posted
Not only has Alterna-Benny the Ball been called about the interview that he had last week, and probably been offered the job, but he almost definately hasn't had his evening class that he was about to start teaching tomorrow evening cancelled because not one alterna person signed up for it.
Stupid Alterna-Benny the Ball
-------------------- If Chuck Norris is late, time better slow the fuck down Posts: 2740
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posted
Hey Benny, that's how life goes when you're stuck on Shit-Earth as shit-you.
*hands Benny a beer
Don't envy those Alterna-Earth folk. Right now, Alterna-Nathan probably isn't stuck in a directionless role for an Architectural practice which doesn't seem to know why they hired him. He's probably out touring Australia, reading from his latest novel to lecture halls full of star-struck sluts, spending the gap between sentences eyeballing the front row and working out just how many adoring fans he can reasonably smuggle into his hotel room. But you know the thing about these Alterna-Earth guys. They're a bunch of jerks. They're assholes. This life, you know, it's shittier. But it's ours, man.
toasts benny, swigs from bottle, staggers off to be sick in a bush
posted
remember - as well as vlookup, there's also an hlookup. And never underestimate the power of SEARCH nested within IF.
I'm doing a spreadsheet at the moment as well.
quote: If dataswitch = "time" Then
'find and add hours to total
timecell = (ActiveCell.Offset(0, 7) / 60) If timecell < 0 Then GoTo nc2 If timecell > MaxTime Then overtimenumber = overtimenumber + 1 overtimetotal = overtimetotal + timecell End If If timecell <= MaxTime Then CellCount = CellCount + timecell
ElseIf dataswitch = "users" Then
'find and add unique users to total CellCount = CellCount + 1 End If totalusers = totalusers + 1
posted
I'm writing a press release at the moment; a load of shit to do with Wigan. I want to put a quote from one of our guys in there, but every time I try and think of something for him to say it just comes out as "I hope everyone in Wigan dies."
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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posted
I'm dealing with a bunch of FUCKS in local councils.
In Alterna-work world, council employees would answer the phone within five times of ringing them, reply to emails, and not have major arse-elbow differentiation issues.
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posted
How are things going, down in London? I don't suppose anyone there has mentioned me...? Noticed that I've... gone? No... no I don't suppose they have...
-------------------- Now that you've called me by name? Posts: 2007
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posted
Somebody was talking about you up here, Thorn, very briefly, earlier, wondering how you were getting along, and stuff, and whether moving to Oxford has changed you at all, that sort of thing. Just the usual office gossip, really.
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![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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