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Can't remember whether we've done this, but maybe all our thousands of thrusting, throbbing, newer members have some thoughts they'd like to paint on the screen in their dazzling pearlescent newb-jam? Thought so! So, quite simply:
What music do you want at your funeral?
It’s your last chance to express yourself: what do you want to say? Do you want people to feel sad or happy? Or both at the same time?
How do you sum up a life?
Answers on a postcard. Poster fist - later, when I've had a little think. Now - you!
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If I reach the age of 40, I intend to compose a piece of music specifically for my funeral. It will never be played until the day itself, when it will be performed live for the first and only time by a group of specially trained musicians, backed by choir of castrati.
The gigantic crowd of mourners will each be given a limited edition CD of the track with a picture of me smiling wistfully on the cover.
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I suppose you would have a captive audience at your own funeral; a rare opportunity to actually get them to listen to that stuff you keep recommending to people and they never bother with.
So, to anyone that's thinking of attending my funeral, I recommend you take a cushion, a bottle of wine and a pack of sandwiches. We've got a lot to get through.
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Good Riddance (Time of your Life) - Green Day. Just bloody beautiful.
Don't worry about me - The Wildhearts - great singalong as they send me up in smoke.
And I very much like Dang's Idea of a musical retrospective on your passing. At the wake maybe even dish out my CD's to all and sundry - a little permanent musical momento of my life (but no fighting over the original picture disk of Generation Terrorists please!)
I Will Follow You into the Dark - As sung by Death Cab For Cutie
I used to want Champagne Supernova by Oasis and Love me and Leave me by the Seahorses too, but as I get older I think maybe not..
So I'll have to have a think about the rest. It might be nice to end on a joke though, perhaps Frigging In The Rigging.
I know she's No 1 in the Uk at the moment, but can I just mention here how much I love Lily Allen ! What an album, she's got the hit CD of this summer on her hands there - Standout tracks LDN and Everything's Just Wonderful are just the best things so far about this summer.
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
quote:Originally posted by dang65: I suppose you would have a captive audience at your own funeral; a rare opportunity to actually get them to listen to that stuff you keep recommending to people and they never bother with.
Oof! That hurts, dong69.
Note to self: Bribe someone to lock the crematorium doors, just in case.
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I could be a tight fucker and have everyone clutching for handfuls of anti-depressants by playing 'November Rain', but I'd rather the audience be enlightened by my demise by playing 'The World Keeps Turning', by Napalm Death, followed by Sade's 'Smooth Operator'.
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In the distance an audible rumble was heard. The sky above was black with churning grey clouds. It was almost as if the weather itself was paying its respects to the recently deceased. Atop a mound, next to an oak tree, a procession were burying the remains of Thorn Trevor Newton Davis in a cemetary not too far away from the outskirts of his hometown.
The sound of rustling leaves were trying to drown out Bach's Prelude in C Major that was being aired over a rattling PA. Someone had taped thick plastic around the tops of the speakers so that the electrics would not fail in the torrent. One of the corners of the sheeting has come undone and was flapping wildly, further drowning out any beauty mustered from the classical piece. They were preparing to put him into the earth. All around, mourners were carrying umbrellas. From above, the grave was surrounded by a donut of black. O! They were saying. The rain was hammering down at this point and the mourners were throwing flowers into Thorns fancy casket. The task in itself was pointless given the circumstances. The petals and heads were being torn away from the stems due to the strength of the rain. Snorton cursed as the moment he threw a dozen black roses onto the casket, the rain instantly washed away the ink on the attached card. The rain smushed his parting words into a pulpy mess. He scowled. He had been up all night thinking of something witty to write and settled proudly on 'LOL! You got AIDS' It was particularly annoying, because barely anyone gets AIDS from journalism anymore.
'It's a shame we couldn't find his musical wishlist for the funeral' remarked Octavia. 'he'd be really pissed off about that I reckon' She turned away from Physics face and smiled at Thorn, who could be seen through the caskets window. His arms were crossed against his chest, his fingers triumphantly displaying devil horns. His face, fixed as if he is appreciating Metal for all of eternity. 'You know?' she said quietly 'they had to break his arms with a lump hammer to get them like that' Physic did not say anything, but looked on thoughtfully. She continued 'his fingers were so gnarled they had to super glue lolly-pop sticks to get those devil horns' To this Physic raised one eyebrow and tilted his head. He was clearly impressed at the end result.
