i love how the vendor has added the word 'fetish' to the heading as if, like, anybody ever... no, seriously? oh man. the human mind is a marvellous maze of amazingness.
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yes, and of the 96 (??? surely shome mistake) pairs of pants on sale on ebay, at least 2 thirds proudly vaunt their BNWT status. buy my pants, from a smoke free home, they are BNWT, never been worn, never been worn! which is surely so not the point. i want white cotton panties that have been worn for four days straight by a japanese lolita chain-smoking cigars with her hair in bunches! (when i say 'i', i am putting myself into the mind of a slathering pervert, by the way. i am typing in character.)
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Erugh. I had a really vivid dream about my foot fetish ex last night. Lisa and I had to go to his house (I don't know why, it was just one of those dream things you HAD to do) and do a thing which involved taking off your shoes and socks. Lisa took them off and did the task, whatever it was, with no problems. Then I gritted my teeth and took mine off and I was like, o dear here we go and then there was this shuffly squelchy sound of sweaty palm on warm pole and I knew my ex had started masturbating at the sight of my stinky, unpedicured toes. Bleargh. I DON'T GET IT!
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i would quite like to have a foot fetishist boyfriend for a while, if it meant they paid for me to have pedicures and stuff. my feet are unbearable at the moment, but they could be things of extraordinary beauty. amp please can i have the telephone number of your ex, oh no but first, does he like women whose feet are like, fixer- uppers.
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quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: i would quite like to have a foot fetishist boyfriend for a while, if it meant they paid for me to have pedicures and stuff. my feet are unbearable at the moment, but they could be things of extraordinary beauty. amp please can i have the telephone number of your ex, oh no but first, does he like women whose feet are like, fixer- uppers.
Is that a new idea for a programme I feel welling within me? A foot perve could be given money to transform a lady's parmesan-like feet into silky wonders, perfect for tickling a calf up a trouser leg from across the table.
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I love the fact that the photo was taken next to an earring so you can tell the size. Because, as we all know, earrings are always exactly the same size.
quote:Originally posted by squeegy: Bah, I would totally do this but the package would have to have left about 3 weeks ago. Is there a time limit? Would it be OK to get a secret easter bunny?
Well perhaps if you did an exchange with some random Canadian who lives in your city? You could send something African, and she could send you a tin of genuine maple syrup. Or something.
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ralph, are you stalking endemic across the boards? It seems you post right behind her, even if it's only a to post a smilie. What's that about, then?
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quote:Originally posted by Travelling Canadian: Well perhaps if you did an exchange with some random Canadian who lives in your city? You could send something African, and she could send you a tin of genuine maple syrup. Or something.
Yeah, but just sending maple syrup smacks a bit of a lack of imagination, or at least a lack of industriousness. If I had a Canadian as my secret santa, I'd expect to at least get a moose, preferably one fastened to a large maple tree.
The postage might be the least of the obstacles to overcome, but I wouldn't want to underestimate what another forumite might be capable of.
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quote:Originally posted by Travelling Canadian: Well perhaps if you did an exchange with some random Canadian who lives in your city? You could send something African, and she could send you a tin of genuine maple syrup. Or something.
Real maple syrup? All you can get round here is MAPLE (flavoured) SYRUP which is totally not the same thing.
So, still in Gabs huh? You should have been at BotswanaMeat with me and the Niffer. It was good.
eta: A moose would be cool. I'll swap you a moose for a kudu.
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I went to the beautician training school place near Oxford Circus (you can get stuff real cheap!) and there was some guy in a suit getting a pedicure. The sight of a wee girl kneeling on the floor in front of a big gruffty business man, rubbing his feet, was somewhat uncomfortable. He seemd to like it though.
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Here is their website...http://www.lond-est.com/
This site seems to be aimed at people wanting to enrole rather then customers. Im sure there used to be a site with treatments etc listed but I cant find it right now. They do yer general range of stuff....feet/nails, waxing, massage, facials etc. But for cheap!
The drawbacks being that they are only open weekdays and not evenings, and you might get a beginner who takes ages to do whatever it is she is doing.
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Wow excellent! I am totally going to have a massage and manicure and pedicure! But what the fuck is "Vacuum Suction"?! Also: G5 (Mechanical Massage) ?!?!
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how on earth can people tolerate a job where they have to pamper men's feet? I would probably rather suck a cock than have to handle some trench footed layabout's disgusting hooves.
Well. Maybe not suck cock. Maybe like, offer kisses or something. Not that I would do that. I'm just saying that I'd be able to handle that more than doing men's feet. I'm not bent! I'm not.
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THIS IS VERYEXCITING. we already have two elves who i dont even know who they are! imagine the excitement! im very excited everybody! you can tell, because my grammar is from ass!
okay i am bringing the deadline forward so that i can do all the matching tomorrow when i am supposed to be working ha ha. the deadline is now
6 PM THIS EVENING
did you get that, i said
6 PM THIS EVENING
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When I'm doing a massage if the person has really minging feet I get a Wet One (lol) and say very chirpily "I'm just going to refresh your feet". A trick I learnt from my reflexologist. Actually, I do that regardless of if their feet are minging or not because a) it feels nice for them and b) because rubbing strangers feet is just a bit ick isn't it?
Mind you, my first job was in Olympus Sports in Bromley. I had to wear a tracksuit and you had to help horrible Bromley people and their stinking sweaty feet into the latest Nike. That job sucked pretty hard. Harder than being paid to rub oil into naked people anyway.
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Wow excellent! I am totally going to have a massage and manicure and pedicure! But what the fuck is "Vacuum Suction"?! Also: G5 (Mechanical Massage) ?!?!
maybe if you apply the end of a vacuum cleaner to the soles of your feet it does things to your circulation. oh oh oh! like gwyneth paltry when she went out with those big suction marks on her back yeah yeah yeah thats what she was doing she and chris martin were doing reiki massage at home with the vaccuum cleaner that has a funny smiley face on it*. all drunked up and cocking about with the hoover. i love those guys. i bet its just no end of apeing about round their gaff. i bet they spend hours wrestling like puppies on the floor and doing loogie fights.
* what is this vacuum cleaner called? it is not bobby, tommy or billy, i know cos i googled them.
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I remember it as drippy ex-boyfriend said 'oh look. Henry's being taken for a ride. Do you think he likes it?' pointing out the vacuum cleaner on a cleaner's trolly.
Sadly, this was at an airport on a way to a week's holiday.
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Scrawny's. Maybe Carter's too though, I don't know. Heh - its the annual TMO trivia time!What trivia do you know about another forumite's real life? Best bit of trivia wins a prize!
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