quote:Originally posted by Kellifer: I suppose my point is that honesty as soon as possible is the best way to go. Your Mother has caused you enough hassle in your life Mikee. The ball is in your court. Tell her you won't visit unless you are sure she's told the twins. You don't need anymore of her messes making you carry the burden.
Wotcha kelli! Actually, for the longest time I always felt that my Mother felt absent from my life, but more recently I couldn't help feel that it is her that essentially needed support. Still, too late for that. I don't think my thoughts will really be taken into consideration on the matter. It's not my call, but I was interested in whether other people shared my thoughts, or indeed think that it makes no difference either way.
quote:Oh and your Dad is tops for being so truthful with you and your brother. It's very easy to just slag off the absent parent - that's all I ever got - but your old man handled it all with class by the sounds of it. Your lucky to have him.
It was good of him, but it worked in his favour. Apparently all the women in our surrounding street felt sorry for my dad and during the day they would invite him over. I bet he got loads of pity-fucks. The spawney get.
Do you not think about your siblings might be? I'm not sure what the knock on effect of finding out what they might be like would be. It might lead to the road to some sort of closure. But then again, you can't really predict these things.
[ 11.08.2006, 09:31: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Kellifer a beautiful, sensitive impenetrable mind.
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If I ever make it to that 'ridiculously successful author dream' of mine I'll go on that 'Who do you think you are?' programme and get them to hunt my other family down.
Right now it's just nice to know something about my father and understand a little of why my family life ended up the way that it did. Being thoughtful and creative wasn't really like the rest of my family growing up. Finding out that my father was in the military, a bit of a loner who joined a theatre company in his spare time was enough to show me that perhaps I wasn't just this odd one out kid. I get a kind of peace from that.
Also he had been cheating on his wife, unknown to my Mum at the time, and he had a family already. When I put myself in his place, I wouldn't choose to leave my partner and children for an affair brought about by loneliness probably. I'd likely have shown more interest in my offspring, but I understand why he didn't. If it meant spending anytime with my step-dad I can see why he didn't want to get involved at all.
I see him as a better person for the truth I have been given and I don't hate myself anymore for not fitting in, or being like him when everyone else hates him. He's just a bloke coping with his life and his mistakes like the rest of us. I hope if I ever did meet him, that he'd be a decent sort of bloke, but I've got this far without him and I'm starting to see that I don't need my family to be proud of me in order to live a happy life.
I'm curious to see if I have things in common with my other siblings, I guess, but I have enough pressure in my life at the moment without looking for new ways to stress myself out. Maybe one day. You're lucky to have this opportunity to learn more about an element of your life that has been kept from you all until now. Just enjoy it as much as you can.
Oh and Mikee, no one is too old to need support, maybe as adults you can help each other through this tricky situation and get closer for it. I've found that relating to my family on an adult level instead of their child who needs to be protected, has opened a lot of doors. Of course whether or not the support is deserved is another thing. Put yourself first a bit. Ultimately the relationship is what you make of it. Hope this helps a bit, Misc kept me informed on the Mother situation and my thoughts have been with you, if that doesn't sound too much like a Godbotherer thing to say.
turbo
Gold..... What is it good for? You can't eat it, you can't smoke it, yet everybody wants it.
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NWOD, please make sure you post about it all when you've been to see them. I have no advice/words to add, but I can imagine that you feel as if you're looking on this situation from a distance. Family relationships are complicated enough in a bog-standard family, but your situation (and Kellifer's, definitely) are out of this world. I wish you lots of good times with your other family and hope everything will just flow naturally once you get there.
[ 12.08.2006, 09:17: Message edited by: turbo ]
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