posted
Sorry to bore you all with the recent updates about work related shenaniyawns, but in a turn for the betterer, assertive guy called me up yesterday evening and wanted an interview for tomorrow afternoon. Now, we all know I'm some kind of massive pathetic idiot, that in the company of ordinary people, manages to string together a complete sentence. In an interview situation however, I'm prone to saying stupid fucking things (recent example on 'greatest achievement?' piped up with a chuffy voice 'I'm teh fire marshall' - oh you penis) and I really, really want this position, as it promises stripping down my knowledge and intense training into 2nd line IT work. Bonuses and pension too. I don't deserve it, but I am COSMIC ORDERING a good job. I am buying it with my mind. Kerching. Hooray.
So TMO, for this thread, I would like you to roleplay a little (lol-material encouraged) and submit your all time most difficult interview questions you have been asked, your comedy responses (done before I know, humour me) and have a little whirl at trying to answer everybody elses submissions. If you do (I promise not to write in brackets anymore)
Pension Fund: I don't know. I'm asking you.
[ 28.03.2007, 09:38: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
posted
It's been (counts fingers) 8 years since my last proper interview (interviews for films tend to go; so what was he like to work with? Are you available? Will you do it for this much?) and I can't remember actually caring enough back then to look enthusiastic, so I'm suprised I managed to ever work. Acutally thinking back, the job I held for the longest was given to me when my supervisor said "well, no one else went for it, so if you want it, it's yours".
I have just applied for a job though, so maybe I need to think of examples of when I have used my initiative in a problem situation while sounding humble?
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posted
I hope you said "good day to you sir!" in a huffy way, and stormed out.
I always hated the "any questions?" part of interviews. Mainly because I was going for shit work, and just thought "I'm not that interested, seriously. I'll do what you ask me to, if you pay me, but I don't care."
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quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Where do you see yourself in five years time ?
I always hate this question - it's a kind of "Guess what I want to hear!" sort of thing and you can talk yourself out of the job by either sounding too pushy or too unambitious. Plus it's a stock question. I usually give it a stock answer along the lines of:
"At the moment, I'm essentially looking to develop my skills in the area of [list skills that the job requires] and really, to excel in a role where I can [list the main elements of the role]. So i'll be looking at taking those elements forward and meeting the challenges that arise as a result."
"Biggest achievement" is another stock question, and I tend to answer it twice, giving an example from my everyday life that can be broken down in terms of the core skills of the job: eg "PLaying XXX gig was incredibly satisfying because it represented the culmination of weeks of organisation, planning and dedication. You know, I was able to pick out this chance for us and see it all the way through to the event - that felt really good," and then following it up with a work related one and doing the same thing.
I think the worst question I've ever been asked was "Would it be fair to say you know bugger all about finance?" abotu halfway through an interview for a job on a finance magazine. I gave the most honest answer I've ever given in a job interview: "Yes." In fact, all the hardest questions have been from really clear minded interviewers where they've homed in on a weakness in my experience, and I've just squirmed there, trying to explain it away.
Perhaps the best bit of interview advice I've heard on here was from Kovacs, who related an interview where someone asked him what he would do if someone asked him a question outside his area of expertise and 'vacs replied "Come to you for advice", at once flattering the interviewer, being modest, sensible and most crucially placing the idea of working alongside the interviewer in their head. I took that to heart and always kept a lookout for the "When I'm working here..." opportunity.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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Try not to go into too much negative detail about why you're leaving your current position (ie ranting at great depth about what a cunch of bunts they are). This was mentioned in interview feedback I had once (after I'd been made redundant just before Christmas).
I don't think any interview could be as fucked up as the one I had to be PA to an international arms dealer in Warsaw, with questions on different types of weaponry and borders. And my pub quiz knowledge failed me and I forgot the capital of Pakistan!
The toughest TEFL interview I ever had was for the poxiest school- who the fuck did they think they were?
Your selling points are surely that you want this job, can do it and are keen to turn perm.
Try not to fuck it up, eh!
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Try not to go into too much negative detail about why you're leaving your current position (ie ranting at great depth about what a cunch of bunts they are).
Yes, definitely don't say anything bad about your current employer - like I did once. Upon being asked why I was leaving my current position, I made the mistake of letting the truth spill out.
Interviewer: So why do you want to leave XYZ?
Me: [chews on top lip] Erm.
Interviewer: Have you been mistreated by your boss or something? What's brought you here?
Me: [face goes red with anger] Well... There have been some incidents of late, but...
Interviewer: Who is your boss?
Me: Mark Smith.
Interviewer: Ha ha. Is that the slimy, arrogant coke-head who swaggered up to me at last week's presentation and told me - in front of three of my colleagues - that I "didn't have a fucking clue how the industry works" and that "I should stop trying to pinch his fucking staff"?
Me: Yes, that's him.
Interviewer: What a fucking wanker he is.
Me: Er.
Interviewer: How much notice do you have to give?
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posted
I actually had a competency based interview about a month ago so I'm just trying to remember what the questions were.
While my stupid brain tries to remember something quite important that happened like just a few weeks ago I shall mention that I despise competency based interviews as obviously everyone just makes stuff up for them so it's all about whether you can make up something believable and good on the spot.
I think the questions I was asked were
"Obviously the quality of work is of utmost importance but at times there is a necessity to produce a high quantity of work as well. Describe a time when you were having to do more work than normal and what you did to ensure the quality of your work remained high"
"Describe a situation you had in the workplace where you had a different work ethic to one of your colleagues and what you did to resolve this"
There was one more that I really can't remember at the moment.
I believe that the bit at the end where they ask if you have any questions is incredibly important to the interview as it gives them the chance to see that you know about the company/role and that you are interested in the work. It also gives you the chance to (as Nathan mentioned earlier) put in the interviewer's mind you working there.
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quote:Originally posted by SilverGinger5: I believe that the bit at the end where they ask if you have any questions is incredibly important to the interview as it gives them the chance to see that you know about the company/role and that you are interested in the work. It also gives you the chance to (as Nathan mentioned earlier) put in the interviewer's mind you working there.
Yeah, it's always worth having a couple of questions written down on your notepad before you go in, just in case nothing leaps out at you in the interview. Stuff like "It's clear XXXXX is a very competitive industry, so - although it almost seems churlish to ask given the initiatives you've already outlined - what are the company's plans for remaining at the leading edge?"
and also prepare one about the role itself, along the lines of where it leads or something like that.
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Try not to go into too much negative detail about why you're leaving your current position (ie ranting at great depth about what a cunch of bunts they are).
Ah yes. I have made a mental note to keep it short and sweet when describing my reasons for leaving as today I had to sign and hand in a contract and I'm going for the interview tomorrow, so I had to 'fess up about my notice period as they asked if I was temporary or permanent and that was a bit of a bridge to cross. I focussed on the more obvious aspects of not receiving any details about the job and then being asked to switch over to 12 hour shifts and weekend work on the day of the signing. My contact for employment has been excellent so far, advising me what his manager is looking for and what I'll need to focus on.
posted
You hide the wasps in your pants, when you take a seat for the interview you surreptitiously release the wasps, then you courageously despatch the wasps and they have to give you the job out of sheer gratitude.
posted
I forgot to mention. Our landlady brought some Dungaree Warrior around the flat to check the attic and winced when my flatmate overheard him announce loudly "Yeeeep. There's about seven wasps nests up there"
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