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If they immediately declare a National Public Holiday and Royal Free Bar, yes, bless them, what a delightful couple. If not, fahk'm.
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This is hotter news. People crushed at Ikea store opening! People were so keen to get to the new Ikea store opening in North London that they abandoned their cars, and, when the staff closed the shop doors because people were queuejumping, started charging at the doors! People ended up in hospital! People are insane!
You should make a horror film about that, Benway. People going nuts at Ikea opening. People chopping off their balls when people lose at sport. A crazy people series. It would be awesome! We just need one more crazy people news story and we're there.
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I think it's really nice. They have been in love for about 3 decades, how many relationships can boast of that? So what if she's not the prettiest lady around, I don't know that "horse face" is really a necessary thing to say. Why be sneering of her? Looks doesn't indicate worth, or indeed, worthiness for love. You know that, I know you know that.
That's just sooooooo Don Delillo/George Romero. It would be hard to make a film about it, but maybe a short story, told from the perspective of a child who finds herself in the middle of the crush, and watches in horror as her family transforms into a bunch of screeching puce-faced battering rams. But, you're right. That's well up my alley - thanks Lahndan!
I was just brewing up a thread on that story, but I think that Charles and Camel would be honoured to have their Thread By Appointment hijacked in this way so:
Yes, it's weird isn't it. I've been down IKEA a few times over the years and, whichever branch and whichever day of the week, the fucking place is always crammed full. And it's ginormous, so it takes some filling. Weirdly, there is an Allders At Home shop near us and I've been in there about three times and that place is always heaving with humins as well. Why is that?
Actuall, pretty much all shops are full most the time now I think about it, except BHS. I've been in BHS about four times and I keep thinking there must have been a fire alarm just before I got there. Is there some sort of hypnotism going on here? Why is BHS empty and Allders At Home crammed full when they both sell the same shite?
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I heard the Ikea story on the radio this morning. Until now I thought it was a dream. Obviously I don't want to laugh at people being potentially crushed to death, not least because of the current Thorn Davis Acts Concerned climate but I do think the Ikea Riot is some fucking funny shit.
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I saw the Ikea story this morning and (sadly) the first thought that crossed my mind when I heard about a near riot and a stabbing at the opening of an IKEA was "How typically English"
No surprise, no shock, no curious wonderment.
That made me quite sad.
I really can't imagine it happening anywhere else though, except Scotland.
Charlie and Tamilla though means only one thing, Charlie has finally given up all thoughts and hopes of ever being King and were all set for King Billy in a few years time.
Still better him than that **** Harry.
-------------------- my own brother a god dam shit sucking vampire!!! you wait till mum finds out buddy!
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Unfortunately nobody was crushed to death though - just squashed a bit. People were hospitalised, and there was a stabbing down the road, but apparently it was unrelated. I like to think that the stabber and stabbee were infused with just a little bit of Ikea Madness(TM), though.
Edit: this was in response to Jonesey's assertion that people were 'crushed to death'. I now note that he has inserted a 'potentially' into his post. Bastard.
Unbelievable! It was at midnight too, though that kind of makes sense. The kind of person who goes to Ikea at Midnight on a Tuesday really is the kind of deranged imbecile that would batter down the doors and trample other human's half to death just to get their paws on a wobbly bookcase they plan not to fill with books but rather special edition DVDs of The Fifth Element, Big Momma's House and Flubber.
I dunno, I've been to Ikea twice and it seemed sort of OK and we did get an awful lot of stuff we needed, for not much money which was important because we were setting up home in London on a combined salary of about 38K. Even so, it seems like a whole new barrel of craziness to turn into a baying pack of insane monkeys at a furniture shop. I mean when you hear about it at a football match, or a metal gig it sort of makes more sense, but people losing it over flat pack Swedish furniture beggars belief.
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: Charles and Camel
hoho I see what you did there dang! Reminiscent of the Bardot-saga to my eyes.
Anyway, they were saying on the radio this morning that incidents like these have occured at Ikea events before, just not in the UK, and there are questions as to whether Ikea should have been more prepared. They did have a plan to have a 24 hour opening and staggered offers which they hoped would stop a mad crush (not their words, natch) and services were on hand to help out though.
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Even so, it seems like a whole new barrel of craziness to turn into a baying pack of insane monkeys at a furniture shop. I mean when you hear about it at a football match, or a metal gig it sort of makes more sense, but people losing it over flat pack Swedish furniture beggars belief.
Maybe it's some kind of Design Revolution? I thought it was just me going all apeshit over C20th design classics, Danish design, Scandi Style and the rest: subscribing to Elle Deco, trotting round the Design Museum and the Geffrye Museum, fantasising, with almost sexual fervour, of parking my arse on one those fibreglass shell Eames chairs with the twisted spindle of legs underneath; all the rest - I thought it was just me, because I was a sophisticated urbanite lady in her early 30s and that's just what we do... but maybe it's more generalised? Are you all feeling this? Are we getting taken over by a race of design-obsessed aliens? After all, it's not very British to give a shit about this shit, is it? What's the darker masterplan behind Ikea?
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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quote:Originally posted by London: Unfortunately nobody was crushed to death though - just squashed a bit.
This exact thing happened a month or so ago in Saudi Arabia, but with actual deaths ---->carnagePosts: 2814
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quote:Originally posted by London: Edit: this was in response to Jonesey's assertion that people were 'crushed to death'. I now note that he has inserted a 'potentially' into his post. Bastard.
