posted
I saw one of these (last week, the week before? I forget). It was so irredeemably poor that I couldn't bring myelf to watch it anymore.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
I watched a bit of Mastermind last night and someone had Alan Patridge as their specialist subject. I couldn't decide whether this was 1)original, amusing and subversive of normal specialities, like Chaucer's stories about hens 1123-1124 or 2)twattish.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
That post reached new heights of irrelevance.
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quote:Did anyone happen to stumble across the singularly shite Pagans "history" documentary last night?
I watched this a few weeks ago and was rather disconcerted by the reconstruction of the man having sexx with a horse. Which they showed over and over again. Only you couldn't see the horse, you could just see the bare, bloody chest and stubbly underchin of a man thrusting away, with voiceover groans. And the historian! Every opportunity he had to say 'man having sex with a horse', he took. And they'd cut to the clip! Again and again! Apparently it was all to do with power and mastery over the magnificent beast as opposed to sex. And then after, the act, the warrior would chop of its head. Hence the blood, I expect.
I think it had some quite interesting moments, but this horse-fucking torso is now indelibly inked on my mind and overrode any other facts on offer.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
Re last night's Mastermind:
That was the one where this stupid bint had the ridiculously esoteric specialist subject of Boswell and Johnson do the Hebrides, and still only got two questions right! She only had to read one book, fuck's sake. Rubbish.
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: I've really been enjoying that programme, I've watched it for the last few weeks I must get out more obviously
It's a series?? They started last night's programme by telling us that King Arthur wasn't actually a sort of Middle Ages knight in shining armour after all! [Booooo] He was a Pagan! [Hurray!] And he used to splash spunk all over himself! [Bleeeeuuuurgh] And Gwinevere! [Excellent!] And Lancelot! [Alright, that's quite enough - Ed]
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quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: I've really been enjoying that programme, I've watched it for the last few weeks I must get out more obviously
It's a series?? They started last night's programme by telling us that King Arthur wasn't actually a sort of Middle Ages knight in shining armour after all! [Booooo] He was a Pagan! [Hurray!] And he used to splash spunk all over himself! [Bleeeeuuuurgh] And Gwinevere! [Excellent!] And Lancelot! [Alright, that's quite enough - Ed]
Isn't King Arthur supposed to be R*****British?
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quote:Originally posted by StevieX: Isn't King Arthur supposed to be R*****British?
I think he's whatever the latest documentary is about. He's like Highlander. He wanders the Earth for all eternity appearing in History programmes, and wanking.
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posted
It sits nicely between Ground Force USA and Big Brother. Everytime I see it going to come on (only that last 3 weeks admittedly) I think O look its that Pagans programme and feel an affinity with it as my surname means Pagan. Isn't that just the lamest reason for watching something EVER?! Sorry everyone Once I used to be cool and not watch hardly any tv
posted
So, watching tv is not better than having sex but watching films can be. Right good. We're making progress then *stabs self in right eye with Paramount Hotels biro*
posted
I watched Pagans with the odd braincell that wasn't at the same time reading and making notes on sedimentation and ripple marks.
It did seem to be lacking the STUPID PEOPLE DISCLAIMER: we don't know anything accurate about this period of history, so you can get any tv-hungry prof to appear on air and say anything and it'll sound fakchull.
Also, woad makes you "invisible" apparently. Like the unnecesary car in the last Bond film. Also today's football fans/hooligans (all the same innit) are the direct living descendants of pagans.
Now do you see why I have abandoned popular culture?
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posted
Yes, i quite liked the idea of woad and its invisibility powers. I was going to post it on my what to do with cum thread but dang gone done ruined it now.
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: dang gone done ruined it now.
If I'd known that everyone else on the boards had seen it too my post would have just said, "Pagans. Cum. LOL."
As for invisible? If I was a Roman centurian I'd be going, "By Jupiter, there's a truck load of Smurfs coming for us! Scarperamus!"
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
posted
How come they believed that woad would make them invisible? Surely the evidence of their eyes would have immediately suggested otherwise. Unless they were outlined against the sky or something, or a large blue thing.
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posted
See, if you'd watched it you would know! They, er, rubbed on the woad to their naked bodies which made them go bluey green and then attacked at night.
posted
Ok Astro, but look at it this way: These were Boadicca's men. She got all these battle honed men to rub woad and cum all over their taughtly toned naked bodies and then go and have a fight. Naked. With cum on their bodies. And blue. Well, blue green anyway. Hello? You getting it yet? Someone was having a good time.
posted
There are certain moments in time that are better than sex (subject to my usual disclaimer that the phrase 'better than sex' really means 'better than some sex, but certainly not better than really, really good sex').
An example: At age 18, I traveled with a friend of mine to the Woodstock festival. This was before they had been "revived" as a rock festival - in 1990, it was a bunch of hippie types who camped out on the site of the original festival for a week or a weekend in August, playing music and generally enjoying a relaxed outdoor countryside chemically enhanced sort of experience. I got out of my car after having spent the better part of a day driving, and stood for a minute, looking around and taking in the scene. A middle-aged hippie guy walked up to me and said "welcome home" - and wandered off. And for longhaired teenage froop, I really did feel at home.
That was the first thing anyone said to me at Yasgur's Farm. The second thing, said to me by someone else, was "wow, you're so clean."
I don't know if it was better than sex, but it was pretty damn good.
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Scratching insect bites is pretty sweet.
As is picking scabs. There's something fulfilling about it that I just can't fathom. I remember when I was about six I had a pretty nasty bike crash, ripping almost a pound of skin from both of my knees.
Once the wound dried, I'd pick at the scabs. square millimetre by square millimetre, clinically. There would be a sense of happiness once I had cleared the lot, with extra bonus points if there was no gushing blood. I'd then wake up the next morning and do the same thing all over again.
I think this process lasted for about two months, until I was left with a pair of lovely almost matching scars.
Was this better than sex? Erm, I don't know. Probably not, but I couldn't really make a scientific comparison back then.
posted
Stop the press! Not only am I house-sitting for my fulks, all this week and so will be on MSN, but also, the pc I am sat upon, at work, accesses the internet! Maybe, I will be able to turn the quality of my posts up too, by writing something related to the thread, in detail rather than just writing one paragraph.
posted
The bolloxy "sex-as-lifestyle choice" and "sex-as-product," peddled in the media, is boring as hell. Sticking pins in your eyes is better that sex on those terms. Sex in the context of a relationship of one sort or another, as sharing, intimacy, lust, endorphins, etc, is OK, but personally I get a bigger high from surfing.
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I must get out more obviously 
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Thanks grils!
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