wanker.
Like Darryn, there was the years of dry humbing inanimate objects without really understanding what I was doing or why it felt good, which caused a few problems at school and some bad moments at a carol service one christmas. I think I was about 10 or 11 when I started stealing porn, and it was shortly after that that I worked out that I could basically fuck my hand and pretend that I was fucking the chicks in the pictures. First orgasm took an age, and now I think back I'm amazed I stuck at it for the half hour or so because I had no idea where I was heading with it. Just a sense of something building up, that there was something special just around the corner. And then of course the fireworks. Just a dribble of clear liquid the first time, instead of the litres of raspberry ripple coloured goo that explodes out these days.
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posted
I’m not sure I can give a very accurate answer to when it was I first started wanking. I think there were times when I’d maybe, when my parents weren’t around, draw a really crude picture of a naked lady, and that used to make me feel funny, but I was never really sure what to do past that point. I know it kind of progressed from there. But I had a medical condition for years which I wasn’t even properly aware of until a friend told me about it, where the end of my foreskin was virtually closed over. This meant it couldn’t slide back across the helm, making wanking problematic at best. I remember my first few ‘serious’ attempts to see what all the fuss was about, and when I got close I got a bit too aggressive with my Johnson and ripped my foreskin. The worst part about this was the fact that, on many occasions, my wanking experiences were with a chap I knew from school, whose parents had a porno channel. We’d wait till they went to bed, then sneak downstairs and, y’know. We weren’t gay or anything. Just kind of finding out about stuff.
That pretty much harshed the whole experience for me until, some time later, I was actually made aware of the fact that it shouldn’t actually be like that, and I was circumcised. This in itself didn’t immediately improve things, as it requires quite a different technique, as there’s less slack to play with in the skin. Obviously with a lubricant it’s fine but it was a while before I worked out that it’s best to take a up stroke before a down stroke, when wanking dry.
But since then it’s been plain sailing all the way
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Probably about age 10. Although it took me a while to get the hang of it. I think the first several times it was more of a flicking motion before i worked out that stroking worked a lot better.
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You should lol at that by the way. That's a professional level gag. I stole it from a Chuck Palahniuk novel from way back. So, if you're not laughing at it, your sense of humour obviously a bit fucked up. That's the sort of thing peoplewho get paid to come up with gags come up with. So.
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posted
Get out of the way Hades, you clumsy fucking... FUCK OFF! You're ruining it! Jesus Christ. It's like I'm doing a gymnast routine at the olympics and halfway through Hades has wandered onto the mat and absent mindedly started packing the bars away.
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One of the things that I like about you ringo is that you can start with the line I’m not sure I can give a very accurate answer to ....... and then go on to write a 296 word post.
Whilst educating me. lol
-------------------- A day without laughter is a day wasted. In memory of Alastair Posts: 1936
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