Across the other side a Ms Poetess stood amongst a group of 20-something girls. They were colleagues from Thorn's last job. A rag tag of office dollies. They were suitably dressed in Miss Selfridge's Mourning Glory range. Cheap mascara pissing down their faces. The group were crying, loudly and hysterically. Ms Poetess surrounded by suffering rolled her eyes and turned her look towards her butler, Benway who was stood solemnly holding her umbrella in one white gloved hand. With a nod he produced her hand bag and she pulled out a Sony Walkman. She flipped open the walkman and looked at her own handwriting on the C90 tape. Her neat handwriting titled the tape with simply 'Appetite for Destruction' She flipped it shut again and plugged her ears with the headphones. As they slowly lowered the casket, Welcome to the Jungle kicked in. Now it was hard to tell from where she was stood, but Ms Poetess was almost certain that Thorn was smiling. There was no mistaking it. he did appear to have a firmly fixed smirk on his face as they lowered him into the ground.
[ 10.07.2006, 06:28: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
My funereal sountrack would be AC/DC - Hell's Bells, one of my favourite tracks of all time and probably quite appropriate at the same time.
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I want "Feeling Hot,Hot,Hot!" by whoever sang it. Or failing that "My heart will go on" from Titanic or "Bright Eyes" Art Garfunkel or "everybody Hurts" REM that's great, really hits ths spot or "the Drugs dont work" Verve....
I've been to funerals when every one of those have been played, luckily not all one after the other. Music like that at funerals is very naff. I've come to the conclusion, I want Jerusalem played, with a male voice choir, as no one wants to sing and some welsh choir singing at the end. I dont want the curtain to close, I just want everyone (both of them) to get out and get to the party.
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It's a bit convoluted, but I want to have a pacemaker fitted, and then be cremated, and explode just as Helen Love break into the first chorus of 'Does Your Heart Go Boom?' How fucking awesome would that be!
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Maybe play nothing but depressing music, so that even if people weren't crying, they'd be crying by the time they left. Or at least slightly miserable.
Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Radiohead - How to Disappear Completely. If there's anyone feeling sad at my demise that'll cheer 'em right the fuck up in a 'thank christ she won't be inflicting that shit on us anymore' kind of way.
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I dunno. Whatever you choose you can bet your last will and testament that at least 99% of the people there are going to miss the point, so in that sense, almost anything would perfectly sum up my life. I don't really know what I want people to be feeling at my funeral, regret sadness, happy to have known me, willing to take inspiration from the way I lived. So - you know - I'll just go with whatever the funeral parlour has lying around, someone can do a reading of something so generic as to be pointless (that Auden one, or maybe Death is Not The End) and completely fails to bear any relation to me or the way I live.
Insofar as I can even bring myself to care what would be played at my funeral, I suppose it would depend on how I died. A song like 'Blaze Of Glory' is going to have a different effect if you died saving kids from a fire in an orphanage than if you took a bunch of convent girls hostage, raped them all to death and then got the back of your head blown out by a police sniper rifle (NB: if this is how I die I definitely want 'Blaze of Glory' at my funeral. There's probably no need to plan for the eventuality that I die rescuing orphans from a fire).
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Oh absolutely. The new one's ok, but the original has that superb guitar riff in all its unmolested glory. I defy anyone who says they can listen to that and not feel instantly 10 times as cheerful.
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quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Yeah I don't think I'd have music at my funeral. Just the sound of my own sobbing, slowed down 50% and then looped at ear splitting volume.
That would make a gr9 YTMND along with a photo from happier times and some vastly inappropriate flying text.
quote:Originally posted by Amy: Maybe play nothing but depressing music, so that even if people weren't crying, they'd be crying by the time they left. Or at least slightly miserable.
eh.
And at the start of the service, have someone read out a list you prepared entitled What She Would Have Wanted so anyone thinking about throwing that phrase around because they have tickets to go to a gig afterwards knows exactly where they stand?
"And for the following, full Victorian mourning for two years..."
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as im away from home for a funeral at the moment, i can say playing Dylan, Mamas and Papas, Kansas, and other sorts of 70's music wasnt as bad as the usual organ music they play
i had to go to church the next day though. and sing hymns. it was torture. they had a big screen with the words and everyone had big smiles and happy faces and i was just mumbling along moving my mouth while making silent comparisons between vacation bible school kids and hitlers youth
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