Neurotic Cat
My fortune cookie's empty... That's also the title of my autobiography.
posted
Originally posted by Bamba
quote:Having said all that, the twice I've seen this happen the physical abuse has begun after a regime of mental abuse was well established and the victims confidence had been slowly eroded so far that they would believe practically anything they were told and were thus easier to control. Perhaps my strongest memory of all this though is having someone vocalise their utter shock that they would ever find themselves in this situation, the disbelief that it was happening to them and not someone else and that they hadn't simply walked away the instant things had went wrong as they'd spent years telling themselves they would.
This is exactly what happened to me. I was never actually hit but was abused mentally and verbally for 3 years. Far from thinking 'This man is a monster' and being aware that I was in an abusive relationship I just kept thinking and believing it was all my fault.
Its only been the last couple of months after a year of treatment for depression that I am able to look back on the past three years with any clarity.
Its so easy just to listen to what your being told and accept that its all your fault.
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posted
I was in an abusive relationship. My girlfriend at the time was severely mentally unhinged. We went out to a party that I must of spoken to one girl at.... the host. I had a lovely evening, we both decided to call it a night due to pissedness and on the way home her attitude changed. She went from being all smiles to just glowering and sulking so I asked her what was up.
This must have been an invitation to yell 'you were chatting up all the GURLS!!!' and before I could screw up my face like a puckered arse she punched me in the face. I tilted my head away but this was an invitation to ram my head into a wing mirror. She went stomping up the road and when I found her I apologised for my imaginary act. What was I thinking? I think it was fair game to put her in a figure four leg lock and perhaps a full nelson until she called me Daddy. Jeez, I'm a sucking fucker.
posted
Personally I think there are two types of women out there.
Type 1 - would leave a man the instant he laid a finger on her with no questions asked, regardless of how long they have been together, how many children they have, or any of factors type 2 may use to justify their actions. Type 1's love ends the moment that man crosses that line, or if it doesn't end, she at least pretends it does and leaves the grimy bastard.
Type 2 - This is the type of woman who always believes the abuser is sorry and won't ever do it again. She believes that he really loves her and that she is somehow at fault for him hitting her. She makes excuses to friends and family for said bruses and tries to hide husband/boyfriend's behavior for as long as possible. If ever she does leave the asshole it is usually years down the line after several dozen more beatings and broken promises.
Personally, I am a type 1. I love my husband with all of my heart, but if he ever laid a finger on me I would be out of here so fast. Before I left though I'd be on the phone to every one of his relatives telling them exactly why I am leaving. Possibly if he got councelling and proved to me that things would not be repeated I might give him another chance and give it one more go, but I believe that leaving, making him accountable to his family, and going though the councelling would get my point across that behavior of that nature would NOT be tolerated.
That being said the only way my husband would ever strike me is if he found me in bed with another man, which would also never happen so I don't have much to worry about.
I think your friend is very, what's the word, misinformed. How any woman can think that physical abuse is a 'lesser crime' than infidelity is beyond my comprehension.
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