Blimey. It's impossible to hide anything in this place. That was up there for, like, 5 seconds. Just long enough for me to realise that Thorn would pounce and say something like "But nobody was crushed to death, were they Jonesy? I mean, what kind of idiot compares a couple of people being leaned on next to a flat pack sideboard with Tom Boy laughing at some poor vitimised handicapper cutting his testicles off for the entertainment of a gurgling pub full of inebriated Welsh mongoloids? I dunno, maybe it's just me but that seems a pretty stupid comparison to make."
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I shun all of that kind of shit. I went to Habitat recently, under duress, and I could feel the desperate aspiration pooling and dripping from the ceiling, as if the floor above was piled high with the fresh corpses of childhood dreams.
C is into Ikea, what with her being scandi and everything, and we made regular trips on the A406 to the palace of things that crouched amongst deserted council estates. I have always hated it.
Perhaps if I lived somewhere other than a skanky vermin infested bedsit, my interest in interior design might be fuelled. I do try and consciously avoid product fetishism, as it seems nothing more than a horrible undending competition, but again, this could be down to me being a broke ass ho. In the past, I have spent ridiculous amounts on clothes, so maybe I'm lying to myself, and all of my friends and enemies on TMO.
I didnt hear anything about staggerd offers in the blanket TV and radio promotion of this event (yes we listen to Heart FM at work! Lucky lucky me!), so maybe they should have emphasised that a bit more.
They have been whipping the city into a frenzy for weeks! Heads must roll!
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They interviewed the manager of the store on Radio 4 because they were saying this has happened in other countries before, why weren't they more prepared and he said that they planned to be open for 24 hours and were staggering the offers throughout the 24 hours to try to prevent this kind of thing from happening.
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I do try and consciously avoid product fetishism, as it seems nothing more than a horrible undending competition, but again, this could be down to me being a broke ass ho. In the past, I have spent ridiculous amounts on clothes, so maybe I'm lying to myself, and all of my friends and enemies on TMO.
I think you are - I think you're lying right to our fucking faces. I remember you posting some designer website link and saying it was one of the sites you browsed to kill time at work, and how you liked checking out all the nice shit. I mocked it for having a mirror that cost £500, and you defended it by pointing out that it was a very nice looking mirror, and that that would make it worth £500. Some name calling ensued (on my part, obviously) and then Octavia mediated by pointing out that the mirror wasn't even bevelled glass, which is the only thing that makes a mirror worth paying extra for as it reflects light into the room.
Oh, And because i don't think he's worth expending my 7000th post on I'd also like to say ha-fucking-ha Jonesy, look at the clever little Mynah bird. Wanker. So anyway. That's it from me, i guess. I don't want to spunk a 7000 on something worthless and at the same time I'm incapable of wit or innovation so maybe it'll never happen. Hoo nose.
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lol sorry I am stuck on repeat this morning due to being slightly hungover round the edges. I realise I didn't actually say anything different that time apart from "Radio 4". Sorry Abby.
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Oh yeah, I remember that. That was a good site. I'd forgotten about my past life, before fight club. I was looking at my bank statements last night (I know! But I'm due to be evicted, so I need to), and I couldn't believe how much I was getting paid back then. It was nearly twice as much as now.
Anyway, I did indeed enjoy looking at designer furniture that I could potentially fill 114b Avenue Mansions with. Call me reformed. Sorry TMO. I'm just deluded.
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I suppose the bizarre thing about IKEA is that it is both cheap and trendy and therefore both types of consumer steam in to the same place at the same time and carnage ensues.
People like me would go down there because they sell, for example, a large, reasonably strong bookshelf which you can chuck in the back of the car and have installed at home within an hour, all nice and neutral and fitting in pretty much anywhere, all for about £30.
A trendy would go down there because they can make their whole front room look like the set of Footballers' Wives for about two grand.
This coincidence of cheapskate and wannabe is presumably fairly unique to IKEA. I mean, you wouldn't get the same combination at the local handmade kitchen and tile shop, or at MFI. They have two completely different sets of customers, IKEA has both together.
Would Radio 4 want to interview me do you think?
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Do you think it's bad that you left that job, Benway? Do you regret that decision?
Re: Thorn doing something big for 7000. What could it be? I am wondering what he could pull off that would be of the magnitude of, say, that time Ben said that if he got enough responses on a certain thread he would post a picture of his scanned-in cock... and then DID. What would we like Thorn to do? What is there left for Thorn to do?
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quote:Originally posted by London: Do you think it's bad that you left that job, Benway? Do you regret that decision?
No, but it amazes me that I ever had it in the first place. I quite like that I had that kind of life for a year, because most people with my level of talent, skill, aspiration and commitment would never normally reach those dizzy heights. I'm not cut out for a life of German cars, restaurants, health, and comfort. For example: Last night, I spent the evening drinking opium infused cough medicine, washed down with Jack Daniels and painkillers. People who work at Ernst and Young don't do that kind of thing.
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: in other news
IKEA is not trendy.
Oh, right. I wouldn't know. What's the definition of trendy then? I mean, if it means thousands and millions of people all buying the same thing - qv 4x4 cars, Burberry hats, pink track suits with glitter on, fur boots and rolled up jeans or, er, IKEA furniture - then I would class IKEA as trendy. If it means a few in crowd persons drinking in a specific bar this week and a different one next week then you're right as IKEA has been, er, popular for years and years without end.
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Yes, but IKEA is more than that because it also embraces someone like me who is neither common (er, by the Burberry tracksuit definition) nor trendy and ephemeral (wouldn't have a clue mate). I mean, even the massive gigantomarkets like Tesco and Sainsbury filter different types of customers. IKEA seems to attract everyone. Is there anyone here who has never bought anything from IKEA, even if they did sneer the whole way round the showroom?
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