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» TMO Talk » The Library » Traditional VDay Thread.

   
Author Topic: Traditional VDay Thread.
jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Lonely Hearts.

Please Fone!

Failing forum seeks a welcome injection of new blood. Been around the block one time too many - I'm faded and jaded and dry as bone dehumidifier in the Sahara. Pump me with plasma before my brittle veins shatter like glass. Restart my heart or lose this Life forever. PO BOX 999.

Turn your back on IT and present it to me! Rimming Roman seeks object to subject to gladiatorial combat. Must be good in a clinch, have an appetite for oysters and possess own homoamplus bellows. Call today or its hard cheese for me.

[ 14.02.2006, 11:14: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Satine
TMO Member
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
PO BOX 999.

I thought it was PO BOX 666.

Dear Life,

Fear not, for your princess in shining armour is here! Open your forum and present me with your best threads and I'll be sure to get in there and leave clear evidence of my passing! [Wink]

--------------------
May I recommend the donkey in the bus shelter with a baseball bat?

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Sensitive stranger seeks Calgon Man to grind her element. If you're in the mood for monkey business then I'll hose you down with lilac prose and swallow your banana. Load me up and turn me on. I'll even do the dishes afterwards.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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Single white female ( [Big Grin] ), 20ish, seeks Cock! pref between 6.5" and 6.7", and intelligent conversation. Elven looks a bonus. Please do not apply if you are ugly, stupid, vegetarian, ginger, into batman, nazi, a horror fan, into cars, a chav, american, over 30, have ear hair, wax your chest, like Ben Elton books, have more than five moles on your back, have a beard.

I'm 5'7" and not interested in shorter men or men that are taller than 5'10". I like flowers, ponies and Lord of the Rings, and I expect to have my back massaged at least once every day. You must be able to cope with being teased (not in a sexual way), and being shouted at on a two-week-in-four basis. Did i mention that i don't like vegetarians or chavs?

Must have cock. (not circumcised or bent)

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MiscellaneousFiles

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Fuck it. If only I were an inch shorter...
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Good Fairy
We'll be the pirate twins again
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So you're looking for a gay man then.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Daytime edition.

Wanted, 70s lover for serious academic experiment. Must have staying power, twin peaks and an open mind. Turn offs: staring into space like you're in a coma at crucial moments.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Evening edition.

Wanted, 70s lover for serious academic experiment. Must have staying power, twin peaks and an open mind. Turn offs: staring into space like you're in a coma at crucial moments. No more septuagenarians please. Think Bowie, not biddy.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Dead horse wants flogging. Apply within.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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This thread makes me want to hug Jonesy.

And I don't do hugging people.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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It's Valentine's Day, though, isn't it? I expect you're always mushy on Valentine's Day, Louche.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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You impugn me, sir! I am never mushy. I am the epitome of everything that is unmushy. Totally mushless.
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Satine
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Louche is right, Jonesy.

She is so unmushy, when she dies and gets buried, no fungi will grow out of her.

--------------------
May I recommend the donkey in the bus shelter with a baseball bat?

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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I know you are unmushy, Louche. I was just probing your arid heart to see if a teardrop of moisture vapour might escape and hover in the air like a little Pootle cloud, before bursting into a mist of fine sand and raining down to be trodden in with the dirt.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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My core is like totally frozen and has been since 1992. It can't even be smashed with sophisticated ice hammer like tools. I can watch those adverts with homeless dogs in them and abused cats without even feeling anything. Actually, I get off on the abused cats a bit.
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London

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But you got married! So you must believe in love.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Yeah, you need to be more committed to your persona than that.
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Satine
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Did Louche marry a homeless cat?

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May I recommend the donkey in the bus shelter with a baseball bat?

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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quote:
Originally posted by London:
But you got married! So you must believe in love.

I believe in fucking good frocks.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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Ice Maiden seeks Brave Mountaineer

In a heavy suffocating cold wet cloak night shall fall and alone are we both in world with no cares.
All hope will sicken and die in a velvet ebon nothingness.
Your heart desires nothing. We are nothing.
Shadows surround us, crying, we have lost our way, we are the lost....
There is no hope and nothing will break through my frozen dead heart.

Frozen on the inside, crunchy on the outside!! 20 something gothic grrrrlie seeks brave man to clamber upon her slippery mountains, slide down into her icy crevasse and thaw her glacier like heart. Likes feline suffering, walks in the park and cosy nights in. G.S.O.H.

[ 14.02.2006, 10:12: Message edited by: not... ]

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Hurrah for not!
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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lo
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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seeks l. Byoodiful. I die.

[ 14.02.2006, 11:22: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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We don't deserve you, Jonesy. We really don't.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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I tried Jonesy. Not really that hard but goddammit I tried... [Frown] [Frown] [Frown]
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whheee
[Frown]
ah

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