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As above. Hit by a cycle courier on his way to buy a seaweed wrap from Pret, apparently. Trying to get some more details from Jonesy.
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Maybe he was on his way to have a full body seaweed wrap then. I don't know what goes on in London anymore. Except Benway used to be at the cutting edge of it all, and now he's dead.
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tANGENTIALLY... A cyclist got hit by a lorry on Peckham High STreet a few weeks back. I got caught up in the mop-up. They closed the road all the way from Peckham Library right down to Camberwell! I had to cycle about for fucking ages to find my way to work. I thought there'd been a bomb-scare or something. The cyclist was alright. In case you were worried.
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Poor benway. Before he died I met up with him and asked why he hadn't been here for ages. He looked really thoughtful for a bit, as if he was going to say something long winded as an explanation. His face turned fierce and he spat 'because I hate them *****' and went back to his John Smiths.
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WKD if he's on a bender, you know? If he's drinking blue you know you're in for some wild times ahead! I remember when they did this offer yeah, with the bottle caps and we were in this club in shoreditch. There was this like, cotswolds weekend for 2 or something. Right, well this offer was on the bottletops and he asked the barmaid if he could have them because they were just throwing them away. They were all like 'what do you want the bottletops for?' and he was getting really irate with this barman with his hands out shouting at him. In the end he leant over the bar and dipped his hands in and pulled a handful out and threw them on the floor. Man, it was a classic. At the end though he was quite drunk and lairy and was asking for the bottletops off this girls takeout order and he started pulling on her bag. She shouted 'if you want them, you can have them!' and smacked him over the head with the bag and he just fell onto his arse. His cream suit got soaked with blue WKD and he was whining about it all the way home on the nightbus. Hysterical man. You should have been there.
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: WKD if he's on a bender, you know? If he's drinking blue you know you're in for some wild times ahead! I remember when they did this offer yeah, with the bottle caps and we were in this club in shoreditch. There was this like, cotswolds weekend for 2 or something. Right, well this offer was on the bottletops and he asked the barmaid if he could have them because they were just throwing them away. They were all like 'what do you want the bottletops for?' and he was getting really irate with this barman with his hands out shouting at him. In the end he leant over the bar and dipped his hands in and pulled a handful out and threw them on the floor. Man, it was a classic. At the end though he was quite drunk and lairy and was asking for the bottletops off this girls takeout order and he started pulling on her bag. She shouted 'if you want them, you can have them!' and smacked him over the head with the bag and he just fell onto his arse. His cream suit got soaked with blue WKD and he was whining about it all the way home on the nightbus. Hysterical man. You should have been there.
A night out with Benway was never uneventful, even if it wasn't always quite so dramatic. The last time I went out with him we kicked off the evening with a couple of cocktails in the members bar of the RFH, then we thought we'd slum it at the Hole In The Wall. Three or four pints in and Benway just started screeching at these old guys at the bar. Screeching. Like a big angry pterodactyl. I tried to calm him down a bit, and he started laughing quietly to himself. It was too late, though, the bar staff wanted us out. So, I walked Benway home, kissed him on the cheek and that was the last time he rang me.
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I was a bit surprised the other day when dead Benway commented on one of my photos on Flickr as well. I suspect he's just set up all these things to be done automatically.
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Probably Louise turning on his computer to clear out his Hentai collection. She probably kept it for a whle 'to remember him by', but it's been four or five days now - she's probably ready to move on.
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To be honest, I always felt that she was a bit too good for him. Although she's probably a bit upset at the moment, give it a couple of weeks and I reckon she'll have moved on and be quite glad.
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Has anyone seen the wrap? Has Louise got it, tell her I'll swap it for a mix tape I've done that's pretty bitchin' (simon and garfunkel at their most hardcore and a few choice bits from early Keane)
Tell her I'm sorry that her boyf died as well.
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quote:Originally posted by McDirts: Has anyone seen the wrap?
He never got round to buying the wrap, for God's sake! He was looking forward to it, and then he was hit by a cycle courier.
To be honest it's probably the way he would have wanted to go. Splattered by an Australian gap year student trying to scrape together some money for a bungee jumping expedition across the southern hemisphere. He loved all that stuff. Adventuring, extreme sports, life experiences. Absolutely loved it. He'd have been happy to give his life to something like that.
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The tragedy here is that he died ON THE WAY to get his wrap. He'd been going on about that seaweed wrap for months. The tragedy is that he never got to have it. I think it's a bit insensetive that you're all "oh, i hope he enjoyed the wrap" "I might have a wrap" "I'm so fucking rich that I sometimes buy five wraps and then just leave them to go off".
A man has died here without having a seaweed wrap and I don't think you realise quite how devestating this is for everyone involved.
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You're right. Sorry. Sorry Benway's spirit. Sorry Louise, Thorn, CiH, BM. Sorry. You guys all knew Benway far better than me. To me he was just another faceless internet gonk with a nice line in black speak yo. I'm sorry for being insensitive. As tribute I'd like to go to the Pret he was going to buy his Seaweed Wrap from and eat that Wrap. The one he was going to buy. I think it would be a fitting gesture if you, his friends, all dug deep to pay for me to make that tribute to his rich , varied, happy and ultimately tragically curtailed life. I'd need enough for a taxi to south london as well as the wrap. And a taxi back. £50 should cover everything. God bless Benway and RIP little cyber gonk. Posts: 979
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quote:Originally posted by Cherry In Hove: A man has died here without having a seaweed wrap and I don't think you realise quite how devestating this is for everyone involved.
Having said that, Kierkegaard argued that a man is only truly happy when he's dreaming of future happiness. So maybe Benway was at his most content when he was thinking about getting his wrap.
On the other hand, I once saw him threatenign to glass a woman in the pub when she mentioned Kierkegaard, so I don't know how much stock he set by that philosophy. Then again, he used to threaten people for all kinds of crazy reasons. He once threw a chair at a friend of mine for using air quotes. It was in a conversation about how much that guy hated air quotes. Benway was agreeing with him all along - the guy was laughing, did an impression of his boss going "We need to meet our 'targets'" and Benway threw a chair at his head.
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You're right. Benway had been thinking about the Seaweed wrap for weeks. According to Louise he'd printed out pictures of seaweed wraps (whilst in the office) and had made a little shrine in the corner of the lounge and would just sit staring longfully at it while she watched Eastenders.
I know he'd been saving hard to make sure that buying this wrap didn't cause him to miss gas payments and mean Louise had to have a cold shower again as she was pissed off when that happened before.
Pretty much his entire existence for the last weeks of his life was thinking about that seaweed wrap and how amazing it would taste. I don't think there is any chance that it could have met his expectations and I think we all know that had this happened, we would instead be mourning a Pret sandwich artist rather than an amish accountant.
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Very nice of you to post that information McDirts.
I've set up a direct debit of £50 a month to the Donkey Sanctuary in your name. It's what Benway would have wanted. He loved donkeys.
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