posted
But I bet neither of you hate one of your aunts as much as I hate mine.
-------------------- They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy. Posts: 1847
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quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: It's about the time I fell into the seal enclosure in the Sea-Life centre in St. Andrews.
lol. I know three people - other than you - who have all done this too, in similar circumstances to yourself. I think every youth in and around St. Andrews has "broken into" that seal enclosure at least once. It sounds like I'm belittling your near-death experience doesn't it.
I don't think I've nearly been killed by nature. One time I fell out of a tree into a burn, and another time I was with some friends who accidentally set fire to a field full of hay bales which nearly killed us twice - once by flames, once by farmerpoliceparentsteacher rage - but arson isn't really nature is it.
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posted
That's as in how much I hate my aunt, not at NWOD or Philomel.
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quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Dude, that was the joke...
So was my post! Or maybe I can claim that it was a dig at Hippychick making NWoD's Running Man pastiche explicit, yesterday? I don't know. Which of these backtack techniques is the forum most likely to let me get away with? Maybe I can direct everyone's attention away from me by pointing out that handbag currently has several astonishing threads in progress at the moment, including discussions on which way is the best way to wipe your arse, do men have sperate holes to wee out of and cum out of and best of all the 15 page discussion on how come people find dildos shaped like Jesus on the cross so offensive? I know it sounds like I'm making this up but I'm definitely not. Why don't people read them instead of picking on me?
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discussions on which way is the best way to wipe your arse, do men have sperate holes to wee out of and cum out of and best of all the 15 page discussion on how come people find dildos shaped like Jesus on the cross so offensive?
See, now I remember when TMO was like this. What happenened?
[ 19.11.2004, 09:30: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
posted
Don't be sad Uber. I'm just hungover and Thorn's wording struck me a bit funny.
When I was about 8, me my brother and best friend all being strong swimmers decided we were going to swim the half mile out to an island or the coast of Brittany. Our parents were not remotely bothered by this, as it was in the crazy years when kids played outside and did stuff like that all the time, and nobody sued their parents. So e set out, all front crawling as fast as our limbs would carry us, with the idea of having a race to get there first. Unfortunately and typically, just as we got far enough out for our parents to assume our frantic splashing was waving not drowing, we realised that there was long, thick, tangled seaweed which reached to the surface of the water, and that every stroke we took wrapped our limps in it until we couldn't go forwards, backwards, nor indeed move our arms to keep ourselves afloat. Obviously, we panicked like bastards, got even more tangled up and it was only when my friend actually started to disappear that my parents, pissed on Le Vieux Pescheur and le soleil francais, realised something was wrong and came storming out to help us.
It was a hideous experience, and transformed me from a confident and strong swimmer to a fucking freak who panics in open water, assumes that anything touching me underwater must be Jaws/the jellyfish from the 3 commercial/the seaweed of death, and who has to get of swimming pools when I'm the only person in there because the fear of being alone in water is too strong to overcome. All three of us woke up screaming in the months afterwards with nightmares about suffocation and drowning.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
quote:Originally posted by Modge: It sounds like I'm belittling your near-death experience doesn't it.
Actually you've made me feel marginally less stupid, which is a good thing! Also I don't feel so bad about the seals now: this sort of thing is clearly regular evening entertainment for them.
Sidney: Ow. just, Ow. I want to slather myself in factor 50 and never go in the sun again.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Maybe I can direct everyone's attention away from me by pointing out that handbag currently has several astonishing threads in progress at the moment, including discussions on which way is the best way to wipe your arse, do men have sperate holes to wee out of and cum out of and best of all the 15 page discussion on how come people find dildos shaped like Jesus on the cross so offensive? I know it sounds like I'm making this up but I'm definitely not. Why don't people read them instead of picking on me?
We need links, Thorn. You don't honestly expect us to browse around Handbag's fora, do you? And I don't want to have to type "wee cum holes" into their search box...
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
The best/worst thread on there at the moment is the one where it emerges that an alarming proportion of adult females were not aware that wee has its own special hole, and does not come out of the vagina like what babies do.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: The best/worst thread on there at the moment is the one where it emerges that an alarming proportion of adult females were not aware that wee has its own special hole, and does not come out of the vagina like what babies do.
Are you taking the piss? Christ! I knew that - and I don't even have a vaginer.
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quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: See, now I remember when TMO was like this. What happenened?
But as discussed we all know each other now. If Thorn was to describe his favourite ply, texture and angle of wipe it would be like being in the room. It would be like crouching a foot away from from Thorns arse as he wipes and says 'eeeeasy does it' and then both inspecting the paper. It would be like kneeling down facing Thorns shit-locker and saying
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: The best/worst thread on there at the moment is the one where it emerges that an alarming proportion of adult females were not aware that wee has its own special hole, and does not come out of the vagina like what babies do.
I was suprised by that, too. Even I know that a woman has a special hole to wee out of. But then, I have watched an awful lot of footage of women peeing, so maybe I am privileged.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
The first post might be a wind-up, but then it becomes horribly clear that other people aren't joking and are genuinely suprised to find that this is indeed the case.
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It was just a jok, but basically that while I only get my hair laughed at, you are forced to go out to sea for the sake of a holiday snap. I thought I'd just take it light hearted rather than be accused of not loving my dad.
Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
It's not plagiarised! Or if it is, it's only plagiarised in the same way that song lyrics or quotes are in signatures. GOD LOUCHE I HATE YOU.
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